Thursday, October 28, 2010

Average Mohawk Guy

What are some of the many leisure activities for Average Mohawk Guy when not busy hitting on Paid-to-Pose Curvy Hotts at trade fairs?

Why, he can:

Go tube rafting.

Go tube rafting and make the “Horns.”

Party with Bros and Average Sorority Girls.

Party with Bros and Average Sorority Girls and an Old Guy making the “Horns.”

# posted by douchebag1
10:43 am October, 28 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

Isn’t that Big Haas from Pawn Stars in the last pic?

10:44 am October, 28 Eliza Douchecoo said...

Me and my downstairs neighbor need to see more pics of the redhead that’s in a couple of those photos.

10:46 am October, 28 douche bagel said...

he’s like the multitool you get at the hardware store in the 1.99 bin. its no swiss army but it works for about three uses. then breaks

10:47 am October, 28 antwar said...

Big Hoss from Pawn Stars FTW

10:51 am October, 28 Deltus said...

Those aren’t Average Sorority Girls, boss. Average Sorority Girls are much hotter, and slutty, and have pillow fights and experimental sapphic sex with each other. Right? Right?!
.
Please don’t burst my bubble. My fabricated reality is all that keeps me going, some days.

10:51 am October, 28 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

Is that fat guy on the far left in the last pic mooning the camera and giving his buddy head simultaneously?

10:52 am October, 28 Captain Scrote Sparrow said...

I think she’s gonna end up with the “stinky finger” at the end of this episode of Mom vs. Wild.

11:09 am October, 28 Nancy Dreuche said...

Hahahaha, sorority girls. What college is this?! Jesse James University? What racist manifesto do I have to tattoo on my face to get in?

Average mohawk guy, just a tip, lose the bangs. It takes away from the edginess of the hawk.

11:16 am October, 28 The Goob the Bag and the Pudly said...

I’m not entirely sure that is a mohawk on his noggin– it kinda looks like a sparrow died and happened to fall right there, but he just hasn’t noticed yet, and the scary PTP semi-retired stripper doesn’t feel like mentioning it.

11:18 am October, 28 The Goob the Bag and the Pudly said...

Yep, those are definitely feathers, not hair.

11:21 am October, 28 Redouche-Reooze-Repsycho said...

That ‘do looks unintentional. Like he forgot to wipe the jizz off his palm before he ran his hand through his hair.
.
Is that a razor blade hanging around his neck? I hope he doesn’t trip and accidentally slit his own throat…
.
.
.
OK, I do hope he trips.

11:22 am October, 28 UFO Destroyers said...

The closest these Old Milwaukee-based life forms got to college was to deliver the cleaned rugs to the Admissions building just off the quad and pick up the dirty ones.

11:25 am October, 28 Wheezer said...

It’s easy for Average Mohawk Guy to find the time to have all that fun, living off his unemployment checks and such.

11:39 am October, 28 Tony Ventresca said...

Eliza @10:44, totally agree about that redhead, she reminds me of Riley Shy.

11:46 am October, 28 Mr. White said...

I agree with Nancy Dreuche: Something about the last two photos screams “Aryan Brotherhood.” Maybe it has something to do with all the prison-esque ink and wifebeaters. Old Guy, in particular, looks like one of the dudes on an A&E documentary about Neo Nazis. He should be next to a shack somewhere bellowing about race wars.

11:53 am October, 28 Et Tu Douche? said...

It’s odd but the glazed, vacuous look in AveMoGuys eyes is exactly how my soul is feeling after viewing these pictures.
.
Fat dude in last pic, farting on that chicks legs is not cool

12:01 pm October, 28 Eliza Douchecoo said...

The fat chick in the last pic, no not that fat chick the other one, no no the other one, damnit ok the one in the white wife beater in the center, look how small her hands are, my penis would look HUGE in her hands…well if it weren’t for the fact that it would be flaccid because she would be holding it that is.

12:05 pm October, 28 douchesquire said...

I don’t have a problem with him, and I vote to give him a pass. I also vote that the redhead proceed directly to a state of undress in my presence post haste. She is yummy.

12:09 pm October, 28 douche bagel said...

sans the redhead, that is one ugly ass group of turds

12:11 pm October, 28 Fatness said...

