Monday, October 18, 2010

The Kleenexer’s Best Bro Voted

Looks like The Kleenex ‘Bag is calling in his pro-bros for some support in the HCwDB of the Month.

And trying to turn a brunette party hott into a librarian hott using your hipster glasses violates at least three clauses of NAFTA.

# posted by douchebag1
12:36 pm October, 18 Captain Scrote Sparrow said...

Tina Fey Hott, but just as goofy as Kleenex octadouche

12:51 pm October, 18 fatness said...

Fuck me…those eyes are insane. Way too much in her drink…

1:05 pm October, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

My little girls wear more masculine beads than this hammerhead when playing princess make-believe. What a semen gargling cum drunk fucknut! This guy takes the cock in more ways than Medusa has ever imagined.

1:09 pm October, 18 mills said...

I feel like killing….no i cant their innocent eyes so naive and ignorant of how douchey they really are.. like charlie sheen, he didnt have a clue, he really didnt.. all that drink..poor him jus goes to show drink does cause doucheyness but also a distinct deterioration of self awareness.

1:12 pm October, 18 smackdouche said...

Jesus H. Christ, this guy could be the logo on your HCwDB stationary. And the Slingblade facial expression. She is very nice and I firmly believe that there isn’t a Hott on Earth that isn’t improved with the addition of librarian glasses. Sure, those are fake glasses, but there are many females with fake things that give me pleasure.

1:28 pm October, 18 clam fist said...

A faux librarian hott is still a hott!

1:48 pm October, 18 Nancy Dreuche said...

Now here’s a girl who would benefit from some Holly-style shades.
Holly for HOH

This endorsement for Holly has been paid for by the makers of ShakeWeight.

1:59 pm October, 18 Troy Tempest said...

Him: BLABBALABBA humna ha
Her: nert. nert. nert. nert.

2:20 pm October, 18 Lord Douchebag's Lady said...

ummm… did anyone else notice KBB’s hand is freakishly dainty, and white? WTH??? It’s like his arm has atrophy from the elbow down…

2:48 pm October, 18 Mr. Biggs said...

DB1, thank you for the NAFTA quote. I was going to say the librarian hott look had officially turned bleeth the moment this woman slapped on those frames.

3:12 pm October, 18 I R A Darth Aggie said...

I still want to check out her “books”.

4:19 pm October, 18 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ LDL
.
That’s because his hand is usually up Cocckvein Fivehead’s ass most of the time. Most things grow bigger when the fertilizer is piled on in epic proportions. Unfortunately though there is no light there and hence the freakish whiteness and lack of size. Besides Cocckvein likes it that way.

4:27 pm October, 18 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

After pulling his arm out of Cocckvein Fivehaed’s ass like the birthing of a stillborn calf, Short Bus Bennie is surprised to learn that girls find his chosen profession as a sign language interpreter for deaf chocolate starfish as icky.

4:28 pm October, 18 DarkSock said...

Drew Carey’s career skyrocketed after his sex change and lipo.

4:38 pm October, 18 CBS said...

I just intercepted this letter addressed to Stephanie from one Mr. Kleenex ass wipe feygit.

“Steph,

I just arrived in hell and it is not exactly what I expected. It turns out that when you don’t understand life’s meaning and go through it thinking only about yourself then there is a doppelganger of yourself that rapes all these horrible tranny assholes all over your body, chakras and even the traditional shit sprayer. oh my burning anooses! when will it stop? why won’t i stop raping myself? Steph…please help. I have attached a photo of my first day here. He calls himself Dr. Kleenex and has a giant tremor worm attached to his forehead. it is the most salacious critter I have ever known even amongst all the spineless mudlicking scum posse from our days on King St. Oh well, back to the grind. And by grind I mean my ankles stapled to my ears.

Yours Truly, Kleenexer”

http://picasaweb.google.com/massifesto/KLEENEX#5529532104069496786

4:43 pm October, 18 CBS said...

oh and if you think i’m homophobic…and you are gay…and you realize i am a little more rational about my prejudices and that really really irks you…then i will tell you this. Life being the way it is, is neither your fault or mine. And I dont have to like the arrangement. I believe in nature. Humans have no respect for balance and cooperation.

As for mammals exhibiting homosexuality in natural settings…this is what I know. 8% of sheep are mentally retarded. About 100 species of mammal show examples of social bisexual dominance. The only mammal other than humans that shows pure homosexuality is 8% of sheep…yes the retarded 8%.

draw what conclusions you will. dont care really. these facts are really not part of the basis of my beliefs…just interesting additional information.

