Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Fung Diddy


Oh poor, sweet, confused Simona.

How you pull on that wafting tuft of chin fung to see if the mo’ will move. But it doesn’t move. For there is far too much skull.

My Simona. How I would gnaw on your perfect European supple legs like the Kaiser searching the Ottoman Empire for a new Ottoman. Because his living room needs updating.

# posted by douchebag1
11:38 am October, 6 Eliza Douchecoo said...

Wonder if his chest hair and pubes are mohawked too.

11:38 am October, 6 Eliza Douchecoo said...

Dem’s some nice gams eh?

11:40 am October, 6 Redouche-Reooze-Repsycho said...

^ Exactly. You’d think he’d shave away the outer edges of his eyebrows.
.
I want to ride her thigh-suckle. I want to ride her where I like.

11:40 am October, 6 Eliza Douchecoo said...

The Ottoman Empire must have been comfy with no shortage of places to sit if unexpected company came over.

11:40 am October, 6 Redouche-Reooze-Repsycho said...

I thought Otto-man was a character on the Simpsons…

11:43 am October, 6 Eliza Douchecoo said...

I wonder if anyone who has a uni-brow has ever shaved off all the brow except for the middle part, that would be sweet, where’s my rogaine, time to put the lotion on.

11:43 am October, 6 Crucial Head said...

Clarence held his beloved tightly, as they passed back his pungent seed to and fro through the clear straw that connected their strained mouths.

11:44 am October, 6 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ Redouche–Your avatar makes me laugh. And in Canada, bags come in bleeths. Aaaaand, that’s all from me on the subject.
.
My only hope is that she’ll use those strips of stoopid hair to steer his dumb ass in the right direction….knowwhutI’msayin’? Not that I hope he’s gonna do that to her, but if he is, at least he could do a good job.

11:44 am October, 6 DarkSock said...

SPREEEETTTCHHH!!!
..
She just brown-filmed Scott Peein’ of the thrash band San-Sacs with a shartastic blast of her mudhorn.

11:45 am October, 6 DarkSock said...

“My name’s Scott; I’m in the band. I play the Lap Skank.”

11:46 am October, 6 DarkSock said...

Scott Mohair: Merkin Model.

11:48 am October, 6 Crucial Head said...

The aroma of steamed cabbage and pureed lentils that wafted out from Greta’s raised thigh pleased the couple greatly as they moved into the first position at the Flatus Emissions Championship.

11:49 am October, 6 CBS said...

i remember when i had Def Jam Fight for NY on xbox and i played it for hundreds of hours. I created about 30+ characters for myself and thought of how maybe given thousands of lifetimes I could dabble in being a variety of badasses and fascinating individuals. One character I decided I would like to be one day was a dude called Harvey Meretzky. His hair was actually very similar to this guy. I guess the real difference was that Harvey was the head of a biker gang, was old school metal head, wore black overall and didn’t make gay ass kissy faces at the camera. also his girl was way hotter. If Harvey ran into this guy, he would probably just laugh and move on. In a way, shouldn’t we all?

11:50 am October, 6 DarkSock said...

“…and when I work her leg up and down like this, her shaved box makes a drowning cricket sound!”
,
*fweet! fweet! fweet!*

11:51 am October, 6 jonezy said...

double thumb ring absolutely must be auto-douche. As if he needed that to put him over the edge, but still…

11:51 am October, 6 DarkSock said...

“…and now let us bring to order the
Society of Couples That Only Say “MWAHHHH”……”

11:52 am October, 6 Redouche-Reooze-Repsycho said...

@ Medusa:

I always assumed the character in my avatar was talking about Harvey Milk.

11:56 am October, 6 jonezy said...

@ Eliza 11.43
.
I picture that while also wearing a Hitler ‘stache.
.
On BEH.
.
frightening

12:14 pm October, 6 tall guy said...

Ugh! Him again. Good Lord what a freak.

12:16 pm October, 6 Tom Choad said...

If I hit that ‘hawk hard enough with a shovel, i bet I can make it come out through his chin.
.
Worth a try, anyhow.
.
Mmmm, Simona. Rrowr! Little black dress and legs that go up to heaven. I don’t have a dyed-red chinbeard for you to pull, but I do have something that will grow when you tug on it.

12:25 pm October, 6 Wheezer said...

If we ever start a Hall of Legs, Simona’s a charter member.

12:29 pm October, 6 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

May I just say that with a stupid mohawk / chin bush combo like that, I think your employment choices are limited to the local record store or the lower bay at jiffy lube. So how is he scoring a fine woman like that? I know, I know, a question that been answered on this site a hundred times. still just boggles my mind.

12:36 pm October, 6 Captain Scrote Sparrow said...

