Thursday, January 6, 2011

Carrot Top. Still Out There. Still Performing in Vegas to Tourists.

Speaking of famous comedians, I think we can all agree to mock Carrot Top.

That’s sort of what he’s there for.

Like comfort food.

Still, if wallowing in Dante’s fifth canto of comedy hell (sins with props) gets you Jenny From Wichita to endure a spinal perforation just to jutt boobies for your edification, then I suppose a correct calculation took place somewhere along the life curve.

# posted by douchebag1
7:27 am January, 6 Douch-scutin' boogie said...

I like carrot top! Always have. Although having your name stiched into your own hat might be the douch trend for 2011.

7:35 am January, 6 Don't_squeeze_The _Douche said...

Carrot top is pretty funny and pretty douchy.
He is also a short shit..He walked past me after a show @ MGM Grand casino

7:37 am January, 6 mr.reeve said...

Celebubag? More like comedic pud.

7:43 am January, 6 Wedgie said...

She has excellent posture. I’m all for that, and so is my penis.

7:46 am January, 6 DarkSock said...

Whether you like or hate Carrot Top, you have to give him his props…
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sorry…

7:48 am January, 6 I R A Darth Aggie said...

I give CT props…for being a tranny hooker!

7:49 am January, 6 Wheezer said...

Jenny: My goodness, what luscious and lovely boobies!
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Carrot Top: My gawd, what a choadwank.

7:53 am January, 6 skrag2112 said...

Looking at Carrot Top for too long is like reading the Necronomicon. They both lead to madness and death.

8:02 am January, 6 Turtle Boy said...

Turtles like Carrots.

8:03 am January, 6 DarkSock said...

Prop comics are the lowest. However if there were ever a monster Gallagher/Carrot Top tour……I’m a weak man.

8:16 am January, 6 mr.reeve said...

Top before, after and the future.

8:17 am January, 6 Dex said...

Carrot Top shouldn’t be hated on. Yes, he makes a visual spectacle of himself in an effort to land Vegas hotts, but how often do you think he’s successful? Hotts will pose for a picture with him so they can throw it up on their Facebook as an ironic statement, then leave before he can ask them what hotel they’re staying in. Carrot Top never gets laid and everyone here knows it.
Also, I am highly disturbed by Jenny’s receding hairline.

8:17 am January, 6 Tom Choad said...

The giant trunk of porps was the only truly funny thing about a Carrot Top show.
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And lay off the ‘roids and cosmetic surgery, you freckled freak!

8:19 am January, 6 Redouche-Reooze-Repsycho said...

She has assumed proper motorboating position– too bad she’s not wearing something appropriately low-cut.

8:21 am January, 6 Tom Choad said...

I meant to type “props” above.
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I’s her chest that has the porps.

8:21 am January, 6 Tom Choad said...

“It’s”
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Damn– last night’s drunk is lingering…

8:27 am January, 6 soy bomb said...

Funny, a few months back I went to a “Dead Celebrities” theme party dressed as Carrot Top.
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My apologies, Mr. Top.

8:28 am January, 6 Guns-N-Douches said...

Mock CarrotTop? Surely we will.

However, I give him some respect for the pictures of him doing blow with the guys at the end of “The Hangover” .

All that said, he may be a good example of guys that look fucking stupid using their fame to nail high quality snatch.

And that isn’t too bad.

8:30 am January, 6 Nancy Dreuche said...

Psst…they’re called bangs random hott. Use them, your sixhead will thank you.

C Tops comedy isn’t the worst thing out there, but his roided out physique and Catwoman face is what makes him douchey.

8:31 am January, 6 Medusa Oblongata said...

Dear Jenny,
Just because it’s stylish doesn’t mean you should do it. I know, I know, the pouf is in right now.But it’s nit a good look for you AT ALL. Consider what you’re working with before you jump on a trend. Bangs are where it’s at for you.
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Dear Carrot Top,
Go back in your spider hole.

8:32 am January, 6 Troy Tempest said...

I don’t believe Carrot Top has ever made me laugh. Ever.

8:37 am January, 6 Mr. Biggs said...

I’m sorry what’s this carrot top everyone’s referring to? All I see is Jenny from Wichita. Overwhelmed by smile, arch, boobs … they definitely belong in Golden Globes ’11. Unless there’s a celebrity DQ.

8:38 am January, 6 Mr. Biggs said...

I think Jenny’s inspiring a new category – most stalkable hott. Someone give me a lead how I can find out where this woman lives/works/shops/uses the toilet?

8:46 am January, 6 Redouche-Reooze-Repsycho said...

I’m pretty sure that’s O.J. peeking in the background. He’s still searching for the real killers, you know.

