Friday, January 14, 2011

Friday Thoughts and Links

If ever we think we’ll run out of HCwDB material, there’s always Vegas. Waiting for us. To comprehend the hottie/douchey dialectics in toto.

Like a buttcheek pimple, it speaks to us.

It says, “do not sit on me or I will burst!” And so I nickname it “Howie” and sit anyway.

Here’s your links:

Your HCwDB DVD Pick of the Week: “As the days go by, we face the increasing inevitability that we are alone in a godless, uninhabited, hostile and meaningless universe. Still, you’ve got to laugh, haven’t you?”

Dylan McDermott is…. John Douche.

I’d buy that for $269 Euros! Boobies sell, kids. Boobies sell. (features many naked and glorious not safe for work boobies)

Bachelor Party’s Tom Hanks has a son, and that son is unworthy of having a father who was the lead in Bachelor Party.

Douchebags in the News: Lonnie Morris Stuffs $50s in his pants. Yet another reason why Ohio is on my list of potential douchiest state of 2011.

T-Shirt Company starts a promotion where they’ll take Ed Hardy and Affliction donations and give them to homeless people. First world nations should not be this cruel to the must unfortunate among us.

The Jersey Shore continues to be the greatest spreader of Grieco Virus among the young, and while I share a network with the show, its douchal spread is undeniable.

Finally, there is Pear.

There is glorious Pear.

And then there is Chipped Wall Pear.

It’s like two cushions that sing the praises of the glory of Adonai.

Go forth. For the weekend is upon.

# posted by douchebag1
12:57 pm January, 14 Andy Capp said...

Has Lonnie Morris been featured on this site previously?
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Seriously funny photo on that link, which gave me “Swingers” flashbacks….
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“…You’re so money….”

1:07 pm January, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Holy Sweet Jebus! An aerial invasion of areoli like none before. My erectile dysfunction is cured. Long live the boobies. And fuck that girl who starred in Precious was a sweet piece of ass.

1:11 pm January, 14 Micah Mills said...

I love John Douche Shea .

1:11 pm January, 14 Deltus said...

I’d shop at Fleggaard or whereverthefuck it was, based solely on the merits of that commerical. And you weren’t kidding about Chipped Wall Pear, were ya?
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I’d turkey-slap the cured hide of a feral mongoose just for the one in three chance of chewing a week-old, discarded piece of her gum.

1:12 pm January, 14 mr.reeve said...

Boobs and Pear. My co-workers and I thank you.

1:14 pm January, 14 Chet Haze said...

Yo, fuck off yalls! I am the real deal like Evander Holyfield. SSHHHHIIITTTT!!! SON!

1:21 pm January, 14 RUSH said...

Hot damn. That’s a succulent pear. I believe I will have to retire to a private area to jerk off.

1:40 pm January, 14 Menschenjaeger said...

To paraphrase Elayne Boosler…I want to buy TWO of those Siemens washing machines, and then put my head between them and go BBBBBBBBBBLLLBBBLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLLL!

1:53 pm January, 14 Redouche-Reooze-Repsycho said...

@RUSH:
Are you looking for a Passage to Bangkok?
.
Or are you going to have a Show of Hands to Roll the Bone? Remember, if you’re In The Mood, you have the Freewill to Stick It Out for that Secret Touch and Hold Your Fire until Circumstances bring you that Sweet Miracle. Also, have some kleenex ready, because The Weapon sometimes gives a Distant Early Warning, and The Big Money could leave an Afterimage of Spindrift and Vapor Trails after you find your Mystic Rhythms. But don’t resist a chance to get One Little Victory.
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Son.

1:53 pm January, 14 I R A Darth Aggie said...

You should also check out trailer 3: http://www.m2film.dk/fleggaard/trailer3.swf the “making of” clip.

1:55 pm January, 14 Redouche-Reooze-Repsycho said...

Damn. I forgot to capitalize “Resist.”
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That’s my Malignant Narcissism for you.

2:09 pm January, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@RRR

Time Stand Still with that sweet thing from “Til Tuesday gets my Necromancer stiff like a Working Man. I’d like to Caress Her Steel with my Tom Sawyer and Lakeside her Park With my Fly By Night while I was working her Hemispheres with my giant Xanadu.

