Sunday, October 3, 2010

Tool Time with Timmy and Kevin

Watch for the very slick and patented “douchebag double switch” move at :49 seconds.

EDIT: and for those needing a little hott to counterbalance the choadlings, here’s greased up Yasmine Bleeth making out with Johnny Rico.

# posted by douchebag1
8:20 am October, 3 Wheezer said...

And you know damn well that these asshats and their “posse” will be around to condemn us for “living in our parents’ basements” while we give them the mocking they deserve…..
.
But I did find it odd to hear “jurisprudence” spoken in a Jerz accent. Yes, I sat through this that long, and with the sound on. I’m signing off now to jam some needlenose pliers into my eyes and ears.

8:31 am October, 3 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Insane Clown Pussies,

9:01 am October, 3 Troy Tempest said...

The Horror…

9:07 am October, 3 Ohio FJ said...

St Vitus Dance?

9:35 am October, 3 DarkSock said...

It has been said that writing about music is like dancing about architecture; in other words one medium is a poor descriptor of another.
.
.
.
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But apparently you CAN Frolic about Sodomy.

9:40 am October, 3 Mr. White said...

Yeah, they’re GITs all right.

9:40 am October, 3 CBS said...

do they hold each other’s cocks at night?

9:42 am October, 3 CBS said...

i thought i heard homer simpson for a moment but then i realized all mongoloid troglodytes sound like that

9:43 am October, 3 CBS said...

someone needs to inform them that they can catch diabetes from being the 668,987th and 459,322th best dancers of that style

9:49 am October, 3 CBS said...

i played these guys online in GTA4 once… they immediately ran for the top of a building with rockets in hand. i went to make lunch, then i checked out some websites, listened to some music, jacked off, took a shower, came back to the tv to turn it off and they were still up on the building pacing back and forth pointing their rpgs around afraid to blow off a round. idle feet are the devil’s playground it seems…and brainlessness doesn’t help.

9:51 am October, 3 CBS said...

who created the theory that stupid hat tilts conceals that you are actually stupid?

9:58 am October, 3 CBS said...

the air hockey paddles are very close to each other indicating that both players were on the same side of the table by the end of the game. conjecture: they were comparing who’s anus is “cuter” by use of oral troubleshoot test and tricknology fart box tongue punch freakuency party

10:15 am October, 3 soy bomb said...

I consider myself to be an open-minded individual. I tend to try and see the other side, to appreciate where someone else is coming from.
.
.
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But Sweet Adult Jesus, I will never understand, nor try to understand why some horned-up, preening douchepuds feel it necessary to film themselves, (chick-free mind you) prancing around their parent’s basement and then post it on youtube. If these were my kids, there would be some 10-35 goin’ on right now.

10:48 am October, 3 Douchble Helix said...

I am officially not a fan of this Sunday film festival that omits the HC from HCwDB.

10:58 am October, 3 Anonymous said...

Another basement turned into a day care.I have a feeling that these are the kind of kids parents leave at the day care and never come back for them. Keep dancing junior, your mommy and daddy are coming back for you soon….very soon

10:59 am October, 3 Steve L. said...

Lucifer is gonna sue for libel. satanic worship is a specialty of certain sub genres of heavy metal. NOT club music.

11:12 am October, 3 Vin Douchal said...

Relatively speaking these guys are the brown spot in the apple, the white things that grow from old potatoes , a piece of popcorn stuck between molars, the dreadful smell of a forgotten carton of milk and an ingrown hair inside your nose.
.
Minor irritants easily handled. Send some girl scouts to whoop some ass and the problem ceases

11:36 am October, 3 Mr. White said...

@vin
Agreed, although let’s not insult potato eyes by comparing these two asshats to them. Potato eyes are just baby potato plants. It’s not their fault they’re weird looking.
.
That said, this video would be approximately 3,000 times more awesome if someone dubbed in the mother’s voice, along the lines of Fran Drescher in timber, screaming, “WHAT ARE YOU DUMBSHITS DOING DOWN THERE??? STOP WITH THE NOISE ALREADY?!”
.
Mmmm….Drescher…

11:38 am October, 3 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Boy, that Fran Drescher sure could pull some hotts.

11:45 am October, 3 tall guy said...

The patented douchebag double switch isn’t merely for show. A throbbing hard-on was the reason dancer # 1 had to move side stage. He needed to release that junk, baby. sans pear nonetheless.

Also, I’m pleased CBS noted the crucially supporting role of stupid hat tilt in this mighty slick production. Well spotted, you!

