Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Caption This Pic


Vinny’s fat sucking techniques were unorthodox, but the results were undeniable.

# posted by douchebag1
11:34 am January, 12 Medusa Oblongata said...

I don’t know which have of the photo makes me sicker, the left or the right.

11:35 am January, 12 Medusa Oblongata said...

*half. I’m down about a quart on coffee today.

11:46 am January, 12 Eliza Douchecoo said...

wow, I have a boner, and I haven’t even made it over to the right side of the picture.

11:49 am January, 12 Redouche-Reooze-Repsycho said...

Dammit! DB1 owes me a new keyboard, now that this one is covered in vomit.

11:54 am January, 12 Eliza Douchecoo said...

Girl on right has a killer body, the girl on the left I just want to kill her body.

11:56 am January, 12 Eliza Douchecoo said...

She looks like she’s collecting foreskin and attaching to herself, not that there’s anything wrong with that.

12:04 pm January, 12 Wheezer said...

Vinny’s own stretch marks are in strange places, aren’t they?

12:04 pm January, 12 Vin Douchal said...

This is the answer to the question, “Would you fuck X (x usually = really gross gal) if you could fuck Y (Y= the desirable hottie)?.
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But only if it’s asked in Alabama and it involves everyone being related

12:05 pm January, 12 Wheezer said...

“Caution: Wet Floor – Greasy Douchebags May Be Near”

12:07 pm January, 12 Captain Scrote Sparrow said...

Vinny’s Before and After photo Booth was a complete success

12:10 pm January, 12 Captain Scrote Sparrow said...

The decision was hard, but Vinny decided to make out with his Sister.

12:11 pm January, 12 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Here we see Vinny successfully sucking the skinny hott formerly trapped on the inside of the fat chick. One down, seven more to go.

12:13 pm January, 12 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

In an attempt to further bulk up, Vinny tries unsuccessfully to suck the fat out of an unsuspecting hott. Unbeknownst to him, his problems would soon be over after turning to his right.

12:16 pm January, 12 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Enraged that someone had the audacity to steal her entire collection porch beef-covered donuts, Plinky’s mom prepares to unleash a flood of biblical proportions by doing a 21 cannonball salute into the swimming pool.

12:18 pm January, 12 creature said...

Travis boldly plunges into Tina’s genealogical hallway as her mother walks away in disgust

12:18 pm January, 12 jonezy said...

watersocks were particularly important for Vinny’s job as the sewage sweeper for the circus star known as “the woman that never stops shitting”

12:18 pm January, 12 chaserofthehott said...

That’s her mom, this is what he has to look forward to later on in life… 🙂 Always look at the mom first!!!!!!!

12:19 pm January, 12 creature said...

“I’m adopted”, Bridget coos seductively, “I’ll never turn out like mommy”

12:20 pm January, 12 jonezy said...

rare sighting of the yellow caution cone that reads “douchebags at play- enter at own risk”

12:22 pm January, 12 jonezy said...

The Loch Ness monster would have never gone on this vacation if she knew she’d be staying at the same resort that books all the Dbags

12:22 pm January, 12 Wedgie said...

While Vinny’s results were undeniable, his assistant suffered the consequences of his irresponsible disposal methods.

12:23 pm January, 12 creature said...

as Regina’s inflatable samurai suit springs a leak & deflates, Tony continues to struggle inflating Margie’s

12:25 pm January, 12 Nancy Dreuche said...

Its the new Sea World interactive exhibit called “Kiss Your Sweetie in The Walrus Tank”.

12:25 pm January, 12 creature said...

Julio focuses on the final results of his Latin American liposuction technique as he ignores the preliminary stages

12:34 pm January, 12 Condouchious said...

Vinny knew that Regina would try to inhale his last breath until he was an empty lifeless shell. He stands by his choice.

12:37 pm January, 12 Condouchious said...

With the human-Chinese Shar Pei hybrid a success, scientists are now focused on creating a hybrid that’s half-man, half-herpes.