2:12 pm January, 14 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Everyone
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Due to feeling like absolute shit and boredom I stumbled upon this little nugget from our very own Stackopus:
Really. Really? Really?! REALLY!!!! Now, don’t get me wrong, this is about 75% amusing to me and 25% anger-provoking. This Brazilian bitch doesn’t know me personally or my background. I may be many things: neurotic, oversexed, caustic, narcissistic, and underpaid – and most definitely I AM a bitch – but I am not ignorant. I went to Brown University, you cunt. Where did you get your education? Oh wait, you didn’t even go to college did you? that’s right … Kiss my cute, Ivy-League ass. Get Some. <3"
.
He is now claiming he went to Brown University. For reals son? GET SOME anti-psychotics.

2:26 pm January, 14 Redouche-Reooze-Repsycho said...

@Dr. BH
I think “Brown University” is a euphemism for all the gay anal sex he’s had. He got his MFA/BS (muthafuckin’ ass/bitch-slammed) at “Brown.”

2:36 pm January, 14 Captain Scrote Sparrow said...

This week on “Trading Spit with Friends”, Micky and Mikey forget who was dating bleeth and who was with “her friend”.. you decide!

2:52 pm January, 14 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ RRR
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I was guessing that the world-wide headquarters of UPS must be located somewhere in New England and that Stacky had to report for truck driver/package handler training there. Poor stoopid bastard.

3:07 pm January, 14 Collaz B. Popped said...

“White kicks/ Purple kush/ This is college, hittin blunts after hittin books,” Chet explains. “I got a call from the brothers in the frat house/ I’m with my girl, tryin to get up under that blouse/ She a freshman/ She a freak though/ In the bed, but a lady in the street, yo.”

Downfall of Western Civilization in a nutshell. Fuck Hank’s trust fund SON.

Gotta agreee with RUSH,,,that is SUCCULENT PEAR!

3:13 pm January, 14 Troy Tempest said...

One of my future ex-wives has died: Trish Keenan, the singer from Broadcast, died from complications of pneumonia. She was only 42. Watch this video of my icy hypermediated musical goddess, and know that a great musical talent has passed. She was beautiful and talented and a really fun and funny person.

3:30 pm January, 14 The Boston Red Sox said...

Nice asspear. Where is Soy Bomb? We want to thank him for being our number 1 fan. We love you. Go you!

P.S. Love the site.

4:18 pm January, 14 Et Tu Douche? said...

Hmmmmm Pear, succulent juicy Pear.
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Re; Jizz Shore, that is horrendous!!
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Beinlich is an A-Hole

4:23 pm January, 14 DarkSock said...

I’m no Wheezer but I never forget a pear…that boo-tay belongs to Fenny, aka Ass Pear LaPlante, aka the fleshy bike rack for mine face.

4:24 pm January, 14 DarkSock said...

And 10 points to The Superficial for naming Snooki an “Over-Tanned Slam Pig”.

4:43 pm January, 14 ehcuodouche said...

Holy areoli! A red dwarf box set! Smegarific!

6:05 pm January, 14 Medusa Oblongata said...

Ah, I like Broadcast. Trish always seemed like a less insane version of that swedish chick from The Knife.

6:55 pm January, 14 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

I’m writin’ a menu, and Chipped Wall Pear and Chipped Porch Beef seem like a great combination.

Followed by a trip to the dentist for the Chipped Teeth that came about from chompin’ on the wall.

8:09 pm January, 14 Troy Tempest said...

@Medusa:
agreed. Only, Trish was a trip. A total pistol. Not “cool” like the video.

8:47 pm January, 14 Mr. White said...

There’s a place just down the road, in Framingham, that makes some of the best BBQ slam pig I’ve ever had.

8:56 pm January, 14 Wedgie said...

Good call Sock; you stole my thunder. It’s La Plante.
In response to the Doc’s post re: Stackhouse, Brown University was also a nickname for Polk Street in San Francisco during my younger days. For the uninitiated, that is a mecca for our same-sex loving brothers and sisters.
Sounds like the poultry king has finally come out.