5:03 pm October, 18 Nancy Dreuche said...

CBS shoots the straight dope y’all. I saw that same episode of 60 minutes. Those gay sheep are fo’ real!

5:05 pm October, 18 CBS said...

i don’t watch tv. i was just doing internet research. but i will look for the episode to see what you mean??

5:11 pm October, 18 Deltus said...

Good question: is a hott rendered more hott with the addition of librarian hott glasses, fake or not? Could this be a vote, boss?

5:48 pm October, 18 CBS said...

you know nancy..you are probably conscious. and it is hard to spend all day thinking correctly when thoughts are connected to emotions. even an uncomfortable muscle tweak can establish a negative mindset, let alone menstrual pain creating PMS. i dont hate in my head. i evaluate and am rational. i go over information and draw logical conclusions. If you think we have a hundred years of human race left at the rate we are going…awesome!! go have kids and grandkids then. enjoy all that is available. I happen to disagree. I don’t see that kind of amazing future. I don’t know much about genetic gays (that is who you are running to the defense of). I know that child rapists in jail admit to being homosexual at a totally disproportionate ratio to homos in society. something between 33-38% confess to being homo despite supposedly it being only 10% of people as homo in society. rape as procreation perhaps? not sure. but i will tell you this as a straight male. If you are a genetically straight dude then your sexual thoughts and feelings should be toward women. If you are a weak personality surely we accept the idea that you will find yourself doing things that are not true to you as much. so if you aren’t a racist and you don’t really feel that way inside…obviously you are showing weakness to start nigger tirades or call rap, “nigger noise” or feel good when you read a story about a black pimp having his penis chopped off by a whore. you want to act right. you dont want to hate people of a different race for being different. but you are being weak minded and therefore the untruth about you is dominating what is shown and what develops mentally. homo thoughts are out there everywhere. if you have sexual energy, round the corner of the street, see a big butt in your face 100 feet away…consider it the neighbor’s wife..getting closer…spread those big cheeks…oh shit…fuck…it’s the neighbor. that’s human. you scold yourself mentally, if you are confident or strong. you know who you are. you made an honest mistake. rushing a man’s ass isn’t true for you. now if you aren’t strong and confident you may find that an experience like that escalates into self-loathing, outward hatred of gays, confusion about your own orientation, experimentation as remedy, rape as revenge. many straight guys end up like this. jacking off to gay porn, hating themselves for it, hating girls for it, raping girls for it. being weak minded is prevalent in the human race…a straight who is being weak minded will likely think gay a lot and it can develop into major personal and social problems. so between the child rapists saying they are all gay to the guidos and bros wanting girls raped for their mental cocksucking habits to gay pride equaling the credo “do anything i want whenever i want” and yes that means lewd sex displays in front of children in public (not just at parades where having a little commonsense would go far but also fags like adam lambert having young fans but doing gay simulated sex on stage)..depraved…definition related to the idea of crookedness. bent. No…i don’t like it. i dont have to. and i dont have to believe that pseudo-liberals who really adopt that position to find forgiveness for even aspects of their own lives and personalities disappointing them is legit yo! so have your large group..the fascists will have theirs…the downtrodden wont know to form one and I will remain solitary in my protest of calling commonsense and appeal for accountability as bigotry. just dont care. and wont be back. enjoy the site nancy and stephanie. and in 100 years if your grandkids can go outside without getting skin cancer in five minutes then remember to write them a letter about people like me and how wrong we were.

5:58 pm October, 18 CBS said...

oh..the percentages…just something picked up at U of T where i did an undergrad degree in criminology. it is only a first string uni in ontario…but year the curriculum is probably bogus because you don’t like the information relayed. dont worry tho…most ppl dont pay attention to this. most dont want to fix certain criminological problems. in fact it is the criminal business system…very little justice involved. what does this have to do with douchebags other than them thinking roofie jokes are funny? NOTHING. so i’m out like i said. way to go fag hags…you got your way again

6:37 pm October, 18 Medusa Oblongata said...

HAHAHAHAHA Holy shit, CBS. I’m telling you. I like you more and more every day. As for these Kleenex characters, i was thinking….there’s this Kleenex Mafia. And then there’s Napkin Nights. Notice a disturbing trend towards naming this nightlife asshattery after disposable paper products? I hope the next big club to pop up is called Tampons or something.

