Thursday, January 13, 2011

Breaking: Someone Named Scott Disick Swings His Cane

Because I like to stay hip with the latest pop culture yadda yaddas that so concern Ryan Seacreast and Julia Whatever on that single letter network, I thought I’d update you on Scott Disick.

No, I don’t know who he is either.

Apparently he pregged up one of the Kardashians. And no, I don’t really know who the Kardashians are, or what makes them famous, either. I think they fought the Klingons and the Ferengi in one of the Deep Space Nines.

This may or may not be a Kardashian sister.

And I don’t know why you should care about this. Apparently he likes to use his cane to hold back his woman, and to dress up like a cast member of the gay porn parody of Mad Men, entitled, “Mad Cock.”

Anyways, who gives a spankmonkey about these generics? I don’t. You don’t. Back to real people. That’s who we focus on here at HCwDB. Not manufactured Hollywood flotsam.

# posted by douchebag1
11:37 am January, 13 Douchey Lewis and the News said...

I bet he’s on his way to go return some videotapes.

11:38 am January, 13 Tony Ventresca said...

He’s wearing albert slippers with a three-piece suit. (sigh)

11:41 am January, 13 Wheezer said...

“Scott is dick.”

11:42 am January, 13 Anthony LaBaglia said...

Looks like he’s gotta take a shit

11:46 am January, 13 Mr. Biggs said...

Yes. If nothing else, it’s a self-parody.

11:46 am January, 13 Nancy Dreuche said...

Perhaps he was stopping her from bolting into on coming traffic. Why, Scott why?! That would have been one down two to go.

11:48 am January, 13 Wedgie said...

That must be the lesser known sister, Klitty Kardashian.

12:06 pm January, 13 Redouche-Reooze-Repsycho said...

I thought that was Patrick Bateman on his way back to his apartment for some sex, Phil Collins and nail gun action.

12:08 pm January, 13 Redouche-Reooze-Repsycho said...

I like the look of quasi-0annoyance fro the dude in the background.
.
“Fucking spoiled rich brats! If I didn’t already have two points against my hack license, I’d totally run those fuckers over with my cab.”

12:09 pm January, 13 Redouche-Reooze-Repsycho said...

Er, “annoyance” is generally spelled without the preceding zero. Sorry about my crappy typing…

12:18 pm January, 13 DoucheyWallnuts said...

It’s funny you mention Klingons, as the Karwreckians are the horrible result of a scientific experiment that went off the rails, in that they tried to combine the DNA of a Klingon with that of Fergie. The result is what you see above. They originally wanted to use Romulan DNA but as everyone knows, Romlans are fictional characters…DUH!

12:18 pm January, 13 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Oh please oh please oh please tell me he’s pointing to some man-servant just out of the picture showing where he wants him to dispose of the body.

12:24 pm January, 13 Medusa Oblongata said...

Black tights with leopard print platforms. Classy.

12:24 pm January, 13 Redouche-Reooze-Repsycho said...

@DB1:
I’m pretty sure that’s a typo in your title for this post. His name is “Scott ISdick.”

12:27 pm January, 13 Tom Choad said...

I’m with a Mexican…
Lady-ho.
.
.
I’m with a Mexican…
Whoa-oooh!
.
.
Lady-ho!

12:31 pm January, 13 Captain Scrote Sparrow said...

Something about the leopard print fuc-me-pumps impels me to fancy tailgating that kitten, while impaling Scott Dickstick with his metro-phag switch.

12:39 pm January, 13 Andy Capp said...

Damn RRR, you rocked the American Psycho reference before I could get here.
.
May Patrick Bateman consume the entire Kardashian clan…
.

12:51 pm January, 13 C.G. said...

@ Douchey Lewis

good one.

12:58 pm January, 13 Collaz B. Popped said...

He might be a Britbag from the U.K.

1:07 pm January, 13 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Tom Choad, no comprendouche, its a riddle!

1:28 pm January, 13 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The 80’s called, they want their swagga back. Three piece and a cane. I’ve been rocking shorts and t-shirts since the 80’s fuckwad. Clothes don’t make the man, particularly wrinkly cheap ones like your wearing Napolean Canomite, double vents please. Weed makes the man American Psycho. That is all I have to say about that. I have to get used to my new anxiolytics before I rant. But fuck that Timmy’s mom from Monday is haunting me with images of boobery. I couldn’t stop looking at my Mom’s boobs at supper last night until Mrs. Kroeger slapped me and poured me a glass of milk. After I calmed down she agreed to let me nurse on her ample Mammalians while I passed out on the chronic and martinis. But Mom’s boobs were exactly like those epic titans of Monday. But Mom wore a bra so I was never captivated by her nipplage. Is there something wrong with me besides the multiple drug addictions and alcoholism. Should I not be aroused with my mother’s cleavite. I don’t think I should ask my dad unless I’m really fucked and my kids are around.

1:31 pm January, 13 Anonymous said...

Tom Choad
Wall of Voodoo reference.
Later maybe she’ll feel his hot wind

1:36 pm January, 13 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^Tuesday. And I just got another woody from those bigguns. Sorry Mom. Stay stoned my friends.

1:40 pm January, 13 Deltus said...

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
.
Holy shit on a stick, talk about reaching for a look! Good lord, the three-piece and a walking stick. If you don’t have any problems walking, you have NO business with a walking stick. And unless you’re actually in the 80’s, you have no business being in a three-piece.

