Wednesday, October 13, 2010

The Kleenex and Nicola Are Unimpressed

Unimpressed by a second Oldbag entry to compete with in Monday’s HCwDB of the Month, Mr. Kleenex Wipe, Nicola, and some random flunkie had this to say:

Unnnnnnnnghhhhhhhhhhhhh. Make it rain! Blarrrrghhhllle. Yo. Mercedes.

I leave it you to decipher this cryptic challenge to the Krusties.

# posted by douchebag1
9:24 am October, 13 jonezy said...

to remove shit stain, use bleach.
.
in your own eyes

9:33 am October, 13 Wedgie said...

Start shopping in the men’s department; Gap Kids is for kids, dopie.
Nicola, I would like to rub Nutella all over you. And ever so gently, lick it all off.
And I’m not even a Kobe Bryant fan.

9:39 am October, 13 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Hey Nicola! How much is Kleenex Mc.
Girly shirt paying you to make him not look gay. Whatever it is it’s not working.

9:43 am October, 13 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Nice duds you got for your days on shore leave Captain Dickard, is Q fucking you around again? You bald shit grinning ass licker. Do not live long and, well we know you don’t prosper.

9:57 am October, 13 Captain Scrote Sparrow said...

That’s more douche than should be permitted! We need better cameras.

10:03 am October, 13 Mr. White said...

Guy on the right looks like the unholy love child of Gerald Casale and Spike Lee.

10:06 am October, 13 Nancy Dreuche said...

Guy in the back has his eyes on the future. Don’t lose hope man, to get to the good stuff you’ve got to break through the bottom of the shit pile first. In most people’s case its their own inner demons and negativity, but in this guy’s case it’s a literal shit pile.

10:09 am October, 13 douche bagel said...

lensless glasses – check
5lb watch – check
90 degree hat tilt – check
extra long rosary beads – check
fingerpoint – check
ghey tattoos – check
draping v neck that girls wear to sleep – check
mugging a hot – check

this guy wrote the fuccing book

the kryptic message is easy. its the combined thoughts of these two nozzles while taking a shit

10:15 am October, 13 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ Rev 9:43
I am casting that in bronze and putting it above my door. How do you get stuff into the comments hall of fame, mods?
.
Decoded: “My wee-wee hurts.” I’m not sure which of them is saying it, but my money is on the dude on the right. His best friend is Stewart, for God’s sake.

10:16 am October, 13 Charles Ulysses Farley said...

Roided up Sting and Dweezil Zappa need a swift kick in the nuts. With a steel toed boot. With a knife blade attached. Repeatedly. From Tom Dempsey.

10:31 am October, 13 tall guy said...

Ugh! Kleenex.
I’ll raise the afore mentioned ‘do not live long’ piece of advice with my own message of hope to all fellow bag hunters.
wait long by the river, bagsters, and the body of your enemies (every douche in town) will flow by.
Never give in.

10:34 am October, 13 Deltus said...

Ugh. You had to bring up the Kleenex again. Now all I can smell is the poo.

10:38 am October, 13 Douchey Smurf said...

I would like to take a dull butter knife and disembowel every fucking person in that fucking photo… even the chick.

11:00 am October, 13 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

Oh, Nicola. My night with her would include: Cool Whip, a slip-n-slide, a glazed ham, pop rocks, and a banjo.

11:01 am October, 13 Vin Douchal said...

Douche Fan Roundtable with Choad Fitzsimmons, Jillian Bleethery and Andy Dickcheese…
.
.
.

You gotta have Sirius to get that one

12:07 pm October, 13 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Schlongface on the right finally drops all pretense and finally lets the entire world know that he’s goin’ home Cockvein Fivehead tonight and they’re gonna make some sweet, sweet monkey love.

1:02 pm October, 13 DouchYouWannaDance said...

The lesser known brothers of Sting and Elvis Costello use their ace pickup line:

“I can get you in to meet my brother!”

…on drunken Roadie that is too wasted to know the difference.

1:25 pm October, 13 Et Tu Douche? said...

@CUF,

More like Ahmet Zappa then Dweezil. Nicola is a beard
.
Michael Crichton was on to something with the “Andromeda Strain” if only somehow it could be used to infect the D-Bag Populace.

1:41 pm October, 13 system of douche said...

Moronic consumerism at it’s finest.

What’s more disturbing is that this is a promo shot for these piles of shit. I weep for any naive and gullible human who looks at this with any other thought than “why are these life forms still breathing?”

3:50 pm October, 13 massengill said...

If I spoke Yiddish, I’d say the guy on the left in the pic is a “schmekel” and the guy on the right a “putz.” But I don’t speak Yiddish, so I’ll call them a couple of d-bags.

5:36 pm October, 13 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^Cockvein Fivehead is my new greeting for the mailman.

9:07 pm October, 13 Steve L. said...

i’m sure Toronto will be raining Axe hair gel for days to come.

11:36 pm October, 13 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Boy oh boy, they are really showing their douchey side in this photo.

And burning our eyes out doing so.

However, I likey the coffee-bean mark of the douche on his forehead. It’s a lot trendier than the cock-n’ballz design, because it just BEGS grinding.

4:37 am October, 14 Douche Bigelow said...

These two choad stains are just waiting to go home together and snuggle while watching theyre favorite gay porn…Shaving Ryans Privates

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