6:48 pm October, 18 iDouche said...

CBS, try hitting the caps lock button in between hitting the pipe.

thanks bro

8:58 pm October, 18 Nancy Dreuche said...

@CBS. Hate to see you go, but I love to watch you leave. And you’re right PMS is a real bitch.

10:09 pm October, 18 Mr. Biggs said...

CBS, I’ll start by telling you this: if people find you off sovereign it’s generally because you’re right. And I’ll add this – the whole concept of gay/straight really is BS. It’s like what ou said about bisexual dominance. Society falls into a social dynamic wherein people stuggle for dominance and gain the “primal hoard” as Freud would put it. Alexander the Great, Caesar and Napoleon may be called assholes but they were really just going for the sweet sweet suckle thigh.
Plus I’ve met enough guys start talking about homosexuality in a really creepy way once they get drunk.
So I really doubt the idea that some people are “born gay” and that it’s some abstract genetic thing. It’s a question of social dynamic. It’s why, despite people’s pretensions, the term gay is still an insult, meanig a guy who’s out of the race for the suckle thigh. A fop, if you will.

10:11 pm October, 18 Mr. Biggs said...

Sorry, that’s “if people find you offensive it’s generally because you’re right.” autocorrect strikes again.

4:58 am October, 19 smackdouche said...

I remember when the word to boobie ratio was much lower. Now those pesky words are everywhere and they aren’t even funny.

6:40 am October, 19 Deltus said...

Holy fist pumping Stackhouse, Batman! This comment thread turned into something… I dunno, political? Sociopolitical? What evs. What do people say about “librarian hott glasses improve the hott of any hott” idea?

7:23 am October, 19 Redouche-Reooze-Repsycho said...

Re– librarian hott glasses to improve attractiveness: I’m down with it– it’s one more thing that can be slowly and sexily removed, building the anticipation, but doesn’t actually obscure a hott woman’s greatest feature– her boobs.
.
Er, I meant — her eyes.

7:26 am October, 19 Redouche-Reooze-Repsycho said...

Wow– I have no idea what CBS was ranting about. Was there some “You’re a homophobe!” dialog in another thread between him and Nancy, Stephanie, etc.?
.
How did I miss that?

7:33 am October, 19 Redouche-Reooze-Repsycho said...

Oh, yeah, the pic– Kleenexer’s Best Bro. I totally forgot to mock the actual picture.
.
I looks like Eva Longoria finally made Tony get that lobotomy. Also, with the glasses, the hott in this pic looks a lot like a girl that works in my local coffee shop. I was never a big Java guy before she started working there, but I’m definitely developing a new addiction.

7:33 am October, 19 Redouche-Reooze-Repsycho said...

^”It looks like…”
.
(Need more coffee…)

8:02 am October, 19 Nancy Dreuche said...

@RRR. In regards to your CBS question reffering to his latest ramble, you got me. Alls I said was his gay sheep theory sounded legit and then bam! he comes back with what I assume would be a 12 page synopsis (If you were to copy and paste it in a Word document) on his gay theories and how I shouldn’t feel bad if I accidently make sweet romance to my neighbors butt thinking it was his wife.

But you seem like a pretty smart guy so I’m sure you got that from reading the previous post.

Go local fag hags!

8:40 am October, 19 Redouche-Reooze-Repsycho said...

OK– so I didn’t miss the crucial other part of the conversation. I was starting to think I drink too much.
.
What a relief. I would have hated to disappoint all my friends and family when I blew them off at my intervention.

11:17 am October, 19 Gays said...

CBS is right. I woke up one day and realized I would like to be hated and persecuted by society. then I started letting men put their cocks in my ass.

CBS is a total moron. Methinks when one writes a long diatribe against homosexuality on an internet website mocking douchebags one might be a homosexual.
I guess you jerk off to gay porn. When you watch regular porn you wish Peter North were finishing on your face. Then you go on the internet to say that your gay thoughts are the fault of those perky fags. You feel guilty. You shouldnt be scared. Admit that you love a big fat pecker nestled between your buns and we will all be happier.

