Monday, October 11, 2010

HCwDB After Dark

The comments threads are light today, and that makes your humble narrator sad and lonely.

So I sit on my stained rug on my floor.

And I scratch.

And I crack a bottle of ‘Dog.

And I step out onto the veranda to slap one of the wild pelicans attempting to steal a fig newton left over from last night’s festivities. Stupid wild pelican. Fig Newtons are people food.

# posted by douchebag1
7:24 pm October, 11 Fatness said...

L-R: Barf, Bleeth, ‘Bag.
.
Mix and match.

7:25 pm October, 11 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

These are the guys I see in Williamsburg and think, “If they got mugged and tried to defend themselves and ended up dead from a knife or bullet would I care?” And the answer is always no.

7:28 pm October, 11 Casey said...

>The comments threads are light today, and that makes your humble narrator sad and lonely.

Well it’s nice to know you mock for the love, and not for the money. Although quite possibly for the boobies, though I’m afraid I only see three flat chests here, and a hipsterbag sucking in his gut.

7:33 pm October, 11 Troy Tempest said...

Nothing says “I’m a fucking moron” like wearing sun glasses at night and no shirt under an open coat.

7:38 pm October, 11 doucheywallnuts said...

Here’s an example of the Groin Non-Shave Reveal. Wow I need to barf. Also, I’ve had Wild Pelican Newtons.

7:42 pm October, 11 CBS said...

here’s an example of a sly woman reverse roofying the dat rapists. their anooses r gonna be ripped something awful before you can say turkey, mash and stuffing.

Happy thanksgiving canada…yes ours is in october bc in two weeks we wont be able to feel our fingers.

8:04 pm October, 11 Vin Douchal said...

Thse three fell out of the goofy tree and hit every branch on the way down

8:14 pm October, 11 soy bomb said...

Whether they consciously know it or not, these two hipsterbags are begging for a fist beating.

8:19 pm October, 11 CBS said...

these guys r creepy. tryhard bag on left looks a lot like another douchebag that creeps me out—adam levine of maroon 5…so this is in dedication.

[douche verse]
i didn’t hear what you were saying
i slipped a roofie in ur drink baby
i answer questions wrong maybe
and i’m not kind, instead pretty damn gay
so who the hell are you to say me
and him look like shit babies bitch

[hott verse]
If you needed butt
Well then ass-a-fuck
Ugly guy you love
with the tranny smut
And it’s not my fault
Cause i switched the drinks
What is coming now
will tickle ur turds

[Bag chorus]
wake up call
caught me with the roofies and another one i brought to help
don’t u rape our asses hard anymore
use a smaller dildo?
i sure hope so.

[hott chorus]
6 foot dildo came without a warning
and went str8 up creepbags ass
saw him cough up a lung on the floor
cough up gay virginity?
i dont think so.

8:33 pm October, 11 DarkSock said...

So easy two cavemen could do her.

8:37 pm October, 11 CBS said...

http://www.popcrunch.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/elton.jpg

this is my favourite and has something to do with last year’s losers of the Running Man. and is generally just a little ditty from the halls of my twisted mind. (bennie and the jets was the song)

Hey Bert’s in for nasty weather
Buzzer saws him apart and then puts him back together
Ernie’s puking everywhere but has got to stick around.
u knew you fucked up ur life when you hung out with a fat clown

oh arms and legs and the head sawed off
he’s got’em all splayed out
B-B-B-Buzzer and the Saw
Oh and you know its so wonderful
and he cuts them a really clean

He’s got steel toed boots
an armoured suit
u know he does it just to hear them screammmm ohhh
B-B-B-Buzzer and the Saw

http://shittymovienight.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/RM-11-Buzzsaw.JPG

8:53 pm October, 11 Wedgie said...

Didn’t someone above try to pee in a pelican once?

8:54 pm October, 11 Justin said...

Darksock wins.

9:00 pm October, 11 Steve L. said...

either of these guys can out-boob the girl.

9:01 pm October, 11 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Do we really need to see pasty WHITE abdominal chesties after DARK?

9:04 pm October, 11 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

I daresay that if anyone ever tried to pee in a pelican, the pelican would give the bird and poop on the pier, er,ah, um, peer….pee-er.

10:14 pm October, 11 Douchble Helix said...