12:39 pm January, 12 creature said...

despite the physical evidence of Pammi Sue’s sister, she convinces Hector that trailer life with her would be euphoric

12:43 pm January, 12 DoucheyWallnuts said...

“Once again John Merrick’s sister, Joan, loses the guy to a chick who doesn’t induce vomiting.”

12:44 pm January, 12 Troy Tempest said...

actually it’s the other way round – he inflates women into blubbagrogs. He takes the hottie in his hands, opens her mouth and blows. She struggles, but he keeps blowing. she goes numb and can’t move, and he completes the process. In about 10 minutes: a blubbagrog.

1:08 pm January, 12 creature said...

I’m with Troy… “line up ladies, as Javier can make the the most slender non swimmer float with ease!”

1:11 pm January, 12 Bflak said...

Man, I’m sorry but this picture is just depressing. I really feel for the woman on the left who has obviously just seen what’s going on to the right of her and is ruminating in sadness on her lost youth, opportunities and Body Mass Index. Her melancholy is palpable. I’m not kidding, you insensitive f-ers. She looks miserable. And nobody should be that miserable, especially in a bathing suit and on vacation. And nobody who’s that miserable should be mocked by us after coming face to face with an incredible douchebag macking on the woman she remembers herself to have been.

1:16 pm January, 12 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

After soaking for eight hours, Susan looks for her car keys to take Vinny and his sister Angela home. Vinny looks for the keys in Angela’s throat.

1:25 pm January, 12 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Thanks, boss. Now I won’t want to have sex for at least another year.

1:41 pm January, 12 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

That chick is very fucleable. The thigh curve, the blonde hair, the black pants, the tan. Oh how I would like to tongue massage her feminine folds and flaws. And the one on the right isn’t bad either.

2:02 pm January, 12 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

“Shallow Hal, got a gal.”

2:03 pm January, 12 Baron Von Goolo said...

And as she bent to retrieve her sandals, Greta let loose with a volley of flatus so laden with intestinal flotsam that the two young bystanders looked as if they’d been rolled in granola.

2:08 pm January, 12 Baron Von Goolo said...

Vinny put on a good show for the crowd but secretly, his loins longed for the gritty embrace of Greta’s knee folds once more.

2:15 pm January, 12 Baron Von Goolo said...

It takes more then just perseverance to be a fluffer on the set of “Gunts N’ Goiters III”.

2:23 pm January, 12 Baron Von Goolo said...

“Lube up the blowhole, Granny. You’re next.”

2:25 pm January, 12 Baron Von Goolo said...

Vinny was torn. Rachel was hot, blond and good to go. But Greta could make a panini in her armpit.

2:42 pm January, 12 Andy Capp said...

Bflak, I found your plea for understanding and compassion for the large lady on the left most touching and compelling.
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I took another look, and saw the sadness you spoke of. I was deeply moved by the sadness of her expression.
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You’re right. A woman at that point of her life, suffering the price of bad genetics and bad choices, should not be mocked in such a cavalier fashion.
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…until I noted how she facially resembles my ex-wife, who boarded an express train of self-pity, antidepressants, self-delusion, and many many many tubs of cookie dough ice cream on her way out of my life…
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So now I’m cackling like Harlan Ellison when one of his enemies meets with misfortune…and I’m toasting the skinny girl on the right with Irish Whiskey. My Ex usta be THAT size.

2:52 pm January, 12 Et Tu Douche? said...

MC 900 Foot Douchebag, FTW!!!!!!

3:10 pm January, 12 Cock-a-doodle-douche said...

Although Regina was just beginning the consumption process, you can clearly see that the Sarlacc was still in the process of digesting her last victim.

3:27 pm January, 12 G said...

Shamu moves to the deck chair to see where that cup went, as director Vinny sets the mood with his sister…

3:46 pm January, 12 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Due to both Chad and Jennifer having exceptional oral skills, Mary was never able to find her bukkit.

3:56 pm January, 12 Medusa Oblongata said...

^ DR BHD FTW. Y U NO HAF UR OWN WEBSIGHT?

4:02 pm January, 12 Medusa Oblongata said...

