Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Grampa Joel Wins

There are oldbags like Marvin, from yesterday, whom we mock for trying to douche it up like the kids.

And then there’s Grandpa Joel.

Who wins.

Because he’s still out there.

Hell, he’s still alive and lovin’ boobies. Have a full and complete nottadouche pass, Grampa Joel. Go in peace, and may your Metamuscil be fast acting.

# posted by douchebag1
7:12 am January, 25 Douche Springsteen said...

This is funny and all. But I still hate Las Vegas.

7:12 am January, 25 Wheezer said...

Meanwhile, the brothabag behind them celebrates his first glass of Mr. White’s Special Lager.

7:16 am January, 25 DarkSock said...

I got a C-note says this won’t be the first time Vinnie “The Icepick” Travini got to whack Big Pussy.

7:17 am January, 25 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Mammy Miami’s grampa Papa Palm Beach.

7:19 am January, 25 DarkSock said...

The winners of the crude bet erupted in cheers as Grampa Jones, without hesitation, clamped his gums down around the brown encrusted end of Darla’s year-old dried dessicated tampon.

7:19 am January, 25 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

After selling Snetsinger’s Jewellers Joel never returned to New York.

7:21 am January, 25 DarkSock said...

Arther passed away the next year, making Darla a very rich young woman. But she never ate noodles again.

7:23 am January, 25 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

He hasn’t been to temple in 500 sabbaths but I bet his bling is a Star of David and his cigars are wholesale. He buys his shorts by the gross.

7:26 am January, 25 shawk said...

Good for him. Even if it is his granddaughter.

7:29 am January, 25 Andy Capp said...

Granda Joel (or Guiseppe) indeed does WIN.

He’s fooking beamingly happy, and is considering spitting out that Cancer Log, turning his head to the left, and gnawing some serious hottie nipple…

Then again, that could be his “personal assistant.” Damn…the things a girl has to do in this economy.

7:42 am January, 25 Ted Brogan said...

Great job!

7:49 am January, 25 Medusa Oblongata said...

Alan Arkin’s post-Oscar win celebration.

7:50 am January, 25 Douchelips said...

Grandpa Joe FTW! Enjoy your pass grandpa, you deserve it.
.
I suspect that’s what my grandfather was doing in Florida in the early ’90’s. There were lots of ‘golf’ outings and other ‘errands’ that needed to be done without grandma.

8:00 am January, 25 Wedgie said...

You fuccen-a right he wins. That’s the guy that runs the sports book at the Sands. And she is just one of many job-related perks.
Old guys rule.

8:02 am January, 25 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Grandpa Joel shook Sinatra’s hand, so he gets a lifetime nottadouche pass. He was in Vegas when the hotels were smaller but seemed bigger, tough guys were really tough, and douchebags were something that were thrown in the trash after finishing up with a ‘”professional girl” you met at the hotel bar.

8:05 am January, 25 Deltus said...

I don’t care what you say. When Marvin gets his mack on with some hott, it’s amusing. When Grandpa Joel does it, you want to vomit. Joel, sweetie, your grandchildren consider that hott to be rather immature. It’s just… oh shit, excuse m… *runs to bathroom with finger to pursed lips*

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Jay Louis, Eric Arnold. Eric Arnold said: @JayLouis This is genius. We all want to be Grampa Joel someday. http://bit.ly/fJBKBq [...]

8:08 am January, 25 I R A Darth Aggie said...

What a beautiful sight. Makes me want to cry. I can only hope to be chasing the hott when I reach that age.

8:16 am January, 25 Nancy Dreuche said...

Grandpa Joel made that quarter he pulled out of my ear into a necklace. Meh, I can’t mock this old guy. But if he started smokin hot chicks insteadbof smokin hot cigars he might live long enough to give me my quarter back.
.
Man, I feel seriously Kroegered today. That one Tylenol PM really packed a punch. Watch out heavy machinery I’m coming to operate you!

8:27 am January, 25 Douchetorious B.A.G said...

Rehab…… Where all things Douche and Hott are bathed in the herp infested waters of the pool.

8:39 am January, 25 Anthony LaBaglia said...

I think that’s MJ in the back and he’s got his dick in both of them. At once, son.

8:57 am January, 25 Your Average Rocker Bag said...

May I still be Douching it up in my ripe old days like this grand prehistoric fossil. This picture is a shining beacon of hope, even if it is tainted with douche.

Douche on Joel, douche on.

9:06 am January, 25 Collaz B. Popped said...

Grandpa Joel,,,,no GSR.

Nice rack on the hottie.

9:09 am January, 25 Captain Garanichode said...

Immediately concluding his colonoscopy, Papa Joel snagged a Fuente second and someone to hold it for him during the indubitable incontinent doody.

9:16 am January, 25 creature said...

Sam, Samuel “Sammy the Gaffe” Weinstein, told me I had a week to pay off my NFL account or Tonya “The Tranny” Bimbarelli would break my legs

9:38 am January, 25 Vin Douchal said...

YAY!!!!!!! When Grandpa Joel wins, we ALL win. Usually because we’re all on the “hard 6″ when the point is eight and he’s rolling “Toity-Trees” like there’s no tomorrow
.
.

