Friday, October 1, 2010

More Responses to Toronto’s Kleenex Mafia

Toronto’s douchal infection has provoked much debate on HCwDB and many emails. Reader L.L. writes in with another perspective:

————
Hey there,

I live in Toronto and know the kleenex douches. One thing you need to emphasize about these guys is that they in fact are not from Toronto or Canada at all. They are actually New Yorkers who brought their douche-dom north of the border.

So please don’t blame Canada. They are not our product.
— L.L.

—–

The city that allows poobaggery to flourish is indeed responsible for their flourishment, L.L. Toronto is not exempt for contributing to the amplification of douchebags like Mark and Sergio. hitting on quality Canadian munchable hoser hotts.

# posted by douchebag1
11:18 am October, 1 tall guy said...

The real question is why do munchable hoser hotts even want to be seen with the likes of Kleenex.

Also, he looks really gay. (not that there’s anything wrong with that).

11:19 am October, 1 mr.reeve said...

Toronto, you get no pass here. Your douche. Your problem.
The hot in this picture is outstanding. This is why you get no pass, Toronto. Take action and keep these ‘bags away from your women. Act NOW!!

11:21 am October, 1 Jimmy said...

The chick in this pic is smoking hot

11:22 am October, 1 Turdacious said...

Watch the KINGS OF KLEEN bring you from start to finish when planning THE BEST PARTIES IN THE CITY – and all the other personal garbage that gets in the way.

Pick out the 2 words that says it all

11:34 am October, 1 Musicman said...

I live near Toronto, and Toronto is not exempt from douche…

Remember bag hunters, Toronto brought Dimitri into this world. Don’t forget about that.

11:35 am October, 1 CBS said...

hahaha. these poor bastards are just getting shredded like a porn anoose. and deservedly so.

11:44 am October, 1 CBS said...

why do hotts want to be around douchebags like kleenex? well hotts look great…but what’s between the ears…not even common sense, so that could answer the question and this could corroborate that answer

11:46 am October, 1 tall guy said...

Hmm, that’s a theory, CBS.

11:49 am October, 1 system of douche said...

I always wear a satin vest with my tight T-shirt, like Pinnochio Kleenex here.

There is something very disturbing about the chest shave reveal. Maybe I’m comparing cleavages with the hott (and hott she is!).

11:56 am October, 1 Blinded by the Shite said...

Nominate Sally for Hall of Hot. I speak in favour of the motion.
.
Nominate Kleenex ‘Bag for Hall of Rot. I speak favour of a bowel motion.

11:56 am October, 1 system of douche said...

After wasting 2 minutes of my life reading about the antics of these self-important narcissistic turds, I am sad. Sad that society frowns upon selective euthanization.

At least they are in Canada.

11:58 am October, 1 Mr. Biggs said...

DB1, I have to side with LL here. It’s like blaming someone for catching a cold, while their coworker’s sneezing all over the place. If we are to combat the spread of this disease, we need to approach it with all the precision of professional epidemiologists.

That’s right. I’m talking about a quarantine on NYC.

11:58 am October, 1 Stephanie said...

Well, how do you know LL is really from that area? Did you look at the web address isp?
But isn’t that something,you can’t make it in New York so you go to another city and try there huh? Um why not,that’s the American way. Go to another city and redefine yourself.

Maybe I’d get a nose job first though….that’s just me.

11:58 am October, 1 Mr. Biggs said...

Dude it’s no accident that for Scott Pilgrim to defend his love he has to kill the NYC douchebag transplant.

11:59 am October, 1 Deltus said...

Toronto (and I live close enough to Toronto, I feel okay speaking for it), we didn’t create these douches, but we’ve allowed them to become the uberstank they have through inattention and apathy. Look at the exceptionally high quality hott he’s sullying in that pic. That is some of our finest hottmeat right there, and yet there’s nary a Mountie in sight, in full riot gear, taking him out for crimes against humanity (Obscene Sullying of Uberhott by Malicious Choadmunch). No, this is our mess now, and we have to clean it up.

12:00 pm October, 1 Charles Ulysses Farley said...

Canada, you also gave the world Celine Dion, Bryan Adams, and Neil Young. You have much to apologize for.

12:01 pm October, 1 Deltus said...

A quarantine on NYC might be necessary, but you’d have to include close parts of New Jersey, and Toronto in there too. The infection spread too much. Niagara Falls might have to be included as well. It’s just…. it’s sheer tragedy that we didn’t catch it sooner.

