Friday Haiku
Pap Pap’s Lil’ Girl,
Chooses life of selling pear,
To Sleazy Ryder.
Eyes Wide Shut Hott finds
Guy more douchey than Tom Cruise:
Mission Possible.
— Jeff Reed Towel Dispenser
Two more months stripping
Will have enough saved up to
Finish glute implants
— Vin Douchal
Barry drops 2 Large
For the chance to pose with Hott
Two months Kmart pay!!
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Did Pap Pap tap tap?
She makes me wanna fap fap;
safer than clap clap.
— Wheezer
Pap Pap’s Salty Tears
Can’t Wash Away Stench Of Her
Mom and Dad’s Failure
— MC 900 Foot Douchebag
Winter is looming.
Business not booming. John
Boy saves for his tatt.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
“Grunge is still valid!”
Insists flannel-wearing choad
Gosh it’s hot in here.
— Douche Wayne
When your forearm tatt
Is how you identify
Your life is empty
— Mr. Scrotato Head
Pap Pap’s Lil’ Girl,
makes me want to pop, pop in
my lil’ drawers!
Pap Smear’s little bleeth?
Raquel Welch did it tatt-free;
clothes-free works as well.
Eyes Wide Shut Hott finds
Guy more douchey than Tom Cruise:
Mission Possible.
Bitch Ryder, ‘Troit Heel
Douchebag with a sleeve tatt on,
hairline receding.
Her mask is not ’nuff
to block his emanating
choad. Get Welders hat!
Fenton loses mind.
Would not any of us help.
Dark Sock press button.
Pap Pap has black tat.
Cover with duct tape, insert.
Spoogify quickly.
Sevilla Nightclub
looks like an off-ramp to the
Grieco Virus home
Two more months stripping
Will have enough saved up to
Finish glute implants
Barry drops 2 Large
For the chance to pose with Hott
Two months Kmart pay!!
Pronounce that for me…..
Seh-vee-ah or Seh-vil-la?
Still three syllables.
Douche tatt say Ryder.
Really must mean Winona.
Not the big fat one.
Ryder parks semi
Crashes masquerade party
No costume needed
Looking at her tatt
Daddy started crying hard
and I was hard too
That’s a negative,
Compost Ryder – the pattern
is full; hairline not.
Tranquilizer dart
HIts target right below mouth
Happy coma, Ry !
With one quick rabbit punch
Jake helps Sonja lose her lunch
We don’t need his help
Did Pap Pap tap tap?
She makes me wanna fap fap;
safer than clap clap.
Jesse James Bieber…
Sevilla is a gay bar.
Lil Girl needs Pap smear.
Donna did not pay
At “Bring Choad Get In Free Night”
Then ignores Ryder
Making Daddy proud
Debbie does Sevilla club…
like the ENTIRE club!
Pap Pap pops pain pills
Points at prodigal pooter
Puts pistol to pate
Calling it “Mansion”
doth not Hef’s home this make; it’s
just a shit nightclub.
Winter is looming.
Business not booming. John
Boy saves for his tatt.
Pap Pap’s Lil Girl
Pleads with Tattooed Kidnapper
I’m not Winona!
Ignernt Fontanan
Still drunk at Cali Speedway
Race was last week , Dick
Her vajayjay smells
too much like Wheat Thins and beer
spray Febreze then munch
Sevilla Night Club
Sponsored by Charles Mansion
Taint Fam’ Massacre
She’s pretty slutty.
I like that in a slut. She likes
It up her pooty.
That tattoo looks like
it’s seen it’s fair share of
rapid fire fun spray
If he shaved face fung
and covered that fuccen arm,
he might look OK.
When taking photos
His left side is his good side
His right arm says “Bone”
Eyes Wide Shut was cool
But so was ‘Ass Cracked Open’
Judy needs to puke
His tatt says “Adder”.
Her tatt says Pap Pap’s Lil’ Girl
Neither tells the truth.
U hatters all suckk
y u jealus of guy hu
gets some? lol
That was my attempt
to post in IM douche-speak.
I will retire it.
She is not little
He can’t add one plus twenty
She’ll blow for hunski.
Lil’ Girl sees fist
Likes pain? Yo White! Medusa!
New one for playpen.
Ryder dresses as
A Lesbian Lumberjack
Rather lifelike, eh?
Wine red mask of lace
Cannot hide Pa Pa’s disgrace.
Punch Ryder in face.
I know it is not suppose to ryhme but what the heck
When your forearm tatt
Is how you identify
Your life is empty
23, balding.
Hair will be gone, tatts remain.
Life-long janitor.
.
Panties riding high,
Aspirations riding low.
Pap pap can’t be proud.
.
.
-Amerigo Vesdouchey
At Sevilla Club
big Friday special party
“Daddy Issues Night”
Lots of hotts out there
Have serious daddy issues
Don’t advertise it!
What I want to know
how do you maintain boner
looking at Dad’s name?
Both proud of tattoos
Proud of careers? Bills? Lost years?
Yeah, that’s what I thought.
Sevilla, three clubs:
San Diego, Riverside,
Long Beach; avoid all.
I also wonder
if she has a tattoo for mom
on the other side
Pap Pap’s Salty Tears
Can’t Wash Away Stench Of Her
Mom and Dad’s Failure
When he sees lil’ girl,
Pap Pap does some hilljackin’;
Ryder’s her brother.
