Friday, January 14, 2011

Friday Haiku


In search of no water,
Whobag jumpoffs plague one’s soul,
Hark! Some not gotten.

His best pickup line:
“Do you like your poultry fried?”
Don’t fall for it, girls.

— Wedgie

Stack will be trolling
FSU dorms ’til forty;
GET SOME dignity!

— Wheezer

Did his shirt start out
with giant man-load splatter,
or was it added?

— Mr. White

When will science be
able to explain how Stack
missed Darwinism?

— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche

found source of strange sound
puppies chew on table leg
Frank, help me out here

— Medusa Oblongata

Looks like Gilligan
Found Maryann and Ginger
Of the cocaine crowd

— Vin Douchal

# posted by douchebag1
7:11 am January, 14 Wheezer said...

Left hand’s holding cam
up to his ass, right where he
wants to f**k himself

7:12 am January, 14 Anonymous said...

Still using the shock
er, with hoes on meth who need
sandwiches/class/teeth

7:13 am January, 14 Anonymous said...

lime green leopardprint
hair that could clean a grill like

7:14 am January, 14 Anonymous said...

a metal brush yuck

hit tab insead of return

7:15 am January, 14 Wheezer said...

Named his cockk “Thursday”
so he could fistpump the shit
out of it when swole

7:15 am January, 14 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Die die die die die
you fuccen scumbag loser
Die die die die die

7:15 am January, 14 Fatness said...

I thought once he won
the yearly that we would be
done with this shitstain

7:18 am January, 14 Vin Douchal said...

Stackhouse after dark
When the fangs and Bleeths come out
Whobags and Jumpoffs

7:19 am January, 14 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Whobag jumpoffs will
soon hear about douchebag of
the year win. Morons.

7:21 am January, 14 Jeff Reed Towel Dispenser said...

Some evil Jedi
Can’t operate lightsabers.
Galaxy thankful.

7:21 am January, 14 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Stacky does not know
whobags rode bikes to club
for water. Rants to start.

7:22 am January, 14 Vin Douchal said...

Line for the clinic
Stack mixes with others for
Penicillin shot

7:23 am January, 14 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

These must be what’s left
when Stacky calls late for “dates”.
Trailer parks rejoice.

7:23 am January, 14 Wheezer said...

HIV cream pie
is Stacky’s most-loved dessert;
broheim Hurley drools

7:24 am January, 14 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

No class at ten for
me this term. Can partake of
haiku fun now.

7:25 am January, 14 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

The only “shocker”
that Stacky will throw tonight
is in beer bottle.

7:25 am January, 14 saulgoode42 said...

“Spit-in-me Beers” and
Christina Gaguilerra
Co-headline Wankfest

7:26 am January, 14 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Green goblin on left
and whobag jumpoff on right
give me the willies.

7:27 am January, 14 Wheezer said...

“Tallahassee Nights”:
Stacky explains the fine points
of “stuffing the bird”

7:28 am January, 14 Vin Douchal said...

Looks like Gilligan
Found Maryann and Ginger
Of the cocaine crowd

7:32 am January, 14 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Stacky is M.C.
for trailer park tranny-fest.
Gets “date” with winner.

7:32 am January, 14 Vin Douchal said...

Left to right we have
A twat, twatwaffle, a twat
Nine pounds of hair gel

7:32 am January, 14 Wedgie said...

F.S.U.’s finest
They share the same hairdresser
Frosted tips rule, bra.

7:33 am January, 14 Wheezer said...

Crushin’ no puss here,
Stack drove his Neon home, where
Hurley licked his ‘beans.’

7:34 am January, 14 mooseknuckle said...

Sideboob, Brian Bosworth, Smiley

7:36 am January, 14 Wedgie said...

Hope you hatters know
Why this ass clown ruled last year
Hot Chicks, Douchebag, win.

7:38 am January, 14 Wedgie said...

Cutie on our left
You’re breaking your parents heart
Pray you won’t get crushed.

7:40 am January, 14 Fatness said...

Photo is a rerun
Shithouse has not had even
Grade-D hott for months

7:40 am January, 14 Wedgie said...

Sweet and innocent
They’re young, dumb and full of come
Just how he likes ’em.

7:42 am January, 14 Wedgie said...

His best pickup line:
“Do you like your poultry fried?”
Don’t fall for it, girls.

7:44 am January, 14 Frank Mercurio said...

It’s January
and I still have yet to see
Stack with a hot chick

7:46 am January, 14 Medusa Oblongata said...

I guess these must be
the prostitutes he brags of?
Two for a dollar.

7:50 am January, 14 Wheezer said...

Stack will be trolling
FSU dorms ’til forty;
GET SOME dignity!

7:51 am January, 14 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Why didn’t Stacky’s
mom use a coat hanger on
herself? Why oh why?

7:52 am January, 14 Medusa Oblongata said...

I won’t fuck those chicks
even with someone else’s
elder child cock.

7:54 am January, 14 Medusa Oblongata said...

found source of strange sound
puppies chew on table leg
Frank, help me out here

7:54 am January, 14 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

When will science be
able to explain how Stack
missed Darwinism?

7:55 am January, 14 Mr. White said...

Creepy sunken face
on right Bleeth is scaring me.
Stackhouse? No comment.

7:56 am January, 14 Medusa Oblongata said...

Would Stack still crush puss
if he knew they drank water
and ride fucking bikes?

