Friday, January 28, 2011

Friday Haiku


Blonde Hermoine
Parties with “Hipster Potter,”
Comicon just sucks.

Slytherin house goes
for soft pastels and scarves this
year. Tim Gun shouts “Yeah!”

– Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche

News for you Hipster
“Free Tibet” bumper sticker
Is made in China

– Mr. Scrotato Head

Green silk pants, hipster hat,
Bogus scarf and bizarre tatt,
Still bags blonde with frozen smile

– Chris in ‘Baghdad

Knob-Gobbler of Fire,
he likes Chamber of Seacrest
and head, he swallows.

– Wheezer

Tag team beat poets
Ruining open mic night
With clove scented smokes

– Vin Douchal

“Hottus Attractum!”
“Hipsterbagus Nochanceus!”
“Dejecto Choadum…”

– Deltus

She smiles warmly,
hoping he’ll shut the f up
about foreign films.

– Mr. White

# posted by douchebag1
7:11 am January, 28 Wheezer said...

This Potter is gay,
or he’d wave magic wand and
make her clothes vanish.

7:13 am January, 28 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Sally Jesse is
really pissed that glasses wound
up on Dumbledwarf

7:13 am January, 28 Wheezer said...

Forecast for today:
cloudy douchey arm tatts and
misplaced blonde cutie.

7:14 am January, 28 Vin Douchal said...

Hipster cockk grabber
Has not “come out” yet to mom
Our gaydar in red

7:15 am January, 28 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Slytherin house goes
for soft pastels and scarves this
year. Tim Gun shouts “Yeah!”

7:15 am January, 28 Mr. White said...

His lime green golf pants
almost cancel out hottness
of her lack of pants.

7:16 am January, 28 Wheezer said...

An engineer cap
without stripes? Meh, he still likes
to work the caboose.

7:16 am January, 28 saulgoode42 said...

Casting couch drama
When she offered to blow him
And he bent over

7:17 am January, 28 Vin Douchal said...

Tag team beat poets
Ruining open mic night
With clove scented smokes

7:17 am January, 28 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Conductor on the
Hogwarts train seeks fashion tips
from Hermoine.

7:19 am January, 28 Vin Douchal said...

Wicked annoying
Hat, scarf, glasses ensemble
My mom wants ‘em back

7:20 am January, 28 Mr. White said...

She smiles warmly,
hoping he’ll shut the f up
about foreign films.

7:21 am January, 28 saulgoode42 said...

He’d like to direct
She is prepared to inspect
This picture infects

7:23 am January, 28 Vin Douchal said...

Shit stains still on arm
From a vigorous fisting
That was self-applied

7:24 am January, 28 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

News for you Hipster
“Free Tibet” bumper sticker
Is made in China

7:28 am January, 28 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Staring at boobies
Crosses legs to hide boner
Pfft! Like it would show

7:37 am January, 28 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Green silk pants, hipster hat,
Bogus scarf and bizarre tatt,
Still bags blonde with frozen smile

7:39 am January, 28 Wheezer said...

Ideas run dry;
a collective haiku crush
settles on the regs

7:39 am January, 28 Douchesquire said...

Harry Potter scrote
kerchief’d to keep his neck warm
should use the blonde’s thighs

7:40 am January, 28 jonezy said...

Is that an ascot?
Or is it a bib for drool?
feltch drool that is.

7:42 am January, 28 Douchesquire said...

Roots, they are showin
her stylist too busy
plunging his own butt

7:44 am January, 28 Fatness said...

Can’t resist urge to
Speed down Wicker Park sidewalk
Sixty miles per hour.

7:45 am January, 28 Wheezer said...

Not a true dickey,
but it’s wrapped around his throat
and not vice versa.

7:45 am January, 28 jonezy said...

pretty weak attempt
of a Charles Nelson Reilly
Though I’d Match her Game

7:45 am January, 28 Douchesquire said...

skinny fit scrub pants
makes dropping trou so easy
when she straps one on.

7:46 am January, 28 Douchesquire said...

I’ll tell you what friends
he didnt get those big lips
from eating doughnuts

7:47 am January, 28 mr.reeve said...

Hipster Gaybag Lance
Loves his pastel parachute pants
And some mangina

7:50 am January, 28 Vin Douchal said...

@ Wheezer
.
Not much to work with
Gay HipsterBag makes me search
Pics of Maggie Q

7:51 am January, 28 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Mark on his forehead
is not lightening bolt. It’s
from glory hole trip.

7:51 am January, 28 Wheezer said...

Bastardized version
of URC tries to hide,
settles for leg hump.

7:53 am January, 28 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

We all know that the
Sorcerer’s stone will never
found between his legs.

7:53 am January, 28 Wheezer said...

The economy
hasn’t closed the loan windows
from Vin’s Spank Bank. Thanks!

7:54 am January, 28 mr.reeve said...

