Monday, October 11, 2010

Maximilian Smell

Maximilian Smell knows what brunette giggle hotties like Kaylie and Heather love.

And what Kaylie and Heather love is the smell of sweat, Old Spice and Bud Light Lime.

# posted by douchebag1
2:13 pm October, 11 jonezy said...

And Prep H farts

2:19 pm October, 11 End the Haberdouchery said...

Neo was getting bored with loading guns into the matrix. Today he was going to destroy Agent Smith using nothing but a generic shirtless douchebag with two skanks and a futon.

2:22 pm October, 11 Blinded by the Shite said...

I love the smell of boobies in the morning. And midday, afternoon, early evening, twilight, dusk, midnight and dawn.

2:22 pm October, 11 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Oh, black bikini MILF, you look like you need to be rescued from being pink bikini’s wingwoman. Come with me, I don’t bite.

Much…

3:05 pm October, 11 Wedgie said...

And they love the smell of Astroglide.
Don’t forget, hookers are people, too.
Right, Smelly?

3:12 pm October, 11 Medusa Oblongata said...

Nice scissor gesture. Here, cut my paper. And by cut my paper I mean put your mouth on the barrel of this here shotgun.

3:38 pm October, 11 Et Tu Douche? said...

Kaylie MILF is Hott!!!!,

3:40 pm October, 11 Douchey Lewis and the News said...

This guy looks like a guinea pig. Get it Guinea…
It’s ok I’m Italian so I can make jokes like that.

4:03 pm October, 11 Vin Douchal said...

Ayyy, I’ve got twooo …. two gals posing with me ….. ‘cuz I had twoooo,……… two twenties, …Ayyyy…… nice place you got here….

4:08 pm October, 11 Southern Scrotic said...

That black bikini would look just right hanging from my bedpost.

4:15 pm October, 11 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

You know when you go grocery shopping and you’re in the meat section and there is always that case that contains stuff you can’t identify right away? It always turns out to be shit like tongues and distended livers and the odd hog leg. I have fun chasing Mrs. Doc Bunsen around yelling things like “Aw c’mon, I heard that pig trachea-cow spleen sausage cures gout! Jeez you’re such a pussy!” It’s usually followed by a smack upside the head (deservedly) and the manager threatening me with being banned from the store. You know, the usual stuff. And then I saw this picture. I have no idea where they got the parts for it but whatever they’re trying to stuff in a pair of white shorts and putting “bling” on ain’t making me want to chase anyone around with it. Ever.

4:17 pm October, 11 CBS said...

Choado Shabat looked into the empty bath tub and peed. Another fruitless night out when it had looked to be in the bag. When would he figure out how to secure a mate? He thought for but a moment about harvesting his lower horn for a midnight snack. When would the hughmons realize he was not in fact one of them? The clock was still ticking but his time was running out. He slumped into the corner of his empty apartment’s dingy bathroom and tried to peel off his skin to reveal his natural craggily crustaceous complexion. He quickly realized that the axe spray and grease had fused his disgustingly faggotish white shorts to his chia pet like barbed genital sores. He pulled harder but recoiled and cringed like a pathetic coward. It was futile. He thought of the lower horn once more and reached up to the sink to grab at a razor blade. It was covered in chin fung from earlier in the night. The stench made him throw up all over himself. He realized he could pass for a dobbelganger of Pizza the Hutt. Before he had time to shart himself into unconsciousness, it was one smooth motion as he ran the straight razor into his gay ear, which just happened to be the right one. He then stuck his thumb in the left ear blew air out of his lungs without actually opening his mouth. In effect he had successfully hot wired himself. This activated his starter and he was fired up. He prepped his anoose for launch and thought about his return home. It would be glorious indeed.

4:20 pm October, 11 Indiana Choad and the Temple of Douche said...

Black bikini MILF will appear in my dreams. Smell will appear in my nightmares. And I’ve just learned that Justin Bieber will appear at Wrestlemania. There is no god.

4:31 pm October, 11 Vin Douchal said...

Ayyyy …. so where’s da lasagna? ….

5:49 pm October, 11 system of douche said...

How is it possible that this ball licker seems to not have ONE hair follicle present?

Yo, Ton’…wanna get dem sunglasses back to your Mom? Capisce?

7:10 pm October, 11 Meander said...

“And what Kaylie and Heather love is the smell of sweat, Old Spice and Bud Light Lime.”

They really, really do.

7:23 pm October, 11 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Dude has tits like my dad. My dad is 84.

