Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Arnie The Rayon Shirt Guy

Arnie’s a good guy. He means well.

It’s just he’s had this thing for Sophie from H.R. for the past two years, and he’s so convinced that tonight is the night that he went into three figures to buy that Mark Jacobs shirt on sale at Nordstroms.

And now, sadly, we have to give him a stage-1 Douche tag.

But hang in there, Arnie. Even though it’s a minimal violation, we’re pulling for you.

And Sophie is quality gnaw, as is her B.F.F. from London, Maggie. So we understand the impulse, even if we do not forgive the shirt.

# posted by douchebag1
1:51 pm January, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

That Yakov Smirnoff Jr. sure can pull some Ruskie tail.

1:56 pm January, 19 Wedgie said...

Sophie is friendly and has nice golden bolt-ons…err….globes. Pissed off g.f. Maggie just needs a little of Kinison’s famous alphabet song to cheer her up and put a smile on her face.
Yakov may be a hell of a Russian acrobat, but he should change out of his uniform before hitting the clubs. Otherwise, Sabio and the shirtless bull queer posse is liable to give his rectum a good stretching. Ole’, comrade.

1:59 pm January, 19 Southern Scrotic said...

Sophie’s has a drink in each hand. My kind of girl.

2:00 pm January, 19 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

In Soviet Russia shirt douches you.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Wait. Huh? Who said that?

2:01 pm January, 19 Et Tu Douche? said...

Check out Sophie double fisting, two different drinks to boot. I likes me a girl that can handle her booze. Hopefully Arnie got some.

2:01 pm January, 19 smackdouche said...

Sophie’s Choice: two drinks.

2:01 pm January, 19 Et Tu Douche? said...

@ S. Scrotic
.
You beat me to it

2:02 pm January, 19 Nancy Dreuche said...

He’s not that bad, but I do have a similar textured shirt.

2:04 pm January, 19 VernTahuyaWA said...

I believe the shirt is made of silk. Doesn’t change the douche factor, but definitely invites touching by quality gnaw.

2:05 pm January, 19 Wedgie said...

Meanwhile, in the background, Kim Jong Il plots the next phase of his insidious plan to overrun the west with massive shipments of spoiled kim chee.

2:19 pm January, 19 boatbutter said...

Maggie’s humerus is humorous.

2:40 pm January, 19 memphis doucheworkers local 421 said...

seems like an otherwise decent person who made the tragic decision to douche it up for one night in a desperate attempt to close the deal with sophie.

2:41 pm January, 19 army (ret) douche said...

i wish i had the optomisim of DB1 for you arnie. but i see antlines, jesus bling and hand gestures in your future. for it is a slippery slope into the abyss of douchatude

2:42 pm January, 19 mr.reeve said...

Man that Vlade Divac can sure pull some tail.

2:43 pm January, 19 Rockabilly Johnny and the Electronic Foreskin Benders said...

You know what, I just noticed, Sophie has a drink in each hand!
.
.
.
.
and boooobies!!

2:46 pm January, 19 Merle Baggard said...

Yes, ugly shirt, but NAD, just a bad shirt.

2:54 pm January, 19 Douche Springsteen said...

Maggie from London looks like an early contender for Most Expensive First Date Hott. Her face says “Listen you minging cunt, this dress cost me 180 quid at Marks & Sparks and I didn’t wear it tonight to have you lot peeking at me Georgie Bests, so kindly fuck off, yeah?”.

3:48 pm January, 19 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Oh, let’s not hatt on Arnie anymore. He can’t help it he has the kavorka.

3:53 pm January, 19 Rockabilly Johnny and the Electronic Foreskin Benders said...

^De lure of de animal!!

5:04 pm January, 19 Medusa Oblongata said...

An honest mistake, Arnie. These slightly iridescent fabrics photograph poorly. When I was doing my parlor, I chose some beautiful, smoky blue silk curtains. I thought the understated touch of color added interest, the rich fabric added an air of opulence. then I photographed the room and saw that they looked like cheap tack-ups from a 1970’s whorehouse. Bummer. I’m sure that shirt is a lot better in real life. I give him a notta, with a stern lesson about the cruelty of flash photography.