Bflak, you did actually make me feel bad, and I’m not going to follow that up with a “Yeah, but”. You do make me feel guilty. I come from a long line of fat people whom I love dearly. Yours truly, however, when gifted with her gene of Uncontrollable Addiction(tm) got lucky (?) and got crippling alcoholism. I happily go through life clean and sober, not taunted with mini-size portions of my drug of choice three times a day like the rest of my genepool. Watching close relatives sob before special occasions because they can’t zip their dress, while you can see my pulse through my winter coat, makes me feel rather guilty instead of superior.
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Lady on the left–you, too can have what the one on the right has, but you gotta want it. You gotta want it more than the ice cream tastes good, more than the McRib is only available for a limited time, more than your favorite candy bars are now available in king size. You can do it.

4:49 pm January, 12 mr.reeve said...

This picture reminds me of my Nana. Yes she had a rockin body like the gal on the left.

4:50 pm January, 12 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Vinny’s wing-man is chillin’ inside the hutt’s gullet.

4:50 pm January, 12 mr.reeve said...

This picture reminds me of the shat I took this morning. Yes it tried mackin on blonde hotts like the turd on the right.

5:02 pm January, 12 Andy Capp said...

Admirable personal testimony, Medusa.
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As for my “off the rack” bad joke construction, my only defense is that it’s the truth. I’m still toasting the road no longer endured.
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And, sure, that makes me a bastard…but I’m a happy bastard.
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As for the public grope happening in the right hand side of the frame, I’m siding with Oscar Wilde on this one: Not in the street, not in front of the children, don’t startle the horses.
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Straight, gay, ambidexterous…don’t matter…a little feckin decorum, please. Keep that stuff in the dungeon, where it belongs.
.

5:50 pm January, 12 Baron Von Goolo said...

Bflak, your sensitivity is touching. As in, my index finger is touching the back of my throat.
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Sure, it’s possible she’s saddened by the reckless display of hedonistic youth before her, along with all it signifies. But it’s equally possible that she’s not even paying attention to them, as she floats blissfully in the warm, wading pool of her golden years, having no envy at the rutting morons’ display, herself having been there and done that. Hell, if she cared, she might even be happy for them. Or, if the douchebag is related to her, she might be planning on slapping some sense into him at the next moment that decorum provides her.
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Just because youth gazes at old age and thinks how horrible that must be, do not assume that old age looks back at youth with jealousy. More often than not, we point and laugh.

6:15 pm January, 12 Taint Nuthin But A G-Thang said...

And this, kids, is why our American system of corn & ink must be put to an end, NOW.

6:31 pm January, 12 Andy Capp said...

As in… modified corn syrup and tattoo ink?

6:32 pm January, 12 MoeDouche said...

Here is an example where “The more the merrier” principle need not apply.

6:38 pm January, 12 Hardouche Wankstain said...

Sleevy McAquasock gets a kiss for luck before looking for his real shoes in my sister’s canke fold.

7:01 pm January, 12 Andy Capp said...

Caption: Prologue to a regrettable 3-way.

7:27 pm January, 12 John said...

…and Perseus arrived to save Andromeda-hott from the Leviathan, but his tribal tatts and blonde highlights were no match, so she devoured him.

9:09 pm January, 12 Ultra Bagnus said...

Vinny is showing some skill here. It’s hard to concentrate on tongue-wrestling the hott when the Michelin Man is hovering about…

9:11 pm January, 12 DarkSock said...

Greta slumbered away from the carnal spectacle, having learned a hard lesson about suppressing flatulence.

9:13 pm January, 12 DarkSock said...

As another satisfied customer shambles away, Vinny “Mamma Bird” Pukowski readies another gut full of warm lard and dead horse flies.

9:15 pm January, 12 DarkSock said...

As her grandson made out with the lifeguard, Edna stared wistfully at her blackened and dead pussy, which had just fallen off.
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Damn you, Reverend Chad Big Head MotherFucken Kroeger. Son.

9:29 pm January, 12 anon1222 said...

Through the desecration of a pure virgin, Vinny had summoned a near lifelike Golem from the dark depths of WHARGARBLACH.

