Monday, January 3, 2011

Captain Shnook

Ah yes, from Senior Year, we all remember reading The Rhyme of the Ancient Marinated Chin Fung.

The Barbara Sisters rang in the New Year in style — with awkward and unwanted gropes in the kitchen by Captain Shnook’s harpoons.

# posted by douchebag1
2:10 pm January, 3 creature said...

are you kidding me boss?…. they got fish meal in their ‘holds’

2:21 pm January, 3 Claude Douchenburg said...

The guy looks like a terroist to me. Where is his Ed Hardy turban? And wouldn’t those crosses burn a hole in his chest?

2:28 pm January, 3 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Boss? I hate to break it to you but this is Ming the Merciless’ retarded son “Timmy the Tender”. Ming keeps him stashed in the root cellar out back.

2:29 pm January, 3 Mr. White said...

I grew up in western PA. We didn’t do none of that book learnin’.
.
Boob learnin’? Yes. That’s what the backseats of rusted-out IROCs were for.
.
Hey, Doc Bunsen, I feel like I haven’t read you in a while. ‘Sup?

2:54 pm January, 3 dbBen said...

Goodnight Garfield, those are some of the shapeliest eyebrows I have ever seen on a man.
.
“Sometimes I say to myself, Masoud, it’s not worth it. But then I remember that only by creating sexiness can I receive the sexiness. And I get to work plucking.”

3:13 pm January, 3 Medusa Oblongata said...

If I were to draw a caricature of the devil, it would most likely come out looking like this. He pretty much looks like most of the cartoon devils I remember as a youth.
.
He also reminds me of Dr. Strange.

3:13 pm January, 3 Medusa Oblongata said...

I don’t remember Perry Farrell having blue eyes.

3:47 pm January, 3 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Mr. White
.
I’ve been hibernating since I turned my final grades in (and I look like it too). The only thing that differentiates (math pun intended) me from a grizzly right now is that they don’t have copious gray in their muzzles like I do. Damn kids today…
.
I second Mr White on that learnin’ stuff. As a western PA native myself, we never did none of that fancy book learin’ stuff. Hell, we were lucky to have crayons to write with on the walls. You musta went to an uppity school district where you had some fancy high falutin’ IROCs to learn in. We had to take turns in a Chrysler K car that only got AM bible-thumper stations and rusted out floorboards. You had to time things just right to get to second base before you were both starin’ up the rear differential. Ah, the bad old days.

4:13 pm January, 3 I R A Darth Aggie said...

awkward and unwanted gropes in the kitchen by Captain Shnook’s harpoons
.
Ah, so that’s what the kids are calling it these days…

4:15 pm January, 3 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Mr White & Dr. Bunsen

Tino Martino said to say hi, he still has his Camaro and Is pumped for the Krocus reunion tour. He said he can get extra tickets if you guys wanna go. The show is at the Rostraver Ice Rink FYI.

4:24 pm January, 3 Mr. White said...

Appropos of nothing, have you ever wondered what it would be like if a chimpanzee in a kimono took photographs of 1960s-era bikini models’ crotches? Well, wonder no more.
.
You’re welcome.

4:29 pm January, 3 Nancy Dreuche said...

Left Barbara definitely has that “I am not cool with this guy touching me but my stupid friend thought this would be a cute photo. I will be bitching about it later in the bathroom of this club when we both amazingly have to go at the same time. What’s the deal with that anyway? Why do chicks always have to go to the bathroom in groups? The toilet really isn’t that scary. But if I can’t find my lipstick in my purse I’m going to rip that effing towel dispenser straight off the wall. Wait, that’s not me, that’s something Jeff Reed would do. Anyway take the picture already, Satan con Leche here is really starting to creep me out.” look in her eyes.

4:47 pm January, 3 creature said...

@ mr. white….where’s the monkeys angle? that’s the shot I want!

5:10 pm January, 3 DoucheyWallnuts said...

You wouldn’t think the lead singer of a Creed tribute band would pull hotts, but as Eddie Murphy said, all you have to do is sing….
“Singers gets pussy. ‘cos you don’t have to,

even you don’t have to look good,
you can sing and get pussy.

