Thursday, October 7, 2010

Caption This Pic


After her fifth shooter, Steve’s tattoo led him to bust out his favorite pickup line on Sophie, “Wanna see my jigsaw nuzzle?”

(Provide your preferred caption in the comments thread)

# posted by douchebag1
7:13 am October, 7 Wedgie said...

I love pumpkin pie!

7:14 am October, 7 Wedgie said...

Jigsaw pizzle.

7:16 am October, 7 DarkSock said...

Sophie was a sucker for Wigsaw puzzles.

7:17 am October, 7 Eliza Douchecoo said...

He looks to be a couple pieces short of a full puzzle.

7:19 am October, 7 Eliza Douchecoo said...

“you complete me” Steve whispered.

7:21 am October, 7 Eliza Douchecoo said...

This actually isn’t a tattoo, Steve was in a bizarre wood chipper accident and they literally had to piece his arm back together.

7:23 am October, 7 DarkSock said...

It took many dumpster dives behind the Mount Sanai Maternity ward, 73 discarded foreskins and a lot of painful sewing, but Steve was eventually able to restore all of the skin on his right arm he lost in his Hoover Dam skateboarding accident.

7:28 am October, 7 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

Up until the moment before he took his first bite, Sophie had no idea that Steve was spending far too much time watching douchey vampire movies or of the effect it had on his fragile mental state.

7:36 am October, 7 DarkSock said...

It took 8 Wellbutrin but Todd was eventually able to overcome his OCD cornflake tracing fetish to concentrate on erectile dysfunction instead.

7:37 am October, 7 CBS said...

He leaned in and stammered, “you’re the missing piece and i’m the missing link baby, we go together like poo and stink. heya..dont try to escape or i’ll bite your fucking cheek off bitch.

7:42 am October, 7 Mr. White said...

Steve suffered significant brain damage when WWE wrestler and jigsaw enthusiast “The Puzzler” shook him violently in an attempt to break apart the pieces.

7:43 am October, 7 retard said...

“If it weren’t for date rape, I’d never get laid”

7:46 am October, 7 smackdouche said...

Hey shawty, let me show you a little move I call the “Ted Bundy”.

7:48 am October, 7 abroham lincoln said...

“My puzzle is missing some pieces. Where do YOU fit in, girl?”

7:49 am October, 7 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Sophie soon realized Steve was not the piece missing from her life.

7:49 am October, 7 UFO Destroyers said...

Sophie’s Bad Choice.

7:51 am October, 7 Deltus said...

Sophie about to demonstrate a deadly wrist-breaking technique on Steve.

7:51 am October, 7 DarkSock said...

Steve leaned in to his unsuspecting victim, his sharpened incisors bared…He would soon have another addition to the Living Goiter Quilt growing on his arm.

7:52 am October, 7 UFO Destroyers said...

Even though the lass was almost perfectly camoflauged (?) in her surroundings, the Whizzler was able to track his prey by the smell of her lilac and blueberry muffin toots.

7:55 am October, 7 Horace Dangleballs said...

Babette fell victim to her worst nightmare… a Zombie Douchebag.

7:56 am October, 7 Eliza Douchecoo said...

@retard 7:43
Sublime baby, nice.

8:02 am October, 7 Condouchious said...

Steve leaned over and whispered “When it’s completed the puzzle will reveal a picture of me devouring a carrot…aaargghhh!!!!”

8:02 am October, 7 Mr. White said...

Fun fact: If you cut along all the lines and reassemble the pieces, you can change Steve into a boudoir portrait of Bea Arthur.

8:08 am October, 7 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

After becoming frustrated with a Penrose tiling problem, Steve asked the only other non-Asian stereotype in the room if he could have help with his math homework.

8:10 am October, 7 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Steve complimented Sophie on the softness of her skin before gnawing off some much needed pieces of her face to complete his right arm.

8:11 am October, 7 SonnyChibaChoad said...

“hold still, honey..I’ve got the leech in my teeth…okay, 1, 2, 3…”

8:12 am October, 7 DoucheyWallnuts said...

“I’m so glad you finally showed up. I’d go to pieces without you!”

8:12 am October, 7 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Steve Donner could no longer resist the urge to feed when the temperature of the club dropped below 71 degrees Fahrenheit.

8:12 am October, 7 Captain Scrote Sparrow said...

HELP! He just pee’d in my butt!!!

8:14 am October, 7 Captain Scrote Sparrow said...

“cocaine is a hell of a drug”

8:15 am October, 7 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Steve Dahmer continues the family tradition of of eating Szechuan Sophie while washing it down with his Bud Lite Lime.

8:16 am October, 7 DoucheyWallnuts said...

“If you don’t stop struggling to get away I am going to use this Taser I’m holding in my right hand.”

8:17 am October, 7 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Sophie knew Steve Gein was a little inexperienced when he said he wanted to eat her out.

8:17 am October, 7 DoucheyWallnuts said...

“You MUST help me finish coloring in my puzzle piece tattoo as I am right handed and I’m doing a terrible job with my left hand!”

8:18 am October, 7 I R A Darth Aggie said...

This Alien face-hugger was an embarrassment to his entire clan.