@ Scrotato 7:44
We’ll be right over
all the masks in the whole world
won’t hide the terror
Her costume half done.
Pap Pap needs help. I give her
Thick rusty trombone.
Brent bent her over
Grunted “Who’s your daddy, b’yatch?”
Didn’t like answer
Pappa’s little girl
all grown up and on her own
Pappa shoots himself
Iowa douche thinks
act like Jesse James yet
fails miserably
Tatt on her thighs reads:
“Put on porch when you are done”
Pap Pap’s a good dad
Porch beef on menu
At Sevilla each Friday
But bring your own buns
@Scrotato
Bone Ryder. Another beer lost on desk. I give up.
Mini-Persian rug
below her neck? A mattress
was too obvious.
Poor man’s Jesse James:
“Ryder? I hardly know her!”
Somewhere Pap Pap weeps
Pap Pap’s Lil Girl
lift’s knee with brute force, douche should
have worn Ryder Cup!
* Not haiku…..I would just like to say freeform that it completely creeps me out when women get these “Daddy’s lil girl” tattoos. ESPECIALLY when they get them there. I cannot even put to words the thoughts that are going through my head. That being said….
.
I’m mentally scarred
from all the damn creepy thoughts
her tattoo gives me.
If only Pap knew
his lil girl was a club skank
he’d cry in his beer
Hayseed steps off bus
in big city, tries to fit in;
shoulda stayed in Plains.
Holy crap, this is one of the best haiku threads ever. I’m glad I’m awake for this for once.
.
Maw sure was jealous
of the “very special” bond
Lulu had with Pap.
Medusa, it rocks
because you’re contributing;
you got me rollin’!
Mask says ‘Eyes Wide Shut’
Pap Pap says ‘Gouge my eyes out!’
Ryder says ‘Bullseye!’
Wreath-like family tree
Caused Pap Pap’s Lil Girl to slide
Into douchebag’s arms
Mask not big enough,
Can’t hide the shame from Pap Pap,
Need beekeeper’s mask
Stretch marks and pimples
Reveal pear that has bred. Pap
said don’t ever tell.
“Grunge is still valid!”
Insists flannel-wearing choad
Gosh it’s hot in here.
If you love your dad
go buy him a fishing pole
he’ll like that better
Fridays are the best
Haikus thoughtful and funny
But best of all: Pear!
Daddy’s li’l tramp stamp
shows how she was reared; she got
liquid diploma.
Get back up on stage
No one cares about Daddy
Here’s one more dollar.
Too many ideas,
not enough explanation;
blew that last haiku.
Pap Pap’s Lil Girl
Needs to do an ass work out
Flat pear goes to knees
Pap Pap’s Lil Girl
I would love to Tap
Tap Tap Douche with a slippery Fish SLAP!
^4-5-10?
Sup Nerd Bags!
And how are we validating our (read: your) sad lives today? Bitterness channeled through haikus, huh? As I was driving to work this morning, I though of something funny that I’d like to share. My favorite part of this site (and there are many) is how everyone posting tries to sound just like DB1. It’s so cute! You sound just like the losers who used to call Tom Leykus with nothing interesting to say, just begging for a pat on the head from the Professor. With that in mind, take me out with a bong hit and a “Thank you, Jesus!”
Sport trivia: the “Thank you, Jesus” sound bite is from Kurt Warner at the Super Bowl!
Pap pap’s lil girl
meets mama’s lil douchebag
Call child services.
^^stop hatten broheim. You sound pretty smart, why don’t you start your own website? I’m sure people will flock to it as you explain why douchebags are awesome.
Pap Pap’s Lil’ Girl,
Makes me cry,
not ’cause of her lifestyle,
but the bleach I put in my eyes.
A pro-incest tatt
Pap Pap must be tapping that
Ryder gets “seconds”
It’s five-seven-five;
Fenton, please stick to the scheme
and have fun with it.
Woke too late again
To properly contribute
But where is her pear?
Masque of the Red Death
Is nothing compared to the
Mask of the Club Fail.
Douchebags are awesome… Necessity is the mother of invention, without Douche this site would not exist, no site… no Hall of Hott, no Pear, and no Pumpy!
Is Fenton really Doc, pretending to be stupid?
Fenton Hardy is
Vegas Ass Felcher, but with
better language skills.
Fent Hardy is banned,
Okay to be contentious,
But must be funny.
Slaves and prisoners
are always branded: Pap Pap’s
Gal and Ryder tatts.
Can you imagine
her in first grade, declaring
her future career?
We’ve come a long way
since Mitch Ryder and the De-
Troit Wheels, haven’t we?
Good Golly, Miss Mol
ly, Pap Pap pimps the cutest
ass to men in plaid.
My first time back to the site in a while and DB1 honors me with the front page. This does not bode well for my productivity.
Damn it’s good to be back.
Lord Blackadder not
Bladerunner headgear hopes
venom takes hold
If gradad was alive,
He would have loved this photo.
Dude was a poon hound.
The writings on the wall
And on his arm
And on her nearly ass
Z-list night club in
Utica soon finds itself
bankrupt. no one cares.
THAT, MUTHAFUCKA!
ONE HUNDREDTH HAIKU! i can
find inner peace now.
I just want to say that I completely drag free form when women have these Lil Daddy’s Girl" tattoo. Especially when they get there. I can not even put into words the thoughts that cross my mind.