Friday, October 15, 2010

Smarmy Neil Gets Lucky

I almost wanna give Neil a nottadouche.

Sure Neil’s wearing classic ‘bag ‘beater and busting hand gesture #19.

But the look in his eyes betray the knowledge that scoring Freshman Hott Shannon in the cocktail dress is more good karma than his ancestors have earned.

# posted by douchebag1
9:10 am October, 15 Medusa Oblongata said...

The look in her eyes tells me that she’s going to spend his whole paycheck and then dump him off at home to pull his pud. Godspeed, Neil.

9:12 am October, 15 Mr. Biggs said...

Erm, DB1, that’s douchebag hand gesture #1.

9:12 am October, 15 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Bastard.

9:15 am October, 15 justadouchalo said...

HoH

9:19 am October, 15 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Smarmy Neil looks as surprised as we are that he’s pulling high-quality jail-tail.

9:27 am October, 15 Ted Brogan said...

Cigarettes! Classy…

9:28 am October, 15 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

If only Neil remembered happier times before the peace sign was reversed to whatever it means now. He would have realized that she is his smarter cousin from a gated community only there to visit because her dad fucked off with his receptionist and mom had to get to her roots. Her roots were a run down carport. And Shannon feels something poking into her supple young thigh but is too polite to ruin the best minute of Neil grim life.

Shannon is a doll. Neil nottadouche. And nottatoosmart.

9:38 am October, 15 Nancy Dreuche said...

If this chick doesn’t get into the Hall of Hott I will shit someone else’s pants and then wear them to my baby brother’s W.O.W/Speedball Intervention. Do not test me on this! I will do it!

9:43 am October, 15 fatness said...

Nottadouche…there are a thousand losers in a thousand high schools who look and act just like that but have no follow-through.
Nottahott…for the same reason.

9:44 am October, 15 Douchble Helix said...

She’s too good for him. Hell, she’s too good for me.

Love the little cocktail dress.

9:47 am October, 15 Mr. Biggs said...

This is really what I’d like to call “2nd gen HCwDB.” This spud looks like the spawn of a douchebag who got play by dressing up like some wigga gangsta. So it’s now embedded in this kid’s DNA and he has no idea what a tool he looks like, just thinks it’s standard behavior.

Meanwhile, the hott has been bred by such a coupling as well, so it just seems natural to her to be attracted to this spud.

Good times.

9:52 am October, 15 Eliza Douchecoo said...

At first look it appears that he’s notta, however with society becoming ever so accepting of this behavior its trickled down into the schools where on any given day you will see hundreds of kids that look like this in every high school. If these kids are given a notta pass every time you will soon find we are infested with these kids that you want nothing to do more than to cockpunch. This is where it starts and this is where it needs to stop. Fucck all them and fucck her too, well I’ll do that myself.

9:52 am October, 15 Douche Springsteen said...

This guy is so Alfred E. Newman that I also almost want to give him a nottadouche. “What, me douchey?”

10:01 am October, 15 system of douche said...

It’s embarrassing when your hott weighs in more than you do.

It’s embarrassing when you wear a ‘bag ‘beater and find out the gun show is only a rubber band convention.

10:12 am October, 15 Wedgie said...

Dude, nice pipes. That gym membership ma & pa scrotum gave you is paying off big time.

10:13 am October, 15 Captain Scrote Sparrow said...

Dude looks like old school Ad-Rock?? Hott holding Camel stick is immediately disqualified for stink finger.

10:16 am October, 15 Wedgie said...

^What if she can smoke it with her pooter? Still d.q.’d?

10:20 am October, 15 Eliza Douchecoo said...

Please I could walk through any high school and wave my peter and hit a ton of chicks as hott as this one. She hasn’t been soiled and nobody has sucked the life out of her yet. 90% of high school chicks are hott.

