Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Nipple Mitch Steals a Kiss from Kelly

While Kelly regrets not going to Wellesley instead of ASU.

# posted by douchebag1
10:46 am October, 26 fatness said...

Nice murse, Mitch.

10:56 am October, 26 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Nice man-purse pud! She’s pulling away from him like he’s creepy uncle Darryl trying to get a christmas kiss / feel-up under the missletoe.

10:56 am October, 26 Eliza Douchecoo said...

I’d recognize that fake smile anywhere Kelly. Like from any number of my exes as they smile while quietly loathing me and my stupid jokes.
If this pic were “Nipple Kelly” it would be far more interesting.

10:57 am October, 26 Justin said...

You beat me to it, fatness, dude’s got a man purse. This guy is begging to be socked in the jaw, and by socked I mean smacked with a padlock in a tube sock.

10:57 am October, 26 Crucial Head said...

If I were a saint, I would suck a toot right out of her butthole and exhale its healing aromas into the nearest cancer ward.
.
But I’d most likely hold that shit like a bong hit.
.
Because I’m selfish like that.

11:01 am October, 26 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The police will now have a clue as to the whereabouts of the Phoenix Kissing Purse Burglar. They have his nippleprints.

Wall Street Journal today reported that Jersey Shore costumes are the hottest sellers for Halloween across your country. No surprise.

11:05 am October, 26 Wedgie said...

Yuck. Don’t get any on you, honey.

11:08 am October, 26 Carl said...

Never-before-seen Red Bull paper cups?

11:13 am October, 26 Et Tu Douche? said...

What’s up the drink ware? Has the ubiquitous red cup been usurped for what looks like a Red Bull cup?
.
I feel bad for Kelly who now has to go and wash her cheek of the nasal spooge that is emanating from Nip Bitch’s schnoze

11:16 am October, 26 Et Tu Douche? said...

You beat me to it Carl

11:18 am October, 26 Medusa Oblongata said...

Gray, loose fit T-shirt. Minimal makeup. Simple, classy hairdo. Even the bag is no-frills. And yet she is a breathtaking angel. Kelly, ur doin it rite. U R doin it so, so rite.

11:21 am October, 26 Vin Douchal said...

Mitch. MITCH! Those people in 32-B want more water! And clear off 33-B you’re costing me , asshole

11:23 am October, 26 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

Inebriated, Mitch was ready for a spirited round of Tune in Tokyo, but Kelly would need a few more drinks. And some chloroform.

11:32 am October, 26 H. Sapiens said...

MMMMmmmmmmm….Kelly you goddess you. I’d take you home to mama, but I don’t like to share.

11:39 am October, 26 Thorax Hammersmith said...

I would tsunami fuck a briar patch just for the opportunity of being vomited on by her maid’s toddling grandson.

11:40 am October, 26 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I saw those fuccking cups at a bar closing party called the “Foundation Club Grey Goose Gala” in Ottawa last week. I was there reluctantly and didn’t want to disclose my indiscretions to those present here. But now that it is out, let me say that you don’t just need the clothes and crazy shit to make a douch(ette), this was formalish. They were all posers, 60k millionaires, and Cougar douchettes. What a rancid bunch of people! All they served was Goose and Red Bull. I gave my regards and left in 30 minutes realizing that the douche is skipping up a generation and a tax bracket with nary a taste of the Goose in hand. Fight on before we elect a Douche Minister up here, eh.

11:40 am October, 26 Teddy Tendergass said...

Her lips are like sugar.
.
And I am a diabetic.

11:41 am October, 26 tall guy said...

Kelly is the hottness. Wonder is she’s quartasian? And look at the goofy face that idiot is pulling. What a knob!

11:55 am October, 26 Wheezer said...

I believe this may be former Kansas Jayhawk/Chicago Bull Kirk Hinrich.
.
Thiugh I’ve been wrong before, according to Matt Stafford…..
.
Threw you a curve, didn’t I? 😉

12:03 pm October, 26 Douche Springsteen said...

Is that Mitch Cumstein? Last I heard he was caught night-putting with the 15 year old daughter of the dean.

12:24 pm October, 26 Wheezer said...

“Thiugh”????? Can someone fix that? Heh heh…..

12:32 pm October, 26 Mr. White said...

Kelly should have definitely gone to Wellesley, especially since it’s right down the road from my house. That way I could stand underneath her dorm window and abuse myself. At least until the WPD came and tazed the hell out of me. It would be worth it, though.

12:41 pm October, 26 Fatness said...

^ if you time it right, the tasing comes at the exact moment of climax.
.
.
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so I’m told.

1:31 pm October, 26 Redouche-Reooze-Repsycho said...

That guy looks like Sean Penn got stuck in character as I Am Sam.
.
.
Use that left hand, Kelly! Grab his insipid neck chain, wrap it around your fist a couple times and yank hard! A skinny twerp like him should only squirm for a couple seconds before it’s over.
.
Then you can use both hands while yanking me. Rrrowr!

1:52 pm October, 26 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

I’ll give you the hott, but where is the douchebag? It is unclear if this is is chest reveal or inadvertant nip slip due to his drunken state and man purse which may not be his because there is a hand reaching int to take it. He may have been holding it while his sister squatted in the bushes. Is our fearless leader only posting this becasue he like the nip slip in and of itself?

2:52 pm October, 26 Fatness said...

Pretty sure that hand is just stealing his wallet…

2:57 pm October, 26 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

“I keep the fuccen cup in my hand AND NOT the pepper spray. Good thing I know how to throw one helluva cocck punch.”

3:02 pm October, 26 douche bagel said...

there was a guy in high school we used to call shmo. shmo was creepy with the ladies and would reach in a grab, rub or awkward fondle on poor drunk, unexpecting hots. we named it the shmo rub.
shmo is back and armed with a murse

3:24 pm October, 26 Deltus said...

She’s at *least* 4 numbers above him.

4:41 pm October, 26 Just Sayin' said...

Kelly wouldn’t be interested in Wellesley unless she’s into lesbians with ‘regular boy’s’ haircuts. Think HIllary.

5:02 pm October, 26 Wedgie said...

I always wondered if you could make a shirt out of a beach towel. Thanks for answering that, Mitchie.

5:31 pm October, 26 Mr. Biggs said...

And his nipple steals a button.

Actually I think this is Kelly’s MRS degree thesis.

9:38 pm October, 26 Steve L. said...

Mitch was probably heavily hazed before he hooked up with Kelly. hazing which involves lots of gay rape.

10:20 pm October, 26 Sir David Douchenborough said...

@ Chad

You witnessed that awful cesspool of feigned luxury and douchiness that is Foundation?! Oh man, that is a running joke in the great Nation’s Capital (like “heaven” which I think folded or Suite 34). There is always a questionable club owner who tries to ‘bring luxury’ to Ottawa only to have it become a joke or a spectacular failure. The only advantage of that ‘fine establishment’ was years ago when the place just in front of it had five dollar martinis.

Anyway, one thing I always wonder is why a skinny douche always pulls the Enrique Iglesias shaved chest nipple reveal. Are they trying to pass them off as athletic swimmers when in actuality they have the strength and athleticism of an asthmatic 10 year old stamp collector?

1:02 am October, 27 Colossus of Choads said...

Kells gives me a special feeling in my semineferous tubules.

10:24 am October, 27 Redouche-Reooze-Repsycho said...

@ Sir David:
Hey! My stamp books were heavy, I’ll have you know!
.
.
*Wheeze! Wheeze!*

7:58 pm October, 27 Douchelips said...

Wow, Kelly is something special. Best real-world-hott I’ve seen on the site recently.

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