Thursday, September 30, 2010

The Vegas Seafood Surprise

Crustacean’s to the left of me.

Fish Slap to the right.

Here I am, stuck in the middle with poo.

# posted by douchebag1
11:28 am September, 30 Claude Douchenburg said...

The hott has to be sandwiched between the two bags in order to keep her feet. The floor is so slimey with bag grease she is like a fawn on a frozen pond.

11:30 am September, 30 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Bouillabaise a la Douche Surprise.

11:31 am September, 30 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The bald dude in the back is so disgusted he is looking for the douche alarm.

11:33 am September, 30 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

One little , two little, three little chin fungs. Four little ..oh fucck it.

11:35 am September, 30 Medusa Oblongata said...

Yeah, Seafood Surprise indeed. When you’re doubled over on the shitter after looking at it, and then when you test positive for Hep B and E in six months, yeah, you’ll be surprised.
.
Speak of Fish Slap and he shall appear? Freaky, I just mentioned him in the last thread, that’s scary. I’m only hoping he-who shall-not-be named- doesn’t show up. No, not Lord Voldemort. No, not Samurai Scrote, either, I’m talking about….
.
funny that typing D.D’s name into Yahoo image search yielded first a pic of the actual shitstain, and this was next.

11:37 am September, 30 douche bagel said...

stealers wheel does not approve

11:40 am September, 30 jonezy said...

oh my, I had nearly forgotten about Crusty’s delighful ZebraStripe gum Hottie. dayum!

11:41 am September, 30 douche bagel said...

at the premiere of the new film The Brothers Soulpatch

11:41 am September, 30 Vin Douchal said...

The line snaked around the Chlamydia clinic as Dr Hundt-Scheiss checked in another gross of doxycycline doses

11:42 am September, 30 Wheezer said...

Ah, (Fuck) Fish Slap returns on cue. Doesn’t he realize that Vanilla Ice looked like a complete assmunch 20 years ago with the eyebrow shave (and everything else)?
.
Doing something for a long time does not make it timeless, (Fuck) Fish Slap. Learn this difference and begone.

11:44 am September, 30 Medusa Oblongata said...

L-R: Burnt toast, Capuchin monkey, Fat Danny Zuko, Easter Island Tiki Head, and, well, we all know who that is.

11:46 am September, 30 system of douche said...

This is about as gay as it gets, folks. Scrawny blonde was shoved into the picture to tone it down.

11:48 am September, 30 system of douche said...

Steve Wilkos gives the green light to open fire.

11:54 am September, 30 Deltus said...

Stuck in the Middle with Poo
————————————–
.
Well I don’t know why I came here tonight,
I got the feeling this party ain’t right,
I’m so scared in case I fall off my chair,
And I’m wondering how I’ll get down the stairs,
Crustacean’s to the left of me,
Fish Slap to the right, here I am,
Stuck in the middle with poo.
.
Yes I’m stuck in the middle with poo,
And I’m wondering what it is I should do,
It’s so hard to keep this grease from my face,
Losing my lunch, yeah, it’s all over the place,
Crustacean’s to the left of me, Fish Slap to the right,
Here I am, stuck in the middle with poo.
.
Well you started out with nothing,
And you’re proud that you’re a steroid freak,
And your friends, they all come crawlin,
Slap you on the back and say,
Broooo…. Groooo…..
.
Trying to make some sense of it all,
But I can see that it makes no sense at all,
Is it cool to leave that puke on the floor,
‘Cause I don’t think that I can take anymore
Crustacean’s to the left of me, Fish Slap to the right,
Here I am, stuck in the middle with poo.
.
Well you started out with nothing,
And you’re proud that you’re a thick necked twit,
And your friends, they all come crawlin,
Slap you on the back and say,
Broooo…. Groooo…..
.
Well I don’t know why I came here tonight,
I got the feeling this party ain’t right,
I’m so scared in case I fall off my chair,
And I’m wondering how I’ll get down the stairs,
Crustacean’s to the left of me,
Fish Slap to the right, here I am,
Stuck in the middle with poo,
Yes I’m stuck in the middle with poo,
Stuck in the middle with poo.

