Thursday, October 7, 2010

Lonnie Busts a Move

And he calls it “Greasy Chests for Peace.”

I see you, three munchable party girlkins, Sue, Suzy and Suzanne. One pensive. One giggly. And one shouting “Woo!” all the way to the bathroom. As I approve of the genetic gifts offered by the potential of your wombs, I awkwardly offer to buy you an appletini and then fondle your jacket and stare at the small of your back when you’re distracted.

# posted by douchebag1
9:27 am October, 7 Mr. White said...

I will stare at Sue and Suzy’s fronts while they’re talking to me. Suzanne (i.e., Courtney Love) and Lonnie can go back to doing lines off the toilet seat in the men’s room.

9:30 am October, 7 Et Tu Douche? said...

Suzanne looks naughty and Lonnies Chest Shave Reveal and sad attempt at a mustache must flogged for his insolenece

9:43 am October, 7 Captain Scrote Sparrow said...

I can smell Suzanne’s Axe… She’s a HE!

10:06 am October, 7 Medusa Oblongata said...

That little green bean in the middle wants me. I can see it in her eyes.

10:12 am October, 7 retard said...

Nice “molesterstache” Lonnie.

10:15 am October, 7 The Goob the Bag and the Pudly said...

His hand sign means, “Guess which two of these are actual women.”

10:16 am October, 7 The Goob the Bag and the Pudly said...

How bad must his hairline be to wear a bucket that big?

10:17 am October, 7 The Goob the Bag and the Pudly said...

Sue me!
.
.
.
Pleeaase?

10:18 am October, 7 Medusa Oblongata said...

Rock beats scissors, Lonnie *drops boulder on his head*

10:23 am October, 7 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I think Lonnie is confused about how many cans of soup he gets with that hat. “Is it two, Bro? Can I get one chicken noodle and one cream of mushroom or do they have to be the same? Shit, this is like really hard to decide, you know?”

10:25 am October, 7 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

“So I have to do TWO shifts as the glory hole doily tonight? Fuccken Stackhouse! That shitbag owes me!”

10:41 am October, 7 DarkSock said...

Raise your arms if you’re SURE
.
.
….you’re on Valtrex

10:43 am October, 7 DarkSock said...

I’d like to massage Green Bean’s C7 vertebrae…from the inside…

10:43 am October, 7 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

Fucck off, Lonnie. We don’t care how many of your credit cards got cut up today. It’s nothing to be proud of man.

10:44 am October, 7 Tom Choad said...

Lonnie went clubbing dressed as a large, grey dildo.
.
Plus, I don’t think that’s stubble on his face. I think it’s rim-job residue.
.
.
.
Brunettie on the left is quietly seducing me.

10:51 am October, 7 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

Bruno “too tall” Menard in the back waited anxiously for the roofies to kick in.

10:53 am October, 7 tall guy said...

And you can bet underneath Lonnie’s hat lurks a prominently glistening mark of the bag.
Brunette on left is indeed hottness. Greenie in middle too!

10:54 am October, 7 Eliza Douchecoo said...

@medusa 10:06
She is obviously looking right at me with those come hither eyes, there’s no else around, she must be lookin’ at me.

10:55 am October, 7 douche bagel said...

im missing a lampshade… anyone seen it?

11:07 am October, 7 Nancy Dreuche said...

Lonnie to waitress:
“I’ll take two Appletinis sweetie. What? Those are for me, who knows what these bitches want.”

12:10 pm October, 7 system of douche said...

This picture makes me sad. Sad for Suzy, who got cheated by nature in the chest department. In turn, cheating me out of what could have been a fulfilling view. Sad for Suzanne, who spends her time looking at the right and left sides of her. Sad for Sue, who despersately wants to go home and decon.

And most of all, I’m sad for Ear Tuck Lonnie With the Moronic Hat. ‘Cuz once the bouncers find out he’s 15, they are going to kick his ass.

12:11 pm October, 7 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Will the really, really Slim Shady please stand up.

1:05 pm October, 7 Tony Ventresca said...

I’m a sucker for a shaved armpit photo.
Not sure why, but there it is.

1:21 pm October, 7 Deltus said...

Hot on the left would completely own me. I ain’t ashamed to admit it, either.

7:59 pm October, 7 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Lonnie may be busting a move, but I’m not at all sure he has the jizz to move busts.

8:32 pm October, 7 Guid is Good said...

Two out of three ain’t bad.

8:02 am October, 8 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

At this moment a gang marched in and yelled, “who wants to die first” Look at the reacton on the right!! Douche wets himself and begs for peace

8:37 am October, 8 Anonymous said...

Better check the right for outdoor plumbing…

10:23 am October, 8 Bagwood said...

I hope the title was an obtuse reference to one of the all-time great instrumental tracks: “Lonnie On The Move” by Lonnie Mack. If not, it’s a psychic phenomenon.

5:25 pm October, 8 Steve L. said...

i think i can see blondie’s armpit hair growing back.

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