10:21 pm January, 14 Doucheterminatrix 2.0 said...

^ I concur, Wedgie. Again, Stackhouse the Poet in his own words:
“…most definitely I AM a bitch…”
Medusa, this seems to be a situation tailor-made for Frank.

11:14 pm January, 14 Jacques Doucheteau said...

That’s some meaty pear. I heartily approve.
.
.
.
.
.
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And by approve, I mean job my nob
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.
.
.
.
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And by heartily, I mean… uh, heartily…
.
Yeah.

2:31 am January, 15 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I just saw some marble mouthed fuck on TV named Tracy Morgan. Can someone kill it before it spreads out of your country please. We can’t have that shit all up in our bithness in the rest of the world. Movafuka this, Brovafucka that.

7:32 am January, 15 Wheezer said...

Chipped Wall Pear LaPlante and Boobie Hott Sky-ndivers leave me, well…..let’s just say not needing any little blue pills.
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My right wrist is going to be very sore, and unfortunately, I’m not quite ambidextrous.

9:14 am January, 15 Blinded by the Shite said...

@ The Rev: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DOhKrL5DB1Y
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Unearned dog-tag and shirtless indoors, but I think he gets a pass for “I lost my leg in Vi-ET-nam!”

9:19 am January, 15 Jacques Doucheteau said...

FYI, the Brown U poster on jasonstackhouse.com is some self described “blonde goldfish” who goes by the moniker of Jocelyn.
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What I gathered from her rant, is that she takes much joy in rubbing her ivy league education in the faces of alcoholic old ladies with bad fake tits. I guess if you’re a bartender at an establishment that’s dead during Sunday Night Football in frikin’ Fort Lauderdale, you get your free entertainment where you can.
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I had no idea that going to bartending school and getting a food handler permit constituted an ivy league education. Mabye going to Brown University is a euphemism for letting her boss roto-root her ass hole out for a disproportionate share of the tip jar. Bitch.

9:23 am January, 15 Wedgie said...

^That would be Brownhole University.

9:31 am January, 15 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Or Browneye University.

10:13 am January, 15 FoghornLeghorn said...

@I R A Darth Aggie
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I want to grow up to be the guy that helps them get into their parachutes. Good work, if you can get it.

10:58 am January, 15 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@ Blinded

Maybe he’s funny when stoned. I may be funny whem I’m stoned. But I can’t stand the slurring of words and pregnant talk. And my parents hate me when I’m stoned as well. I have to go and pick up my new oue of chronic. I’ll still mail this shit to any takers if you are prepared to be stoned for half a week. The
Canadian shit is psychodelic son. My babysitter hasn’t been right for 3 days. But I fucked her Bad Santa style while she was wasted.

10:58 am January, 15 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^ounce

12:19 pm January, 15 Wedgie said...

Interestingly, when I was at San Diego State back in the day, two of my college dorm buddies were from Hawaii. They got the best buds around from their bro’s back home, in the Punahou area of Oahu. They said most of the locals enjoyed the fine herb, and these particular guys used a trumpet mouthpiece as their bong bowl.
If memory serves, didn’t our current President once attend school in this area? I wonder if he enjoyed da kine buds when he was younger. No wonder he speaks so “highly” of his time there.

12:50 pm January, 15 Hermit said...

Once you’ve experienced the blissful euphoria gained from inhaling small ammounts of dried ocelot semen, you’ll find that cocaine, cannabis and all the rest are simply child’s play.

2:37 pm January, 15 Ed Hardouche said...

Does anyone else think that Pear should be in the Hall?

8:21 pm January, 15 Frank Mercurio said...

Does anyone else think that I should be in Pear?

9:26 am January, 16 mr.reeve said...

Does anyone else think we have another unfinished tatt guy above?

12:14 pm January, 16 Tom Choad said...

Between the parachuting boobies and the chipped wall pear, I ended up painting my ceiling with a DNA sample. Great Friday links, DB1.

2:23 am January, 17 Motorcycle Parts said...

Big Money is Spindrift could leave a residual vapor trails, and after Mystic Rhythms. But not resist the chance to get one of a small victory.

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