11:55 am September, 30 Vin Douchal said...

The Pomona High School Halo Club could send these guys out the door in bandages and crutches

11:58 am September, 30 douche bagel said...

fucc deltus i really liked that song. it will be tainted forever

11:59 am September, 30 Nancy Dreuche said...

Yeeyay! The gangs all queer! I mean here! And I refuse to get used to it. Its not fair that this guy is still around and Greg Giraldo is not. The only joy Fishslap brings to me, is when I think of him being consistently barraged by bipolar barracudas in the Bermuda Triangle. So I guess he does have that going for him.

12:08 pm September, 30 Vin Douchal said...

From dlisted.com:
.
Because in Japan, the words “Jersey Shore” don’t connote the smell of tanning oil, stale beer and vomit quite the way they do on our shores, network execs came up with a variation on the show’s name for the Land of the Rising Sun: “Macaroni Rascals.”
.
Link if you give a shit about or can stomach these insufferable pustules

12:10 pm September, 30 Wedgie said...

The guys: “How about now?”
Her: “No, you still need a couple more friends before your collective IQ equals mine……and I’m just a hairdresser”.

12:20 pm September, 30 Fatness said...

Vin, now they need to work on character names. I’ll suggest The Shituation to start.

12:27 pm September, 30 Vin Douchal said...

Need to mention this, it’s Lacey Chabert’s 28th birthday today
.
.

12:30 pm September, 30 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Douche in the black shirt is thinking “Yeah take that you skinny little bitch. I got TWO dates for tonight and you only got one!”

12:33 pm September, 30 Vin Douchal said...

Gah!
Link

12:35 pm September, 30 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Thanks, Vin for the picture of Lacey Chabert. Looking at that cured me of the need for projectile vomitting and shitting. AT. THE. SAME. TIME!

12:40 pm September, 30 Eliza Douchecoo said...

The guy in the back walked in, looked around, said, “Fuccck”, then turned around and walked right back out.

12:42 pm September, 30 Phil said...

fuck fishslap?

12:47 pm September, 30 CBS said...

Nebuchadnezzar ordered the furnace heated seven times hotter than average and had the four tossed into it, and made a decree which commanded all to fall and worship this now monument when the instruments played.

12:49 pm September, 30 Wedgie said...

Thanks Vin, as always, you pick us up with a little afternoon treat. Too bad she’s only 28; I have some t-shirts that old.

12:49 pm September, 30 Blinded by the Shite said...

Fish Slap now reminds me of Sonny Ibrahim from Midnight’s Children.
.
Anyone?

12:59 pm September, 30 Vin Douchal said...

Fleas, mosquitos, chinch bugs, bedbugs, wasps, fire ants, crabs, pubic louses, horseflies and earthworms are bouncing from one crotch to other between these idiots like tourists visiting the Hawaiian islands

12:59 pm September, 30 Blinded by the Shite said...

Pish Spalt

1:00 pm September, 30 Blinded by the Shite said...

Piss Splatt

1:01 pm September, 30 Blinded by the Shite said...

Wish Flaps

1:02 pm September, 30 Blinded by the Shite said...

Miss Clap

1:03 pm September, 30 Blinded by the Shite said...

Spencer Pratt

1:08 pm September, 30 Captain Scrote Sparrow said...

Sausage party….. NEXT

1:14 pm September, 30 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’d like to macaroni Lacey Chabert’s rascal.

1:18 pm September, 30 mr.reeve said...

This is the before picture of the newest internet website “4 guys. 1 Cup”. The notta was there for moral support.
Hey guys, you are not the Rock. Stop the faux bad ass eyebrow raise. And while you are at it, stop waxing your bushy eyebrows. You look like a bunch of transvestites without make up on.