@ Douchey Wallnuts I have a great personal Sinatra story if you’re interested.

9:50 am January, 25 Troy Tempest said...

IF by some weird small chance he really is getting that kind of tail at his age, I say: Good On Ya Mate! Granpa Joel FTW for the year, so far.

Now there’s a new douche category – the nottadouche / win category. So far, Granpa Joel is WAY i nthe lead.

9:56 am January, 25 creature said...

most expensive first date….GP Joel pays by the roll of flesh

9:56 am January, 25 creature said...

$5k easy

9:59 am January, 25 Andy Capp said...

@creature:
.
.Sure, she’s $5k a go, but he’s Terminal…and he’s hoping his bad ticker “checks out” whilst he’s in the saddle, stoked up on Viagra and Stoli…
.

9:59 am January, 25 Andy Capp said...

.
…come to think of it, that’s EXACTLY how I’m going out…
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
(oink)
.

10:01 am January, 25 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

They have a lot in common. They both have impressive tits.

10:02 am January, 25 Douchble Helix said...

Her cup has that Rx drug store symbol on it. And the only other female in the photo is the nurse on the left.

I think its a Joel’s umteenth wedding, and the big colored guy is the chuppa.

http://www.google.com/images?oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&q=jewish+wedding+chuppah&um=1&ie=UTF-8&source=univ&ei=Lg8_TfqVGcHZgQeHs_D5CA&sa=X&oi=image_result_group&ct=title&resnum=3&ved=0CD4QsAQwAg&biw=1280&bih=851

10:11 am January, 25 DarkSock said...

He gets a GramPass.

10:15 am January, 25 FlipFriddle said...

Gramps FTW indeed. The best part is that the hotts think the old guys are “cute” when we all know that us males have the same filthy, disgusting, vagina-filled thoughts from the time it awakens in adolescence until the time they put us in the ground. That shit don’t go away, son.

Ok. I’ll stop with the son now.

10:27 am January, 25 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Despite being the coolest geezer at the pool, he is still required by law to hike up his shorts over his belly button and sinch the drawstring tighter than a nun’s butthole.

10:37 am January, 25 Douchey Lewis and the News said...

I have to agree with Andy Capp’s name change to Guiseppe. This guy looks like an Angelo, Geno, or Silvio. I would know, I have 3 great uncles named Angelo, Geno, and Silvio. It’s best not to bring girl friends near them…there is generally some…unpleasantness.

10:53 am January, 25 Wheezer said...

Dickie V can sure pull some tail.

10:56 am January, 25 Anthony LaBaglia said...

Wheeze:

“What has happened with underclassmen declaring for the NBA draft? It is absolutely wacky, baby!”

10:57 am January, 25 Anthony LaBaglia said...

It’s Pat Morita. He took off the top half of his gi for the pic.

11:04 am January, 25 Wheezer said...

Anthont:
.
I think Dickie V likes his boobies with a capital ‘BLBBBLBBLBLLLBBBBBBBLBLBLBBBBLBBBLBBBB.’

11:05 am January, 25 Wheezer said...

That of course should read “Anthony*” – I need a fuccen proofreader.

11:19 am January, 25 dB said...

Hero status. Good call on the nottadouche.

11:21 am January, 25 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

“Back in my day we used to tie porch beef sandwiches around our necks and douse ourselves with Brill Creme and Vick’s vapo-rub to pull the hotts. That was the style back in my day. Come to think of it, I could go for a nice Ruben sandwich right about now. Where did that little bastard of a waiter go. Stupid shit brings nothing but drinks around, but no food. What kinda joint is this? I’ll tell ya. I used to be able to spend $5 and get a nice Ruben sandwich, a bottle of beer, and a hooker for a week! Now it gets me a condescending pat on the head. Yeesh, kids these days.”

11:30 am January, 25 Et Tu Douche? said...

She looks like she’s graced this site before and is sultry hott
.
Grampa Joel or Joey is what is called a “Whale” He’s won and lost more money at the tables then she’s had hot meals. She thinks she’s playing him however he knows the “Game” and has been playing it I might add well since before she was born. Keep on playing Gramps and let her think she is “winning”.

2:59 pm January, 25 Mr. Biggs said...

What? Sorry, DB1, this is the one you had to pull out the Harold and Maude Preacher clip for.

3:00 pm January, 25 Mr. Biggs said...

Rehab. Where even saggy old man-boobs get to cop a feel.

4:00 pm January, 25 Andy Capp said...

.@ Douchey Lewis;
.
“Unpleasantness” being code for said uncle cocking his head to one side, whistling low and saying to your GF “Hey, baby, great melons! They real?”
.
Then the hand snakes towards said GF’s chestal region…just to check….
.
…with hilarious results…
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Yeah, I had the same uncles…
.

5:37 pm January, 25 Snoop Douchey Bagg said...

Nice to see a little bit of the “old Vegas” still exists.

10:22 am January, 26 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Nice to know Rihanna goes old school when it comes to who represents her bid’ness.

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