Friday, October 8, 2010
Friday Haiku
A ‘stache, a bourbon,
A young girl’s buttocks fondled,
By Snidely Liprash.
One has to think she
Could do better than the lost
Mario Brother.
— The Goob the Bag and the Pudly
Boris Bagenov
goes home alone; smells like moose,
hung like a squirrel.
— Wheezer
Ripe chestnuts tainted,
Jesus bling and Ron Burgundy,
Tom Selleck only weeps.
— Scroto Baggins
Mina grinds her teeth
Fatty Rollie Fingers Gropes
Humanity Weeps
— THEONETRUEDOUCHE
Salvador Dali’s
Grandson, “Vic” chews through beaver
Just like it was wood
— saulgoode42
Jimmy Hoffa’s Grave
Not in Crimson Hott’s Cleavage
Back off Geraldouche!
— dknutty
you do not pass go
instead directly to jail
Monopoly man
— paperorplastic
Boris, Natasha
leave “moose and squirrel” behind
for night on the town.
Fresh out of prison
for touching little boys junk
tries Tanya’s junk in the trunk
Edgar passes the time
Listening to her crap
Roofies don’t kick in right away
One has to think she
Could do better than the lost
Mario Brother.
Boris Bagenov
tries to seduce Natasha
with drinks, but he’ll bomb.
If you’re offering
Mustache rides: handlebars help.
She’s looking fierce. Boobs.
Boris Bagenov
goes home alone; smells like moose,
hung like a squirrel.
.
.
.
.
.
(OK, maybe I’ve tapped the “Rocky/Bullwinkle” well once too often.)
Hey Eliza D
Haikus go 5, 7, 5
Syllables per line
Hall of Hott wowsers!
That isa suma spicy
meatball What a pose!
Mustache fools no one;
It’s you, Rosie O’Donnell.
Leave the Hott alone.
Rollie Fingers’ kid
pitches shutout…..at himself:
won’t control her mound.
Ripe chestnuts tainted,
Jesus bling and Ron Burgundy,
Tom Selleck only weeps.
Brian O’Halloran
Is macking on boobie hott
Dante has gone choad
My gawd, she’s sexy!
I’d tolerate gum-poppin’
to motorboat boobs
Ripe chestnuts tainted,
Jesus bling Ron Burgundy,
Tom Sellleck only weeps.
Mina grinds her teeth
Fatty Rollie Fingers Gropes
Humanity Weeps
Leopard ripped her jeans
But the Hott got the last laugh,
Killed it and made bra
Such disparity
Offends all that is holy:
Oh God, kill me now.
Scroto needs trash can…..
Simply switch ‘only’ with ‘just’
and you will be fine. : )
That girl is too hott
To be in proximity
To such a douchebag!
“GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR” says Hott Alli.
Since GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR is one syllable,
world’s longest Haiku!!
Sultry Leandra,
needing an ‘A,’ dates her perv
History TA.
Magnificent tits
Contained by zebra bra
Beg to be let out
Classics never die–
Like handlebar moustaches.
However, he should.
Catfish Hunter ‘Bag,
I promise you will not be
closing out this one
Can Douche Boy use this
Pic for Sex Offender List
Hottie just says GRRRR
Ripe chestnuts tainted,
Jesus bling and Ron Burgundy,
Tom Selleck just weeps.
Cheers, still feeling that 26 of Forty Creek. I recommend it by the way! http://www.fortycreekwhisky.com
She was shocked to learn
Uncle Henry’s pockets had
no “roll of quarters.”
A melodrama
Damsel beckons my white horse
I chain choad to tracks
Double cross neck bling
Sorry but God won’t shield you
from the DB1
Curses, says Snidely
I don’t have a chance in hell
Looks like self service
Red mounds of glory,
leopard bra, and torn jeans make
writing Hard for me.
Salvador Dali’s
Grandson, “Vic” chews through beaver
Just like it was wood
Olga grits her teeth
Why is this creep on my ass
Jeans will be burned
men with beady-eyes,
should be banned from “Movember”,
snarly chick has boobs.
Baby-faced douchebag
grows stache to avert carding.
Needs to grow new face.
RetroDouche fondles
Young Bleeth just got braces off
Dad will kick his ass
Cripes, is that thing real?
Took Chester 3 months to grow.
He will Nair it off.
.
Gina grimaces.
Chester’s copping feels again.
Restrain’ order failed.
.
.
-Amerigo Vesdouchey
Earwax repels bugs
Mustache wax repels hotties
Wax on, Wax off, douche
Takes wax from earholes
Applies to mustache, twirls ends
Salvadore Douch-e
It’s Vern from I.T.
Puts moves on receptionist
She’s into fatties
Maynard spends bonus
Hey, why Own when you can Rent?
Coke did this to her…
His gigantic head
Needs to rest against something
Might as well use hott
Chemist Gurn Blanston,
Inventor of Rohypnol,
Doing some field work…
John Wayne Gacy Jr,
must have great sense of humour,
to pull McSnarlesworth.