12:34 pm October, 3 Medusa Oblongata said...

Jumpin’ Jehosophat. Papa Oblongata was an ill-tempered Vietnam Veteran who was easily rattled by loud noise and high activity. He was always screaming at us to “Siddown and shaddap” from the womb until we fled the gulag. I’d love to see how pop would have dealt with seeing his sons acting in this manner. I can hear the sharp zip of his belt being yanked from the loops, and the wet sound of flesh splitting when the leather viciously cracked that first kid across the back of the legs. He’d catch the second one by the neck as he tried to make a dash for the stairs, lift him up and press him against the drywall hard enough to make a slight indentation.
.
“You listen to me, you little shit,” He’d growl, the smell of stale cigarette smoke heavy on his wiry beard. “I catch you screwin’ around like that ever again, I’ll kill ya.”
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Ah, memories. I oughta call my dad today.

12:35 pm October, 3 CBS said...

this is pretty sikk. i mean who wants to watch douchebags in their basement, too feeble to move the air hockey table over, doing nothing more than shuffles and retarded hand puppetry you only expect to see at raves by acid tripping quasi-retards? there is no real talent being displayed by groove turds here and no real contest.

if i could do flares and freezes i would be proud of a certain dance-physical accomplishment…unfortunately my bones are way too heavy and i’m too lazy. but link above is something worth showing off on the internet. i’m 5’9″ and 170lbs and not overweight at all. must be the adamantium

the sad thing is that these guys probably speak with confidence to hotts at parties about their videos online. she wants to believe it is a big deal. she sucks his dick upstairs. finds out later they aren’t a big deal and fucks him once and dumps him three weeks later to own his ass versus what he will try to achieve with the other chicks at school. But fuck! how come those of us that dont lie and have real talent cant get a piece of that?

someone should ask these guys if they have pics of themselves with hotts to defend themselves from the gay label. i would be interested to see what they can pull given their beta male performance here.

12:38 pm October, 3 DoucheBigue said...

To add up on Douchble Helix not liking the Sunday frolic festival as it lacks the HC – would you consider posting 2 videos on Sunday: Frolic pudwhack and Hot Hott?

1:03 pm October, 3 Blinded by the Shite said...

Frolic puts me in the mind of Flight of the Conchords “The Humans Are Dead” fused with some macarena-type shit. That or Macaroni.

1:11 pm October, 3 Blinded by the Shite said...

Mind you the basement air-hockey room at the Y is no doubt the best place to keep this impertinent diarrhea locked away.

1:16 pm October, 3 Blinded by the Shite said...

Greg Giraldo has a message from beyond the grave for these two, though he appears to have confused them for Joan Rivers http://youtu.be/MqIMJqroPLc

1:40 pm October, 3 Wedgie said...

Once when I was a much younger man, my brother & I put Sriracha sauce in my roomate’s jockstrap.
His reaction was remarkably similar to this video.

1:46 pm October, 3 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Medusa

That is a heartwarming story. I’m gonna kick my mother in the nads.

3:53 pm October, 3 Crucial Head said...

… yet another reason why our son’s need father figures in their lives.

3:54 pm October, 3 Crucial Head said...

Apparently, it sometimes takes upwards of two minutes and thirty eight seconds for a headless chicken to die.

3:56 pm October, 3 Crucial Head said...

G-T = Gaseous Twatlings

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5:32 pm October, 3 system of douche said...

When my buddies and I were about this age we were taking apart appliances, lawn mowers and shit to see how they worked. Sometime we got a strappin’ if things ended badly. But we learned something useful either way.

The only thing these turd lickers are learning is how to be useless.

5:45 pm October, 3 Wedgie said...

Hi, check out this amazing adult site.
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6:00 pm October, 3 Troy Tempest said...

@Medusa-

sounds like my childhood. Until I was bigger than him. Then he stopped beating me, and turned to psychological torture. Always more effective.

7:01 pm October, 3 CBS said...

Giants v Bears…let me ask u…is it smart to have a pro sports game in promotion of cancer awareness? and breast cancer? i think it has its place…probowl game or preseason…but honestly i kind of think putting the c word out there when these guys need to be 100% focused is dumb. breast cancer could be hitting home a lot for some players. it could be making some players think tig o’bits…mmm tig o’ bits lol (only half serious about that one). it could have the coaches thinking about their colons, what doc said last week. just keep anything about disease out of a sports game especially the most common disease for the human race…you are just asking for a circus show because of mental distraction and so far that is what this game is tonight.

