Saturday, October 2, 2010

Ask DB1: The Halloween Exemption


—–
DB1,

I’m normally a pretty conservative guy when I go out in the evenings, e.g. sport-shirts, blazers, dark jeans. But once a year I kind of let the douchebag flag fly.

That night is of course, Halloween.

Last year I was Zapp Brannigan (from Futurama), this year I plan on being Ivan Drago (from Rocky IV).

Generally, I think that guys who take their shirts off in any situation other than the comfort of their own home or in proximity to the beach or pool are raging douchebags. Yet here I am, planning to party in and around Los Angeles, shirtless, come the end of October. Is there an exception for Halloween?

Can one dress in a way that would be ostensibly douchy any other time of the year on Halloween and not be an utter pud?

-Freddy
—–

Absolutely, Freddy. Halloween is the one time a year I grant a full and complete nottadouche for all those ‘bagging it up as a form of satire and/or mock. Since hotties are allowed to slut it up with the same degree of shamelessness (and may Vishnu bless the sexy nurse outfit), it is a time of universal awareness of the tropes of performativity, and thus free from ‘bag status.

The last few years we’ve seen an incredible array of HCwDB Halloween inspired costumes in 2009 and also an amazing collection from 2008.

Sadly, those cherished past years of the HCwDB exclusivity on ‘bag mocking is gone. With the ubiquitous cultural success of The Jersey Shore, mocking ‘bags has become far less creative and engaging, and far more a mass produced, blandified and less creative cultural echo. That being said, mocking choads, whether by us or the larger culture, is always a welcome development overall. Still, this year’s Halloween won’t be as exclusive to the HCwDB community’s creative talents as in years past, alas.

# posted by douchebag1
12:21 pm October, 2 CBS said...

that’s the most incredible transformation from sweet women to street hooker. i wish all woman could do that once a year…on my birthday

12:25 pm October, 2 DarkSock said...

I think I’ll be a fuccen slaphoare for Halloween.

12:31 pm October, 2 soy bomb said...

I’m going as Buffalo Beast. Mocking silently as I “work the room” staring at mounds of mostly exposed titt-ayz and sausage-encased ass pear. Indeed, Halloween this year will be the best ever at Keiro Senior HealthCare.

12:31 pm October, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

We have to give him a pass whatever he is doing since he is “the” guy that bought DB1’s book. I keed.
As a stretch this year I am going out as a 45 year old father of 8 and 3 year girls. And by going out I mean staggering around a few blocks on tranquilizers and scotch.

12:33 pm October, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^old. Everclear punch again.

12:59 pm October, 2 The Dude said...

Normally, Halloween costumes are kinda ‘Shalloween’, but if I see someone dressed as Emo from Brazil, I’m gonna crap my pants and mail it in as proof!

1:11 pm October, 2 DarkSock said...

HCwDB followers should appreciate the occurrence at the 32 second mark of this trailer.

1:31 pm October, 2 The Dude said...

fishslap!! hahaha!

1:32 pm October, 2 Wheezer said...

I still think 2008’s Asian Sailorette is HoH material. Up Periscope!

1:53 pm October, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Dark Sock

We missed ye. I see our Canadian fags have seen the ubiquitous “I peed in a horse once”. I hate them. Jackass.

3:08 pm October, 2 Ed Hardouche said...

I dress up as a cow every Halloween. I have an udder with 4 teets. It’s the most action I get every year. For some reason, the ladies can’t stay away from hoses near a man’s crotch.

In any case, DB1, we all know the truth and preach the gospel as it should be: HCwDB is the original and best site out there for bag mockery. As your legions will agree, the philosophical brilliance and true movement started here.

Now I must go clean my teets from last years

3:18 pm October, 2 I R A Darth Aggie said...

So, on Halloween, I’m permitted to douche it up? can I use Hi, I’m a giant douchebag tonight, you should take me home hottie suckle thigh as my pickup line?

3:21 pm October, 2 Et Tu Douche? said...

Make sure when enjoying Halloween, you listen to one of thee best Halloween songs ever. “Goblin Girl” by Mr Frank Zappa

4:38 pm October, 2 UFO Destroyers said...

Pfah? Is that you and Mrs. Pfah?

5:42 pm October, 2 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Dressing up like a slab of porch beef has been the best Hallowe’en costume ever.
I may do it again.
And again.
And again…

8:23 pm October, 2 Flyteeth said...

FOR HALLOWOEEN I DRESS UP MY LIEK MYOWN BAD FUCCEN N SELF!

8:46 pm October, 2 Douchelips said...

I’m impressed by your understanding of the changing sociological norms. We must stay the course even if others try to adapt or subvert what we are doing.

10:24 pm October, 2 Wedgie said...

I’m going as a Valtrex tab this year. WTF; SoCal and thus socially relevant.

6:38 am October, 3 Wheezer said...

You mean…..they don’t go for the Goose these days?

Douchebag recipe

9:09 am October, 3 Captain Scrote Sparrow said...

He gets a pass… And she may get a pear nomination.

11:02 am October, 3 Steve L. said...

dressing up as Zapp Brannigan?!
you are brave, Freddy.

11:24 pm October, 3 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Just as MEDUSA reminded us that FLYTEETH was the poet of our times, I dare add that FLYTEETH is a born costume-party winner of our new century.

Fuccen deservedly so.

PRIZE: all the TARMAL-corn FLYTEETH can possibly eat, Crackerjack et al.

6:01 am October, 4 Deltus said...

Freddy, your woman’s looking kinda fine there!

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