Friday, January 14, 2011
Friday Haiku
In search of no water,
Whobag jumpoffs plague one’s soul,
Hark! Some not gotten.
His best pickup line:
“Do you like your poultry fried?”
Don’t fall for it, girls.
— Wedgie
Stack will be trolling
FSU dorms ’til forty;
GET SOME dignity!
— Wheezer
Did his shirt start out
with giant man-load splatter,
or was it added?
— Mr. White
When will science be
able to explain how Stack
missed Darwinism?
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
found source of strange sound
puppies chew on table leg
Frank, help me out here
— Medusa Oblongata
Looks like Gilligan
Found Maryann and Ginger
Of the cocaine crowd
— Vin Douchal
Left hand’s holding cam
up to his ass, right where he
wants to f**k himself
Still using the shock
er, with hoes on meth who need
sandwiches/class/teeth
lime green leopardprint
hair that could clean a grill like
a metal brush yuck
hit tab insead of return
Named his cockk “Thursday”
so he could fistpump the shit
out of it when swole
Die die die die die
you fuccen scumbag loser
Die die die die die
I thought once he won
the yearly that we would be
done with this shitstain
Stackhouse after dark
When the fangs and Bleeths come out
Whobags and Jumpoffs
Whobag jumpoffs will
soon hear about douchebag of
the year win. Morons.
Some evil Jedi
Can’t operate lightsabers.
Galaxy thankful.
Stacky does not know
whobags rode bikes to club
for water. Rants to start.
Line for the clinic
Stack mixes with others for
Penicillin shot
These must be what’s left
when Stacky calls late for “dates”.
Trailer parks rejoice.
HIV cream pie
is Stacky’s most-loved dessert;
broheim Hurley drools
No class at ten for
me this term. Can partake of
haiku fun now.
The only “shocker”
that Stacky will throw tonight
is in beer bottle.
“Spit-in-me Beers” and
Christina Gaguilerra
Co-headline Wankfest
Green goblin on left
and whobag jumpoff on right
give me the willies.
“Tallahassee Nights”:
Stacky explains the fine points
of “stuffing the bird”
Looks like Gilligan
Found Maryann and Ginger
Of the cocaine crowd
Stacky is M.C.
for trailer park tranny-fest.
Gets “date” with winner.
Left to right we have
A twat, twatwaffle, a twat
Nine pounds of hair gel
F.S.U.’s finest
They share the same hairdresser
Frosted tips rule, bra.
Crushin’ no puss here,
Stack drove his Neon home, where
Hurley licked his ‘beans.’
Sideboob, Brian Bosworth, Smiley
Hope you hatters know
Why this ass clown ruled last year
Hot Chicks, Douchebag, win.
Cutie on our left
You’re breaking your parents heart
Pray you won’t get crushed.
Photo is a rerun
Shithouse has not had even
Grade-D hott for months
Sweet and innocent
They’re young, dumb and full of come
Just how he likes ’em.
His best pickup line:
“Do you like your poultry fried?”
Don’t fall for it, girls.
It’s January
and I still have yet to see
Stack with a hot chick
I guess these must be
the prostitutes he brags of?
Two for a dollar.
Stack will be trolling
FSU dorms ’til forty;
GET SOME dignity!
Why didn’t Stacky’s
mom use a coat hanger on
herself? Why oh why?
I won’t fuck those chicks
even with someone else’s
elder child cock.
found source of strange sound
puppies chew on table leg
Frank, help me out here
When will science be
able to explain how Stack
missed Darwinism?
Creepy sunken face
on right Bleeth is scaring me.
Stackhouse? No comment.
Would Stack still crush puss
if he knew they drank water
and ride fucking bikes?
Every time Stacky
dips cockk in FSU slut,
Bobby Bowden cries.
Did his shirt start out
with giant man-load splatter,
or was it added?
@Mr. White, 7:57 a.m. –
.
While at FSU,
Stack was a “springboard diver”;
explains his shirt splash
Stackhouse stalks the ladies while
holding low cal beer so he can
try and “crush puss on the reg” son!
YOUC ANT HAVE TARMAL
WHEN YORU FACE IS COLLAPSING
YOU LIME GREENE SLAPWHOAR!
“That’s him, Officer!”
Your string of victims ends here.
Prison shower rape
Stack consoles himself
after N’ Sync audition
rejection failure.
Stacky can’t even
draw 50 haiku comments;
stupid choad played out?
Um! The one on the left kinda looks like Heather Brooke wearing make up, and by make up I mean make up.
I THINK
Hotts should know better
Than to fall for the old school
Simon Le Bon ruse
Nice work from soldiers
In our “Army of Magoos”
Stack still giant Douche
@medusa
I don’t understand
why you would diss me like that.
I have feelings, too.
I also don’t like
when I forget which alter
ego I am now.
Um…FAGOATH?
Haiku not enough
Must be a better method
To mock this douchebag
Flyteeth multitasks;
you can do that when you have
TEH FUCCEN TARMAL
How many Haiku
Can DarkSock miss this year, Son?
Get Some. Outlook skiilz.
Stack won’t go away–
His douche face haunts the front page
Like recurring herp.
Who will fade sooner–
Poet of the Panhandle
Or Sarah Palin?
.
Obscurity looms
For both of those wastes of flesh,
if there is a God.
Was one if by land
two if by douchebag just a
double tap to head?
Great. Now everybody knows I ass-rape my dogs when they’re bad.
.
The funny thing is, right after I do it, like ten minutes later, they’re off destroying something and yelling, “OH, we are SO bad! OH, are we ever in BIG trouble!” Hm. I’m starting to think I need a more effective punishment.
Stackhouse “The Poet”
Should try ancient haiku form
Not drunken rambling
Stackhouse with cast of
2 Girls 1 Gross Sexual
Imposition Charge
Vanilla Ice Bitch
two cold bleeth
next.. balls start to itch
Bottle blonds go moist
As he crushes ‘Hot Cross Buns’
On the recorder.
^Oh wait. That’s just weird lighting on a beer bottle. HA! Guess I picked the wrong day to stop licking toads. Son.
She whispers. He asks.
“What the feck is “doodie p”
And why slurp it? Eew.”
Front page add needed:
Massengill’s ten-oh-four post
is one I’m mirin’!
Two Whobag Jumpoffs.
Quick! set the dishwasher to
High heat, and repeat
Streaky-head Stackhouse
causes strokes when he grabs the
karaoke mike.
Year of the Rabbit
forebodes that we see Stackhouse
with many bunnies.
Like mighty Xenu,
Stackhouse keeps reappearing
here from time to time.
Even a fish wouldn’t
get caught if he kept his mouth
shut, Jason Stackhouse!
A Stackhouse giving
the bird in-hand is worth two
hotchicks in their bush.
Kickbox Kate and Bare-
Side Sue plot to Get Some be-
fore Stackhouse gets his.
May the bluebird of
fwappiness poop on Stack’s mike
and posterior.
I suck at Haiku,
Always miss the Friday mock,
Stack shocks fried poultry.
A night out with Stack?
Lesbianism looks good,
in comparison.
That were to destroy something and shouted: “Oh, we’re so bad! Oh, did you ever in trouble!