7:56 am January, 14 Wheezer said...

Every time Stacky
dips cockk in FSU slut,
Bobby Bowden cries.

7:57 am January, 14 Mr. White said...

Did his shirt start out
with giant man-load splatter,
or was it added?

8:04 am January, 14 Wheezer said...

@Mr. White, 7:57 a.m. –
.
While at FSU,
Stack was a “springboard diver”;
explains his shirt splash

8:04 am January, 14 mr.reeve said...

Stackhouse stalks the ladies while
holding low cal beer so he can
try and “crush puss on the reg” son!

8:04 am January, 14 Flyteeth said...

YOUC ANT HAVE TARMAL
WHEN YORU FACE IS COLLAPSING
YOU LIME GREENE SLAPWHOAR!

8:13 am January, 14 Sorta Damocles said...

“That’s him, Officer!”
Your string of victims ends here.
Prison shower rape

8:22 am January, 14 Doucheterminatrix 2.0 said...

Stack consoles himself
after N’ Sync audition
rejection failure.

8:28 am January, 14 Wheezer said...

Stacky can’t even
draw 50 haiku comments;
stupid choad played out?

8:41 am January, 14 antwar said...

Um! The one on the left kinda looks like Heather Brooke wearing make up, and by make up I mean make up.

I THINK

8:41 am January, 14 JohnDouchePassos said...

Hotts should know better
Than to fall for the old school
Simon Le Bon ruse

8:42 am January, 14 Vin Douchal said...

Nice work from soldiers
In our “Army of Magoos”
Stack still giant Douche

8:58 am January, 14 Elder Child Cocck said...

@medusa
I don’t understand
why you would diss me like that.
I have feelings, too.

8:59 am January, 14 Elder Child Cocck said...

I also don’t like
when I forget which alter
ego I am now.

Um…FAGOATH?

9:04 am January, 14 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Haiku not enough
Must be a better method
To mock this douchebag

9:08 am January, 14 Wheezer said...

Flyteeth multitasks;
you can do that when you have
TEH FUCCEN TARMAL

9:15 am January, 14 DarkSock said...

How many Haiku
Can DarkSock miss this year, Son?
Get Some. Outlook skiilz.

9:19 am January, 14 Redouche-Reooze-Repsycho said...

Stack won’t go away–
His douche face haunts the front page
Like recurring herp.

9:22 am January, 14 Redouche-Reooze-Repsycho said...

Who will fade sooner–
Poet of the Panhandle
Or Sarah Palin?
.
Obscurity looms
For both of those wastes of flesh,
if there is a God.

9:29 am January, 14 d.baggins said...

Was one if by land
two if by douchebag just a
double tap to head?

9:51 am January, 14 Medusa Oblongata said...

Great. Now everybody knows I ass-rape my dogs when they’re bad.
.
The funny thing is, right after I do it, like ten minutes later, they’re off destroying something and yelling, “OH, we are SO bad! OH, are we ever in BIG trouble!” Hm. I’m starting to think I need a more effective punishment.

10:02 am January, 14 massengill said...

Stackhouse “The Poet”
Should try ancient haiku form
Not drunken rambling

10:04 am January, 14 massengill said...

Stackhouse with cast of
2 Girls 1 Gross Sexual
Imposition Charge

10:43 am January, 14 Captain Scrote Sparrow said...

Vanilla Ice Bitch
two cold bleeth
next.. balls start to itch

11:56 am January, 14 Baron Von Goolo said...

Bottle blonds go moist
As he crushes ‘Hot Cross Buns’
On the recorder.

12:00 pm January, 14 Baron Von Goolo said...

^Oh wait. That’s just weird lighting on a beer bottle. HA! Guess I picked the wrong day to stop licking toads. Son.

12:03 pm January, 14 Baron Von Goolo said...

She whispers. He asks.
“What the feck is “doodie p”
And why slurp it? Eew.”

12:10 pm January, 14 Wheezer said...

Front page add needed:
Massengill’s ten-oh-four post
is one I’m mirin’!

12:51 pm January, 14 Blinded by the Shite said...

Two Whobag Jumpoffs.
Quick! set the dishwasher to
High heat, and repeat

1:36 pm January, 14 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Streaky-head Stackhouse
causes strokes when he grabs the
karaoke mike.

1:37 pm January, 14 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Year of the Rabbit
forebodes that we see Stackhouse
with many bunnies.

1:39 pm January, 14 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Like mighty Xenu,
Stackhouse keeps reappearing
here from time to time.

1:41 pm January, 14 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Even a fish wouldn’t
get caught if he kept his mouth
shut, Jason Stackhouse!

1:44 pm January, 14 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

A Stackhouse giving
the bird in-hand is worth two
hotchicks in their bush.

1:52 pm January, 14 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Kickbox Kate and Bare-
Side Sue plot to Get Some be-
fore Stackhouse gets his.

2:06 pm January, 14 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

May the bluebird of
fwappiness poop on Stack’s mike
and posterior.

4:47 am January, 15 Collaz B. Popped said...

I suck at Haiku,
Always miss the Friday mock,
Stack shocks fried poultry.

10:31 am January, 15 FoghornLeghorn said...

A night out with Stack?
Lesbianism looks good,
in comparison.

2:27 am January, 17 Motorcycle Parts said...

That were to destroy something and shouted: “Oh, we’re so bad! Oh, did you ever in trouble!

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