Friday, October 15, 2010

Friday Haiku

Pap Pap’s Lil’ Girl,
Chooses life of selling pear,
To Sleazy Ryder.

Eyes Wide Shut Hott finds
Guy more douchey than Tom Cruise:
Mission Possible.

— Jeff Reed Towel Dispenser

Two more months stripping
Will have enough saved up to
Finish glute implants

— Vin Douchal

Barry drops 2 Large
For the chance to pose with Hott
Two months Kmart pay!!

— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt

Did Pap Pap tap tap?
She makes me wanna fap fap;
safer than clap clap.

— Wheezer

Pap Pap’s Salty Tears
Can’t Wash Away Stench Of Her
Mom and Dad’s Failure

— MC 900 Foot Douchebag

Winter is looming.
Business not booming. John
Boy saves for his tatt.

— The Reverend Chad Kroeger

“Grunge is still valid!”
Insists flannel-wearing choad
Gosh it’s hot in here.

— Douche Wayne

When your forearm tatt
Is how you identify
Your life is empty

— Mr. Scrotato Head

# posted by douchebag1
7:09 am October, 15 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Pap Pap’s Lil’ Girl,
makes me want to pop, pop in
my lil’ drawers!

7:10 am October, 15 Wheezer said...

Pap Smear’s little bleeth?
Raquel Welch did it tatt-free;
clothes-free works as well.

7:12 am October, 15 Jeff Reed Towel Dispenser said...

Eyes Wide Shut Hott finds
Guy more douchey than Tom Cruise:
Mission Possible.

7:12 am October, 15 Wheezer said...

Bitch Ryder, ‘Troit Heel
Douchebag with a sleeve tatt on,
hairline receding.

7:13 am October, 15 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Her mask is not ’nuff
to block his emanating
choad. Get Welders hat!

7:14 am October, 15 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Fenton loses mind.
Would not any of us help.
Dark Sock press button.

7:17 am October, 15 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Pap Pap has black tat.
Cover with duct tape, insert.
Spoogify quickly.

7:18 am October, 15 Wheezer said...

Sevilla Nightclub
looks like an off-ramp to the
Grieco Virus home

7:18 am October, 15 Vin Douchal said...

Two more months stripping
Will have enough saved up to
Finish glute implants

7:19 am October, 15 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Barry drops 2 Large
For the chance to pose with Hott
Two months Kmart pay!!

7:19 am October, 15 Wheezer said...

Pronounce that for me…..
Seh-vee-ah or Seh-vil-la?
Still three syllables.

7:20 am October, 15 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Douche tatt say Ryder.
Really must mean Winona.
Not the big fat one.

7:21 am October, 15 Vin Douchal said...

Ryder parks semi
Crashes masquerade party
No costume needed

7:23 am October, 15 Eliza Douchecoo said...

Looking at her tatt
Daddy started crying hard
and I was hard too

7:23 am October, 15 Wheezer said...

That’s a negative,
Compost Ryder – the pattern
is full; hairline not.

7:24 am October, 15 Vin Douchal said...

Tranquilizer dart
HIts target right below mouth
Happy coma, Ry !

7:24 am October, 15 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

With one quick rabbit punch
Jake helps Sonja lose her lunch
We don’t need his help

7:24 am October, 15 Wheezer said...

Did Pap Pap tap tap?
She makes me wanna fap fap;
safer than clap clap.

7:26 am October, 15 boatbutter said...

Jesse James Bieber…
Sevilla is a gay bar.
Lil Girl needs Pap smear.

7:27 am October, 15 Vin Douchal said...

Donna did not pay
At “Bring Choad Get In Free Night”
Then ignores Ryder

7:27 am October, 15 Eliza Douchecoo said...

Making Daddy proud
Debbie does Sevilla club…
like the ENTIRE club!

7:29 am October, 15 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Pap Pap pops pain pills
Points at prodigal pooter
Puts pistol to pate

7:30 am October, 15 Wheezer said...

Calling it “Mansion”
doth not Hef’s home this make; it’s
just a shit nightclub.

7:32 am October, 15 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Winter is looming.
Business not booming. John
Boy saves for his tatt.

7:33 am October, 15 dknutty said...

Pap Pap’s Lil Girl
Pleads with Tattooed Kidnapper
I’m not Winona!

7:34 am October, 15 Vin Douchal said...

Ignernt Fontanan
Still drunk at Cali Speedway
Race was last week , Dick

7:35 am October, 15 Eliza Douchecoo said...

Her vajayjay smells
too much like Wheat Thins and beer
spray Febreze then munch

7:37 am October, 15 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Sevilla Night Club
Sponsored by Charles Mansion
Taint Fam’ Massacre

7:38 am October, 15 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

She’s pretty slutty.
I like that in a slut. She likes
It up her pooty.

7:39 am October, 15 Eliza Douchecoo said...

That tattoo looks like
it’s seen it’s fair share of
rapid fire fun spray

7:39 am October, 15 Wheezer said...

If he shaved face fung
and covered that fuccen arm,
he might look OK.