8:48 am January, 6 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Jenny needs a new hairstyle. That forehead is so big we’ll have to call it a fivehead. But the protruding boobies are a plus.

8:57 am January, 6 Captain Garanichode said...

There is too much boob acreage coverup going on here… Won’t Carrot Top pull some sort of hedge sheer out of his sac-o-tricks and strip this vixen of this tie-dye trammel???

9:23 am January, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

When she turns 30, and she will, and her boobs deflate after she goes on a diet she will have a terrifying resemblance to Sarah Jessica Parker. Does anybody else think that Sarah Jessica Parker looks like a horse foot.? Carrot top was born a bastard child of Bela Lugosi and Lucille Ball when they did anal backstage at the Oscar’s in the 1960’s after she dumped Desi’s broke ass. What a freak!

9:25 am January, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

After a second look I do think she has an excellent bra-fitter. The rest all the same.

10:37 am January, 6 Anonymous said...

What about famous college favorite Blueberry Head?

Mr. Show fans will know what this is all about.

10:39 am January, 6 massengill said...

“Chairman of the Board” is on my top 10 favorite films of all time list. That said, Carrot Top is pretty much the worst. At least he’s not a ventriloquist.

11:13 am January, 6 Troy Tempest said...

@Massengill – of coursse he’s not a ventriloquist. He’s a dummy.

11:20 am January, 6 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Jenny’s nose, hair, and boobies are all bulbous and jutting.
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I have nothing to say about Carrot Top except that he’s so torturously NOT funny, all mocking directed against him his rendered just as cliche and lame. It’s like making fun of kids with Progeria. Just kind of sad.

11:22 am January, 6 Stephanie said...

Carrot Top was never funny,just runs through these homemade gadgets bits that aren’t working anymore. At least Gallagher wet the crowd with watermelon juice,and made it a little interesting.
Isn’t Vegas the last stand for people like this?

11:22 am January, 6 soy bomb said...

I remember an episode of RENO: 911! that Carrot Top was in and was pretty funny. He played a paranoid coke-head.
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This post was brought to you by: The More You Know…Blurring Reality with Fiction

11:30 am January, 6 Baron Von Douchemeister said...

Yeah Carrot Top is a major douche but he’s also a ‘roid rager. Ever seen this freak without a shirt on? He’s like the freakin’ incredible hulk. Douche got jacked like a pro wrestler.

11:47 am January, 6 Deltus said...

The back arch/boobage display is almost enough to make me pop a nut just looking at it. Sad thing is, Carrot Top has probably banged way more and way hotter chicks than I ever have. And that makes me cry salty fukken tears.

11:55 am January, 6 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Am I the only one who noticed Penn and Teller in the background performing the trick where Penn sticks an air hoze up Teller’s urethra and starts pumping away only to have the girl’s tits swell up and explode in a shower of balogna sandwiches and ruptured ketchup packages after which their big smiling mugs are seen protruding from her tattered dress top?

11:56 am January, 6 Nancy Dreuche said...

@soy bomb, that’s why I’m willing to give his comedy a pass since he was basically making fun of himself in that.

@Deltus, what with all the facial plastic surgery that he has had Carrot Top is probably prettier than a lot of the chicks you’ve banged.

2:32 pm January, 6 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

I wish somebody would hand over Carrot Top and his props to Criss Angel and his props and make them both magically disappear. For good..

2:49 pm January, 6 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Baron Von Douchemeister, I really wish the link to your site worked. Sounds like an interesting spin off of this site.

5:52 pm January, 6 Mr. Biggs said...

I don’t give a S*** what she looks like in 5 or ten years unless I have three kids with her. I’m stalking her ass NOW.

Stalking her boobs too.

5:52 pm January, 6 Mr. Biggs said...

Also, I think Carrot Top is better than Denis Leary in that he has the good sense to stay off TV. So I don’t get blindsided by him when I flip on Comedy Central or something.

6:16 pm January, 6 creature said...

her forehead is bigger than her boobs & juts out further…. not that there’s a problem with it, I’d slurp on that bad boy too!

9:38 pm January, 6 Hardouche Wankstain said...

I always thought Carrot Top was a Carrot Bottom, but maybe I’m wrong? If this hottie didn’t pull her hair back like that, her face would drop where her tits are and her tits to her knees.

10:06 pm January, 6 creature said...

she looks like she’s from Arkansas

10:23 pm January, 6 Motorcycle Parts said...

Looking Carrot Top is as much time reading the Necronomicon. Both lead to madness and death.

11:20 am January, 7 Mr. Biggs said...

Tie-dye + boobies = me in a trance.

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