I’ve spent many minutes looking, trying various times. I don’t understand how her head is connected to her body. I’m sure it’s me.

1:26 am October, 12 Douchetacular said...

Upon closer inspection..it seems the tart is also wearing underwear with flags on them…have no doubt, “slutsville” has found a home.

4:51 am October, 12 Smoot's anal cavity crust said...

I miss He Just Bangs Bitches and Drinks.

5:08 am October, 12 system of douche said...

Two twinks and a post op hit the town.

5:13 am October, 12 system of douche said...

Left twink has a permanent eye gaze caused by the close proximity of cockk in his face, Right twink cleverly hides his similar affliction.

“Jane” doesn’t like oral.

5:49 am October, 12 Anonymous said...

Chest hair. Flabby. These aren’t DBs. They’re just playing.

6:22 am October, 12 massengill said...

Those guys would be really cool if that picture was taken on Opposite Day.

6:40 am October, 12 UFO Destroyers said...

Let’s see, I’m 42 years old, weigh in at 220 pounds, drink plenty of beer and whiskey, the only exercise I get is mowing the lawn every 5 or six weeks with a self propelled mower, and haven’t been without my shirt except for the beach in July and still have better abs and tan than these two doofi. It’s too early for Halloween costumes, so this must be their real life. They’ll dress up like Gordon Gekko at the end of the month; hopefully, cancer-infused Gordon.
.
And right bag’s aunt called and wanted to know why he went through her old clothes from the 70’s at grammys house.

6:52 am October, 12 The Goob the Bag and the Pudly said...

I always thought the disgusting McPoyle brothers on It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia were completely fictions, but apparently, they are based on real people.
.
At least the sister is hotter in this photo than on the show– no unibrow. Still, what’s with her look– pink tube top, white tie and a black cape? What was she thinking? And after Labor Day, too! How gauche!

6:53 am October, 12 The Goob the Bag and the Pudly said...

^ That almost reads as a sentence in English, Goob! Gotta get some coffee…

6:56 am October, 12 I R A Darth Aggie said...

The bags need more clothes, the bleeth less.

And more tatts.

7:07 am October, 12 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’m with UFO except I use a push mover. Older and lazier and put these guys to shame with lots of hair all over. I don’t get the shaving thing. They need to get out in the cold and split somw wood or each other’s heads or something.

A bunch of us were having our crazy two day thangsgiving and didn’t mean to neglect the mock.

Hit us with something good like the Kleenex this week.

7:50 am October, 12 Tom Choad said...

@Goob, 6:52
McPoyle reference is dead-on! I almost expect there to be another pic of the guys starting to make out or bathing in their own urine.
.
I do appreciate the little come-hither smile of the chick, though.

7:59 am October, 12 Deltus said...

Sorry boss, I was enjoying Thanksgiving with the fam. Commenting on this end will resume per normal.

8:46 am October, 12 Wheezer said...

@Smoot’s anal cavity crust, 4:51 a.m. –
.
Yeah, ol’ HJBB&D would be certain to have some wise stream of unconsciousness to explain this shot after emptying 1 2 3 pop bottles.

9:15 am October, 12 Captain Scrote Sparrow said...

Q: What do you get when a turd breaks in half due to a harsh splashdown?
.
A: Chest Reveal and hip tat??? (any takers???)

11:13 am October, 12 Redouche-Reooze-Repsycho said...

It’s fortunate the guy on the left wore his sunglasses that night– it surely spared him the ghastly glare from the camera flash off his sickeningly pallid chest and gut.

1:20 pm October, 12 Anonymous said...

That looks like Kevin Rose….

2:40 pm October, 12 Redouche-Reooze-Repsycho said...

^That would be the guy on the girl’s left, of course.
.
How much DID I have to drink at lunch?

6:58 pm October, 12 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ DB1–I’m so sorry. I was working’ hard for the money, so hard, honey honey. I know that feeling of crushing loneliness. So does Isolation Pear. I thought maybe you guys could share your loneliness. And by loneliness I mean genitals.

1:51 pm October, 13 doucheblaster said...

@Dark Sock “so easy two cave men can get her”

Sir, that was the best rip of the year!!!

and contrary to the general consensus I think this chick is hot!!!! she is all that is cute and innocent tattoo skanky hot

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