Friday, October 8, 2010

Friday Haiku

A ‘stache, a bourbon,
A young girl’s buttocks fondled,
By Snidely Liprash.

One has to think she
Could do better than the lost
Mario Brother.

— The Goob the Bag and the Pudly

Boris Bagenov
goes home alone; smells like moose,
hung like a squirrel.

— Wheezer

Ripe chestnuts tainted,
Jesus bling and Ron Burgundy,
Tom Selleck only weeps.

— Scroto Baggins

Mina grinds her teeth
Fatty Rollie Fingers Gropes
Humanity Weeps

— THEONETRUEDOUCHE

Salvador Dali’s
Grandson, “Vic” chews through beaver
Just like it was wood

— saulgoode42

Jimmy Hoffa’s Grave
Not in Crimson Hott’s Cleavage
Back off Geraldouche!

— dknutty

you do not pass go
instead directly to jail
Monopoly man

— paperorplastic

# posted by douchebag1
6:59 am October, 8 Wheezer said...

Boris, Natasha
leave “moose and squirrel” behind
for night on the town.

7:01 am October, 8 Eliza Douchecoo said...

Fresh out of prison
for touching little boys junk
tries Tanya’s junk in the trunk

7:03 am October, 8 Eliza Douchecoo said...

Edgar passes the time
Listening to her crap
Roofies don’t kick in right away

7:03 am October, 8 The Goob the Bag and the Pudly said...

One has to think she
Could do better than the lost
Mario Brother.

7:04 am October, 8 Wheezer said...

Boris Bagenov
tries to seduce Natasha
with drinks, but he’ll bomb.

7:04 am October, 8 massengill said...

If you’re offering
Mustache rides: handlebars help.
She’s looking fierce. Boobs.

7:05 am October, 8 Wheezer said...

Boris Bagenov
goes home alone; smells like moose,
hung like a squirrel.
.
.
.
.
.
(OK, maybe I’ve tapped the “Rocky/Bullwinkle” well once too often.)

7:06 am October, 8 Haiku Nazi said...

Hey Eliza D
Haikus go 5, 7, 5
Syllables per line

7:07 am October, 8 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Hall of Hott wowsers!
That isa suma spicy
meatball What a pose!

7:08 am October, 8 DarkSock said...

Mustache fools no one;
It’s you, Rosie O’Donnell.
Leave the Hott alone.

7:08 am October, 8 Wheezer said...

Rollie Fingers’ kid
pitches shutout…..at himself:
won’t control her mound.

7:09 am October, 8 Scroto Baggins said...

Ripe chestnuts tainted,
Jesus bling and Ron Burgundy,
Tom Selleck only weeps.

7:09 am October, 8 Deltus said...

Brian O’Halloran
Is macking on boobie hott
Dante has gone choad

7:11 am October, 8 Wheezer said...

My gawd, she’s sexy!
I’d tolerate gum-poppin’
to motorboat boobs

7:11 am October, 8 Scroto Baggins said...

Ripe chestnuts tainted,
Jesus bling Ron Burgundy,
Tom Sellleck only weeps.

7:12 am October, 8 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

Mina grinds her teeth
Fatty Rollie Fingers Gropes
Humanity Weeps

7:13 am October, 8 the douche is alright said...

Leopard ripped her jeans
But the Hott got the last laugh,
Killed it and made bra

7:13 am October, 8 Jeff Reed Towel Dispenser said...

Such disparity
Offends all that is holy:
Oh God, kill me now.

7:13 am October, 8 Wheezer said...

Scroto needs trash can…..
Simply switch ‘only’ with ‘just’
and you will be fine. : )

7:14 am October, 8 The Goob the Bag and the Pudly said...

That girl is too hott
To be in proximity
To such a douchebag!

7:15 am October, 8 the douche is alright said...

“GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR” says Hott Alli.
Since GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR is one syllable,
world’s longest Haiku!!

7:15 am October, 8 Wheezer said...

Sultry Leandra,
needing an ‘A,’ dates her perv
History TA.

7:16 am October, 8 system of douche said...

Magnificent tits
Contained by zebra bra
Beg to be let out

7:16 am October, 8 The Goob the Bag and the Pudly said...

Classics never die–
Like handlebar moustaches.
However, he should.

7:17 am October, 8 the douche is alright said...

Catfish Hunter ‘Bag,
I promise you will not be
closing out this one

7:17 am October, 8 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

Can Douche Boy use this
Pic for Sex Offender List
Hottie just says GRRRR

7:18 am October, 8 Scroto Baggins said...

Ripe chestnuts tainted,
Jesus bling and Ron Burgundy,
Tom Selleck just weeps.

Cheers, still feeling that 26 of Forty Creek. I recommend it by the way! http://www.fortycreekwhisky.com

7:19 am October, 8 Wheezer said...

She was shocked to learn
Uncle Henry’s pockets had
no “roll of quarters.”

