Wednesday, September 8, 2010

The Kleenex Mafia “Elevate the Party Experience”

It’s like watching a fascinating pilot for a compelling show about engaging, interesting people, if it were neither fascinating, nor compelling, and not featuring any engaging or interesting people.

# posted by douchebag1
1:42 pm September, 8 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I tried to forget these Canuck weasels. But like a moth to a flame I must indulge.

1:59 pm September, 8 Sack O Douche said...

I guess when I have time I will watch it……..which will be never.

1:59 pm September, 8 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

My good friend Ted gave me a recipe the other day that I’d like to try out on these two.
.
First, get 20 55 gallon drums an one Rider truck.
Next, buy ~ 2500 lbs of ammonium nitrate fertilizer
Mix fertilizer with 1000 gallons of high-grade fuel oil and dispense equal volumes into the drums after putting them in truck.
Obtain 300 yards of det cord.
Pass det cord through drums so that they are connected in parallel.
Make sure to attach primers to each loop of det cord
Wire primers to a single digital timer.
Set timer according to when are “at the office” and then wait.
A positive result should soon follow.
.
Hell, this is better than the anthrax + sarin bomb he wanted me to make.

2:07 pm September, 8 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

People have asked me why I left a metropolitan area of several million people this summer to return to my home town of 50,000. The answer is the video. Toronto sucks.

The subplot to this atrocity is that they have touched women. They live together, work out together, drive together, work together, wear guyliner and pluck each others pubes, and are childhood friends. They have been pipr smokers for 40 years. Faggots.

2:20 pm September, 8 Mr. White said...

Wait, this isn’t a joke? Those are real people?
.
Time to put the shotgun back in my mouth.

2:20 pm September, 8 Medusa Oblongata said...

I didn’t even watch this, I’m afraid I’ll vomit and blow all the stitches out of my face. Fuck these guys. Elevate the party experience to the edge of a cliff, will ya? Thaaaaaanks.

2:24 pm September, 8 Captain Garanichode said...

bad idea

2:39 pm September, 8 chaserofthehott said...

I couldn’t even make it a minute in! Somebody F’n kill me please…

2:46 pm September, 8 Army of Douche-ness said...

this makes me feel like a good actor…and here I thought anyone could be put on camer and just act natural

2:52 pm September, 8 Tk said...

Can’t even afford decent coffee, that Tim Horton’s diarrhea.

2:57 pm September, 8 Mr. Biggs said...

Russian Roulette anyone?

3:01 pm September, 8 Douchey the Great said...

Bleh, and I thought Jean-Claude VanDamme movies lacked a point for existing.

3:10 pm September, 8 Et Tu Douche? said...

At 3:51 “Sergio definitely likes to be the boss” at which point I turned it off got up and went for the Pepto Bismol. Stomach churning is all I can come up with to describe this drivel. If it sounds like I’m “Hating” then so be it I’m proud to be a Hater.

3:13 pm September, 8 Baron von Douchemeister said...

What a couple of pole smoking wannabe promoters.
If you watch this fake video there is no audience. Kleenex Mafia I use you to catch my elevated ejaculate,may it hit you in the eye if I miss.

3:16 pm September, 8 Et Tu Douche? said...

@ The Rev
You nailed it right on the head, Sorry you had to leave Toronto it’s a great city.

4:10 pm September, 8 fastfourier said...

URRRRGHHHHHHH

4:20 pm September, 8 douche bagel said...

kleenex is for wiping up my jizz. so by that i mean these guys must be covered in jizz and flushed down the toilet

4:58 pm September, 8 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@ Et Tu Douche?

Had to do it to save my daughters. They can go there in 40 years if I let them.

6:12 pm September, 8 soy bomb said...

Didn’t watch this video and don’t plan to ever. Why? It’s because I actually like myself.

7:08 pm September, 8 Chevy Doucherado said...

How do I feel after seeing this? Disgusted, violated and finally very sad.

I live in Toronto. I have always thought (and still believe) that Canada has a lower density of douche for a variety of reasons: The lack of highly competitive capitalist ethic, the legacy of Protestant frugality and modesty and the fact that most of the time its just too damn cold to take off your shirt.

I have put down the occasional appearance of Canadian bags on this site as anomalies.

But this? This???

This …..

What this shows me is that Douchiness is vibrant in Toronto. And what’s worse – it’s a crap Canadian version of American Douche. Fuck. I would rather see full blown Vegas choads or Wall Street Assclowns than these fucking lame Douche wannabes.

These people are bad. Very bad.

7:14 pm September, 8 fatness said...

In keeping with the Canuck theme…and addressing the used Kleenex brothers above:
.
May the good lord take a liking to you, and BLOW YOU UP REAL GOOD!!!

9:48 pm September, 8 Steve L. said...

ELEVEN MINUTES of the Kleenex Mafia is enough to distort space-time reality.
wait… oh fuck…

10:58 pm September, 8 iDouche said...

“They’re insane partyers”

If only they were really insane , then we could lock them up in a historically accurate recreation of Bedlam and watch them living in cages, on straw, with their own shit ,in a leaky wooden bucket, while we jab them with pointed sticks, with human shit on the ends, and beat them with hosepipes.

1:02 am September, 9 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Well, it’s not a horse, however it’s a butt we can pee in and not feel guilty about.

5:10 am September, 9 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I love low-brow entertainment of all kinds, but this crap sets the bar at a level so low it’s incredible. I have never seen such shallow people in all my live. This makes The Jersey Shore look like Masterpiece Theater. This show can be Masterpee Theater….

5:30 am September, 9 Phil said...

must’ve been produced by some Ryerson University Film Studies second year student…. who are also major douchebags

5:31 am September, 9 Phil said...

oh… and too much man ass for one day… for one lifetime!!!!

6:52 am September, 9 MoeDouche said...

Oh yes. The sub-culture of self-importance is at it again. This time they are funding a documentary about their insipid lives and trying to sell us on the idea that their farts should be bottled and marketed to mankind….

8:12 am September, 9 Baleen said...

I noticed one model had red lengerie on, meaning they featured red and black for the event. Wow, how did they pull that shit off? Fucking amazing!

9:35 am September, 9 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

I can’t believe I watched the whole thing. I blame the Jews for that. Market is slow due to the holiday so somebody needs to be blamed.

9:35 am September, 9 Claude Douchenburg said...

Not even did I throw up in my mouth before the first minute was over, the volume of puke was so much that it started running out my nose causing me irritation. Tryuing to hold back I sneezed. I ended up sneezing out vomit, barfing and farting at the same time. My cubby was a mess.

9:48 am September, 9 Claude Douchenburg said...

I have one piece of advice for these guys…GROW SOME FREAKING HAIR FOR KRYSSAKES!!!

11:58 am September, 9 Choadthedouchesprocket said...

This video makes me want to bomb Canada.

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