8:19 am October, 7 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Steve Gein knew that he could finish his lampshade project if Sophie would just hold still.

8:25 am October, 7 End the Haberdouchery said...

Steve was forced into a life of biting off human ears and selling them to medical labs so he could pay off the debt from the tattoo on his arm of 136 fornicating jellyfish.

8:26 am October, 7 Medusa Oblongata said...

“‘Scuse me, baby, I’m looking for a missing piece…..of ass!”

8:26 am October, 7 DoucheyWallnuts said...

“The way your orange shirt matches your orange skin makes me want to put you in a sleeper hold and get a partial jigsaw puzzle tattoo on my arm!”

8:27 am October, 7 FlipFriddle said...

“I’ll leave you alone if you give me $10 to get another puzzle piece colored in.”

8:30 am October, 7 Medusa Oblongata said...

Some little boys want to grow up to be Superman. Steve wanted to be The Enigma.

8:38 am October, 7 DoucheyWallnuts said...

“What are the chances of me finding the perfect guy who also has my favorite kind of tattoo on his arm! I’m the luckiest girl in the world!”

8:38 am October, 7 Medusa Oblongata said...

I find Sasha’s taste in men rather puzzling.

8:39 am October, 7 system of douche said...

The young couple was oblivious as one of the Hungarian sludge female mutant life forms strapped on a dildo and began butt fuckk the other. The house music drowned out the squeals of rapture.

8:41 am October, 7 Medusa Oblongata said...

Sophie. Whatever.
.
Steve showed Sophie his signature wrestling move: The “Jigsaw Nuzzle”.

8:43 am October, 7 system of douche said...

@8:39: forgot the “to”, nimrod.

8:46 am October, 7 system of douche said...

Note to Steve:

If your cap is on backwards you better be doing one of two things: fighting, or eating pussy. I don’t see either happening here.

Carry on.

8:54 am October, 7 Medusa Oblongata said...

8:41–Medusa, you stupid fuck. DB1, I apologize, DB1, I totally misread your post and I thought you said “puzzle”. I didn’t even get it. Derp. I just finished a cup of coffee and now my eyes are focused….

8:55 am October, 7 Conan said...

Audible sigh……Son of a bitch! This is going to end up on the internet

9:13 am October, 7 Wedgie said...

Eliza D @ 7:19
Best in Show

9:26 am October, 7 Mr. White said...

Damn it, Doc Bunsen did the tiling joke. Why didn’t I bust that out?
.
Fine, I’ll do another math joke, for the amusement of…nobody other than me and Doc Bunsen:
.
Sophie listened in wonderment as Steve whispered a proof of the four-color theorem in her ear, complete with a visual aid.

10:00 am October, 7 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Mr. White ^
.
Sorry about that but I couldn’t resist. You made up for it in spades with the four-color theorem though.
.
Steve remained puzzled by Sophie’s Choice of wearing the Eau De Bacon perfume.

10:08 am October, 7 CBS said...

if you guys are reading this. check out the first three chapters of my book…its on deviantArt. my user name is massifesto

the greatest mockers in the world at my disposal, surely i can get some valuable feedback…or get mocked :SSS

10:11 am October, 7 The Goob the Bag and the Pudly said...

Jigsaw Pud-zle.

10:11 am October, 7 Douchey Smurf said...

You should see the small piece that he has on his small piece.

10:12 am October, 7 The Goob the Bag and the Pudly said...

I learned this choke-hold when I was in jail. Never been on this side of it, though.

10:39 am October, 7 Tom Choad said...

“Orange you going to check out the rest of my bitchin’ tattoo?”
.
Or:
.
“Piece out, baby!”

10:52 am October, 7 Nancy Dreuche said...

While Steve’s first victim (giant real doll Elmo) lay motionless in the background, he proceeds to try it for realsies with his next victim, Sophie, a real doll of a gal.

Side note: Next time get an Etch-a-Sketch tattoo’d on your arm Steve. That way you can shake erase it when you realize how lame it is.

11:03 am October, 7 douche bagel said...

one of marvel comics character rejects “the puzzler”

11:20 am October, 7 Condouchious said...

Like Ray Bradbury’s “The Illustrated Man” Steve’s tattoos come alive and tell a tale to sweet Sophie, a tale where a tattooed idiot gives a girl herpes.

3:28 pm October, 7 bigredmonkeybutt said...

I know we are brother and sister, but we can still have fun

9:27 pm October, 7 Stephanie said...

Somethings just never fit together right, this is one of them.

Wait isn’t there a puzzle piece logo that’s shaped for autistic people? It’s called “Autism Speaks”. Well…you form your own comment.

1:04 am October, 8 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Steve, holding the missing piece to the puzzle of “WHY, OOMPA -LOOMPAS?” experiences the gravitation effect of the female version take hold.

1:15 am October, 8 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Steve carefully drew the exact tatt pattern on his arm that he wanted his tatt artist to use on his cock: jigsaw puzzle when fully erect, fishnet when flaccid, and goldfish scales when taut in the cold water of the surf or swimming pool.

5:28 pm October, 8 Steve L. said...

barb wire scars from prison escapes are now badges of honor to club bleeths.

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