We need to send an elite team of ‘baghunters into that scene to rescue that redhead, and open the gates of Hell to swallow what remains.

12:16 pm October, 28 douche bagel said...

5 bucks says they’re at a truckers convention. thats miss ’09 he’s standing with and she’s the hottest one to date… which isn’t saying much but she can rebuild a tranny in a camaro

12:18 pm October, 28 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ Fatness: I couldn’t agree more. That right there is naughty cat-eyed, porcelain skinned yum yum right there. I shall rappel through the ceiling, dazzle her with my tattoos, offer her a free cross tattoo on the top of her foot, then abscond with her post haste. I shall neglect to mention that she only gets said tattoo after she engages in a three hour bubble bath with me.

12:21 pm October, 28 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

That last pic looks like it was possibly the Walmart – Johnson City, TN Christmas Party. And it should be posted on WTWHTC. (White trash with heavy tattooed chicks)

12:22 pm October, 28 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Average Mohawk guy has some average looking chin fung that makes me want to spew average vomit in my lap.
.
Besides, screw the PTP (hehe). I want to get to know attractive ’80s blond with the oversized Gucci bag standing partially obscured in the background. Rowr. Give me a higher resolution pic and zoom function you bastards!

12:23 pm October, 28 Vin Douchal said...

OldBag in the last photo is actually Sean Penn researching his latest role in the Timothy McVey bio-pic
.
To quote Jacques, “Fuck off and die you pus-filled cock cobbling inbred shit-for-brains sphincter wipe!”
.
You gotta go back and reread the recent posts, folks

12:23 pm October, 28 Jacques Doucheteau said...

@ douche bagel,
Stop it. Your gravatar keeps creeping me out.

12:25 pm October, 28 Jacques Doucheteau said...

@ Vin,
I had just got off the phone with my mom when I came up with “kicked in pig carcass vagina.”
.
Unrelated.

12:39 pm October, 28 Deltus said...

@Medusa: um, we can watch the bubble bath through closed-circuit tv, right?

12:51 pm October, 28 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Deltus: if Medusa says yes I’ll bring some chips & beverages

1:35 pm October, 28 Southern Scrotic said...

Just don’t bring Lite beer.

1:57 pm October, 28 soy bomb said...

Looks like a fun bunch…
.
.
.
.
…to poop on.

2:00 pm October, 28 Wedgie said...

Wow, I really like what they did with their walls in pic 3. Awesome and inspired decorating; sort of like living inside a brown egg.

2:34 pm October, 28 memphis doucheworkers local 421 said...

this guy is fucking extreme! his life is a mountain dew commercial

3:16 pm October, 28 Blinded by the Shite said...

@Jacques Doucheteau 12.22
.
Thought you were talking about the Golden Gal from Pic 3 for a minute there…

3:17 pm October, 28 Blinded by the Shite said...

To the post: what a waste of denim and hair product. Apart from the sassy red-head of course.

4:40 pm October, 28 average white guy said...

looks like a night fueled by freshly made meth, beer, and lynard skyard. dude in front in black looks like hes slow or done to much meth but they keep him around cause they feel sorry for him

6:11 pm October, 28 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Deys havin’ a whoopin’ good time. in spite of demselves. Douchebags and Hottie-Bleeths always do. But if I was a living descendant of the Mohicans, I’d sue every paddywhack wearing a Mohawk.

10:17 pm October, 28 Steve L. said...

Average Mohawk Guy reminds us that hott-filled frat parties are only a minority of all frat parties.
and for that, Average Mohawk Guy deserves a good mocking.
um yeah.

7:03 am October, 29 charlie sheen said...

this isnt a party with sorority girls they gotta to finishing school first. looks more like a party at the bunker on there compond,were they start each party with a reading from mein kampf and the anarchist cookbook followed by a night of trading stories of cooking meth and parties at the creek and getting with each others sisters and of coarse tattoos and mowhawks

7:45 am October, 29 meths ex said...

Soooooo funny for reasons you do not even know!!!

8:01 am October, 29 Mr. Biggs said...

Don’t encourage them to make their mohawks more ridiculous, please.

9:10 pm October, 29 Stephanie said...

You forgot average mohawk guy can go to the demo derby.

10:42 pm October, 31 audacity downlOad said...

hello

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