12:02 pm October, 1 CBS said...

this is a hoTTTTTTT http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GU55ooc2oR0&feature=related what good guy wouldn’t be interested in hooking it up with this chick…hot and fucking hilarious. no idea what her name is but if i did i would already be facestalking her

12:03 pm October, 1 Turdacious said...

@charles
Neil Young?..really

12:04 pm October, 1 Mr. White said...

NYC sends all its garbage to New Jersey and Pennsylvania. (Actual trash–not human trash. Although that too…) Makes sense that they ship some of their douche to north of the border.
.
This hott’s mustache is distracting me a little, but who am I to judge? I’d still pee in her butt.

12:06 pm October, 1 Mr. White said...

@cbs
As far as I can tell, that girl’s performance isn’t that far off from the “winners” on that show.

12:07 pm October, 1 Stephanie said...

Neil Young is awesome,you can’t include him,dammit.

12:16 pm October, 1 Turdacious said...

@CBS
Crazy Mary: Funny freakin chick

12:16 pm October, 1 CBS said...

@white

Bahaha. yup pretty much. reality tv is pretty sick…most pretend it is about rooting for winners or favourites but it is actually a sad kind of schadenfreude…people watch to see others fail and have their hopes and dreams crushed and the best proof is in the musical career of Clay Aiken and the non existent entertainment careers of countless other reality series “winners”

12:17 pm October, 1 Vin Douchal said...

Fuck these two bottom dwelling whoremongers
.
Throw them fuccen Brazilians in there , too. And fucking BING while your at it.
.
I clicked on the MSN.com Bing link for “Brazilian Blowout” expecting a cool video of maybe 300 dirty and poor natives on a double decker bus suited for 37 people going over a muddy rock strewn cliffside road because of a tire “blowout”
.
Or some hackneyed porn MILF with really bad implants where you can see the folds in her boob bags from any / every sexual position having her bald vagina prolapse and “blowout”
.
Or maybe some old , cool ogrish.com footage of a bridge in Brazil getting exploded and sending anti-government forces flying into the ravine below from the “blowout” …
.
But, no, it’s a stupid hair style , puh-leez.
.
The interent has lost some of it’s wonder, folks, nothing shocks anymore. Not even shitty ‘Nuck douchebags

12:20 pm October, 1 Fatness said...

@Charles Ulysses Farley 12:00 pm October, 1,
.
Neil Young is more than the screechy voice, Bryan Adams is annoying but not excruciating, and Celine Dion had the sense to quit before the world stoned her off the stage. I can give them a pass since the US has vomited worse into pop culture.
.
Canada’s inexcusable crime against humanity is Nickelback.

12:32 pm October, 1 Wheezer said...

I fart in the general direction of the Kleenex Mafia and then wipe my ass with them to make sure.
.
Off to work for ol’ Wheeze – enjoy the Pear!

12:34 pm October, 1 Turdacious said...

hmmm i like nickelback too

12:44 pm October, 1 Captain Scrote Sparrow said...

Curiously it looks like he is checking her for a tucked penis… Only when he finds Sheila is a Helia will the evening get started.

12:48 pm October, 1 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I skipped the previous comments. I will email these fags to see how they respond to us.

Their response, if received, will be hilarious and gay. I talked to a semi-douche high school friend of mine who hangs around with a lot of classic middle-aged single douchebags. He was in Toronto around the time of the film festival and met the Canabags at some event. Gay.

12:55 pm October, 1 Soupy Samwich said...

I just heard that someone sent the Kleenex Mafia an email about how famous they are in one circle.

12:56 pm October, 1 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Fatness.
I got two words for ya: Justin Bieber. ‘Nuf said.

12:56 pm October, 1 Sack O Douche said...

Are we sure this dude isn’t gay? God damn this hott leads me to the men’s restroom for some “research” time.
Canada, you failed again. You are America’s retarded cousin.
Neil Young sucks in my opinion. To each their own.

1:05 pm October, 1 Doc said...

canada should only have to apologize for giving us troy tempest. america should apologize for giving the world phah. and mongolia should apologize for giving us dorksock.

1:07 pm October, 1 Doc said...

oh and canada should also apologize for rush which is the worst band in the entire world.

1:12 pm October, 1 Doc said...