Hermoine loves to show off
Her newly aquired boobies
Time for cup check

7:54 am January, 28 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Found out Dumbledore
was gay in last book. Much too
easy with this one.

7:56 am January, 28 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

This is the Weasley
child that was never mentioned.
Gay muggles don’t rate.

7:57 am January, 28 Deltus said...

He tries to please her
With “stylish” clothes, inane talk
She yearns for real man

7:57 am January, 28 Wheezer said...

Knob-Gobbler of Fire,
he likes Chamber of Seacrest
and head, he swallows.

7:58 am January, 28 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Hipster Potter in
“Chamber of Secrets”? More like
“Chamber of Secrest”

8:00 am January, 28 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Wheezer you big dog!
Great minds think alike. And then
Theres us dumb asses

8:00 am January, 28 Wheezer said...

‘Great minds,’ Scrotato!
The mock lives in us all, as
does lust for boobies.

8:00 am January, 28 mr.reeve said...

Hairless Potter Gayster wants
to attract the boys for a game of
hide the hot dog in the bun

8:01 am January, 28 Deltus said...

“Hottus Attractum!”
“Hipsterbagus Nochanceus!”
“Dejecto Choadum…”

8:03 am January, 28 DarkSock said...

He channels his angst
About non-vegans to art
Via Macramé

8:04 am January, 28 DarkSock said...

Her high kicks in slow
As he drones about Tofu;
“Thank you, Percocet!”

8:07 am January, 28 DarkSock said...

She loves time with Lance;
He’s sensitive and funny.
Dildo feeds kitty.

8:08 am January, 28 DarkSock said...

His PT Cruiser
Has a sweet custom paint scheme:
“Mystery Machine”

8:08 am January, 28 dknutty said...

Douche, imitating
Sally Jesse Raphael
is not flattery

8:09 am January, 28 DarkSock said...

We poke fun at him
But inside our heart of hearts
We’re all going, “Pfah???”

8:10 am January, 28 DarkSock said...

He will take her home,
Flip her onto her stomach,
Pretend she’s “Gary”.

8:11 am January, 28 DarkSock said...

She exudes beauty;
A bright lovely radiance;
He farts white yogurt.

8:12 am January, 28 DarkSock said...

Hey, is this thing on?
Is anyone else in here?
**turns off lights and leaves**

8:16 am January, 28 mr.reeve said...

DarkSock made me spit
cereal all over my computer
“He farts white yogurt.” FTW

8:21 am January, 28 Wheezer said...

“He farts white yogurt”
and “I peed in a horse once”;
‘Sock has plenty more…..

8:27 am January, 28 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

“He farts white yogurt”
is his fave Goethe abstract
And his fav’rite meal

8:29 am January, 28 Johnny said...

Supressing boner,
It’s all too confusing for,
Hipster turdpacker

8:29 am January, 28 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

His fav’rite album?
The Buttles Sgt. Poopers
Yogurt Fart Club Band

8:29 am January, 28 Mr. White said...

Most commenters are
in Egypt–interwebs are
turned off for today.

8:42 am January, 28 justadouchalo said...

Wild and crazy guys
George and Yortuk Festrunk find
Gay brother Douchetruk

8:46 am January, 28 paperorplastic said...

Phillip Johnson called
can’t see much six feet under
needs his glasses back

9:03 am January, 28 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

He fancies polo
Likes to watch the ponies ride
Wishes they ride him

9:34 am January, 28 massengill said...

Deltus’s haiku,
Danzig’s voice, Samhain, Misfists
song: Halloween II

9:57 am January, 28 Douche Springsteen said...

I always wake up too late to throw my 2 cents in for a haiku. Wasn’t this guy on Sex & The City?

10:05 am January, 28 FoghornLeghorn said...

Yikes. Tight pastel pants
declare gender confusion.
Give them to the blonde.

10:30 am January, 28 Baron Von Goolo said...

I have never laughed so hard at a Friday haiku as I did @ Mr. White 7:20am. It’s like you were there, man. It’s like you were there.

11:17 am January, 28 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Douche Fashion Checklist
Gay Glasses, Check; Cum Bib, Check
Bad Tatt, Check; Bleeth, Check

2:27 pm January, 28 Anonymous said...

wow

8:05 pm January, 28 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

The New Beat Gener-
ation rejects Ginsburg and
opts for suckle thigh.

8:13 pm January, 28 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

There’s more to Mid-Cen-
tury Modern than home decor.
Retro-Beatnik? Check.

8:16 pm January, 28 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

“Howl!” does he love her?
Let’s count the ways: Cap, scarf, beard,
tatts, celandon slacks….

8:21 pm January, 28 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Horn-rims and crossed legs
are a prim substitute for
a horny ‘tude, Dude.

12:29 am January, 29 Motorcycle Parts said...

Let me tell you what friends he did not get those big lips eating donuts

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