Thursday, October 28, 2010

The Power Choad

Every pool near a “Guitar Center” has one.

I will dub this one “Slaxl.” As his double serving of quality morally-lacking pear tasks me on this Thursday eve.

# posted by douchebag1
6:19 pm October, 28 boone doggle said...

i’m experiencing deja poo.

6:32 pm October, 28 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

HOLY SHIT!!!

6:34 pm October, 28 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

I went to Bartlett’s Quotations to find something worthwhile to say about this photo, and all I could discern in the end was…Bartlett pears.

6:37 pm October, 28 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Am I seeing that right or does the girl (questionable) on the left have hairy legs or were they horrible scarred by hydochloric acid?
.
Something here smells fishy, and I’m not just talking about her (once again, “her” is up for debate) sweat drenched thong.

6:42 pm October, 28 Ted Brogan said...

This photo frightens me.

6:47 pm October, 28 Jacques Doucheteau said...

The funk in this picture is more powerful than Bootsy Collins’ sitting neck deep in a copper vat of goat urine and potting soil.

7:00 pm October, 28 Douchelips said...

Uh dude…there’s a dribble of poo hanging off your chin…
.
Oh and the chick on the left is disgusting.

7:15 pm October, 28 Jacques Doucheteau said...

And I thought that 46-year-old Inuit woman with a c-section scar lower back pubes at the stripclub in Fairbanks was nasty.
.
Until you’ve had a bearded clam rubbed in your face that looks like a splayed open hagfish and smells like burst Basset hound anal glands, you don’t know what dry heaving really is.

7:34 pm October, 28 Medusa Oblongata said...

I’m going to go with JD’s assertation that the one on the left is, or was at one time, a man.
.
Exhibit A: The hair. That is not a dye job. That is not extensions. That isn’t even a fall. That is a full-on wig. And a really bad one at that. Lace-front, darling, lace-front. Furthermore, observe the extent to which the hair obscures the face. This is not a casual hair-flip over the eye, this is using the hair as a damned disguise.
.
Exhibit B: Look at the size of her noggin. Examine the proportions in relation to her friend, then to the poo bag in the middle. Note, from what the hair is not hiding, the scale of the features, the lack of the usual feminine fullness in the face and the strong jaw. Good job using the hair to mask most of that, but I see right through it.
.
Exhibit C: Tit conceal. We have no idea what’s there. And that’s because it’s most likely nothing. What reasonable Bleeth does not show off her tits?
.
Exhibit D: Waist-hips-ass: Now, this is a toughy–yours truly has a rather boyish torso, my waist-to-hip ratio is probably like a friggin’ 0.3 or something. My ass is as flat as a pancake. However, my lack of curves (boobies aside) is all relative. My boxy torso gives way to my less-than waspy waist, to my flat butt, to my skinny little stick legs. Our pal here has somewhat of the same problem, save for a couple notable things: note the relative size of the waist in proportion to the hips, but more notably, how low the waist sits. Even a girl like me with a short, square torso has a reasonable distance from my ass to my waist, this character has almost none.
The real smoking gun, however, is the thigh. Let’s say this is just a gal who likes to work out a lot. In such case, the glutes would lift, the waist would be smaller, and even with a lot of muscle, there would still be a slightly more feminine proportion. And, in the case of gals like myself, where the legs are unreasonably thin, even in my most muscular periods, my quads are NEVER bigger around than my glutes. That is a strictly masculine trait.
.
That, my friends, is a Bog Galoot in a bikini. And Slaxl is touching his ass!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

7:36 pm October, 28 boone doggle said...

i knew this was a re-poot. its schmuckhead.

8:39 pm October, 28 Guid is Good said...

Slaxl has a nasty surprise coming in da VIP.

8:51 pm October, 28 Wedgie said...

Looks like the one on the left has a shoe on her dick.

9:09 pm October, 28 Jacques Doucheteau said...

