Thursday, September 30, 2010

Woody Woodpanel

Woody Woodpanel knows how to multitask.

Cell phone call + hand gesture = stone cold badass.

And by stone cold badass, I mean chestshave revealing ass gargle.

Carole and Rachel think of ways to excuse themselves. But since they haven’t put the lotion in the basket, they must remain.

# posted by douchebag1
3:37 pm September, 30 Turdacious said...

wait, before you take that pic, let me get my phone out like im doing a coke deal and these are my bitches.

3:39 pm September, 30 Vin Douchal said...

Them’s a couple of leggy babes.
.
His boss is yelling at him to leave the pizzas and come back for more orders

3:44 pm September, 30 mr.reeve said...

Oh those legs on left hot. I think she knows he is douche. Right hot is being mugged. Call the bouncerbags to come over and help. Woody Woodpanel tells them, “Smell my finger, bro!”

3:48 pm September, 30 Et Tu Douche? said...

Poseur D-Bag can’t even get the shocker right, Hott on the right has a wholesomeness to her that exudes fun in the sack.
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@tallguy
Regarding Chi-Town if your looking for a cool laid back bar after a day of exploring that great city check out the Map Room in Bucktown they have an extensive collection of quality Belgians, Micro’s and imports

3:51 pm September, 30 Douche Springsteen said...

Holding a white wine glass by the bowl and not the stem? Très gauche, you can have that one, broseph. I’d still save the ambiguously Semitic Rachel from your foul grasp though.

3:53 pm September, 30 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

He should get the hose. And a death’s head beetle in the mouth. And throat. And nostrils.

3:55 pm September, 30 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Somehow this is how I imagine the playpen in my dreams. But it has a lot more “fluids” on the walls and there are A LOT more mechanical devices. And plastic. *starts to shudder while beating self in the head with a stapler*

4:02 pm September, 30 Wedgie said...

Yeah, he looks like a guy who would judge her for holding her wine glass wrong. Stuck up fuccer.

4:12 pm September, 30 system of douche said...

What the hell is this asswipe doing in an otherwise pleasant picture?

Hang up the fuckken phone, take off the shades and go kill yourself, k?

4:26 pm September, 30 douche bagel said...

fucc i knew this day would come, im pretty sure thats my friend. he’s a model in NY. oh boy…

4:28 pm September, 30 Charles Ulysses Farley said...

If one looks closely at the table, one can see a plethora of items that are about to shoved into Edgars puckered starfish.

4:48 pm September, 30 Medusa Oblongata said...

He’s saying, “I’d fuck me. I’d fuck me so hard.”

4:53 pm September, 30 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ Dr. BHD
Oh, it’s far more rugged than this. The original playpen was somewhat posh, but the cleanup was a nightmare. The recent incarnation is much more sinister. Glaring single bulb hanging from the ceiling, crumbling stone walls, concrete floor with a drain in the center. The exposed joists in the ceiling are pretty strong. This is a burly old house, built 80-some years ago, and there’s a fine restraint and suspension system set up here. It’s a little damp, so I’m hesitant to keep the good leathers down here. But having the rear entrance right onto the stairs down is fantastic. Mr. White hauls ’em in under cover of darkness, and then we get to work until daybreak.

4:54 pm September, 30 Medusa Oblongata said...

But back to Woody….do you suppose he imagines scenarios, exchanges….fucking?

6:25 pm September, 30 Anonymous said...

*YAWN*

6:41 pm September, 30 george said...

woody woodpanel is actually 1/2 of the kleenex mafia

7:39 pm September, 30 Wedgie said...

ANON! FUCCEN WAKE UP!
DB1, you have just postulated Mayer’s theorem in the above equation. Nicely done, and proofed correctly as well. You win a cookie.

7:52 pm September, 30 Crucial Head said...

50 bucks says his batwing sweat smells like the rug after a NAMBLA convention.

7:56 pm September, 30 Crucial Head said...

In the gleam of the mark o’ the bag on his forehead, you can see the reflection of a narwhale fucking the shit out of minced meat pie.

7:57 pm September, 30 Crucial Head said...

And by “minced meat pie,” I would of course be referrencing Plinky’s mom’s naval.

8:01 pm September, 30 Mr. White said...

@BHD
The Room Rinse(tm) system we’ve put in there has also been a godsend. The whole playpen is like a giant, self-cleaning dishwasher.

8:10 pm September, 30 Wedgie said...

He’s on the phone to the male enhancement clinic; the girls are laughing because they just got a look at his peanut-like salumbwebwe.