7:42 pm October, 11 doucheywallnuts said...

I’m amazed that there’s not a tattoo in sight. Also, do people like this live in an alternative universe where there are big, fluffy couches and the nothing in the background but blinding whiteness?

8:41 pm October, 11 dbBen said...

Youguyz r WEAKNESS!!!! Get out ur moms basements and quit bein haters!!!! I bet YOU has ever been with a woman!!! Mad props to this BRO for getin some grade-A prime!!! If any of you had any BALLS at all you’d say this to his face!!! OUT!!!
.
Thanks for indulging me. I’m just trying on my Halloween costume. I can’t decide if I’m going to be a troll or that one vegas douche. Vegas ab sniffer or whatever.

9:01 pm October, 11 Steve L. said...

can this guy even pronounce “Maximilian”?

9:03 pm October, 11 Steve L. said...

another two quality hotts lost to Bud Light Lime.

10:14 pm October, 11 Fatness said...

Grey Goose bottles at worn-out bars;
Self esteem is in your way.
That’s too much fung and too much dung
Look whose lauging there behind you.
.
Ooh, ooh that smell
Can’t you smell that smell?
Ooh, ooh that smell
The smell of douche surrounds you.
.
Yeah.
Angel of doucheness is upon you.
Stuck a needle in your arm (those tatts, phew!)
So pump another fist, find a bro you can blow,
Your fwippy hair, fool, would crown you. (douche, yeah)
.
Ooh, ooh that smell
Can’t you smell that smell?
Ooh, ooh that smell
The smell of douche surrounds you.
.
Now they call you prince baggling.
Can’t speak a word when you’re full of ‘tudes.
Say you’ll crush that pussy come tomorrow, but
that pussy might be huntin’ you. (yeah, you)
.
Ooh, ooh that smell
Can’t you smell that smell?
Ooh, ooh that smell
The smell of douche surrounds you.
.
Aw, you, fool, you.
You spray that Axe shit on your arm
Where’s the hott you’re trying to score?
.
One little problem that confronts you,
Got a mocker on your back.
Just one more post, Lord, might do the trick.
We’re laughin’ at you failin’ to get your kicks. (hell, yeah)
.
Ooh, ooh that smell
Can’t you smell that smell?
Ooh, ooh that smell
The smell of douche surrounds you.
.
Ooh, ooh that smell
Can’t you smell that smell?
Ooh, ooh that smell
The smell of douche surrounds you.
.
Oh, you, fool, you
Don’t stick your ramblings on the ‘net.
You’re just a fool, just a fool, just a tool.

1:15 am October, 12 Douchetacular said...

pronounce it…maybe. Spell it…not a chance.

sweat, Old Spice, Bud Light lime and the off-chance an eternally dispensing ATM machine will be in the offing.

4:48 am October, 12 Sack of fishtits said...

No penis here!

5:50 am October, 12 Anonymous said...

Pornstar Lisa Ann’s sisters.

7:01 am October, 12 The Goob the Bag and the Pudly said...

Doughy douche wants the cameraman to pull his fingers. Resist, camera dude! It smells bad enough in here already!
.
Yeah, I’m digging the MILF on the left, too. She gets two thumbs up from me. And you can probably guess where.
.
Heather, on the other hand (though not literally), is a Bleethy blow-up doll. Her boobs and lips are obviously injected with non-natural substances, and she wears the giant car-windshield sunglasses to keep people from staring at her lazy eye. Ugh!

9:18 am October, 12 Captain Scrote Sparrow said...

I just started a game of tug-o-war with my acorn soldier… The Capt. likes the pink boobies, and would like to be the chowder in “girl on left”‘s clam.

9:19 am October, 12 Captain Scrote Sparrow said...

ohh yeah, and he’s a douche!

9:30 am October, 12 boatbutter said...

Kaylie for HoH… STAT!

9:35 am October, 12 Wheezer said...

@Fatness, 10:14 p.m. –
.
Nice!

9:38 pm October, 12 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Classic choad with the thick body here, and even pre-dating total douchebaggery because I can’t see a single tatt on his exposed skin; but his necklace more than makes up for that.

Hotts are indeed hott. Gurgle, gurgle.

10:33 pm October, 12 fatness said...

Thanks, Wheezer.

5:09 am October, 13 Motorcycle Accessories said...

Today, Smith would destroy the agent using nothing more than a generic douchebag shirt with two foxes and a futon.

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