@ Wedgie,
AAAAAAH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

9:27 pm October, 28 Steve L. said...

there’s something wrong in the water all right.
so wrong that it breeds douchebags and trannies.

9:50 pm October, 28 El Bastardo Magnifico said...

I don’t know if the one on the left is a man or not, and frankly, I don’t care. All I can imagine is that whatever it happens to be, it smells like potted meat and Ben Gay.

9:52 pm October, 28 Crucial Head said...

Chode Sucktriani?

9:54 pm October, 28 Crucial Head said...

I was hoping the Sucktriani would play out sounding like SuckTranny but I feel it was a fail.
.
{shrugs]
.
Back to the bottle…

1:57 am October, 29 Justin said...

Schmuckhead!!

3:39 am October, 29 Baron Von Goolo said...

@ Medusa
That’s no ordinary Bog Galoot. That’s Jerry Orbach! He is risen!!!!

4:04 am October, 29 C. Alice Hardon said...

Slaxl appears to be doing well, I’ll never forget his lead guitarist “Rash.”

5:19 am October, 29 Jason said...

Ummm…I thought this iste was HOT CHICKS with douchebags….so…uhh…where is the hot chicks?

6:06 am October, 29 boatbutter said...

He may be a Power Choad, but he can play the music from Galaxiannote-for-note.

6:11 am October, 29 boatbutter said...

This might actually be the Power Choad.

6:42 am October, 29 Deltus said...

@Medusa & Jacques: ye gods, I think you might be right! I didn’t look that closely (my mind isn’t geared to think that way), but given the evidence, I’d say there’s an 80% chance that the “chick” on the left is or was a dude. That, or she’s an ugly, misshapen hag that learned to workout like a demon to try to compensate.
.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some vomiting to do.

8:03 am October, 29 Turdacious said...

Im not gay but the dude on the left has a nice ass

8:13 am October, 29 Wheezer said...

Yep, that looks like Schmuckhead with some Bleeth Pear…..

8:44 am October, 29 Douche Springsteen said...

Oh wow, Medusa is right. And look at the calf, ladies never have a calf muscle that bulges out like that. Go ahead, I’ll give you a few seconds to go look at some other pictures.

Frank Black traveled to the future and saw this image and when he got back to 1989 he had the inspiration for the following lyrics:

There was a guy
an underwater guy who controlled the sea
got killed by 10 million pounds of sludge
from new york and new jersey

8:51 am October, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

There’s just ….too…much…wrong *hurls violently all over monitor* here. Aw fucc, here comes some more… BLEEEEEEEECCHH!

8:52 am October, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Is this a before or after picture of Slaxl during his conjugal visit in the prison’s waiting room?

9:05 am October, 29 Don't_squeeze_The _Douche said...

I knew it was a bad idea to check this site just before lunch

9:12 am October, 29 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ BVG–Great Googly Moogly!!! Well done, you!!
@ Douche Springsteen–Au contraire; I actually didn’t say anything about the calf because that’s no indicator. Once upon a time I had monster calves like that, even with my little chicken legs. I was doing toe raises with 65 lbs on my shoulders, you could even see the little muscle across my shin bone. It was actually kinda gross, so I gave it up. Either way, this whole thing makes me vomit and then laugh and then laugh until vomit comes out of my nose. How you doin’ over there, Dr. BHD? Get some cola syrup, man, it’ll save your life….

10:33 am October, 29 DarkSock said...

Her body type is “Buick”.

5:59 pm October, 29 Douche Springsteen said...

@ Medusa
I stand corrected. I tend to favor ladies with a bit of padding, i.e. girls who don’t exercise much.
That’s still a dude.

8:57 pm October, 29 Stephanie said...

An outtake from Spinal Tap without the funny ironic joke.

11:57 pm October, 29 Guid is Good said...

Is this one of those clubs where you give the trannies $50 to put their clothes back on?

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