I’d grate my love cheese on her shins while savoring the flavor of her euro goodness, all whilst keeping my fists of fury available for repeated attacks on Fung’s Ferguson shaped hat holder. If you looks closely you will see the pubes and dried piss on the rim of the urinal. How I would love to donate asparagus infused pee to the Fung Diddy’s flavor saver…

12:41 pm October, 6 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ Redouche 11:52
BWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! As long as it wasn’t done with taxpayer dollars, I have no objection.
.
RE Simona–meh, I’m not all that impressed. She has an Esther Canadas thing going on in the face, and, well, blecch, I’m not into alien porn. But Simona’s still got some sweet ass sticks there, I’d rub ’em on mine and see if we can start a fire.

12:48 pm October, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Val Kilmer just never felt right after he saw Clooney steal his roles.

12:52 pm October, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Alexis Carrington doesn’t age. But she smells of decomposing John Forsythe and Ozonol.

12:52 pm October, 6 Eliza Douchecoo said...

@joneszy
I know better than to click on most links people put up here, yet I still do anyway. Damn BEH ruining my day again and freakin’ me out.

12:59 pm October, 6 Mr. White said...

@medusa
Not into alien porn? Ummm…uh oh…
.
You should probably avoid the playpen from 7:30 to 9:45 tonight. Why? Uh, no reason.

1:07 pm October, 6 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Simona looks like a young Joan Collins in all her retro, bleethy hottness.
http://www.adamcarolla.com/TPEBlog/wp-content/gallery/ep107/02-young-joan-collins.jpg

1:23 pm October, 6 Douchble Helix said...

Love the Little Black Dress!

3:10 pm October, 6 Wedgie said...

Nicola’s cousin is equally tasty. Unfortunately, she also shares the family penchant for bad taste in, um, “men”.

3:16 pm October, 6 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

That’s one douchey nutcracker she has.
.
Step1; pull on chin fung
Step 2: insert another douche’s nuts
Step 3: slam chin fung upward
Step 4: laugh hysterically
Repeat Steps 1-4 until you either run out of victims or you make him do it to himself

3:17 pm October, 6 system of douche said...

Woeful Mort thought a rousing round of cunninglingus enhanced by maple syrup would be a fine idea before going out.

Simona thought she had her Addison’s disease under control.

3:19 pm October, 6 system of douche said...

Addison’s or not, she’s got some lickable legs, no doubt about it. Mmmm.

5:34 pm October, 6 Troy Tempest said...

Meh. She’s got a fat ass. It looks like a fork lift.
.
And speaking of fat ass – a bit of advice to the gentlemen here:
.
Don’t do this: when the girlfriend asks “Do these jeans make my ass look fat?” Answer “No, of course not, darling, you have a lovely rump” or something to that effect, Do not answer:

“No dear, that is not possible.”
.
She will reply, “Eh?” (being Canada and all that…) or “Huh?” for the Americans.
.
Because that will cause you to state the obvious: “OF course – you see, it’s your fat ass that makes your ass look fat. The jeans have nothing to do with it.”
.
You won’t get any of that fat ass for a loooong time.
.
Word.

6:09 pm October, 6 Douchble Helix said...

Fat ass? No.

12:00 am October, 7 Baleen said...

Boy, you got a merkin on your chin. Christ, he must be the loofah boy who cleans randy butt crack with that thing.
.
She looks like a hammerhead shark. In a good way of course.

12:40 am October, 7 Steve L. said...

Simona’s legs are capable of great feats of strength and agility in bed. especially when she orgasms.
.
or at least that’s what i tell myself what i jerk off to Simona.

12:42 am October, 7 Steve L. said...

WHEN i jerk off to Simona.
.
there. i just jerked off to Simona again.

6:13 am October, 7 mr.reeve said...

I don’t know about a fat ass. Great ass and legs is more like it.

6:16 am October, 7 The Goob the Bag and the Pudly said...

@ Troy, 5:34
.
Fucck! NOW you tell me! I wondered why that bed has been so cold.
.
I luuuv Simona’s legs. Too bad there’s poo on them.
.
@ Tom, 12:16
I got a shovel, too. How about I hit the chin fung right as you hit the mohawk, and we’ll see if we can make his hair come out through his eye sockets?

6:28 am October, 7 Tony Ventresca said...

Possibly the best legs seen on this site. Her face looks rather haughty, though, and that’s a turn off. He looks like the recently-fired drummer of some crap indie band hanging out in a club badmouthing his old bandmates.

9:34 pm October, 7 Stephanie said...

Sorry dude, that’s a normal ass,in fact if I was lesbo,I’d do her. The thing is gentlemen,that’s a low low thing to say to a lady,when after all, we are built to make babies so the hips must be also a birth canal. So deal with it fuckers.

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