2:21 pm January, 13 Et Tu Douche? said...

I regretfully acknowledge that I have seen this show (we all make mistakes so please don’t hate on me for this) and witnessed this useless, rank, poseur, piece of shit douchebag in action.
.
He is the lowest form of life in that he’s a leech that has attached himself and profited off of the multi-million $$ meal ticket that is the Kardashian “Brand” by knocking up one of these chicks. I truly feel sorry for the child they brought into this world.
.
I can just imagine the conversation in 15 years when the kid asks his dad “What is it that you REALLY did for a living?” to which he’ll probably respond I was a television celebrity to which the kid will respond,” How did you become a “Celebrity”. Well back in the late 00’s your mothers sister, who was an unknown at the time, had sex with some wanna be R&B singer and at the time they thought it would be “Cool” if they taped it so they could have some memories of their loving relationship. The next thing you know the tape somehow got released to the media and she became famous and huge money soon followed.
.
You see son back then some genius/producer in a suit thought these are great values she has and wouldn’t it be great if we rewarded these values and give her a TV show along with a ton of money. “Wow dad so she was really talented huh? Umm no, she was a narcissist much like your old man and had a really big ass but for some reason sheeple found it entertaining. “Sounds exciting” You’re telling me kid, I realized early on that there was a huge audience for these kind of values and narcissism so when I learned they wanted to include her family members in this show I thought wouldn’t it be great if me & your mom, who I had no intention of marrying, brought a bundle of joy into the picture cause who doesn’t like cute little babies being paraded around in front of a camera. “So dad I was a celebrity too?” kinda, more like an insurance policy/annuity. You see son I had & have no talent what so ever but what I WAS good at was seeing the big picture and $$$$ signs just like the master K-Fed before me. I manipulated that’s what I did. “Geez dad that’s all you thought of me and mom? what a bullshit move” Hey I had to strike while the iron was hot 15 minutes only lasts so long. Well it was good seeing you again son, how long has it been? “About 10 years now” Wow that long huh? “Well I gotta go now I’m late for my therapy session, love you pops. Uhhh yeah right back at ya and oh tell your mom my checks have been late.

2:49 pm January, 13 Medusa Oblongata said...

^ Salty fuccen tears

4:20 pm January, 13 Wedgie said...

Don’t buy their shit. Don’t watch their show. Then they will go away.
And thanks to Tom Choad for the Wall of Voodoo memories he stirred up. Call of the West was one of my 1983 favorites; Stan Ridgeway, baby.
At least I think it was ’83. I was so coked up back then I was never sure what year it was. But I had some Plimsouls on the same cassette, so I think it was that year, when Million Miles Away came out.
Fuccen drugs. It’s like having alzheimer’s in your 20’s. Thank God I discovered good tequila and cigars, ‘cuz they saved my soul.

4:31 pm January, 13 mr.reeve said...

I sat in a Mexican restaurant next to these two. I had no clue who they were. I thought he was some fratbag from USC or something. Either way he’s a douche and she is a bleethe with bad taste in men, SON!

5:53 pm January, 13 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I love this picture. He’s disinterestedly herding her with a stick like the ringmaster in some urban circus. He’s too bored to even watch his animal perform anymore. She’s happy in the way only someone with a sub-70 IQ can be happy. Oblivious to all the worlds problems and all her own shortcomings. She’s a beautiful, joyful imbecile. Priceless!

6:13 pm January, 13 Troy Tempest said...

The rotting bugs in his guts will infect her anus. They will multiply and march up her pancreas until she starts to gurgle. The rancid rot will spill from her face as she intones:
.
LIVE! FROM NEW YORK!
.
and his foreskin plays tiddlywinks with Jesus.

6:15 pm January, 13 creature said...

I’d pay good money to watch him whack her bare bottom with that stick

7:33 pm January, 13 Cherchez le Douche said...

Dollar Tree Patrick Bateman.

Velvet tux slippers.

Cane.

When future civilizations recover this image ten thousand years from now, I know they’ll retch as mightily as I have upon viewing it.

8:59 pm January, 13 Guid is Good said...

Those are bad shoes, his trousers are poorly tailored and a gentleman would never be seen in public with a Kardashian. FAIL.

9:15 pm January, 13 DarkSock said...

Kardashian poops look like human femurs.

9:59 pm January, 13 Douchble Helix said...

Just don’t anybody say anything bad about Kim. I’m fucking serious.

10:14 pm January, 13 Scott said...

^Why not? Does she have a Zyzz-style fan base?

10:18 pm January, 13 RUSH said...

Is anyone still talking about how great I am?

11:39 pm January, 13 Doucheterminatrix 2.0 said...

Is anyone else creeped out by the eerie smallness of his feet?

6:00 am January, 14 Greek-God-like bodies and masculine features said...

He is a little worm. Yuk!
By the way son, I still likes the cockk and boys!

1:22 pm January, 14 I R A Darth Aggie said...

I think [Kardashians] fought the Klingons and the Ferengi in one of the Deep Space Nines.
.
Quote. Of. The. Week.

2:31 am January, 17 Motorcycle Parts said...

I went from a chronic and martinis. But mom’s breasts were just as epic Titans on Monday. But Mom was wearing a bra if I’ve never been seduced by their batteries TESI only way. Is there something wrong with me, and multiple drug and alcohol abuse.

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