Monday, October 11, 2010

Jigsaw Steve Voted

Still reeling from not making the HCwDB of the Week simply on the power of hottie nuzzle and douchey arm tatt, Jigsaw Steve is still being a good sport, dropping by and voting.

And by voting, I mean making Sophie’s dad cry into his gin martini for the inescapable realization of his many failures in his role as a father.

# posted by douchebag1
11:12 am October, 11 Fatness said...

Hmmm….someone’s painted Bouncy Diana flocked orange and bent her backward over an ottoman.

11:17 am October, 11 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Boss, did you ever pick the best caption for Jigsaw Steve’s inaugural photo?
Also, was this photo taken at a Sesame Place? Are they sitting on Elmo? Is her shirt made of the same material as the Elmos they are sitting with? What is that tattoo on Jig Steve’s left wrist? Questions, questions….

11:26 am October, 11 Mr. Biggs said...

I’d tend to think her dad is now lost in the philosophical quandary of how so many years of his undying devotion to his daughter could wind up in such a travesty. It’s like watching 20 years of your life go flushing down the toilet.

11:35 am October, 11 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Steve is an unsolved (WHY?) jigsaw puzzle in camou and black, but the only thing more orange than his squeeze Diana is that crazy upholstery in the photo and a party table of oompa-loompas.

And a bottle of liquid Dial soap.

11:39 am October, 11 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Well, who is it? Sophie? Diana?
A Tropicana rose by any other name is still the same…

11:42 am October, 11 Mr. White said...

@DoucheyWalnuts
The tattoo on Jigsaw’s wrist is much like the tattoos they give patients undergoing radiation. They used it to aim the instruments at. In Jigsaw’s case, however, it’s to speed the process of inserting the IV for his weekly dose of Valtrex and vancomycin.
.
Good news for us, though. In the next frame of this photo series, Pinhead shows up and drives spikes through all the interstices of Jigsaw’s tattoo, and promptly drags him into hell.

11:47 am October, 11 Medusa Oblongata said...

^ Mr. White FTW.
“We want the douche who did THIS.”
.
I dunno, it looks like they’re sitting on a tandem Sybian saddle from here.
.
I want one.

11:47 am October, 11 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Sophie-Diana hoped that in due time, Steve’s new fascination with carrot juice would, like her, turn his skin a striking orange, at which point his arms would look like a mosaic tile floor and she could walk all over him.

11:52 am October, 11 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Those chairs have the biggest tits in the room. Although Sophie’s are orangier and don’t taste like sweat, Axe, and Goose.

11:57 am October, 11 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

You’d think in honor of Columbus Day DB1 would have come through with a good old old school Staten Island/ Jerzey Pudwanking Guido Fucking Douchebag.

12:16 pm October, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Jigsaw and Halloween chick fucck off I’m cooking yams and I am beginning to question my kitchen hygiene.

12:20 pm October, 11 Medusa Oblongata said...

I would love to color in some of those puzzle pieces. With a flamethrower.

12:41 pm October, 11 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

DB1, “hottie nuzzle”? – looks more like a hottie death grip.

12:45 pm October, 11 Mr. White said...

@medusa
re: tandem Sybian saddle
I think I can work something up with some duct tape, the arc welder, and a couple of “guests” from the “waiting area” in the playpen.

1:19 pm October, 11 Wedgie said...

I think I had that Pinhead guy in my shop class. He was such a cut-up!

4:32 pm October, 11 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ Mr. White—nah, save ’em. We need them for The Human Centipede.

9:05 pm October, 11 Steve L. said...

Jigsaw Steve probably wanted to vote for all of the contestants in this weekly.

9:33 am October, 12 Captain Scrote Sparrow said...

Sophie lands a nomination while struggling out from under a “Rear Naked Choke”… bad Jigsaw Steve! go sit on a newspaper in the corner and quit being such a cock slipper!

8:08 am October, 19 The Whistle Gooo said...

I actually know these people. Her name is Alissa and his name is Joe. No joke.

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