Just be interesting. ‘cos this Sex Symbol
is getting pussy and is ugly motherfuccer.

‘cos all you have to do is sing, its somethin bout singing, that is the business, you sing, women go crazy.
Cos, Mick Jagger is an ugly motherfuccer !

With big ass lips !

Mick Jagger’s lips are so big black people be going:
“You got some big ass lips !”

“These are big motherfuccing lips !”

But he’s singing !
If you sing you’ll get over.”

6:57 pm January, 3 Troy Tempest said...

@Mr White- thanks – you made my day with the chimp shot.
.
Also, he is not Satan. He is Satan’s idiot nephew, Eddie. Eddie’s still going to hell, but he thinks it’s a club in Washington DC.
.
Right now, I’m listening to The Free Design from the 60s, who were something like a weird cross of the Association, The Carpenters, the Mommas and the Poppas if they all smoked some weed and got mellow. Get it all here:
http://orexisofdeath.blogspot.com/
.
It’s better than prozac and is the diametric opposite of metal, which is why people who are into extreme music dig ’em.

7:04 pm January, 3 Wedgie said...

My penis thinks he’s a dumbass.

9:37 pm January, 3 DarkSock said...

@ Mr. White: it’s about time someone here posted simian upskirt candid photography.
.
.
.
I hope the rest of you are taking fuccen notes.
.
.
.
.
.
….the horrors of an erection that cannot subside….

9:42 pm January, 3 Deltus said...

Timmy has “roofies as a date philosophy” written all over him, doesn’t he?

9:58 pm January, 3 Crucial Head said...

Doris’ unrestrained nipple burrowing into his tender ribcage nearly talked Hassan Al-fariq El-Habib into rethinking another sip from the expunged refuse from his anal ulcer that silently coagulated in his glass.
.
Nearly.

10:29 pm January, 3 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

So I kind of got the hang of the Wii Dance thing today. Fucking boyless family and Nintendo shit. Anyway, Fuck off Nintendo, the New York Giants, erectile disfunction, and Dick Clark with your fucked up stroke face. You terrified my kids cocksucker. I guess my point is Happy New Year and I have some killer weed.

11:53 pm January, 3 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Mephistopheles steps out for a night on the town.

12:18 am January, 4 Baron Von Goolo said...

Damn that guy looks familiar.
Seriously, really familiar.
I’ve either actually met this cat or I’m mixing him up with an old German Krampus postcard.
It’s gonna bug me until I figure out which.

1:02 am January, 4 wedding photographers bristol said...

You had time for things just to have another base before they were so Star’s “differential. Ah, old times.

2:25 am January, 4 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Fucking rosary beads. I wanna choke every goddamn club pud with their rosary beads. Choke ’em out good.

4:07 am January, 4 Collaz B. Popped said...

I second that MC 900,,,,,the rosary bead accessory is auto douche.
Auto fucking Douche.

4:12 am January, 4 Collaz B. Popped said...

Wait,,,thats not Captain Schnook or Perry Farrell,,,,its the actor that played the devil in the original Twilight Zone episode “The Howling Man”.

6:30 am January, 4 Andy Capp said...

One of the two ladies will made the following comment tonight:
.
“Wow….did you look at his eyes? He’s deep.”
.
The only deep thing about him is his STD test file with his GP.

6:13 pm January, 4 Nancy Dreuche said...

@wedding photographers bristol, what did you do with Motorcycle Parts? Ah I get it, once you’re married the motorcycle goes away. Does that mean Vespas are out of the question as well?

10:45 pm January, 4 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ BVG 12:28
I shit you not—you are the fifth person to bring up Krampus in my presence this holiday season (It technically ends on the 9th, the Epiphany, so fuck off before you correct me, you heathen asslickers!!!) so far, I swear. That is fucking weird. And I made a massive snot rocket reading your comment. I ought to scrape this fucker up and send it to your museum, this thing looks like the Creature From The Black Lagoon.

2:36 am January, 6 Motorcycle Parts said...

You had time for things just to have another base before they were so Star’s “differential. Ah, old times

2:59 am January, 6 Canada Pharmacy said...

Its not worth it. But then I remember that only by creating a sensuality in her sensuality. And I work plucking. “

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