7:40 am October, 15 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

When taking photos
His left side is his good side
His right arm says “Bone”

7:40 am October, 15 saulgoode42 said...

Eyes Wide Shut was cool
But so was ‘Ass Cracked Open’
Judy needs to puke

7:41 am October, 15 Wedgie said...

His tatt says “Adder”.
Her tatt says Pap Pap’s Lil’ Girl
Neither tells the truth.

7:42 am October, 15 Wheezer said...

U hatters all suckk
y u jealus of guy hu
gets some? lol

7:43 am October, 15 Wheezer said...

That was my attempt
to post in IM douche-speak.
I will retire it.

7:43 am October, 15 Wedgie said...

She is not little
He can’t add one plus twenty
She’ll blow for hunski.

7:44 am October, 15 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Lil’ Girl sees fist
Likes pain? Yo White! Medusa!
New one for playpen.

7:44 am October, 15 Vin Douchal said...

Ryder dresses as
A Lesbian Lumberjack
Rather lifelike, eh?

7:44 am October, 15 Claude Douchenburg said...

Wine red mask of lace
Cannot hide Pa Pa’s disgrace.
Punch Ryder in face.

I know it is not suppose to ryhme but what the heck

7:45 am October, 15 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

When your forearm tatt
Is how you identify
Your life is empty

7:45 am October, 15 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

23, balding.
Hair will be gone, tatts remain.
Life-long janitor.
.
Panties riding high,
Aspirations riding low.
Pap pap can’t be proud.
.
.
-Amerigo Vesdouchey

7:45 am October, 15 Medusa Oblongata said...

At Sevilla Club
big Friday special party
“Daddy Issues Night”

7:46 am October, 15 Deltus said...

Lots of hotts out there
Have serious daddy issues
Don’t advertise it!

7:47 am October, 15 Medusa Oblongata said...

What I want to know
how do you maintain boner
looking at Dad’s name?

7:47 am October, 15 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Both proud of tattoos
Proud of careers? Bills? Lost years?
Yeah, that’s what I thought.

7:48 am October, 15 Wheezer said...

Sevilla, three clubs:
San Diego, Riverside,
Long Beach; avoid all.

7:48 am October, 15 Medusa Oblongata said...

I also wonder
if she has a tattoo for mom
on the other side

7:49 am October, 15 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Pap Pap’s Salty Tears
Can’t Wash Away Stench Of Her
Mom and Dad’s Failure

7:49 am October, 15 Wheezer said...

When he sees lil’ girl,
Pap Pap does some hilljackin’;
Ryder’s her brother.

7:50 am October, 15 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ Scrotato 7:44
We’ll be right over
all the masks in the whole world
won’t hide the terror

7:50 am October, 15 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Her costume half done.
Pap Pap needs help. I give her
Thick rusty trombone.

7:51 am October, 15 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Brent bent her over
Grunted “Who’s your daddy, b’yatch?”
Didn’t like answer

7:51 am October, 15 Claude Douchenburg said...

Pappa’s little girl
all grown up and on her own
Pappa shoots himself

7:53 am October, 15 Sir David Douchenborough said...

Iowa douche thinks
act like Jesse James yet
fails miserably

7:54 am October, 15 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Tatt on her thighs reads:
“Put on porch when you are done”
Pap Pap’s a good dad

7:54 am October, 15 Wedgie said...

Porch beef on menu
At Sevilla each Friday
But bring your own buns

7:54 am October, 15 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Scrotato

Bone Ryder. Another beer lost on desk. I give up.

7:55 am October, 15 Wheezer said...

Mini-Persian rug
below her neck? A mattress
was too obvious.

7:55 am October, 15 Condouchious said...

Poor man’s Jesse James:
“Ryder? I hardly know her!”
Somewhere Pap Pap weeps

7:55 am October, 15 dknutty said...

Pap Pap’s Lil Girl
lift’s knee with brute force, douche should
have worn Ryder Cup!

7:57 am October, 15 Medusa Oblongata said...

* Not haiku…..I would just like to say freeform that it completely creeps me out when women get these “Daddy’s lil girl” tattoos. ESPECIALLY when they get them there. I cannot even put to words the thoughts that are going through my head. That being said….
.
I’m mentally scarred
from all the damn creepy thoughts
her tattoo gives me.

7:58 am October, 15 Medusa Oblongata said...

If only Pap knew
his lil girl was a club skank
he’d cry in his beer

8:00 am October, 15 Wheezer said...

Hayseed steps off bus
in big city, tries to fit in;
shoulda stayed in Plains.

8:00 am October, 15 Medusa Oblongata said...

Holy crap, this is one of the best haiku threads ever. I’m glad I’m awake for this for once.
.
Maw sure was jealous
of the “very special” bond
Lulu had with Pap.

8:02 am October, 15 Wheezer said...

Medusa, it rocks
because you’re contributing;
you got me rollin’!

8:07 am October, 15 Condouchious said...

Mask says ‘Eyes Wide Shut’
Pap Pap says ‘Gouge my eyes out!’
Ryder says ‘Bullseye!’

8:08 am October, 15 fidouchiary responsibility said...