11:36 am October, 19 CBS said...

yawn…worst homo argument ever

11:55 am October, 19 CBS said...

the famous gay defense….”i know you are but what am i?”

i’m not fond of cops…so i guess i want to be a cop
i don’t like nazis…so i guess i’m an anti-semite
cant stand douchebags in ed hardy…i guess my wardrobe is full of that shit
i think tribal tatts are lame…probably have one on my face right?

i dont think you are gay…i think you are a retarded sheep.

now i really dont want to comment anymore bc i’m not one dimensional…so i will watch.

and if i disappear for awhile it is probably because i went to get my scrotum waxed and head shaved down to a mean faux hawk…and am proly on the corner giving gays head bc that’s how i roll…i say i dont like something irrationally because i actually am that thing.

something to think about before i go…

girls…where do you think your worst enemies are? probably in the group of people that don’t include you. there is nothing i can’t handle more than women who run to the defense of the people that are the ones who see to their victimization. i think it is a form of stockholm syndrome though…if i look fags in the eye and they trust me…maybe they wont have me raped.

guys…can you imagine what we would be without the balance of a woman? we men have no sense of deferral of instant gratification. if there was a spread ass and pussy in every bus stop no man would drive a car. we would be wandering around the city fucking every 20-40 mins. so is it a big surprise that without the balancing dynamic of a woman’s sensibilities and sensitivities we have a culture of people that don’t understand platonic or wholesome (i have had gay friends…very gay in fact…they have never been with girls…i made friends with them bc they hate gay culture and out of control fagism. i respect that. i dont hate them for wanting to be with a gay.)

the bottom line is that homosexuality should hang its head in fucking shame until it starts to regulate its own community and produce a set of values and standards that is coherent and cohesive with the rest of society. this pride shit is driven by a weak mentality over emphasizing the wrong response to defend itself in an age of human rights. you took your rights and shoved them up your ass and then pulled them out with shit all over them and waved them around in everybody’s face. you think that attitude and behaviour merits that level of freedom?

12:05 pm October, 19 CBS said...

to the guy who said he thinks there is no genetic basis to being gay. i see what you mean but proly can’t agree.

but a real problem is the manipulation that vicious women hating and child hating gays do in society…they hide with all the other groups of gays and we cant seem to get at them. when we ask that community to account for it and clean up they scream bloody murder about how that is prejudice. we are trying to get at the bad guys!! and they are in the gay community…they may not even be pro-male as much as they are anti-female, anti-child, family, nature and procreation.

we have gays that are gay because they were raped young.
we have gays that were always gay
we have gays that were gay bc it was easier to find relationships, sex and affection
we have gays that are gay bc they weren’t strong minded enough to be truly straight (lots of frat boy date rapists in that group)
we have gays that are gay because they are anti- straight.

we need to get that last group of buggers. flush em out. they manipulate the situation. they also do things like seduce the meathead weak minded joke into lockerroom activities…this conniving plan and nefarious style has led to an enormous amount of women being raped.

dont run to the defense of homosexuality…demand that it clean up, get realistic and honest about its demographics…and do it NOW. i wont spend another wonderful night with an otherwise wonderful girl who just happens to actually be completely emotionally fucked up for having been raped at some point in their life. that is my sole motivator on this topic…not some b.s. about watching peter north or equally uncreative stupidity.

i want stronger women around. we need to get rid of the rape disease that gets them and gets guys who then get them.

that is all.

12:07 pm October, 19 mills said...

To join the ongoing gay debate.. i agree with some of cbs points such as homos being abnormal clearly they are as they are in the minority and the norm is the majority although that said i too used to be homophobic and believed being homo was unatural. truth is it is natural,.. naturally weird that is like a parrot fish, jellyfish, or a penis flytrap.. i mean venus flytrap or any other of the strange creatures that inhabit the deepest depths of the earth (no pun intended). If every gay was like george michael there wouldnt be as much of a problem as lets face it at least he got pussy before he chose pole. Im no longer as homophobic as i used to be but im not for gay pride either i just accept it for what it is. Also often a counter-argument of homophobia is that the homophobe has gay tendencies themselves or has had a homosexual experience whether it was consentual or not such as child abuse or rape, i think although that is feesible it only accounts for probably half of all homophobes the other half are just simply saying how they feel, that said anyone can be accused of having homosexual tendencies just as most women can be accused of having lesbian tendencies the point is you cant be classed as either until youve actually engaged in or commited an act that makes you gay beyond all reasonable doubt. .
but thts jus’ my twopennysworth, to each their own.

