Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Pistachio Pavel Ignores Stephanie

Stephanie is all that is tiny nosed about nordic hinterland hottness. She has read a book by Steig Larson. And her hobbies include knitting tiny muffs for cold cats, half-drinking expensive lattes then throwing them away because Oprah is on, and a massive daddy complex.

Pistachio Pete is orange, greasy and burnt.

I need a drink. And it’s only 11am.

But a priest once told me on a golf course after missing the eighteenth hole in a lightning storm that there is no God. So heck with it. Lets drink.

# posted by douchebag1
9:26 am October, 12 tall guy said...

Triple mark’o’the bag on Pistachio Pete. Also, Stephanie’s boobies look delicious.

9:28 am October, 12 Vin Douchal said...

Pete looks like he’s 9 years old posing at the neighborhood pool with his mama. Hey kid, no peeing in the pool !

9:29 am October, 12 jonezy said...

to be fair, it was a Catholic priest, the “18th hole” was not on an actual golf course, and the lightning storm is a permanently repressed memory.

9:32 am October, 12 Nancy Dreuche said...

What’s up with this Cream-Sickle? Oh wait, that’s a dude. Her nose is so tiny she has to smell twice as hard…which is a good thing when standing next to this guy. To her he doesn’t smell half bad. Somebody check my math.

9:33 am October, 12 Wheezer said...

Stephanie has a normal-sized nose. It’s just those welder masks on her face that make it look small in comparison.
.
She could use those things to cover her boobies, though. Hey, I know! Steph, why don’t you take off your top? Well, you know, you could see if I’m right. Take your time.

9:37 am October, 12 clam fist said...

I am trying to gain the same orange color myself by bathing in store brand orange soda. It tickles.

9:37 am October, 12 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Pistachio Pavel Ponders Philosophy, Pedantics, Psychology, Phamacy, Phallics,Prophylactis, Pilgrims, Pteradactyls. Pee-Wees Penis Problems, Paranormal Phychiatry, Probabilties, Pavlov, Pediatrics. Politics, Proctology,Pygmalion, Podiatry, Pedastry, Pornagraphy, Pluto. Performance, Peregrins,Philanthropy, Photoclectricity, Publics, Photons. Pigs, Pumpkins, Prostitution, Perhelions, Poetry,plus presing Polar Perplexities.

Pistachio Pavel picked Pedestian Poo as his major. And by major I mean Public Pool.

9:42 am October, 12 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Do those boobs belong to party girl Ashley? ‘Cuz if they don’t I’m claiming them for my own.

Pavel doesn’t breath much. When he does it stretches his burnt skin so tight it sounds like someone trying to make balloon animals out of Plinky’s Mom’s colon.

9:44 am October, 12 clam fist said...

Y’all got the wrong attitude about the shades. I like ’em. Any thing that makes the chickies see less, helps my cause. Now, I just need a cause……

10:03 am October, 12 Wedgie said...

Photo taken of contestant #6 at mid-winter schnitzel-fest, Copenhagen, Denmark.
He did not win.

10:08 am October, 12 massengill said...

If Frankie Muniz had gone to the douche side…

10:30 am October, 12 Deltus said...

Did he color his hair with the same orange goop? Seems the color is bleeding *up* the forehead.

10:37 am October, 12 Mr. Biggs said...

Weekly. I believe Voltaire said “If God existed it would be necessary to flush him down the toilet via hottie/douchey dialectic.”

10:40 am October, 12 Tom Choad said...

“Hey! You got your androgynous cabana boy in my butterscotch pudding!”
.
.
“No– you got your butterscotch pudding on my hairless boy-band figurine!”

10:42 am October, 12 Redouche-Reooze-Repsycho said...

Mmmmm… perky boobies straining valiantly against the restrictive bikini top. Keep trying, boobies! I know you can escape!
.
Pavel looks like my stool after an all-night Cheetos and carrot juice binge.

10:52 am October, 12 One for the Choad said...

Thanks, DB1, my computer’s anti-virus just flipped the fuck out when this picture popped up. Thankfully, Pavel has been quarantined, and neutered.

11:07 am October, 12 Vin Douchal said...

Stephanie is firm. And by firm I mean I’d like to squish her boobies together and float my personal hot dog between her chest buns, mustard optional

11:31 am October, 12 Troy Tempest said...

Orange you glad you’re not a stupendous douchenozzle like this guy?

11:50 am October, 12 Douche Springsteen said...

Never ask a Navy man if he’ll have a another drink, because it’s nobody’s god damn business how many he’s already had.

11:57 am October, 12 The Goob the Bag and the Pudly said...

Umm, Pavel? A word…
.
Either you’re buying the wrong shade of spray-tan and applying it overzealously, or your liver is failing. Get checked out. You’re going to want to have a liver if you ever hit puberty.

11:58 am October, 12 Turdacious said...

My dog has been sick the last few days and has the shits real bad. he’s on medication and the vet told me to watch when he shits and make sure it gets back to normal.
Normal almost happened about 30 mins ago, it looked just like Pavel here.
Pavel is not a normal shit!

12:15 pm October, 12 massengill said...

Note to self: pick up pumpkins to carve with a very sharp knife.

12:47 pm October, 12 system of douche said...

He is ridiculous and would be Adolf’s wet dream.

She is torturing Lycra.

And I’m quite all right with that.

1:38 pm October, 12 Captain Scrote Sparrow said...

YEOWW! hurry, stare at the gentle curvy boobs before this orange stain burns your retinas! She can only be in his presence thanks to “Amber Vision”.

1:40 pm October, 12 Captain Scrote Sparrow said...

HEY… it’s “ANNOYING ORANGE”.

2:47 pm October, 12 DarkSock said...

Goodbye sober day.

2:53 pm October, 12 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

RUN! THE ORANGE HAS A MIND OF ITS OWN! It has clearly lept from his smarmy body and it is now infecting the chesticles of brave Stephanie. It is sentient and it out to take over all bleethdom!

6:50 pm October, 12 Denny said...

Hey Pavel!! Answer the phone!…Skin Cancer is calling!

7:33 pm October, 12 DarkSock said...

Karl Malden called; he wants his nose back. After it’s been color-corrected.

9:43 pm October, 12 Steve L. said...

what, nobody has ever started drinking whiskey at 8AM on a weekend or a day off?
… not that i’m recommending anyone adopt these drinking habits.

9:45 pm October, 12 Steve L. said...

i remember drinking 190 proof at 10AM. fuck.

9:48 pm October, 12 Steve L. said...

everything about Stephanie (her lips, her nose, and her boobs) says she’s as nimble as a cat, which means she’ll be the perfect ironworker. because, since she’s as nimble as a cat, she can always land on her feet when she falls from heights and stuff.
.
sometimes, being delusional gives you a better fap.

9:50 pm October, 12 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

I swear this young Scandic douchebag is none other than BillyRubin.

That, or staring at all these douchebags has really given me a jaundiced eye….

Her? My oh my, nice poppers and side-boob.
Wonder what her BUN is…

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