Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Tough Guy Chase Finds Boobies

After the last couple of days of Monthly winners and the return of Fish Slap and Smoot, we need to dial it down a bit with some average real world HCwDB.

Tough Guy Chase isn’t uberdouche, but he is real world clubscrote. Chin pubes. Gangsta glare. Sleeve tatts.

Keep overpayin’ for bottle service, Tough Guy Chase. Surely your MMA managing career will take off one of these days.

And Angelica’s boobies are very, very, very round. I title them “The Trip to Bounciful.”

# posted by douchebag1
11:25 am September, 15 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I don’t see Chase but I see some spicy boobyballs. Maybe brunette’s boobage will burn my accidental viewing of Precious while home sick and Miss Kroegers Tuesday Hannah Montana 45 degree hat tilt from my brain.

11:27 am September, 15 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Yup, drinking a Bud Light. Total douche.

11:31 am September, 15 tall guy said...

Beware the subtle douche (misnomer if ever there was one…) for if ever there was a foolproof way of grading the level of douchery in any given bag, it is when said bag makes a feeble, pathetic attempt at understatement.
Mmmm, pizza boobies.

11:32 am September, 15 mr.reeve said...

Boobs! Yes, the Bud Light adds to his doucheness. Club skanks and their extra short skirts are a thing of beauty…..but not enough for me to deal with the bags, bad music and DJ Pudds that also hang out at these clubs. I’ll do my drinking at home.

11:33 am September, 15 DarkSock said...

In light of my failing faculties due to age and chemical onslaught I’d like to go ahead and cast my vote in the yearly for “Golden Globes” winner. Need I say for whom I vote?
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Those are no small moons…and their tractor beams are causing me to do a Hand Solo as my wamp-rat is drawn steadily towards her Wookie.

11:33 am September, 15 jonezy said...

very, very, 2pi r^2 round.

11:33 am September, 15 DarkSock said...

Don’t get me wrong; I do not find her attractive. I am merely drawn to spectacle.

11:35 am September, 15 jonezy said...

Chad Vader’s date round

11:36 am September, 15 Mr. White said...

@darksock
I hear ya, although it would be nice if Golden Globes went to a HC that had naturals.
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I actually think brunette would be adorable without those bolt-ons.

11:37 am September, 15 mr.reeve said...

Little round mounds of rebound. They are like Charles Barkley’s head. Only smaller, white and they have nipples.

11:37 am September, 15 tall guy said...

I’d say that blonde on right is, what Troy often refers to as, a stage 3 bleeth. In fact, deep down both are probably very shallow.

11:37 am September, 15 DarkSock said...

If I had the time, and an unlicensed copy of PhotoShop, I’d give her chest the Goatse treatment.
.
.
.
.
.
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That was a hint, Jacques.

11:37 am September, 15 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Needed a second look. They are still round and fucleably cleavaged. Where is my KY. Mrs. is getting King Georged tonight if I can keep her tits off the floor for a few minutes. Where are my bungee cords.

11:39 am September, 15 jonezy said...

She named them Titan and Hyperion

11:41 am September, 15 DarkSock said...

Her boobs are so big when she runs they belch.

11:42 am September, 15 Arthur C. Clark said...

Is that a wrinkle in her shirt or do I see some nipplage? I like brunettes with matching areoli. I also like some areoli sprinkled on my Caesar salad. Any shade will do except ginger.

11:42 am September, 15 jonezy said...

of course, if you did try to titty fuck them, their gravitational force would split your dick in half like a banana peel

11:43 am September, 15 Arthur C. Clark said...

And gingers taste better with garlic and a smooth shave,

11:47 am September, 15 Eliza Douchecoo said...

Oh man the things I would do to those…seriously what would I do with those, I can’t remember it’s been so long.

11:53 am September, 15 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

There’s enough silicone there such that if she took each bolt-on off of her chest, placed one firmly on her face and the other one firmly on the back of her head, she could make a life-sized model of her cranium. Seriously. Look at the circumference of each one and then compare them to the size of her head. If your fake zepplin hangers are bigger than your head, you got issues.
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As for him, he got caught in the picture while bussing the table. (fuck) Fish Slap and Smoot are due back any second from tag-teaming Gavin in the alley out back.
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I’m thinking DB1 might need to put this one in the Guggenheim under “The Bad, The Good, and The Ugly”. Yeesh! That skank on the right scared the bleach into turning her hair blonde.

11:58 am September, 15 DarkSock said...

Her boobs are so big she needs a permit to ride a bicycle.

12:17 pm September, 15 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Her boobs are so big they can cover Chad Kroeger’s eyes but not his whole face.

12:20 pm September, 15 Et Tu Douche? said...

I would gladly pay extra to ride on the back of a bactrian camel to take the “Trip To Bounciful”.

12:24 pm September, 15 Et Tu Douche? said...

Kuds’s to TG Chase for not balking at letting Bleeth Blond pick up the tab with daddy’s credit card that or she getting ready to chop up some more lines.