5:28 pm January, 19 tall guy said...

It wouldn’t be my first choice in shirts. Colour alone makes it a bit loud. Then there’s the stripe effect, which is the visual equivalent of the Lynx effect (a naff brand of spray-on deodorant sold in Australia and highly regarded amongst the douche’s kissylip cousin known locally as the bogan). Arnie’s a trier though. As opposed to a tryhard so I also give him a notta. And I also agree with the earlier comment re. the bird on right being the all-time most expeno first date. I’ll add that she looks like she’d be a complete and utter snooty-nosed bitch.

6:57 pm January, 19 Steve L. said...

i have NEVER worked for a company that has hot HR chicks.
.
okay i did see this super hot HR manager from Acklands-Grainger at that job fair 2 years ago. but like any big company, Acklands wouldn’t hire me.
.
but that’s not gonna stop me from putting Human Resources a few places below Marketing on my black list of douchey professions.
.
.
.
.
.
.
my arbitrary discrimination is making me horny for Sophie and Maggie.

8:52 pm January, 19 Lil' Fartknocker said...

1983…Roger Moore…007…Octopussy…

Arnie is actually knife throwing circus perfomer by day, knife throwing assassin by, well…day also…but that’s not the point…the point is that Arnie is actually Mischka…or Grischka…which makes Sophie an undercover operative for a state-run intelligence service…my mind wanders over all the places she may be hiding her gun…or the rohypnol she intends to drop in Mischka’s drink…or Grischka’s drink…maximum compliance…minimum douchitude.

http://www.007museum.com/Octopussy.htm

9:17 pm January, 19 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

The only hot HR chicks are those burning up with H1N1. I should know. And Arnie, its called an iron and spray starch.

5:51 am January, 20 FoghornLeghorn said...

I’m rooting for Arnie in this case. If you reach for the stars, you might not quite get one, but you might score some off Sophie. Notta.

6:09 am January, 20 Collaz B. Popped said...

Giving him a notta,,,just bad fashion sense.

Maggie May from London – fwapfwap,,,right on that sour puss.

6:16 am January, 20 Hermit said...

I give Arnie a pass. He is smiling in the presence of hott, he displays no lame hand gestures and he should be rewarded for the fact that he, at least, is wearing a shirt!
I choose not to cast a stone. I, too have been guilty of poor wardrobe selection, and a lack of fabric softener .
Let us not judge him too harshly, instead lend him your forgiveness, and perhaps an ironing board.

6:52 am January, 20 Condouchious said...

Let’s give him a pass on the poor shirt choice.

7:46 am January, 20 DarkSock said...

Why is that man wearing Plinky’s Mom’s Tuesday panties?

8:33 am January, 20 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

^ @ Darksock
.
He’s only wearing the part that “breathes”. And besides these were the only pair that were clean.

10:14 am January, 20 creature said...

that’s Gregor, the waiter at the Russian Tea room. he brought Sophie an old fashion & a melon bomb….speaking of melon bombs, Sophie, ay ya yay!*bights fist clean off wrist*

10:16 am January, 20 creature said...

BFF looks board & in need off a 1st rate schtooping

10:41 am January, 20 Stephanie said...

Arnie does the stage remake of Zorro.

10:56 am January, 20 Jacques Doucheteau said...

However much that shirt pisses me off, I’m giving Arnie a pass. Notta douche. The shirt itself is a total douchebag however and needs a good beating.

10:23 pm January, 20 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Sophie is Quality Hott.
Arnie is a mere slippery noodle in a slick shirt.

6:36 am January, 21 Mike Hunt said...

The writeups under each picture are BRILLIANT!! –

And so are some of the comments…. keepem comming gentlemen….

Douchious Maximus!

Leave a Reply

What is 8 + 9 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)