8:21 pm September, 30 Nancy Dreuche said...

Thank you Chest Shave Reveal! You’ve saved me countless hours of pondering what lie beneath that circus tent inspired shirt. Now if only there was an upside down V cut at the bottom of the shirt to spare me wasted moments theorizing the plummage of this bag’s groinage. How about it science?

9:31 pm September, 30 G said...

Quality hotts in this pic…too bad there is a turd in the middle of them.

9:35 pm September, 30 Steve L. said...

i guess Mr. Stone Cold Badass likes to frequent woody night clubs to compensate for his lack of wood.

9:36 pm September, 30 Steve L. said...

even i have to slap myself on my forehead at the obvious corniness of the above line.

10:00 pm September, 30 Stephanie said...

So what you’re saying is there’s more wood on the walls than in his pants? That’s what I’m thinking.
He’s too sexy for his phone
He’s too sexy for two girlfriends.
He’s too sexy for his striped shirt.
He’s a pimp on the phone doing a deal or he wishes he was.

10:14 pm September, 30 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Woody makes a technical phone call to his manufacturer’s rep about that stainless dildo-with-the-spinning-black-tip’s malfunction, while the customers snuggle closer in expectation of the “problem solved” hours of fun ahead.

10:51 pm September, 30 Captain Scrote Sparrow said...

Hott to my left (his right) is his sister, she is upset that during his drunken douche-mastery he has once again pee’d the couch. Mom will be angry just like when he goes to the bathroom in his rain boots and wears them to the corner market.

11:00 pm September, 30 Captain Scrote Sparrow said...

Someone please shove an Altoid in his ant hill! I can smell the snake peel Axe clashing in my sinus cavity with that third and final installment of Dippety-Do gel for Tweens.

11:58 pm September, 30 Baleen said...

The only thing that could save this picture is a possible Holy Triangle reveal from right hott. Alas, no dice. Either that or the electric turd muddler on the table has AI and wants to deconstuct his lower spine after insertion.
.
Say it: “electric turd muddler”

1:07 am October, 1 Jacques Doucheteau said...
1:07 am October, 1 Jacques Doucheteau said...

link

3:40 am October, 1 Douchey Smurf said...

“WOODPANEL!!!!! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU BOY!!! WE HAVE ORDERS STACKING UP. JUMP INTO YOUR TRUCK AND GET BACK HERE!”

5:07 am October, 1 DoucheyWallnuts said...

These Euro-douches are all looking like Borat and becoming a self-parodying sub-genre of the douchebags.

5:44 am October, 1 The Goob the Bag and the Pudly said...

Those girls shouldn’t sit there in their nice cocktail dresses. There’s a nasty shitstain on that sofa.
.
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Oh, wait– my bad. that’s just Woody.

6:28 am October, 1 Eliza Douchecoo said...

I love visiting your site, it gives me boner.

6:48 am October, 1 Vegas Ass Kicker said...

This man here got mad game and yall talk yo shit. Losers. All yalls. Playas like we go to bed when yall losers is waken up. That’s how we do. High on da weed and drunk off da rum. Yall bitches know how well I am hung. Gotta get some sleep so I can get up and get ready to slang the dope and hit up the bitches. Eat that ass if yall don’t know. OUT!!! VEGAS THUGZ!!!

7:09 am October, 1 Deltus said...

Vegas Ass Dicker. I should have felt that disturbance in the Force when you were approaching.
.
Vegas Ass Dicker is SO in love with Woody Woodpanel, he gets real pissy when we dare mock his lover just like we were mocking himself.

7:10 am October, 1 Deltus said...

Vegas Ass Dicker is SO in love with Woody Woodpanel, he set his clipper length so his groin trim would be just like Woodrow’s head.

7:12 am October, 1 Deltus said...

Vegas Ass Muncher is SO in love with Woody Woodpanel, right after this pic he pimpslapped these two hotts for daring to touch his man.

7:41 am October, 1 Nancy Dreuche said...

Thanks for your To-DOuche List Vegas Ass Numb-er. Busting rhymes and nut at the same time is something us working class goons could only dream of. If we had time to dream, what with the workload and all.

9:12 am October, 1 anonymouse said...

Guy obviously has a thing for Jennifer Aniston.

9:23 am October, 1 douche bagel said...

its not him… thank jebus

11:32 am October, 1 tall guy said...

@ Et Tu Douche: (belated) thanks for your suggestion. Will check it out.

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