Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Billy and Willy Learn to Make “The Shocker”

Ramona’s internship with the non-profit “UNIBAG” organization took her to meet many interesting and challenged aging suburban douchewanks. But she did her best to help them learn the proper way to cling to fading youth by pretending to have fun in overpriced nightclubs.

Later, they played with crayons and painted a pretty picture of unicorns, sunrises and Valtrex.

# posted by douchebag1
7:26 am January, 11 Collaz B. Popped said...

White, anonymous baseball cap tilt, faux wanksta rap hand gesture, makes him look very intimidating.

As intimidating as a DB from Wantagh, LI.

In one of those lame wanna be bars where all the Cops hang out after, and during, work hours.

7:29 am January, 11 Taint Nuthin But A G-Thang said...

DB1, I actually think these two choads have lost the external metacarpals on their respective ring fingers due to a tragic accident with fingering the same male silver back gorilla. Before the incident, nobody knew a gorilla’s a-hole had the power to snap fingers off of a man. Now we know, thanks to these two brave animal workers.

7:41 am January, 11 mr.reeve said...

The hott has blessed this site before.
I never understood why someone would wear a collard shirt with a hat in public. The golf course or the sideline of a football game is the only reasonable excuse for such an act.

7:46 am January, 11 Mr. White said...

Ramona has not had a nose job, and I know that because we both have the same honker. And for that, I salute her. In my pants. Son.

7:47 am January, 11 Mr. White said...

Wait, if we both have the same nose, and I find her hott, does that mean I’m autogay?

8:09 am January, 11 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Mr. White, yes.

Ramona is either super pissed or super drunk. Probably both if she’s in the company of these two cornholes.

Get a new hand gesture douchebags. We get it already. Two in the pink, one in the stink. Jaheezus, way to know the female anatomy. Yes sirree those holes are located near eachother. You were paying attention during the seventh grade sex ed video. Do you still put condoms on bananas or is that too juvenile? Oh dear, I’m so offended by the shocker, those are my delicate lady parts you’re talking about.

Word to the wise douchebags, I’m working on creating an offensive hand gesture us ladies can do. I’ll let you know when its finished. Its
gonna out shock the shocker that’s for dayum sure.

8:18 am January, 11 Tyrannosaurus Douche said...

Ramona does not look happy. And by the looks of these two suburbanite wiggas and grandpa behind her, she’s thinking Vegas sure sounds good rights about now.
@Nancy Dreuche…will you marry me? And by marry me, I mean use me as your experimental subject when you invent this new hand gesture?

8:23 am January, 11 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

She has the look of complete and total regret. Classic. Run Ramona, run.

8:23 am January, 11 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Tyrannosaurus Douche, I’m kinda engaged to Turtle Boy, but I can negotiate. Once the new gesture is unveiled I will need a test subject. I think a dinosaur would be perfect for that.

8:29 am January, 11 Douchble Helix said...

I see it as the classic bored look. Yossarian/Heller describe in Catch 22 regarding Nately’s whore.

I think it’s great.

8:38 am January, 11 DarkSock said...

Most Regret-Filled Hott….sounds like a great Douchies sub-catagory.

8:41 am January, 11 Wheezer said...

The Shocker for ‘bags: two in the stink, one up the urethra. I wish these douchewanks would try it on each other. Repeatedly.

8:47 am January, 11 Wheezer said...

@ ‘Sock, 8:38 a.m. –
.
There was an ideal pic of a cute little brunette crinkling her nose in disgust at some ‘bag…..”Little Carmelita Smells Poo” I think it was called.
.
Thus far, my searching of the sites (old and new) has been fruitless. 🙁

8:51 am January, 11 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Bill’s “schocker” should be a real hit at the genuine Arnold Palmer country clubhouse, when he moves to The Villages next year…

9:09 am January, 11 jonezy said...

I get the feeling that Darksock has named his cocc “regret”.
.
Which I can’t quite figure out how that pun plays out humorously, but I’m pretty sure that it would terrify any reasonable woman if you were to mention that you’ve named your member “Regret”.

9:29 am January, 11 I R A Darth Aggie said...

They think they can frighten me from approaching Ramona by making hand signs.
.
Silly douches, hotts are for baghunters.