7:19 am October, 8 Count douchekevich said...

A melodrama
Damsel beckons my white horse
I chain choad to tracks

7:19 am October, 8 the douche is alright said...

Double cross neck bling
Sorry but God won’t shield you
from the DB1

7:20 am October, 8 system of douche said...

Curses, says Snidely
I don’t have a chance in hell
Looks like self service

7:21 am October, 8 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Red mounds of glory,
leopard bra, and torn jeans make
writing Hard for me.

7:24 am October, 8 saulgoode42 said...

Salvador Dali’s
Grandson, “Vic” chews through beaver
Just like it was wood

7:24 am October, 8 system of douche said...

Olga grits her teeth
Why is this creep on my ass
Jeans will be burned

7:25 am October, 8 Colossus of Choads said...

men with beady-eyes,
should be banned from “Movember”,
snarly chick has boobs.

7:25 am October, 8 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Baby-faced douchebag
grows stache to avert carding.
Needs to grow new face.

7:26 am October, 8 Vin Douchal said...

RetroDouche fondles
Young Bleeth just got braces off
Dad will kick his ass

7:27 am October, 8 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

Cripes, is that thing real?
Took Chester 3 months to grow.
He will Nair it off.
.
Gina grimaces.
Chester’s copping feels again.
Restrain’ order failed.
.
.
-Amerigo Vesdouchey

7:28 am October, 8 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Earwax repels bugs
Mustache wax repels hotties
Wax on, Wax off, douche

7:29 am October, 8 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Takes wax from earholes
Applies to mustache, twirls ends
Salvadore Douch-e

7:30 am October, 8 Vin Douchal said...

It’s Vern from I.T.
Puts moves on receptionist
She’s into fatties

7:31 am October, 8 DarkSock said...

Maynard spends bonus
Hey, why Own when you can Rent?
Coke did this to her…

7:31 am October, 8 Vin Douchal said...

His gigantic head
Needs to rest against something
Might as well use hott

7:33 am October, 8 DarkSock said...

Chemist Gurn Blanston,
Inventor of Rohypnol,
Doing some field work…

7:34 am October, 8 Colossus of Choads said...

John Wayne Gacy Jr,
must have great sense of humour,
to pull McSnarlesworth.

7:34 am October, 8 DarkSock said...

Her wide shallow vag
Pines for Lennie’s unique junk;
That egg-dicked fuccer…

7:35 am October, 8 DarkSock said...

Dating school teachers
Became his perfect cover
For school yard access.

7:36 am October, 8 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

She melts wax, spreads on
Two quick pulls and lips are smooth
Mitchell’s stache is next

7:37 am October, 8 dknutty said...

Jimmy Hoffa’s Grave
Not in Crimson Hott’s Cleavage
Back off Geraldouche!

7:37 am October, 8 DarkSock said...

Lisa loves Edgar;
Her living sausage golem;
Her porcine dildo.

7:38 am October, 8 Vin Douchal said...

Question: “How much meth
“Would it take to get this babe?”
Only ‘Stache Boy knows

7:38 am October, 8 Wheezer said...

Once roofies wear off,
Vikki will know her error:
he’s a creep, she’s toast.

7:38 am October, 8 DarkSock said...

I dub his mustache
“Fellatio Handlebars”;
That’s not wax on them.

7:39 am October, 8 DarkSock said...

What is his secret?
Gots mo’ coke than Atlanta;
White Boogers o’ Shame.

7:40 am October, 8 Wheezer said...

His next pickup line,
“Wanna see my comic books?”
ended date quickly.

7:40 am October, 8 paperorplastic said...

you do not pass go
instead directly to jail
Monoploy man

7:40 am October, 8 DarkSock said...

He can hardly wait
To tuck her in for her nap
In visqueen and lime.

7:41 am October, 8 paperorplastic said...

you do not pass go
instead directly to jail
Monopoly man

(that’s better!)

7:43 am October, 8 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

When they hit the club
There were three musketeers, but
Josh ate the other two

7:43 am October, 8 Vin Douchal said...

His wrist shows conquest
Left hand finger bang during
A raging red tide

7:45 am October, 8 Vin Douchal said...

Y’know, I’m starting
To like this gal’s snarl-y look
Bet that’s her fuck face

7:47 am October, 8 Wheezer said...

Hottie Monica
must be blind as a bat, so
I hope faildar works.

7:48 am October, 8 saulgoode42 said...

Toothpaste commercial
In Soviet Russia: teeth
Are gonna brush you

7:48 am October, 8 Sack O Douche said...

Push up bra at work
Stach rides for all the ladies
Billy looks like a fat Freddy Mercury

7:49 am October, 8 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Bleeth holding back fart
Stomach pain causing grimace
He won’t be smiling soon

7:49 am October, 8 Sack O Douche said...