10:20 am October, 15 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

So, if you were casually grunting out a super sized mixture of Slim Jims and egg burritos into the communal pot, and Shannon came in and sat on your lap, wouldn’t you make the same face? Neil, we know, we know, you’re were taking an awesome number two. Next time check the door.

10:21 am October, 15 Wheezer said...

Smarmy Neil is trying to look cockky but realizes he’s two seconds away from busting a nut.
.
Of course, that hottie on my lap would’ve been the highlight of my life as well at his age, cancer stick in hand or no. But I would’ve been smiling.

10:34 am October, 15 Eliza Douchecoo said...

This reminds me of a time when I was in my friends basement and this smokin’ hot chick came over and sat on my lap, that’s all, it just reminded me of it.

10:45 am October, 15 smackdouche said...

Absolutely nottadouche. Make no mistake, he is dying to be a douche, but he’s only an awkward schmuck. Also, having a super hottling sitting on your lap does not equal scoring.

He is 14 at best and that face says, “please don’t stand up! I don’t want anyone to see the wet spot on my pants that smells like bleach”

10:48 am October, 15 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Where’s Fenton? WalMart called they need a pick up at cash 13.

10:52 am October, 15 Mr. White said...

Giving this guy a nottadouche is like punching a baby seal in the face. It’s just wrong.
.
He’s plenty douche. As already cataloged, he’s wearing a wife beater and his arms like chicken wings. And that fuccen face. Don’t be smarming it up when you’ve got a hott on your lap that’s at least two standard deviations above your station in life, asshat. Considering that he’s grinding his mini-sausage into Shannon’s backside, I would be willing to accept a slightly off-skilter smile that betrays the jizz-in-progress in his pants, but smarmy face and peace sign? Show some respect, prick.

11:12 am October, 15 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

He’s worse than a douchebag, he’s trashy.
And so is that cigarette ready to tap ash into the torn knee of the jeans wearer.
These puds would get kicked out of a truck stop.

11:36 am October, 15 douche bagel said...

neil is well… meh. the hand gesture and face contort are feigned and awkward. he seems perplexed as me that a moist nugget such as her would end up on his lap. he still needs a good slapping but good for you neil. she is groin swell worthy

11:50 am October, 15 H. sapiens said...

Neil’s eyes reveal his concern while his fingers count how many body openings will be inflamed by morning once his boyfriend catches him flirting with the other team.

12:07 pm October, 15 tall guy said...

Shannon is very young. I predict that as she grows older she will also grow outwards. Developing an eating disorder is also a strong possibility.

12:25 pm October, 15 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

So that face means two premature ejaculations since she sat on his lap? Or there are two more coming? It seems she doesn’t notice anyway because he’s hung like a tic tac.

12:55 pm October, 15 Deltus said...

That might not be smarm. That might be a weak, failed attempt at hiding the obvious fear in his eyes. Fear caused by him having not a clue what to do with a hott that, as Mr. White aptly pointed out, is two s.d. above him.

2:12 pm October, 15 Medusa Oblongata said...

Smackdouche 10:45 FTW

3:31 pm October, 15 Stephanie said...

What is this, high schoolers in Missouri? Waste of my time.
Ironic isn’t it?

7:19 pm October, 15 Douchble Helix said...

Old enough to smoke, old enough to poke.

5:04 am October, 16 Blair said...

Mike D in the place to be says “YEAAAAHHH”

9:02 pm October, 16 Steve L. said...

Neil is the reason why high school sucks for 90% of the male population.

9:26 pm October, 16 iDouche said...

His expression is trying to say ,
That this happens to him every day,
But gesture ,cap, vest,
He’s a scroatling at best
Three strikes you’re a douche , on your way.

8:45 pm October, 17 Anonymous said...

Yeah, that’s his sister.

11:29 pm October, 17 kid said...

Lol. I went to high school with her.

5:39 am October, 20 Anonne Huntress said...

Nottahott, skimpy dress notwithstanding. Mannish face and cigarettes, fail.

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