9:59 am January, 11 Nancy Dreuche said...

Attention Douchebag’s Who Use “The Shocker” and the hot ladies who hate them:

After several minutes of consideration and mulling over, I would like to unveil my (working on the patent now Denis Leary) new counter hand gesture…”The Nut Cruncher”

Pretty soon you will be seeing hot ladies everywhere making this gesture if accompanied by a douchebag during a photo op.

Since I am an internet tard I will have to rely on my words alone to paint a picture of the new gesture for the ladies to use.

Step 1. Find a douchebag. Easy peezy Japeneezy, these things are everywhere.

Step 2. Ask him to take a picture with you. He will comply because you are hot and he is a douchebag. It is science.

Step 3. When the picture is being taken he will most assuredly throw up “The Shocker”. Again, science in action. That is when you make your left palm flat and perpindicular. You make a fist with your right hand. Now bring the two together in fine nut crunching fashion.

Step 4. Thank the douche for his time and tell him you’ll call him later. He will say,”But I didn’t even give you my number.” You will reply, “Exactly.” And then run away as fast as your little hot legs will carry you.

10:03 am January, 11 Captain Scrote Sparrow said...

Willy and Billy collectively count to SEVEN for the second night in a row.. good job guys!

10:15 am January, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Billy Bob Wharton on the left has alien hands. What is a Bruno Mars son.

10:18 am January, 11 Collaz B. Popped said...

My umbrage is that I dont know if they are making the “Shocker” or the ridiculous “Surburban wigga wannabe rapper” gesture.
I’m not well versed in this area and wanted to give an accurate first post.

Would’nt the shocker require the first two fingers closer together? Stackhouse chicken style?

Nancy D, there are men that would gladly pay for that kind of treatment. Creme Fraiche, one of the funniest South Parks ever.

10:23 am January, 11 Redouche-Reooze-Repsycho said...

Where on earth is there a club as lame as this one? They let geriatrics and mentally challenged guys walk right in and perturb the hotts? Disgraceful!
.
The dude on the right is a Samoan Jon Favreau wannabe whose massive beer gut even a loose bowling shirt can’t hide, and the left choad would look much better with a pool cue cracked in half across the bridge of his nose, spattering his pretty little white cap with arterial spray.
.
Poor disinterested, suckable Ramona. She’s giving the look I’ve gotten from so many young Jewesses out in Long Island. I’ma have to get back out there, someday, now that there’s an oldbag nightclub for me to hang out in and annoy young ladies.

10:33 am January, 11 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Collaz B. Will have to look up that South Park episode. I am seriously behind. Last one I saw was the one with Coon and Friends.

Stackhouse chicken style sounds horrific. As it should.

12:37 pm January, 11 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ DB1
.
I think you got this photo mixed up with the “Tards for Twats” program. You know, it’s the one where they send hott eduction majors to places like “The John Edwards School for the Gifted”. The hotts get real-world teaching experience and the tards get a lifetime’s worth of spanking material. Look, she just taught them the letter “W”. Doesn’t it just warm your heart?

1:08 pm January, 11 Deltus said...

An innovation? The Shocker with some pink spread?

1:36 pm January, 11 creature said...

Ramona quietly grunts as she realizes that fat, bald guys in guayberas are never sexy

1:53 pm January, 11 Et Tu Douche? said...

Ramona is just now realizing the “Sugar Daddy” phase of her young life was not what it was cracked up to be.

5:34 pm January, 11 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

What you are seeing here is Ramona’s last night as a straight woman. Early the next morning she got her hair cut in a Billie Jean, bought some comfortable shoes, and downloaded every Indigo Girls bootleg she could find. I can’t say I blame her. This scene looks about as pleasant as being torn apart by a pack of hyenas.

1:54 am January, 12 Motorcycle Parts said...

Oh, I’m so impressed by the shock, they are my delicate lady parts you mentioned.Word to the wise DOUCHEBAGS I’m working on creating an offensive hand gesture we can make ladies. I’ll let you know when its finished.

1:18 pm January, 12 rrrippinrrrose said...

http://www.cornify.com/cornified/image_1294866698261.jpg

2:24 am January, 19 Canadian Pharmacy said...

I do not mean to use me as test subjects when they invent a new gesture

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