Tuesday, September 21, 2010

The Toronto Poo Jays

Not since the original Toronto Poo Jay have we seen such water foul hoserbags polluting the shores of the great white north.

What’s going on up there, eh?

The plague in Canada continues to spread.

# posted by douchebag1
7:36 am September, 21 Eliza Douchecoo said...

The young lass without sunglasses can still be saved, the other I’m afraid may be too far gone. Is there some sort of scientific formula which one can correlate the size of the sunglasses to the size of the douche? On an overcast day no less.

8:03 am September, 21 mr.reeve said...

Again, my theory on Blue Blocker sunglasses has another example. Blue Blocker Sunglasses = autodouche.
Wow Canada. You are as bad or worse than America as far as douche goes.

8:08 am September, 21 Baleen said...

Two dingleberries
Two nottas
And two cups.

8:09 am September, 21 Baleen said...

Make that three cups. Think of the fecal fun to be had!

8:09 am September, 21 dblpits2teste said...

Nice cleavage! Oh wait, that’s one of the bags.

8:13 am September, 21 Eliza Douchecoo said...

The Mountinis would eat these poser fags for breakfast…then go for appletinis.

8:14 am September, 21 Deltus said...

I read the word hoserbag, and my first instinct is to protest. Then I think, no, it’s fitting. Yes it hurts to hear, but it’s *supposed* to hurt. This choadmeat is representing your country, and befouling it in the process. So hoserbags it is, and a pox on them.
.
Also, some great examples of Canadian hott, especially with the brunette with the boobies.

8:34 am September, 21 Et Tu Douche? said...

You could teach a class, titled D-Bag 101, on just the plethora of adoucherements being sported by these 2 Toronto Maple Queefs.

8:46 am September, 21 Wedgie said...

They are visiting from New York.

8:46 am September, 21 Wheezer said...

I have to ask: how do these ‘bags decide the angle at which they tilt their hats? Do they consult the nearest sundial at random points in the day? Do they pull the string on the See ‘n Say during Phonics class and watch for the direction of the arrow as it stops?
.
Or do they just throw ’em on and say “Yo”?

9:06 am September, 21 Sergeant Scrote Stain said...

I have no creative words nor any unique cut-downs to describe these ‘tards. These are just your everyday 29 year-old idiots cruising around on Uncle Vinny’s boat while dressing and acting (and mating) like sixteen year-olds.

.

But I will offer this observation to the asshat in the black d-neck: Moobs. Ew, gross.

9:25 am September, 21 douche bagel said...

mike and joey finally reconciled a heated debate on sunglass color and 4th dimension hat tilt. mike stated he would enter the time space continuum before joey because his hat tilt was more aerodynamic. joey rebutled with a sperm loaded queef that projected him simultaneously with mike across the spatial plane making mikes hat tilt moot.

9:52 am September, 21 CBS said...

haha…the douche on the left is an extensive of kleenex mafia. part owner of a couple of clubs and owner of a promotional media company…whatever that is.

i believe he is not even human….he’s actually a volatile mixture of axe, redbull and dristan.

i dont understand why these guys think they look cool? the last pic i saw of Mr. Kleenex he was wearing something that looked like my Grandmother might put on once her cataracts fully developed.

this poo gay douche looks like a fucking clown. i guess the problem is that it is toronto. Toronto is 50% immigrant and also the biggest gay population per capita…bigger than san fran bc ther are a lot of gay immigrant refugees that dont come out. this is an additional problem bc they pair up with gay females to escape shitty third world countries. two gays actually start families…the kids…well, homo is clearly a strong influence in the gene pool.

toronto is gay and ignorant and it is a very shitty place to live if you have standards, morals and a brain in your head bigger than the size of a cat turd. very shallow city. big into reality tv and trendy shows that come and go like a rape victim’s build up to orgasm. big into running away from real relationships…there is no stay at home dinners for people under 35…they are at restaurants every night. if your business was to lease low end bmws, benz and porsche…you would make a killing here.

the immigrant factor leads to some really awesome and unique people…but they are rare. the affluence leads to some intelligent people but rarely are they conscious. music here is just completely gay. i only enjoy the vibes at reggae jams.

i want to marry an american…only in order to provide them free health care and then when their treatment is over…we go to the states and i get citizenship there in time. my parents moved to san diego 10 yrs ago…i like it much better.

when i go up to girls there…they dont necessarily have interest…but their rejections are fair and polite. usually…”well i’m really busy this time of year with my work”

i have never heard that once from a girl in toronto. they are so shallow and low self-esteemed that you usually hear “i have a boyfriend” or it is something unpleasant and condescending. it is hard to find quality women in this city.

in fact they dump their boyfriends in may almost always and then grab a new one in october. why? bc they want to whore it up in the summer and then they need a chauffeur in the winter. it is very true and equally pathetic.

i remember going on dates in san diego and the girls were volunteering to drive. they were fine with it.

toronto is the equivalent of an empty room with broken glass on the ground and shart on the walls. you have nowhere safe to hangout and it stinks.

i just hate this city. it is hard to get recognized here as well bc you have to play gay ball. there is an impetus to bend over to get further along. something i do not partake in.

