Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Breaking: Russell Brand and Whassername Marry


Some fellow ‘bag hunters have written in asking me to comment on uber-lame pseudo comedian narcissist Russell Brand’s marriage to pablum pop genericist Katy Perry.

I have little to add.

They are the product of the narcissistic swill lottery under cover of irony shield. Brand’s duplicitous self deprecation and Perry’s blank stare, each the latest Rorsharch mirror cut from the Britney cloth.

Comedic narcissism is still narcissism and the greatest pop musicians are never blank, issue free boobie carriers.

Neither are excused for bringing so little authenticity and art to the culture table. So go, Wannabe Sacha Baron Cohen and Dawson’s Creek Season Three replacement for Michelle Williams. Enjoy your exploitation of third world countries as a replacement for actual personality.

# posted by douchebag1
11:25 am October, 27 Wheezer said...

There is little any of us could add to the Boss’ post. Well said.

11:31 am October, 27 Wedgie said...

What a couple of dicks.

11:33 am October, 27 Deltus said...

I’ve never gotten Russell Brand. Like, at all. I have found more humor from Carrot Top, and that’s saying something.
.
She is generic and bland. But has a great rack and buttocks. Which is all I need from her.

11:35 am October, 27 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Uh, Boss…is that your equivalent of shoving wedding cake in their faces?
I thought so.

11:36 am October, 27 I R A Darth Aggie said...

What a couple of dicks.
.
What? Katy is a tranny hooker?

11:37 am October, 27 Merle Baggard said...

Get him to the greek was pretty good though.

11:51 am October, 27 Eliza Douchecoo said...

I used to think she was smokin hott until she started dating this dickweed. What exactly is he famous for? He’s not funny, never been funny.

11:53 am October, 27 Vin Douchal said...

“Get Me To The Greek” is not on my short list as anything that is going to have me look at Sean Combs for more than 1.2 seconds makes me red with rage. I’d like to knock his buck teeth right the fuck outta his mouth for being a no talent hack.
.
See you in the tabloids in about 7 months when you two are separated

11:53 am October, 27 Crucial Head said...

Funny, my two year old just grew out of those same jeans.

12:06 pm October, 27 Captain Scrote Sparrow said...

She is a great source of tits & ass… and he’s a tits ass .. nuff said

12:20 pm October, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I had another epiphany. But these people can fuck off and go to dinner with that dead fag Heath Ledger.

Does anybody remember laughter?

12:28 pm October, 27 Sir David Douchenborough said...

Her Majesty’s Kingdom, I am afraid, dropped the ball on this one by making this vacuous pseudo hipster popular. Brand though was fired from the BBC for some stupid behaviour.

His ascent into popularity is basically the Norman Conquest of poo.

12:53 pm October, 27 Nancy Dreuche said...

Her “music” makes my ears bleed. No joke. Much like those earworms that Kahn used in that one movie you guys all circle jerk to, her inane tunes get stuck in my head and the only relief is to drown them out with Kenny Loggins “Danger Zone”.

Brand does nothing for me. And since I’m not paying him to, I give him a pass.

I wish them many happy years of simultaneously annoying the shit out of eachother and the general public. Please get them their own show on MTV a la Carmen E and Dave and Jessica Simpson and 108 degrees on the block guy.

12:55 pm October, 27 smackdouche said...

Like so many things in our douche culture, he is famous because we are told “he is famous”. She is with him because she had to be edgy somehow.

1:01 pm October, 27 Fatness said...

Who?

1:03 pm October, 27 Tom Choad said...

I could have gotten her more “edge” cred than that lame crudnugget. I ask you all– what’s edgier than recording a hot, degenerate sex tape with a middle-aged married guy from Iowa?
.
.
OK, don’t answer that.

1:29 pm October, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

These two haven’t wound up on The Darwin Awards yet? I guess I’ll wait another 5 minutes. Hold on, no I won’t . Whi fuccen cares?

1:30 pm October, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Whi? Really you fuccen retard rumpplower? Let’s try Who instead.

1:59 pm October, 27 Redouche-Reooze-Repsycho said...

How about we agree not to post any more pics of Katy Perry if that pile of hipster poo is in it, ‘k?
.
.
If the Boss wants to indulge us with pics of her in various states of “wardrobe malfunction,” I’m good with it.

2:19 pm October, 27 collosus of choads said...

Gotta disagree.
Brand’s standup is funny, his movies…not so much.

3:06 pm October, 27 Mr. Biggs said...

DB1 gives Brand too much credit. I would like to take a step further. He is the posterboy for an undead industry which puts up a swinging cock as its notion of Truth. As such, his whole claim to fame is “I can put my dick in whatever and whoever I want and get away with it.” And so long as he can say it, he has a good living here in LA.

And Katy Perry is the reason we will have no more music in about five years. She’s hot, yes, but with the vacuous gaze of the undead. As a pawn of Hollywood it is only natural that she date Hollywood’s cock posterboy. Or, if I may coin the term, postercock.

3:14 pm October, 27 Your Mother said...

What the fuck is this? Now this site looks just like TMZ.com. You’re betterr than this DB1.

3:47 pm October, 27 Ludacris Axehandle McCockkwielder said...

Lol @ Your Mom knowing what’s on TMZ.com!!1!!!

7:07 pm October, 27 CBS said...

queerbait airwaves lookin like stink til toosday

8:07 pm October, 27 Wedgie said...

WTF is TMZ?

9:28 pm October, 27 mr.reeve said...

I hate him and I have no clue what she does, but I know she has boobies and he isn’t funny. Did I miss anything?

10:15 pm October, 27 Steve L. said...

Get Him to the… the…



how do you make “Greek” rhyme with “medieval torture room” or “gallows” or “guillotine” or “electrocution chair”?
.
damnit.

10:16 pm October, 27 Medusa Oblongata said...

Meh. Between her, Avril Lavigne, that Paramore chick, Miley Riley or whatever the fuck her name is, Lady Gaga and Kesha, the idea of the hot-ass female rocker (who actually ROCKED) died with the Wilson sisters.
.
@ Katy–Tits or GTFO. That’s better.

6:55 am October, 28 Deltus said...

@Medusa: thanks for sharing that topless Katy pic. See? Katy isn’t completely useless. She’s excellent fap material.

11:38 am October, 28 The Goob the Bag and the Pudly said...

@Medusa
Yes, but when it died with the Wilson sisters, it died a slow, agonizing, saccharine-pop-fueled death. Need I remind you of their “Comeback Era?” Ugh. Those albums retroactively stained everything that preceded them.

9:38 pm October, 28 josiebourne said...

Like many things in our rinse culture, he is famous because we are told, “he is famous.” With him because he somehow had to be edgy.
PaddyPower Bingo

4:57 am October, 29 Motorcycle Parts said...

I want and get away with it. "And so he can say he has a good life here in Los Angeles. And Katy Perry is why we have more music in five years.

6:30 pm October, 31 nike air force said...

You know how to balance writing and images/videos air max shoes . However, I cant get over how little you actually bring to light here. I think that everyones said the same thing that youve said over and over again.

7:30 pm November, 2 nike dunks said...

I get free mobile service with t-mobile because I refered 3 people to wow. nike dunks you post

10:36 pm November, 7 douche ex machina said...

Guess I’m just getting old. I don’t have time anymore to give these two or their relationship much though. Now back to making the perfect bowl of oatmeal.

Leave a Reply

What is 2 + 6 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)