Thursday, October 21, 2010

Kal Armstrong Buys a Ten Pound Watch

Kal Armstrong, long lost brother of Veg Armstrong, has only one thing to say to the ladies.

Six pound watches are for pussies.

# posted by douchebag1
1:52 pm October, 21 Vin Douchal said...

The Most Interesting Douchebag In The World ™ and his pet gorilla working the room

1:59 pm October, 21 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

think I’ve mentioned this before, but when your arm is bigger than your head, time to lay off the HGH. and thats not a watch, its a wall clock.

1:59 pm October, 21 Eliza Douchecoo said...

Wonder how much they paid for the 12 year old hooker? With all those tattoos, Kal obviously has extra money to throw around.

2:00 pm October, 21 Choadthedouchesprocket said...

The question begs to be asked: What do these dudes do in their spare time? And by spare time, I mean every waking minute when they’re not looking fierce, posing or working out…

2:10 pm October, 21 Medusa Oblongata said...

Jesus, Chun-Li, Maria Shriver and The Thing walk into a bar….

2:10 pm October, 21 Medusa Oblongata said...

Hey, Kal, Flavor Flav called. He knows you stole his necklace.

2:11 pm October, 21 Vin Douchal said...

I’m not kidding, throw a tiny top hat, suspenders and a bow tie on this Magilla and we have a winner:
.

2:19 pm October, 21 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Since when did Osama Bin Laden start dating Lucy Lu? Fucck, I’m the last to know everything apparently.

2:40 pm October, 21 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Fuggedabout him, the Lady in Gray steals the beauty pageant here with a HOH gorgeous smile on a beautiful face and visibly luscious bod. OOH LA LA.
But Kal takes the prize for displaying a huge wristwatch on an arm the size of a giant sequoia log, and tatted enough to pass for bark, with a face as ugly as a stripping machine at a sawmill.
Meanwhile, Asian Hott and Middle Eastern Douche make a fine bi-ethnic coupling. Doubla-ooh-la-la.

2:55 pm October, 21 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Fuck I had forgotten about Veg. Thanks for the reminder. His brother has some work to do to meet Veg’s high standard of looking like he is stuffed full of dinner rolls and assorted squash. Kal likes his chicks young and half eyebrowless.

3:02 pm October, 21 Mr. White said...

That’s not a watch–he just drew clock hands on a dinner plate and strapped it to his wrist. He figures that chicks will think he’s “all smart and shit” if he has an analog watch.

3:07 pm October, 21 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I think Veg has an actual cuckoo clock strapped to his wrist. Whenever it comes out on the hour or half hour it alternately pops a steroid or Valtrex into his cake hole.

3:13 pm October, 21 darksock said...

How the fuck can a watch on an arm that looks like Rosanne Barr’s shaved leg still look too big?

3:30 pm October, 21 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Kal’s watch is bigger’n Asian Hott’s left tit, and likely, her right tit.

It’s a fact.

3:31 pm October, 21 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Kal Armstrong looks suspiciously like he knows something about the whereabouts of Plinky’s mom.

3:34 pm October, 21 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Kal Armstorng IS what’s in a can of Whoop-Ass.

3:35 pm October, 21 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Kal Armstrong can actually spell his name correctly, whereas my attempts are more ” sturm und drang.”.

3:37 pm October, 21 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

That’s no wristwatch, it’s an oven timer.

3:43 pm October, 21 Vin Douchal said...

On a related note:
.
Really hot Asian Hott in glasses with added underboob bonus
.
Eeeyouch

3:43 pm October, 21 Anonymous said...

WOW!!! The same sad people saying the same sad fhings! This site sucked 2 years ago, now it’s just PATHETIC!

3:47 pm October, 21 Hugh Manatee said...

Little known fact:

There is also a sister. “Vag” Armstrong can crush walnuts with her twat.
She entertains party guests by squirting Corona bottles across the room, launching them from her pussy with surprising accuracy.