Her wide shallow vag
Pines for Lennie’s unique junk;
That egg-dicked fuccer…
Dating school teachers
Became his perfect cover
For school yard access.
She melts wax, spreads on
Two quick pulls and lips are smooth
Mitchell’s stache is next
Jimmy Hoffa’s Grave
Not in Crimson Hott’s Cleavage
Back off Geraldouche!
Lisa loves Edgar;
Her living sausage golem;
Her porcine dildo.
Question: “How much meth
“Would it take to get this babe?”
Only ‘Stache Boy knows
Once roofies wear off,
Vikki will know her error:
he’s a creep, she’s toast.
I dub his mustache
“Fellatio Handlebars”;
That’s not wax on them.
What is his secret?
Gots mo’ coke than Atlanta;
White Boogers o’ Shame.
His next pickup line,
“Wanna see my comic books?”
ended date quickly.
you do not pass go
instead directly to jail
Monoploy man
He can hardly wait
To tuck her in for her nap
In visqueen and lime.
you do not pass go
instead directly to jail
Monopoly man
(that’s better!)
When they hit the club
There were three musketeers, but
Josh ate the other two
His wrist shows conquest
Left hand finger bang during
A raging red tide
Y’know, I’m starting
To like this gal’s snarl-y look
Bet that’s her fuck face
Hottie Monica
must be blind as a bat, so
I hope faildar works.
Toothpaste commercial
In Soviet Russia: teeth
Are gonna brush you
Push up bra at work
Stach rides for all the ladies
Billy looks like a fat Freddy Mercury
Bleeth holding back fart
Stomach pain causing grimace
He won’t be smiling soon
Billy thought he looked old school
Sandra thought he had some money
Both are giant club turds
Small Penis revealed by
Fat Cubby Sausage Fingers
Mina cries later
Sandra stuck out her booty
Billy waxed up his stach
I say Billy loves cockk
His look co-opted
The Stash Bagger contemplates
Adding suspenders
Young Rip Taylor creeps
Out of nowhere he pounces
Grimace does the hott
Corporate mixer:
young mailroom hott hit on by
overzealous lead.
.
Doesn’t want his “raise,”
but tough economy leaves her
in bad spot. She fumes.
Sex offender stache
lurches for hott in the night
Call 911 now!
“Economy” – gah!
That’s 4 syllables, douchewank!
I must learn to count.
It’s Blaise and Gina
Mis-matched romantic couple
H.R. guy frowning
She can be my Nell
I’ll be her Dudley Doright
And We’ll play “Mountie”
I sneer, I pose. Get
Your hands off of me. You damn
Dirty Ape. Ape. Ape?
Too late.
Salvadore Douch-e
Inspired by his penis
Paints droopy pictures
Hey Haiku Nazi
That’s way too much thinking for
a dumb scrote like me
Stache caught in earing
Chester followed Kate all night
Kate never noticed
Jesus bling and stache
Rocks bracelet and six pound watch
Looks like someones dad
She is a hot slut.
He is an assclown. They don’t
Qualify for douche.
Barbershop Quartet
Macks the groupie like pedofile
Ankle bracelet please
http://www.blogdelossimpson.com.ar/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/yes-guy.jpg
this guy, this guy. it’s
definitely this guy and
that is damn scary
Grecian Formula:
roofies, drinks, and Make-a-Wish.
China’s bailout worked!
She’d sluttishly hot. He’s douchily not…
Gawd I am crying today’s haiku’s are so beautiful.
Men’s hair gell sticks to
feminine hair spray products.
Douche Glue has been born.
Sorry I like this guy
@Merle Baggard^
.
What’s not to like? He could be anyone of us.
[twirls mustache absentmindedly]
Growing an evil
Moustache does not make you cool.
Just an evil douche.
Somehow I think she’s
Really his own daughter.
Incestuous douche!
I would motorboat
Those perky boobs, and then
Rip off rest of jeans.
Snidely Whiplash’s
Deeply closeted brother
Renaldo Whiplash.
Gina Gershon Hott
grabs unworthy and sneers at
Loathsome Patriarch
Missed Haiku again!!!
Balls. I had a real good laugh
at John Wayne Gacy.
Not to be outdone
by mustache, Faye flashes her
sparkly whites. Mouths rule!
Faye’s little man on
her upper thigh attracts Fred’s
little head nearby.
“If he thinks his mus-
tache is cut right, he should see
my new landing strip.”
Faye likes the youthful
Hemingway look on her man,
and Cuba Libres!
It’s so retro to
make like Orson Welles, but she’s
no Rita Hayworth.
Tammy has action
star looks, but has never shot
a gun before. sad.
Would she
back into mine
so fierce?
Brunettes commingle
He’s happy, she’s paid to grit
teeth through moustache ride
her sexy pout
is giving me a boner
mustache makes it soft