Thursday, January 6, 2011

Fan Pooison

Welllll… it’s a marvelous night for a douchedance, with the hotts up above in your eyes… a fungtabulous douche to give Valtrex, ‘neath the cover of alchy red eyes…

# posted by douchebag1
1:27 pm January, 6 Nancy Dreuche said...

By jinky, its Son of Sharkbag! And he is three times as lame!

This pic makes me wanna decimate hella dick on the reg.
ITS BEEN SO LONG I FORGOT HOW TO GET SOME!

1:28 pm January, 6 Deltus said...

And all society’s expectations are falling
To the sight of the young bleeths that blow
And I’m trying to get used to the calling
Of the sweet hotts that play soft and low
And all the normal people seem to whisper and hush
And all the greasy douche seed seems to die in your bush
Can I just have one more moondance with you, my love
Can I just kill this choad taintstain for you, my love

1:55 pm January, 6 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Toss me a stake! It’s a dreaded vampire douche!

2:23 pm January, 6 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Photo deserves at least a Guggenheim nomination.
He’s beyond douche, he’s peacock.
.

2:23 pm January, 6 creature said...

hotts really nott…. jerz?

2:29 pm January, 6 Et Tu Douche? said...

When I think Mohawk I think Glen Plake rocking one whilst shredding the steep & deep in Tahoe on old 210 cm straight board racing skis or the real punkers from the late 70’s early 80’s. Son of Shartbag you poseur feygg there is NOTHING punk about you. Leave that poor girl alone.

2:32 pm January, 6 scott-o said...

She is squinty, like a Gilbert Godfrey, but with boobs.

2:34 pm January, 6 Deltus said...

The friend behind Squinty McCrotchrot is better looking.

2:48 pm January, 6 DoucheyWallnuts said...

The middle of the meat curtain sandwich is cute and she is digging her nails into the arm of the other bleeth in a manner that has compelled me to achieve a prodigious erection. And to my eye it looks like that can’t be his hair and has to be something behind his head that looks as if it is part of his head. For the sake of humanity I hope this is so….

2:51 pm January, 6 Et Tu Douche? said...

New category for the faux hawk rawkers out there, instead of “trashcan to the head” we should have a Doc Martin curb stomp to the head, if that doesn’t work then I say we ship them off to the pre & post game festivities of a Celtic v Ranger match and see how long they last.

2:58 pm January, 6 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

We haven’t had one of these in a while so I’ll give it a try. Here goes nuthin’… Sung to “Every Rose Has Its Thorns” by you know who.
.
The hotts go to the club
.
and try to have a good night
.
They head right to the dance floor
.
Unaware they’re locked in his sight
.
.
Was it something they said or something they did
.
are they really not all that bright?
.
Though they tried not to see him
.
Though they tried
.
But they guess that’s why they say
.
.
Every club has a choad
.
Just like every bar has a douche
.
Just like every fauxhawk looks so, so sad
.
Every club has a choad
.
.
Yeah it does
.
They head up to the bar
.
to get some Cosmos
.
He sidles up behind them and orders up a Bud Lime
.
But they wonder does he know
.
can he see the coming ‘diss?
.
And they want the bouncer here right now
.
They need to catch his sight somehow
.
I guess
.
.
Every club has a choad
.
Just like every bar has a douche
.
Just like every fauxhawk looks so, so sad
.
Every club has a choad
.
.
In just a minute
.
He’ll feel a lot of pain
.
As one of them reaches in her purse
.
for that mace, that mace will burn
.
Guitar solo
.
Now he’s crying on the dance floor
.
rolled up in little ball
.
Instead of gettin’ digits
.
the bouncer throws him at a wall
.
.
and now he’s in the alley right outside
.
absorbing the abuse
.
The bouncer really loves his job
.
using the fauxhawk to wipe the blood from his shoes
.
I guess
.
.
Every club has a choad
.
Just like every bar has a douche
.
Just like every fauxhawk looks so, so sad
.
Every club has a choad

I wish fuccen WordPress would use spaces like everything else but noooooooo.

3:01 pm January, 6 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Et Tu
.
Celtic vs Rangers. Pish, that’s kinderspiel. Try Roma vs Lazio or Barcelona vs Real Madrid or Galatasaray vs Fenerbache. Then we’d be havin’ some fun!

3:08 pm January, 6 Condouchious said...

The idea of a Vampire Sharkbag is absolutely terrifying.

3:26 pm January, 6 Vin Douchal said...