3:57 pm October, 21 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Kal’s lunch came hopping into the room whining “I’m late! I’m late, for a very important date.”
.
On the plus side, Kal got a sweet watch with the meal. On the down side, it does require a basic knowledge of time and the ability to read numbers.
.
For Kal there is no time. Only Eat, Sleep, Poop, and Crush Pussy. Not always in that order.

4:20 pm October, 21 Deltus said...

Kal roided out and crushed a town hall with a clock tower. The clock face was the only thing to survive, and he wears it around his ankle, sorry, his wrist as a reminder and warning.
.
I would let asian hott do all sorts of things to me.

4:27 pm October, 21 Wedgie said...

Kenny Loggins still looks great.
Cal was in Small Soldiers, wasn’t he?

4:28 pm October, 21 08ArmyDoc said...

Just one question: what will this douche look like at 80?

Anon 3:43 – inappropriate to ding and run (no name, just bash and run) – sack up boy

4:33 pm October, 21 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

That’s no gottdamn watch. That’s the antenna array from Voyager I !
That’s no fuccen arm. That’s the leg of Secretariat!!

4:34 pm October, 21 Nancy Dreuche said...

Me: What’s the time?!
Kal: It’s time to get Groooo!
Me: Wow, Kal that’s kinda clever. I have underestimated you. Seriously though lay of the Protein Powder urinal cakes.

4:35 pm October, 21 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

That’s no gottdamn watch. That’s tmy stolen Dish Antenna!
That’s no fuccen arm. That’s the leg of Jesse Owen!!

4:50 pm October, 21 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

That’s no gottdamn watch. That’s the Arecibo Observatory !!
That’s no fuccen arm. That’s the leg of Tyrannosaurus Rex!!

5:04 pm October, 21 Justin said...

He’s got ten pound chin fung as well.

5:28 pm October, 21 soy bomb said...

No, no anon 3:43, you got it all wrong! This site is awesome, and it is you that sucks. Easy mistake. Carry on.

5:33 pm October, 21 Dicy said...

This can’t be real! Tell me he’s a sideshow act. He’s gotta have some serious body issues… No one is impressed dude so just give it up.

And the Arecibo reference was a total win!

5:37 pm October, 21 Guid is Good said...

Before he bought that watch Kal was a 120 pound weakling. Does Homeland Security know about Kal’s wingman?

5:39 pm October, 21 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Dicey:
🙂
FDD

5:55 pm October, 21 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@Wedgie
“Small Soldiers”
Heh heh!

5:59 pm October, 21 Eliza Douchecoo said...

Damn these steroids, damn them all to hell, first thsy shrink your little head then they shrink your other head.

6:00 pm October, 21 Eliza Douchecoo said...

been drinkin sorry, me and fenton hardy are rootin’ for the phils…fucck why does he have to like the phillies?

6:38 pm October, 21 Stephanie said...

Cal should drop to the floor and give me ten.
If your arm and neck are larger than your head,you’re a douche bag.

7:21 pm October, 21 El Bastardo Magnifico said...

Okay, so, seriously, Asian Hott is way too good for these people. What happened to those dreams you had, Asian Hott? Remember when you wanted to sing?

8:00 pm October, 21 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

10 pound watch? That’s Big Ben, you puny girlie men!

8:09 pm October, 21 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

6 pound watches are for pussies, and apparently college, reading, knowledge and so on are for losers! Well done, Kal. Just when I had thought evolution was a hoax, along comes the missing link.

8:26 pm October, 21 Wedgie said...

@Scrotato
Check out a pic of Brick Bazooka and tell me this guy isn’t him.

8:40 pm October, 21 Steve L. said...

somewhere, a previously intelligent, librarian-y, and doe-eyed oriental hott was rejected by the University of Toronto’s medical school.
.
but it’s not her fault.
.
it’s the un-Kleen douchebags’ fault.

8:41 pm October, 21 Steve L. said...

okay it’s ALSO Kal Armstrong’s fault.
just so i can stay on topic, somehow.

8:42 pm October, 21 CBS said...