1:23 pm September, 30 Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein said...

Duck Wish Crap

1:25 pm September, 30 Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein said...

The smell of Axe in the air must be stifling.

1:28 pm September, 30 Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein said...

Yummmmm, Lacey Chabert, I would tongue pound her fart box.

Happy Birthday Lacey! How come you never call me, ever.

1:44 pm September, 30 The Goob the Bag and the Pudly said...

These guys seem way more excited about having their arms around each other than the meth-addled Debby Harry impersonator.
.
@ ASvB, 1:25 PM
Maybe that’s how they deal with the recession– if one douche sprays on enough Axe and they all rub up against him, then they can save money.
.
Maybe it’s just the taint– er, tint of the picture, but it looks like they’re all wearing lipstick except her.

3:44 pm September, 30 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Mebbe they’re all lined up to Fuck Fish Slap.

5:13 pm September, 30 CBS said...

wow what is fish slap’s story?…coke dealer by night, homosexual prostitute by 5 am, human bidet by noon.

remember celebrity deathmatch…db1…you need to do a claymation of douchebag deathmatch. it would be awesome to have a title bout between fish slap and the gator. i would pay to see them using staple guns and fire pokers on each other. maybe pumpy could run in at the end with a tank of liquid nitrogen over his head and take everyone out with it. and then pumpy could have some kind of kenny ending every episode bc everyone loves kenny and especially when he dies.

5:15 pm September, 30 CBS said...

but then again these are kind of real ppl and it seems pumpy was a popular choice and is sincerely missed. so…a little big red tape to chew up before going right ahead with it…right

6:51 pm September, 30 Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein said...

@ Goob

To put your theory to the test, I was forced to contact this rag tag group of Rump Rangers.

It was a difficult quest. I searched the Y.M.C.A., truck-stops, adult movie houses, and the local glory holes. Finally I caught up with them at a Justin Beiber concert.

I proceeded to ask them if they spray Fish Slap’s love box and then take turns rubbing up against him? They all verified that this was indeed the case.

So in closing, yes Goob, you were correct sir.

9:20 pm September, 30 creature said...

fuck fish slap!

9:41 pm September, 30 Steve L. said...

the girl in this pic looks like a mutated simian.
i blame Crustacean and Fish Slap.

9:56 pm September, 30 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Thank you CREATURE!!!

9:58 pm September, 30 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

She is certainly an itty-bitty pint-sized pretty-titty.
Which reminds me, it’s time for a pint.

10:08 pm September, 30 Stephanie said...

This photo reminds of that SNL routine where the 2 guys go dancing and their heads bob to the disco music, and that’s these guys. And they’re going to rub and bump against this one poor girl,and bounce her like a pinball between all of them.
I can smell them from here. Stinks like axe/ass through my computer.

11:33 pm September, 30 Baleen said...

Late to the party as usual. My Chinese made Dell computer has been running slower than a three toed sloth on Haloperidol. It has a feva and the only cure is more ass pear. Then I finally log on to this holy site to be greeted by fuccen Fishslap and his band of merry anal wranglers. Gotta give it to the legends, they don’t quit. They keep coming back like the viruses spawned by shady porn websites.

12:55 am October, 1 Jacques Doucheteau said...

That’s intense, dude. I’m reminded of my great aunt’s famous crawfish Étouffée, after the Altzhiemer’s, blindness, and dementia kicked in.

6:53 am October, 1 Dex said...

My god, they’re gathering together to form some sort of horrible syndicate, like the villains in Dick Tracy. Only this time they smell like a foggy wharf. Blondie gets no sympathy from me. In all likelihood, she deserves what’s about to happen.

6:56 am October, 1 Wheezer said...

Nothing like bromance:
See Dick. See Dick run. No Jane!
No girls! Just broflex!

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