7:48 pm October, 3 Sir David Douchenborough said...

At the beginning of the clip, I will never understand the appeal of using moves that make you look like an ancient epileptic Egyptian hopped up on valium.

If Imhotep came back to life and saw these wankers, he would beseech Ra to rain down solar flares and fry these douches for reducing Egyptian culture to masturbatory displays of movement to jackhammer music. It doesn’t help that this was done with the two of them alone in a dark basement. Any assertion that they are doing this such that they can show off to the ladies is negated. Are they biding their time before they are of age so that they can pretend that they go to dance nights at the local gay club with their ‘girlfriends’ only to show off ‘their moves’?

7:53 pm October, 3 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

OK, I have to say this FUCKING AGAIN…
.
If I was 15-16 again and shot this video and then let ANY of my friends see it the overwhelming response would be, “What are you, a fag?”
And that’s without putting it on the web for EVERY FUCKING PERSON IN THE GODDAMN WORLD TO POTENTIALLY SEE.
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Jesus H. Christ these little cocksuckers need SOMEONE to tell them to cut the shit.
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.
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CBS… Fuck all this Breast Cancer Awareness bullshit. More women die of heart disease. Yeah, the cans are what sell everyone on donating, so I guess I’m fighting a losing battle here.

7:57 pm October, 3 Sir David Douchenborough said...

Oh, I just went to the youtube link; I forgot that those little Egyptian moves is called “tutting.” Ah, well, they are still horrible at it.

@Troy
Your comment was quite apt and made me laugh quite well. I tip my hat to you sir.

8:34 pm October, 3 CBS said...

i had money on the game. that is my vested interest in what i wrote

8:34 pm October, 3 CBS said...

i had money on the game. that is my vested interest in what i wrote.

8:36 pm October, 3 CBS said...

freudian click. i didn’t have money on it but i helped pick winners for my buddy and i actually called all my others accurately

8:38 pm October, 3 CBS said...

i lost 10k in 2002 sport betting and haven’t put big money on any sports since then. its sad it takes your mom bailing you out beyond your dad’s back to solve a problem that had perhaps less problematic solutions

8:41 pm October, 3 Dex said...

Johnny Rico would like to take this time to remind you that the only good douchebag is a dead douchebag.
He’s from Buenos Aires, and he says kill ’em all!

8:51 pm October, 3 Doc said...

jeezus christ is there anything more annoying on this site than cbs making multiplecomments and trying to get everyone to look at he/she/it? try hardest clown.

9:00 pm October, 3 CBS said...

doc i feel sorry for your mother. you still wont give back her curling iron and i think we all know why.

now if you could take one moment to pull it out of your nasty ripped anoose and burn your fingers to basketcase stubs with it, i think i would be appreciative and perhaps other members (which includes your PED aka penile erectile dysfunction. yes doc…your penis hates you. it screams at night “RAPPPPEEEE” when you go to touch it and it whispers stories to the girls subconscious that makes sure they never end up in that position. your lonely life should be recorded and put on youtube. altho others would say you are so worthless it has no business on the net..i would love to mock you. good night doc and try to stop raping your PED…oh that poor little hideous thing.

9:04 pm October, 3 Doc said...

wow! you obviously you think alot about me and my penis don’t you cbs. sweet… ummm, dreams.

9:05 pm October, 3 Doc said...

10 lines in 9 minutes about my penis. impressive!!! lol. xoxo.

9:09 pm October, 3 CBS said...

i just let the creative juices flow you drip. if you want to have a go at me i will respond. eventually it has to stop bc it can get boring. i think i wrote that already..that people dont want to read two people spitting venom back and forth. the first couple are great tho…so yeah i have to oblige. at the end of this week you have to notice that many thought you were a gaylord for going at antagonizing everyone. they are bigger men than me perhaps. i just love a fight…because i tend not to lose.

9:13 pm October, 3 CBS said...

it was actually a subtle metaphor for the relationship you have with your mother. but yeah doc your penis is really special. you should cut it off have it embalmed and put it beside lenin in the mausoleum so everyone can pay their respects to its greatness. dont forget to give it one last kiss goodbye before parting cocksucker

9:21 pm October, 3 Doc said...

oh poor cbs… you have to realize i have been around, and will be around here for much longer than you. and i have seen far wittier and funny people fall by the wayside. but a gallant effort old chap.

9:27 pm October, 3 Doc said...

“i just love a fight…because i tend not to lose.”
-stackhouse?

9:28 pm October, 3 Doc said...