12:24 pm September, 15 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Her boobs are so big that each has a unique civilization living under them. Biodome Left houses a hostile race of unicorn-riding ferrets and Biodome Right contains a peace-loving band of fire-breathing slugs. Each species has mutated to breath the helium that fills her head but alas, it is running out. Later that evening she was rushed to the hospital when the slugs turned war mongers and met the ferrets on The Plain of Cleavitium to fight over the rapidly dwindling helium.

12:30 pm September, 15 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

Her boobs are so big they make a loud beeping noise when she walks backwards.

12:40 pm September, 15 Captain Garanichode said...

mmmmmma mmmma mmmmmotorboat!!!!

12:41 pm September, 15 Vin Douchal said...

Tough Guy Chase isn’t uberdouche? Are you drunk?
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Dumb question.

1:00 pm September, 15 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ Jonezy–ahh, I forgot all about Chad Vader. That is one of those wonderful creations that teh interwebz was made for.
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@ DBHD 12:24
So….when does the 3-D CGI version of this story come out? I imagine Thanksgiving or Christmas, right?
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Her boobs are so big, the left one is filling the vacancy left by Pluto and the right one is in the process of applying to be #10.

1:00 pm September, 15 Mr. White said...

In lieu of original humor, I will now repurpose one of my favorite Darksock lines ever:
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Her boobs are so big that her vulva is planning a jihad against them.

1:02 pm September, 15 douche bagel said...

TOP
GRADE
COCKHOLSTER

1:02 pm September, 15 Medusa Oblongata said...

BTW Tough Guy Chase reeks of smug and that’s the clincher. He’s not even all that douchey, really. But that snotty look on his face and aggressive caveman-guarding-his-woman pose seal the deal. Throw in the Bud Light and a V-neck shirt and that is mere window dressing.

1:04 pm September, 15 wonderdouche twin said...

She was sitting there alone but her boobs are so big, and because of their incredible gravitational pull, Chase and his bleeth were pulled to the couch.

1:14 pm September, 15 Medusa Oblongata said...

^ “The force is strong with this boob.”

1:18 pm September, 15 douche bagel said...

the soulpatch is running rampant

1:54 pm September, 15 Deltus said...

Her boobs are so big the Empire used them as the plans for DeathStars I and II.

2:12 pm September, 15 Wedgie said...

I love bolt-ons. I feel they should be required on all young women in America, just like spaying and neutering is required in China, after you have had your one allowed child.
Yup, that’s the ticket.

2:29 pm September, 15 Wedgie said...

Hey, I just noticed the brunette in the middle sporting the Hurley logo dead center of her chest. Nice guerilla marketing campaign, guys.

2:39 pm September, 15 Troy Tempest said...

Brunette with Bolt Ons and a blonde whose head makes a whistling sound when the wind blows, and a douchenozzle who makes earthworms chew plastic and die because eating shit in a world with him just isn’t fun any more.

2:57 pm September, 15 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Medusa
.
I believe we’ll be auditioning for some of the lead roles soon. If you’re interested I just happen to have a “casting couch” in my office for just such a purpose. Maybe you could bring Dicy for the role of your sidekick? I know just the scene I have in mind. It involves a release of unbridled passion between the heroine and the sidekick once they realize the last of the helium is about to run out. In order to get the part you have to be REALLY believable and not hold anything back. Your true qualities MUST shine through. Any props that you want to bring are fine with me. I’m sure we’ll find a way to incorporate them into the movie. Oh, and I might need to shoot the scene several times. Just in case. You know?

3:35 pm September, 15 DarkSock said...

Dicy…..?
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I guess Doc got ‘r.

6:44 pm September, 15 doucheywallnuts said...

With underdeveloped arms like those, Chase ain’t going to have much of a career doing anything physical, except maybe clearing tables These MMA douche-wannabes are really the lowest form of “life” on the douche poo chain.

6:48 pm September, 15 DarkSock said...

I knew the shape of her cans reminded me of other globes:
asdfe

6:56 pm September, 15 Guid is Good said...

That reminds me – got to get a bouncy castle for the kid’s birthday next week.

7:46 pm September, 15 Steve L. said...

overpaying for bottle service does NOT make you a tough guy, Chase.
holy shit i typed out the name “Chase”. i feel dirty now.

1:31 am September, 16 Baleen said...

Just look at that motherfucker paw his way into the picture. And that wallpaper looks like the upholstery in an ’88 Corolla.
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I Wouldn’t mind making a chili dog with those tits either.

1:32 am September, 16 Baleen said...

What?

8:15 am September, 16 mr.reeve said...

That is nice pear. Thank you Supertangas……..and Vin of course.

10:22 am September, 16 MoeDouche said...

Bless you DarkSock. This humble man salutes your HTML skills….”How does he do it?”
==
Does her plastic surgeon moonlights at the local auto repair shop? Man, those tits look bolted on!

12:58 pm September, 16 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

It is very pleasing to see the regular patterns of checkerboards on the walls and matching titties on the chest-walls.

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