Australopithecus Afarensis should apologize for ever procreating and giving us Phah and Troy Tempest

1:13 pm October, 1 Doc said...

hey waitaminit. when did i start capitalizing my words? hmmmmmm.

1:14 pm October, 1 Doc said...

In other news I saw Phah and Fishslap in the closet making babies.

1:20 pm October, 1 Doc said...

i saw mr. white and phah humping a tricked out volkswagon rabbit. they were face to face and making kissy lips as they went about their business.

1:22 pm October, 1 Doc said...

I saw phah and mr white double teaming medusa. the resulting sight was so ugly I went blind.

1:24 pm October, 1 Doc said...

i saw mr. scrotatohead and crucial head touching each other’s lil’ heads at a deadhead concert.

1:26 pm October, 1 Doc said...

i saw bcs raping jay louis with a mrs. buttorsworth bottle in downtown cleveland while massengill look on with feigned disinterest.

1:30 pm October, 1 Doc of Coc said...

^Doc is DarkSock’s head cheese.

1:32 pm October, 1 Doc said...

i saw tory tempest blowing sean hannity in the alley behind a tea party rally. and you thought that puppet was libural?!

1:44 pm October, 1 Doc said...

i’ve seen fire and i’ve seen rain but i pray to god i don’t have to read a comment from wheezer again.

2:27 pm October, 1 Sir David Douchenborough said...

Someone mentioned to me that Toronto sometimes wants to be like New York. I think this was not what he had in mind.

2:43 pm October, 1 Doc said...

I saw troy tempest posting comments on chowhound about the ms butterworths bottle that was in the rectum. he called it chocolate maple syrup.

2:53 pm October, 1 Doc said...

i saw vin douchal and jacquie doucheteaeo fellating each other at a toby keith concert while toby sang the song “i fucked my cousin last night and i liked it” by katie parey.

2:59 pm October, 1 Doc said...

i saw baron vongoloo masturbating in a theater to the taylor lautner scenes during the twilight premiere. he plans to put team taylor sickers all over his douchebags of the living dead museum this year.

3:03 pm October, 1 CBS said...

i saw doc shredding up his joint in a pain olympics outtake with rusty tweezers and then screaming out as the vein got felted into his scrotum and it sounded much like a pig being stuffed with too many murdered hookers too fast.

3:08 pm October, 1 Doc said...

i saw cbs posting stuff on an internet forum that was neither funny nor as “extreme” as he intended it to. then he went home and blew his pet great dane named ronald reagan.

3:12 pm October, 1 Doc said...

i saw doc bunsen honeydouche and douchie houser md playing doctor with each other while mr biggs sang “old rugged cross” in soprano in the kitchen.

3:27 pm October, 1 Doc of Coc said...

Doc loves to bleed cum from his rectum while Vegass Ass Fucker licks it up with a spoon made from real ancient Mayan witch doctors bones while boating on the gay cruise line named “S.S. Felacio Cockk”. True story.

3:45 pm October, 1 CBS said...

i wasn’t try to be as funny as i was attempting to get a real read on you. but it was funnier than all your pointless digressions. and extreme is what i would do to you not what i would say

3:48 pm October, 1 CBS said...

it seems doc didn’t have mommy wipe his ass enough or get enough of his innocent question answered by dad when he was a kid. the guy has a one dimensional mind more than a one track mind. if it isn’t about two people engage in something with a phallus connected it really isn’t written by him. borrrrrrrinnnngggggggggg.

i saw blah blah licking blah from blah blah’s overly enlarged blah. and then they both used a blah to wash off after

3:53 pm October, 1 Doc said...

what would you do to me cowpoke? i can make you disappear just like i did too phah when he talked lip to me back when this site first started. i made captain bringdown run away screaming like a girl too. and don’t get me started on plinky and buffalo beast. i made them pay with silence and utter darkness. don’t you dare get prissy with me young toddler!

3:55 pm October, 1 Doc said...

someone has their panties in a wad. lol!

3:55 pm October, 1 CBS said...

i saw many readers scrolling past docs insights without a second thought and then he took the horse’s head in godfather and skull fucked it in front of a classroom of 8 year old hermaphrodites that were busy masturbating their anuses with their shafts. after that orgy mother rape kief bamboozled the shit log hanging from tantamount mystery bog swillers left nut….darrrrrrrr i thought and talked in tourettes gibberish…i’m so original and cool.