“i just love a fight…because i tend not to lose.”
-fishslap?

9:28 pm October, 3 Doc said...

“i just love a fight…because i tend not to lose.”
-cbs?

9:30 pm October, 3 CBS said...

ok. but thats all you have said so far and i already commented it. what does fall by the wayside mean? is there some hidden $1,000,000 jackpot db1 hasn’t mentioned for being voted most loved on this site. cmon your dork, you think someone who i don’t know can say something to me over the internet and it has me leave a website. maybe if all the regs were like..yeah doc you the man, you go girl…cbs you suck, unfunny, unwitty douchebag…you should be subject to mock unhealthy minded loser who lives in their parents basement….. i mean yeah i know when i’m not wanted….how come you dont??

9:31 pm October, 3 CBS said...

you could count 10 lines. now read my last 10 words. the end.

9:36 pm October, 3 Doc said...

heh heh heh…

9:37 pm October, 3 Doc said...

i win again…

9:43 pm October, 3 Crucial Head said...

Paging Turtle Boy! Paging Turtle Boy!
.
Fucking Doc’s on the loose again. Someone prepare the padded cell, helmet, and drum of Clozapine.

9:45 pm October, 3 Crucial Head said...

*hick*
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.
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**uuurrrpp**

9:59 pm October, 3 Anonymous said...

How bout that Fall weather?

10:03 pm October, 3 Crucial Head said...

Ain’t that right Anon.
.
Humidity has been thicker than a mule’s placenta. Thunderstorms and record breaking heat out here in Los Angeleeese. Flooding out East. And frolicking in the basements of the ‘burbs.
.
The end is nigh.

10:18 pm October, 3 Baleen said...

Witnessing an online cage match comment thread “I know you are but what am I?” showdown is like watching the little baby kids play Street Fighter at the laundromat. You really don’t give a shit who wins and you would rather some hot single mom park her ass right in front of you while she unloads the dryer.
.
Oh, and thanks boss for the untainted Bleeth. Seeing her body oiled up made me want to break out the rubber sheets for a naked zit popping session with Mrs. Baleen.

10:38 pm October, 3 Bourgeoise Rodburrow said...

I agree Baleen. It’s been seventeen straight Friday nights at the laundromat for me, but that hott single mom still hasn’t showed up.
/
Guess there’s always next week.

11:18 pm October, 3 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Every time I see a pair of whoop-di-doodles like these two, I’m reminded of the huge stage frolic of the musical “CATS” wherein every douchebag pussy looking for a litterbox spends its time rumblin’ ’round that stage in continuous synchronized motion with occasional wild eruptions, and howling the night away in a mass of Jellicle Cats, swingin’ jelly dongs.
Once ya see it, ya canna’ get it outta yer MEMORY.

5:02 am October, 4 Canadian Pharmacy said...

This dance looks like, it is becomes a sort of hip-hop style, But relay this so good style of dance.

6:05 am October, 4 mr.reeve said...

This is what happens when white people make up their own dance moves. The diarrhea dance, river dance and the Vogue mixed into one gay basement night.

6:06 am October, 4 Deltus said...

Yasmine sure had it back in the day. Dayum!

6:55 am October, 4 I love assholes said...

Welcome back, Docckk.

7:13 am October, 4 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

[Pokes head out of bomb shelter, helmet strapped tightly to head.]
.
Has Doc gone home yet?
.
[Closes hatch and goes back to huddling in dark, damp corner.]

12:23 pm October, 4 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ Troy–6:00
Hahaha, yeah life with old pops was a real trip. Unfortunately I never got big enough to kick his ass. But I did come home from partying one night when I was about 19, and I got grilled on why there was an air rifle in the closet. I mumbled something about plinking cans in back, and he took it down to the back 40 and adjusted the scope on it for me. I laid down in the grass and shot a hole clean through the ‘O’ on a Coca-Cola can from 30 yards. I said, “Sweet! Hey, do you know how I can get a FOID card?” (gun card required in Illinois). He didn’t say anything, but he got a lot nicer after that.
.
@ Whoop 11:18 RE Cats: I’ve never seen that Andrew Lloyd Weber piece of crap, but I’m haunted nonetheless. My mother and sister went to see it about 800 times, and played the soundtrack endlessly at home. Fuck, if I ever see that Rum Tum Tugger son of a bitch, I’m gonna make a fur coat out of him.

1:15 pm October, 4 The Puppet Master said...

A couple of retards got loose.

2:42 pm October, 4 Turtle Boy said...

I Like Turtles.

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