10:04 pm January, 12 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ Andy Capp 5:02
Well, to be fair, sir, I’ll raise my coffee to you and toast for no longer being down that road myself. If you’ve never heard me rant and rave about the ex-Mr. Oblongata, he was quite the catch. If you had one of those nets like on the crab boats. He started out a burly, boxy 220 and by the time I slithered out the door, bankrupt and disgusted, he was crushing the scale at 389. I busted my ass for seven years at a chain gang of a job, while he sat home playing X-box and crushing large pizzas on the reg. Booze came back into the picture near the end, and I was begging for even a glance from a drunken, beached whale, snoring in a $900 recliner in front of a $5000 television, all paid for with my sweat. And I couldn’t even get laid in my own fuccen prison with that fucking rhino because he was too tired, too depressed, too full.
.
I know about that love through thick and thin. But when I’m think and he’s thick and he’s turning me down in favor of a beef sandwich, large fries and thai porn, well, I did the only noble thing. I smacked him with a divorce and found solace in the wiry arms of Mr. Biscotti, a man of such alarmingly lean proportions, I can bend him into any position I see fit. And he is happy to oblige. Often.

10:13 pm January, 12 Medusa Oblongata said...

Yeah, I know. You’re all tired of hearing me rip on Mr. O. Fucc off, I still burn with snakey, venomy rage, especially since he has been so astoundingly successful with the money I was forced to give him to make him go away, and I’m praying I get one more winter out of my 30 year old furnace.
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However, for enduring that, I give you this.
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I’d hit it. Without that awful Frank around, I mean I’d grow wood for the occasion.

10:45 pm January, 12 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

I’ll never understand why a fat lady like the one on the left dares to go out in public less than half-dressed and open herself to ridicule.

I’ll never understand why a couple like the one on the right dares to go out in public and act like a douchetwat with a Bleeth and open themselves to mock on HCwDB.

10:49 pm January, 12 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

I just can’t caption this pic, it’s too much. Literally.

12:36 am January, 13 Jacques Doucheteau said...

What the fuck?! Which fucking cheezburger site did HCwDB turn into while I’ve been out? I think the yesterday’s Where’s Waldouche and King Creeper were on thisisphotobomb.com about three months ago. But this pic was a flat out failblog reject.
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This is fucking pathetic. What the hell happened to this site? You know, I’d expect a lot more maturity and originality from a site as upstanding as hotchickswithdouchebags.com.
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.
.
.
.
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Wait…

12:39 am January, 13 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Still, never though I’d see titty cankles until today.

12:42 am January, 13 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Oh fine, whatever. Fuck you all, too!

2:42 am January, 13 Motorcycle Parts said...

Vinny tries unsuccessfully to suck the fat from unsuspecting Hott. Unbeknownst to him, his problems would soon after, turning to his right.

3:53 am January, 13 Steve L. said...

the Queen of Dominatrix gives her victims a final moment of solace before dominatrixing the living shit out of them.

5:59 am January, 13 FoghornLeghorn said...

Caption: The final episode of the short-lived reality show “The Vegas Bachelor” ends with runner-up Greta grabbing her flip flops and exiting the stage.

8:02 am January, 13 Wheezer said...

Re: Medusa’s video clip @ 10:13 p.m. –
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I will be, ummmmm, “indisposed” for the rest of the day. That is all.

10:07 am January, 13 Just Me said...

Axe body spray. Doesn’t attract only hot chicks.

11:14 am January, 13 Stephanie said...

At least the one on the left doesn’t pretend to be something she isn’t.

12:39 pm January, 13 Tom Choad said...

What could she even pretend to be that she isn’t, Stephanie? There are only so many guises her semblance would permit reasonable mimcry of.
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Nevertheless, that wanker with the idiotic sleeve-tatt, publicly groping some poor girl is a complete and utter douchebag. That’s what I really came to say.

1:29 pm January, 13 Captain Scrote Sparrow said...

@Medisa 10:13
Thanks! I’m stuck in my chair for awhile, had to cancela meeting…
Wow!

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