WOW!!! An endless pool of human poo having not learned why culturally generic is synonymous to shaved goat! Being in places with these types of dregmongers sucked my whole life, now I get to mock it from the comfort of my LIVING ROOM!

8:43 pm October, 21 Denny said...

OMG! THIS should be the real cast of Jersey Shore!

9:31 pm October, 21 Anonymous said...

Kal is a 1980’s action figure toy

10:05 pm October, 21 Crucial Head said...

“The Most Interesting Douchebag In The World…”
.
Still chookling.

10:09 pm October, 21 Crucial Head said...

… though I’d bet all of Mr. Scrotatohead’s Mormon-financed fortune that those Dos Equis commercial’s would be far better served if they pulled from the Samurai Scrote thread… aka: The Thread of Threads.

1:11 am October, 22 iDouche said...

When he goes camping he needs a sleeping bag for each arm.

2:50 am October, 22 wonderdouche twin said...

Damn it must be hard times in Hollywood when Hugh Laurie starts clubbing with Kal.

5:42 am October, 22 The Goob the Bag and the Pudly said...

It won’t be long before he grabs the brunette in one hand and starts climbing the Empire State Building.

5:44 am October, 22 DoucheyWallnuts said...

It’s a shame that anabolic agents do not increase the size of a douchebag’s wrists and hands…this guy could be in the new Burger King ad campaign about tiny hands.
http://pinstripebindi.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/burger-king-tiny-hands.jpg

5:59 am October, 22 mr.reeve said...

That is a giant roidbag. He probably struggles to wipe his ass. I bet that watch smells like shat.

6:42 am October, 22 darksock said...

@ anon 3:43 pm –
.
Thank you for sharing. See you in 2 years.

6:43 am October, 22 darksock said...

@ Vin 3:43 pm –
.
Thank you for sharing. I’m typing with my left hand; my right arm will soon look like Kal’s.

6:55 am October, 22 Deltus said...

Had dinner at a buffet restaurant last night. Kal’s watch was bigger than the plates there. I held one up to my wrist, turned to a fellow patron of the establishment, and said, “GROOOOOOO!” Apparently, you have to have to more closely resemble a mountain gorilla in order for that to be funny. I got a chuckle out of it, anyway.

7:56 am October, 22 Redouche-Reooze-Repsycho said...

Has anyone here ever said a sad “fhing?” I’m not even sure how one would.
.
Maybe Kal pumped his arms up to cartoonish proportions to have enough room on or a lot of tatts, so they wouldn’t bunch all together and look like a dark skin rash or fur.
.
If so, he failed. Either place that ink on other parts or make some decisions about which to have and which to discard.

8:26 am October, 22 Douche Springsteen said...

Is it just me or is the Kettlehead-esque eyebrow raise starting to become a “thing”? I thought I had seen it in a few other pics recently as well as this one.

9:06 am October, 22 Douche of Earl said...

I’m voting early. Kal FTW.

9:13 am October, 22 Turdacious said...

hmmm super douche?
http://www.angelfire.com/ca4/sarahdouglasp2/images/non1.jpg

9:54 am October, 22 Mr. Biggs said...

Ok. New rule. If you bicep is bigger than your head, auto-stage 3 bag. This is because developing a grotesquely out of proportion arm like that requires long term commitment to freakishness.

And I also say this because, if your forearm is also greater than your head, we will need a douchebag equivalent of hurricane alerts.

Took me a while to place where I’ve seen douchebag on the left before, but I think I found it.

9:55 am October, 22 Mr. Biggs said...

Oh I get it now. The watch is to keep him from constantly punching himself in the face.

10:13 am October, 22 Captain Scrote Sparrow said...

Maybe the douche/douchess are all actually micro and the watch is a true 1:1 scale?

10:24 am October, 22 Captain Scrote Sparrow said...

Thats no Watch…. that’s a battle station.

10:25 am October, 22 Captain Scrote Sparrow said...

Thats no Bicep… that’s a battle station.

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