Billy thought he looked old school
Sandra thought he had some money
Both are giant club turds

7:50 am October, 8 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

Small Penis revealed by
Fat Cubby Sausage Fingers
Mina cries later

7:50 am October, 8 Sack O Douche said...

Sandra stuck out her booty
Billy waxed up his stach
I say Billy loves cockk

7:50 am October, 8 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

His look co-opted
The Stash Bagger contemplates
Adding suspenders

7:51 am October, 8 Battlescrote Galactica said...

Young Rip Taylor creeps
Out of nowhere he pounces
Grimace does the hott

7:52 am October, 8 Wheezer said...

Corporate mixer:
young mailroom hott hit on by
overzealous lead.
.
Doesn’t want his “raise,”
but tough economy leaves her
in bad spot. She fumes.

7:52 am October, 8 Battlescrote Galactica said...

Sex offender stache
lurches for hott in the night
Call 911 now!

7:53 am October, 8 Wheezer said...

“Economy” – gah!
That’s 4 syllables, douchewank!
I must learn to count.

7:53 am October, 8 Vin Douchal said...

It’s Blaise and Gina
Mis-matched romantic couple
H.R. guy frowning

7:54 am October, 8 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

She can be my Nell
I’ll be her Dudley Doright
And We’ll play “Mountie”

7:54 am October, 8 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I sneer, I pose. Get
Your hands off of me. You damn
Dirty Ape. Ape. Ape?

Too late.

7:57 am October, 8 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Salvadore Douch-e
Inspired by his penis
Paints droopy pictures

7:58 am October, 8 Eliza Douchecoo said...

Hey Haiku Nazi
That’s way too much thinking for
a dumb scrote like me

7:58 am October, 8 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Stache caught in earing
Chester followed Kate all night
Kate never noticed

7:59 am October, 8 Battlescrote Galactica said...

Jesus bling and stache
Rocks bracelet and six pound watch
Looks like someones dad

7:59 am October, 8 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

She is a hot slut.
He is an assclown. They don’t
Qualify for douche.

8:02 am October, 8 Battlescrote Galactica said...

Barbershop Quartet
Macks the groupie like pedofile
Ankle bracelet please

8:06 am October, 8 CBS said...

http://www.blogdelossimpson.com.ar/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/yes-guy.jpg

this guy, this guy. it’s
definitely this guy and
that is damn scary

8:12 am October, 8 Wheezer said...

Grecian Formula:
roofies, drinks, and Make-a-Wish.
China’s bailout worked!

8:19 am October, 8 tall guy said...

She’d sluttishly hot. He’s douchily not…

8:35 am October, 8 Claude Douchenburg said...

Gawd I am crying today’s haiku’s are so beautiful.

8:40 am October, 8 Claude Douchenburg said...

Men’s hair gell sticks to
feminine hair spray products.
Douche Glue has been born.

10:01 am October, 8 Merle Baggard said...

Sorry I like this guy

10:07 am October, 8 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@Merle Baggard^
.
What’s not to like? He could be anyone of us.
[twirls mustache absentmindedly]

10:21 am October, 8 Tom Choad said...

Growing an evil
Moustache does not make you cool.
Just an evil douche.

10:23 am October, 8 Tom Choad said...

Somehow I think she’s
Really his own daughter.
Incestuous douche!

10:26 am October, 8 Tom Choad said...

I would motorboat
Those perky boobs, and then
Rip off rest of jeans.

10:27 am October, 8 skrag2112 said...

Snidely Whiplash’s
Deeply closeted brother
Renaldo Whiplash.

11:50 am October, 8 Khmer Rube said...

Gina Gershon Hott
grabs unworthy and sneers at
Loathsome Patriarch

12:42 pm October, 8 Medusa Oblongata said...

Missed Haiku again!!!
Balls. I had a real good laugh
at John Wayne Gacy.

2:42 pm October, 8 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Not to be outdone
by mustache, Faye flashes her
sparkly whites. Mouths rule!

2:45 pm October, 8 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Faye’s little man on
her upper thigh attracts Fred’s
little head nearby.

2:49 pm October, 8 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

“If he thinks his mus-
tache is cut right, he should see
my new landing strip.”

2:55 pm October, 8 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Faye likes the youthful
Hemingway look on her man,
and Cuba Libres!

2:58 pm October, 8 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

It’s so retro to
make like Orson Welles, but she’s
no Rita Hayworth.

5:09 pm October, 8 Steve L. said...

Tammy has action
star looks, but has never shot
a gun before. sad.

9:50 pm October, 8 Elwood Blues said...

Would she
back into mine
so fierce?

12:27 pm October, 9 Choadthedouchesprocket said...

Brunettes commingle
He’s happy, she’s paid to grit
teeth through moustache ride

10:20 pm October, 10 Father Guido Sardouchey said...

her sexy pout
is giving me a boner
mustache makes it soft

Leave a Reply

What is 11 + 7 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)