12:34 pm October, 19 CBS said...

yes they employ the you’re gay for being against it argument because they are very aware of its power as an argument bc of the gay rape implications. and how insensitive and inhuman is that. i am not a homophobe or a rape victim but i find it hard to get attention for the problem of rape bc that is what all the buggers run at you with…”oh well you are an angry victim, shouldn’t be considered a legit argument then”
disgusting!

phobic…means fear and lack of understanding. no no. i understand gays. i dont fear them. i fear what a large percentage of them do and represent in victimizing those that cannot defend themselves physically.

because i speak up i make a difference…but unless others do as well, nothing changes.

RAT…routine activities theory…is a theory. it says there are motivated offenders, suitable targets and capable guardians in society. unfortunately there is a move to suppress capable guardian roles. cycles of victimization are promoted and sustained. especially in the area of sex crime. when you go to do something to stop it…you are stopped. even groups like Take Back the NIght do more harm than good. They harbour irrationals and bleeding hearts, they look to console the victim and insulate sooner than address that an active force needs to be out there doing something significant.

i probably lost the best girl you could ever get because of emotional trauma from a rape when she was little. Dont ever approach me like i am a victim myself to shut me up. that kind of bullying will have me straightening hangers real quick.

i am a capable guardian but we are not allowed to band together. verenining martijn has more clout politically than people like me as a sum. it is done on purpose. if one day a large percentage of gays, corporate types, Code Pink members, Purina sales reps all ripped their skins off to reveal they were Feces People all along…i wouldn’t be surprised….but i would start sharpening my ax.

1:39 pm October, 19 Nancy Dreuche said...

@CBS. Pretty solid. And I mean it this time.

Giants or Phillies?

1:43 pm October, 19 Lyndon Ladouche said...

I think Demi Moore Hott’s glasses would look better covered in my semen.

Does that make me gay?

2:36 pm October, 19 Redouche-Reooze-Repsycho said...

@ Lyndon
.
Um, yeah. Demi’s a dude, right? I mean, he married that cute little Ashton girl from bumblefuck midwesternville, didn’t he?
.
.
.
Wait— that’s a guy Demi Moore married? No, I’m pretty sure that’s a chick..

2:48 pm October, 19 mills said...

once again i agree with cbs but just to reiterate what you said about homophobes being “victims” by speaking out so much it can imply a hidden agenda which is fair enough you can see why they would say that as some of the time it is true. but its sad that in todays society political correctness causes double standards over free speech an example being recently in serbia there was a gay pride march and people protesting about “gay rights” which was fair enough but when some religious groups protested about homosexuality being a sin that was “homophobic” whats the difference both were peaceful protests exhibiting the right of free speech but one is allowed and the other isnt? its like in politics being socialist or left wing is “liberal” but right wing politics are “too extreme”, and saying anything negative about immigrants is “racist” so what instead of them conforming to the culture they emigrate to and integrating into society we have to accomodate their needs before those who are natives? may as well lay a fucking “welcome” mat for them. and feminism what a load of bullshit that is. according to these liberals if you;
criticise a women and its “sexist”
criticise a immigrant its “racist”,
criticise a gay and its “homophobic”
criticise a douche and its “hatin”
its all just an excuse for them to get away with doing what they want.

2:53 pm October, 19 CBS said...

@mills. just knowing that you are out there thinking rationally is all i need to shut the fuck up

2:54 pm October, 19 CBS said...

@nancy…giants i’d say

7:16 pm October, 19 Dicy said...

You know, when I went to see Avatar I got these same 3D glasses and kept them. I wanted to pop the lenses out and wear them because I thought it’d be cute, which is really lame because I already wear glasses but I digress… They sat on my dresser for a bit because I decided it was probably actually a pretty lame idea. I figured I’d look like all those losers in Ray Bans and eventually threw them away. Now that I see this chick in them.. I’m really glad I never did it myself.

8:01 pm October, 19 Stephanie said...

Who farted? She did!

9:04 pm October, 19 Steve L. said...

that chick’s eyes are like rabbit holes. no. seriously.

9:05 pm October, 19 Steve L. said...

it’s better for a hott’s vagina to be a rabbit hole that will take you to places unknown. but eyes? that’s kinda spooky.

9:40 pm October, 20 Gays said...

Wow so gay

9:41 pm October, 20 Gays said...

I am going to let CBS suck me off

10:07 pm October, 20 Mikeu said...

I am pretty sure that anyone that obsessed with homosexuality is gat

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