Awesome ^, Doc
.
.
On a related note, Porn Stars Without Makeup
.
I don’t care, I’d still twist Crissy Moran into a pretzel and stick everything on my being in all her holes

3:39 pm January, 6 Et Tu Douche? said...

@ Doc, there was a great 6 part series on BBC (still on the interwebs) about the blood feud between Celtic v Rangers it was pretty intense. I’ll take your word on the other match ups.

3:54 pm January, 6 Wedgie said...

Keyhole Hawk. Points for originality. Squinty has been on this site before, and she is edible. But I’d put some soy sauce on it, just in case.

On an unrelated note, I would like to thank Vin for ruining my Phoenix Marie fantasy. Fuck me, she looks like the wicked witch of the West. Please feel free to never do that again.

3:56 pm January, 6 creature said...

hey boss, it’s been a while since we had some Quartasian Hott!

4:01 pm January, 6 DarkSock said...

I’m a big fan of The Saints.
.
He’s just a Big Fan.

5:09 pm January, 6 soy bomb said...

Looks like someone took Mystery’s idea of “Peacocking” too literally. Those dumbass drunk chicks don’t seem to mind, however.

6:58 pm January, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Et Tu
I still ride my 1985 Atomic 210’s when not boarding, Good times. If I get really fucked I take out my 1978 Fischer Racing Cut 225’s but that’s just stupid.
@Vin
The Mrs. appreciated my boner.

7:00 pm January, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@DR.
Speaking of Poison. Hot Tub Time Machine was Meh but funnier than Dennis Leary’s career.

8:39 pm January, 6 Troy Tempest said...

He’s the vampire mechanical turk.

9:13 pm January, 6 Medusa Oblongata said...

Didn’t he appear here before, with a star sprayed on his hair? Or is this just the hot new douche trend coming up? Wheeze, I’m looking at you, I know you know this and I’m too sick and lazy to go looking for him. Besides, my goddamn tater tots are almost done and I get irate if I have to eat cold tater tots.

9:16 pm January, 6 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ Vin 3:26
Oh, my God, thank you. I first saw that pic of Jenna Jameson in Jane magazine several years ago. I keep trying to find it, to illustrate my point that most women actually look better when they don’t apply their makeup with a trowel. Mmmm, she is all kinds of beachy, GND nomminess without tent tons of spackle and fake lashes on.

9:31 pm January, 6 Hardouche Wankstain said...

Anyone else think this is the Sharkbag, with a cleaned up do? His hotts look similar to the multi-ethnic beauties with which he has been seen groping. Particularly the one in the back. If it is the Shark (the thinking man’s yearly winner 2010) I say welcome old friend and may your pink hawk bring the Ottoman hotts in 2011. If it is a pretender, let us remember that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2010/06/the-sharkbag-releases-the-goose/

http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2010/05/the-shark-voted/

10:06 pm January, 6 Motorcycle Parts said...

It seems there may be her hair, and must be something behind the head that looks like it’s part of the head. For the sake of humanity I hope this is the case ….

10:35 pm January, 6 One for the Choad said...

More pics of Sandwich Girl, please. Methinks she could be a potential Hall of Hott candidate, or at the very least a GND Hott winner.

10:39 pm January, 6 Wheezer said...

@Medusa, 9:13 p.m. –
.
I was thinking the same thing.

6:48 am January, 7 mr.reeve said...

I think you are right Wheezer. The Texasbag changed the color and lost the Texas star.
Me likes the middle Latina hot. Me no likes the Texas Hawkbag. Piss off!

3:08 pm January, 7 Et Tu Douche? said...

@ Rev
.
“I still ride my 1985 Atomic 210’s when not boarding, Good times. If I get really fucked I take out my 1978 Fischer Racing Cut 225’s but that’s just stupid.”
.
I too have a pair of circa 80’s Atomic 210’s, They’re collecting dust now as the last time I used them was my first time skiing Jackson Hole not realizing HOW steep that mountain is and damn near hurdled off the side of the mountain.

8:27 pm January, 7 Morbo said...

I swear, I quickly scrolled down the page while browsing for Hotts and had to do a double take on seeing this one. Not because of the douche-hott pairing, but because I realized that thing on his head was hair. At first, I thought it was a curtain or some sort of tapestry on the wall behind his head.

11:25 pm January, 7 Motorcycle Parts said...

Can not seem to be the hair and there must be something behind the head that looks like part of your head. For the sake of humanity, I hope not ….

4:47 am January, 11 Car Parts said...

If this fails, then I say send them to the party before the game and after a Celtic v Rangers game and see how long they last.

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