Wreath-like family tree
Caused Pap Pap’s Lil Girl to slide
Into douchebag’s arms

8:10 am October, 15 Condouchious said...

Mask not big enough,
Can’t hide the shame from Pap Pap,
Need beekeeper’s mask

8:11 am October, 15 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Stretch marks and pimples
Reveal pear that has bred. Pap
said don’t ever tell.

8:11 am October, 15 Douche Wayne said...

“Grunge is still valid!”
Insists flannel-wearing choad
Gosh it’s hot in here.

8:12 am October, 15 Medusa Oblongata said...

If you love your dad
go buy him a fishing pole
he’ll like that better

8:16 am October, 15 Wedgie said...

Fridays are the best
Haikus thoughtful and funny
But best of all: Pear!

8:16 am October, 15 Wheezer said...

Daddy’s li’l tramp stamp
shows how she was reared; she got
liquid diploma.

8:18 am October, 15 Wedgie said...

Get back up on stage
No one cares about Daddy
Here’s one more dollar.

8:18 am October, 15 Wheezer said...

Too many ideas,
not enough explanation;
blew that last haiku.

8:40 am October, 15 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Pap Pap’s Lil Girl
Needs to do an ass work out
Flat pear goes to knees

8:56 am October, 15 Captain Scrote Sparrow said...

Pap Pap’s Lil Girl
I would love to Tap
Tap Tap Douche with a slippery Fish SLAP!

8:59 am October, 15 Wedgie said...

^4-5-10?

9:02 am October, 15 Fenton Hardy said...

Sup Nerd Bags!

And how are we validating our (read: your) sad lives today? Bitterness channeled through haikus, huh? As I was driving to work this morning, I though of something funny that I’d like to share. My favorite part of this site (and there are many) is how everyone posting tries to sound just like DB1. It’s so cute! You sound just like the losers who used to call Tom Leykus with nothing interesting to say, just begging for a pat on the head from the Professor. With that in mind, take me out with a bong hit and a “Thank you, Jesus!”

Sport trivia: the “Thank you, Jesus” sound bite is from Kurt Warner at the Super Bowl!

9:09 am October, 15 Mr. Biggs said...

Pap pap’s lil girl
meets mama’s lil douchebag
Call child services.

9:11 am October, 15 Mr. Biggs said...

^^stop hatten broheim. You sound pretty smart, why don’t you start your own website? I’m sure people will flock to it as you explain why douchebags are awesome.

9:11 am October, 15 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Pap Pap’s Lil’ Girl,
Makes me cry,
not ’cause of her lifestyle,
but the bleach I put in my eyes.

9:17 am October, 15 DoucheyWallnuts said...

A pro-incest tatt
Pap Pap must be tapping that
Ryder gets “seconds”

9:20 am October, 15 Wheezer said...

It’s five-seven-five;
Fenton, please stick to the scheme
and have fun with it.

9:57 am October, 15 fatness said...

Woke too late again
To properly contribute
But where is her pear?

9:59 am October, 15 fatness said...

Masque of the Red Death
Is nothing compared to the
Mask of the Club Fail.

10:06 am October, 15 Captain Scrote Sparrow said...

Douchebags are awesome… Necessity is the mother of invention, without Douche this site would not exist, no site… no Hall of Hott, no Pear, and no Pumpy!

10:14 am October, 15 Wedgie said...

Is Fenton really Doc, pretending to be stupid?

10:18 am October, 15 Wheezer said...

Fenton Hardy is
Vegas Ass Felcher, but with
better language skills.

10:27 am October, 15 douchebag1 said...

Fent Hardy is banned,
Okay to be contentious,
But must be funny.

11:02 am October, 15 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Slaves and prisoners
are always branded: Pap Pap’s
Gal and Ryder tatts.

11:03 am October, 15 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Can you imagine
her in first grade, declaring
her future career?

11:05 am October, 15 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

We’ve come a long way
since Mitch Ryder and the De-
Troit Wheels, haven’t we?

11:07 am October, 15 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Good Golly, Miss Mol
ly, Pap Pap pimps the cutest
ass to men in plaid.

11:07 am October, 15 Douche Wayne said...

My first time back to the site in a while and DB1 honors me with the front page. This does not bode well for my productivity.

Damn it’s good to be back.

3:17 pm October, 15 Anonymous said...

Lord Blackadder not
Bladerunner headgear hopes
venom takes hold

5:07 am October, 16 Blair said...

If gradad was alive,
He would have loved this photo.
Dude was a poon hound.

9:34 pm October, 16 iDouche said...

The writings on the wall
And on his arm
And on her nearly ass

9:46 pm October, 17 Steve L. said...

Z-list night club in
Utica soon finds itself
bankrupt. no one cares.

9:48 pm October, 17 Steve L. said...

THAT, MUTHAFUCKA!
ONE HUNDREDTH HAIKU! i can
find inner peace now.

5:06 am October, 18 Motorcycle Accessories said...

I just want to say that I completely drag free form when women have these Lil Daddy’s Girl" tattoo. Especially when they get there. I can not even put into words the thoughts that cross my mind.

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