10:03 am September, 21 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

They are at a place in Toronto called The Docks. It is an entertainment venue created by the Ministry of Health to attract these types so they can meet and interbreed towards extinction.

10:10 am September, 21 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@CBS

You an an angry hatter. And you are correct. I went there, put up with the shit, made my money and left. I’ve been out for two months and my blood presure is back to normal.

10:12 am September, 21 tall guy said...

Oh, those two dudes! Repulsive. Brunette bleeth in front looks just alright, but from what I can tell the shade of her lipstick looks somewhat telling. Also, is hat-tilt-guy drinking beer through a straw?

10:16 am September, 21 DarkSock said...

I expect the Tidy Bowl man to putt past in the background any minute here.

1:30 pm September, 21 Dave said...

Evolution gone wrong I guess…
Thanks for pointing them out. We can’t have Dawkin’s kids running wild and reproducing up here in Canada. Neuter the pricks. Has Dawkins been neutered yet does anyone know? Best to keep damage to a minimum.

1:34 pm September, 21 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

That woman in black on the far left needs to see her endocrinologist about some facial hair issues, and perhaps get a little Wonder Bra for her cleavage.

2:33 pm September, 21 Steve L. said...

no wonder the Blue Jays sucks in the MLB.

3:21 pm September, 21 CBS said...

if you want to understand how shallow toronto is and understand the demographic here…no one goes to blue jays games anymore… we won two world series in a row in the early 90’s. we filled the biggest stadium at the time every game. set attendance records all the time…then the strike. when things resumed…we didn’t contend and that was it. baseball has been nothing here ever since. the city is all immigrant. Toronto FC is the soccer team…they sell out…they are the city’s team and that is this city’s sport. personally i hate professional soccer…i think like monotheism it was designed to make no sense and suck on purpose as a joke against us and as a way to fuck us over forever. imo

7:35 pm September, 21 Medusa Oblongata said...

I kinda like “Hoserbag.” Well done, Deltus.

7:49 pm September, 21 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Do these guys look in the mirror before they go out and say, “Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about!”? I just don’t get how ANYONE can look at an outfit like that and think it SHOULDN’T be paired with a red foam nose and some big shoes. Fucking clowns.

8:15 pm September, 21 Chixdiggit said...

CBS,

I’ve lived in Toronto and I’ve traveled the world and I’d never characterize Toronto girls as cold and shallow.

I think you’ll find that, in most urban centers where women are relatively well educated, it’s always difficult for bigoted, ignorant and bitter men to gain a foothold.
Best of luck on your move south of the border.
The sooner the better.
Because when you a approach a woman at a bar with the opener, “there’s too many fags in here…let’s go back to my place and bang”, you only make it more difficult for the rest of us.

6:17 am September, 22 Tony Ventresca said...

^ Agreed, CBS is an idiot (probably from Oshawa) and Chad is not far behind. Besides, everyone knows Vancouver is the most shallow city on the planet.

6:57 am September, 22 Bag Margera said...

I love Toronto, but because of this picture, I’m actually considering moving away.

9:01 am September, 22 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Eliza
.
There is a formula that can determine hat tilts and correlate sunglasses size to douche size. Unfortunately it is part of string theory and we really can’t make any useful sense of it because we can’t begin to fathom 11 dimensions let alone what the fucck a string even is. Now my personal equation (and Mr. White should probably be brought in at this point) has sunglasses size being directly proportional to ego and a mount of AXE but inversely proportional to number of functional brain cells. The hat tilt correlates to a moving center-of-mass inside said wearer’s dome. Lots of stuff about angular momentum and moments of inertia and rotating coordinate systems. Part of the solution involves spherical harmonics but I won’t bore you with that.

3:09 pm September, 22 Sir David Douchenborough said...

Please, CBS, tell us how you really feel about gays, immigrants, and women from Toronto. While Toronto hating is becoming a Canadian pastime like hating Nickelback, something terrible must have happened to you to blame everything in Toronto with exception of yourself; those ‘stupid’ professionals, you know like research psychologists, who work downtown would call that insecurity . Maybe some swarthy gay guys beat you up on Church street while yelling obscenities at them because you were frustrated on your way home after striking out for the 11th consecutive time at Bier Markt. According to you, since only stupid people live in Toronto, well, I guess being home to a top rated university in Canada, laboratories with premier life science researchers, and the home offices of the five largest banks is all just one big lie.

Anyway, that is not say there is a ring of truth; photos like the one above give credence to the saying that “Toronto is a nice place to visit but not to live,” unless of course you live in one of the separate neighbourhood villages away from downtown. Nonetheless, there is a reason why almost every rock band, indie or mainstream, will play in Toronto, and that is not because they lack taste.

These poo stains up there are probably from Scarborough who drive in to get their drink on at Brant house or something. This is expected because when it comes to the most effective spread of a virus, you have to hit the major urban centers, and Toronto is the largest city in Canada.

Where is Milla Jovovich when you need her?

10:31 pm September, 22 Aquarium Fish said...

I have bookmarked your site and visit all the time, keep up the good work!

Leave a Reply

What is 13 + 10 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)