3:56 pm October, 1 CBS said...

son…do you think i care about what you can and cannot do. i am here for the mock and if i wasn’t here by force i would mock that.

3:57 pm October, 1 Doc said...

i am trying my best to write as badly as cbs so no one can understand what i’m saying. flyteeth is more understandabull.

3:59 pm October, 1 Doc said...

“bamboozled the shit log hanging from tantamount mystery bog swillers left nut”
hey you finally said something funny. lol. yay! xoxo.
toodles!

4:00 pm October, 1 CBS said...

i can’t believe you would list off such accomplishments. one, i don’t know who those people are. two, unless they are writing something funny, witty, interesting or intelligent here…i dont care who they are.

i turned the format on you. you lashed back. i can keep going. but you aren’t good at this and people will get bored of reading it. i’m too mean and not funny enough and you just aren’t funny

4:04 pm October, 1 CBS said...

i write. that is what i like to do as a hobby. i don’t babble. a whole other world of inside joke gibberish is great but it isn’t some vip club that you bounce unless you are a desperate enough loser to need to be validated in such a way. get over yourself bc the accolades you are purporting are of the nature of a feral child’s vocabulary.

4:05 pm October, 1 CBS said...

but dont worry doc. i love you anyway

4:16 pm October, 1 CBS said...

probably most of the authors here have their own fictional worlds to attend to. characters and funny stories about epic fails in the story of existing…but if it is always poopoo caca penis in anus with cheese..i just tend to get bored. yeah i wanted a fight. i do that too much. it just got boring bc i was proly the only person who read all of your comments here. my fault. everyone else knows to leave well enough alone. i need to learn.

4:19 pm October, 1 CBS said...

btw my pet is WolfBearBull and he’s too nice a guy to start raping…so don’t worry. but he def would turn you into a bully stick and you would stink like ass and protein bugs would make you their playground. WOLFBEARBULL is REAL!!!

6:13 pm October, 1 SD said...

They are from NY?? What explains that strong Canadian twang every time these douchies talk? Sorry, but I see NYC douchebags all the time… these guys are all Canadian.

7:39 am October, 2 Wedgie said...

Hottie & Gaybag.

8:18 am October, 2 Doc said...

i saw cbs writing once and it was terrible.

8:34 am October, 2 Baleen said...

As a third string reg around here, I can say this, CBS has mad skillz and could well be on his way to the Hall of Mock. Well played sir. Doc, on the other hand is fuccen hatter hater thus supporting the cause of choadwanks everywhere and is to be summarily ridicululed as necessary.

8:38 am October, 2 Baleen said...

Doc is like that morning turd that will refuse to dissapear after three flushes. That or the elusive stench of cat pee.

10:13 am October, 2 Wedgie said...

Hey, I must be lost. I thought this was HCWDB.
BTW Baleen congrats on that third string ranking; at least you are suiting up for the game.

11:18 am October, 2 Doc of Coc said...

I saw doc eat a cockk while trying to mockk but he failed. lol! xoxo
suck it!

11:18 am October, 2 Doc of Coc said...

I would bet that doc is DarkSock on acid. just a hunch i have. what?

12:30 pm October, 2 DarkSock said...

DarkSock on acid would be….redundant.
.
Medical Fact.

12:31 pm October, 2 DarkSock said...

@ Charles Ulysses Farley:
.
I have no truck with Neil Young; however, as a Southern Man I don’t need him around, anyhow.

12:44 pm October, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Doc likes the feeling of oysters sliding down his throat. Not because he likes oysters.

9:48 pm October, 2 Baleen said...

@Wedgie
Unfortunately,I end up collecting the dirty jock straps when everyone’s done mocking. But you gotta start somewhere.

11:13 am October, 3 Steve L. said...

i, for one, would like to strip these guys of the title of “Mafia”.
because even mobsters have a code of honor. y’know, leave women and children alone and all that.
you hear that, you un-Kleen pieces of shit?

6:35 pm October, 4 wolfram74 said...

COLOSSAL HOMOSEXUALS , the pair of them

6:07 pm October, 28 Fotos de Famosos said...

Ella es toda una belleza colossal tiene una cara re linda.

11:04 pm November, 19 colegialas said...

i saw mr. white and phah humping a tricked out volkswagon rabbit. they were face to face and making kissy lips as they went about their business and These Colegialas today are very good

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