Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Captain Shnook Sails The Hottie Seas

We first met 19th Century literary douche legend, Captain Shnook, a few weeks ago, right around the New Year.

Lest we forget, Captain Shnook’s chin fungy creepiness still sails onward until dawn by light of the early frosted dew.

Still orange.

Still chasing hot chick tourists from Sheboygan.

# posted by douchebag1
2:04 pm January, 18 jonezy said...

Shnook is compiling quite the portfolio. Not a bad bevy of Hotts to be honest. We might have a write-in contender for the monthly here boss!?

2:05 pm January, 18 Wedgie said...

You spelled “doo” wrong.

2:15 pm January, 18 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Is that a parrot growing out of his left shoulder, or just his first mate?

2:20 pm January, 18 Wedgie said...

You know, I caught a really large Schnook down in Florida last year. Ugliest fish I ever caught.
From now on, I’m sticking with Tarpon.

2:26 pm January, 18 Captain Scrote Sparrow said...

what’s with the dude’s smooching in the back???

2:26 pm January, 18 NeverSayNever said...

Why is Captain Shnook’s first mate, half-face, three-lips massaging his chest with those strangely long, catfish fin fingers?

2:34 pm January, 18 Andy Capp said...

Actually, after a refresh of HJBB&D, the good Captain serves as a nice pallate cleanser…
.

2:36 pm January, 18 Redouche-Reooze-Repsycho said...

He’s definitely wearing eyeshadow.
.
.
Those three chicks make for a nice Neapolitan ice cream-style variety pack, though. In my house, the chocolate and vanilla always went quickly, and the strawberry would sit idly in the carton, gathering hoarfrost and freezer burn for months. I chalk it up to the fact that my mom was a redhead.
.
What?

2:41 pm January, 18 NeverSayNever said...

Breaks my heart to see dark hott so close to this old fart. These poor mermaids have been forced into ever sinking fathoms of de-deuchery ever since their unfortunate encounter with fish-face’s nets…

Fu*k the whales, Save the Hotts!

2:59 pm January, 18 Hermit said...

On this night, the music, the laughter, the conversation of the other party-goers are of little importance to the passionate lovers locked in a romantic embrace. Only the full moon, the syncopated, rythmic beating of their two hearts and the bulge in Henry’s pants are of consequence.

3:00 pm January, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Nancy

Bedtime story on last thread. And this picture is just plain sad.

3:08 pm January, 18 Medusa Oblongata said...

Dear Demi Moore hott smooshed against Capt. Shnook’s face,
You make me make slickies.

3:08 pm January, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

What the fuck are we gonna do without Regis in the morning? Son.

3:10 pm January, 18 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Only thing more orange than the good Cap’n’s skin is Lefty’s red hair…
And didn’t I say it before, but this is Mephistopheles. Why do I have to repeat the obvious?

3:11 pm January, 18 Vin Douchal said...

Delicious blondie in the middle is sandwiched between two mannish figures (click on the photo to blow it up, I’m not kidding) and it’s a sure bet that Captain Shnook carries a tweezer and mirror in his pockets
.
And by pockets I mean cupped in his thong underwear

3:13 pm January, 18 Vin Douchal said...

Barstool Sports.com coming through big time today with photos of Mrs. Bubba The Love Sponge, Heather Clem. Aiy yie yie

3:13 pm January, 18 Anthony LaBaglia said...

Notice David Schwimmer on the right- twenty years later and still only half in the spotlight…

3:13 pm January, 18 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

But given his Persian good looks, we might honor him with a hat, cape, whip and the title Zorro the Zoroastrian…
Just sayin’.

3:15 pm January, 18 Anthony LaBaglia said...

Nice call Vin:

I’m thinking of changing my name to

“Tony the Love Loofah”

3:17 pm January, 18 Anthony LaBaglia said...

Or

“Antonio, Esponja de amor”

3:19 pm January, 18 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Re: Heather Clem, a true “What is SHE doin’ with HIM?” situation.

Captain Shnook reminds me of Camp Snook over in Britain. Unfathomable name, right out of a Charles Dickens novel.

3:24 pm January, 18 Vin Douchal said...

@ Whoop Di
.
That reminds me of the Woody Allen movie “Love and Death” that was on HBO this past weekend when he had this line about his cousin:
.
“He tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian”

3:50 pm January, 18 DarkSock said...

As the girls and their fop cousin Antonio waited in line breathlessly, Tony Robbins filled another eager customer’s mouth with regurgitated porch beef, son.

3:50 pm January, 18 DarkSock said...

Hey….Where’s Crucial Head?

3:54 pm January, 18 Fatness said...

re: Heather Clem. She looked better before the airbags deployed.

4:15 pm January, 18 soy bomb said...

I want to hate, but Nothing’s Shocking is one of my fav albums of all time.

4:46 pm January, 18 DarkSock said...

He has a daughter named Schnooki. She is a horse-sow; a slam-son.

4:58 pm January, 18 Wedgie said...

And he pees in goldfish.

5:32 pm January, 18 creature said...

could you imagine if that brow wasn’t manscaped?

5:33 pm January, 18 creature said...

…it aint orange, it’s ‘bronzer’, son

6:47 pm January, 18 doucheywallnuts said...

After looking at the Sabio piece of feces, Captain Shnook seems almost endearing, kind of normal. It’s all relative I guess.

9:53 pm January, 18 Stephanie said...

On the “orange” pic,are you perhaps drawing in your eyebrows with a sharpie? Stop that!

2:18 am January, 19 Canadian Pharmacy said...

Strawberry would sit passively in the gel collection of cardboard and freezer burn for several months. I chalk it up to what my mother was a redhead.

5:57 am January, 19 Scrotelaw said...

he has an Indian beard, Apache here a-patche-e there

6:08 am January, 19 Wedgie said...

I would like some ugg boots and viagra please. That is all.

7:32 am January, 19 Deltus said...

@Medusa (3:08): agreed. Demi Moore hott makes me make slickies too. And I don’t even have a vagina.
.
Wait, what?

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