Thursday, January 6, 2011

Homeless Phil Collins Gives You Both Fingers

Is this another pic of layabout East Ender douchebag Homeless Phil Collins?

If so, he’s regrown some hair, becoming more of a Homeless Bryan Brown.

But Michelle is quality overpriced First Date hott. And so Asian Bartender Ken tolerates it all, and studies for his transfer to Oxford next semester.

And on an only semi related note, Sussudio defined the worst of mid 80s pop suckage, and if I hear it on the radio again, I will call in and request the only suitable 80s pop antidote.

# posted by douchebag1
11:30 am January, 6 Army of DOuche-ness said...

“This is Sussudio, great song, personal favorite.”- Patrick Bateman.

11:41 am January, 6 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Come on. The 80s gave us such gems like Zodiac Mindwarp & The Love Reaction. In the Prime Mover video the band busts into a nunery riding a rock n’ roll tank all unshaven, sweaty and done up in leather, chains, and aviator glasses. The lead singer shoots lasers from his hands and eyes that set teddy bears on fire and makes nuns’ heads explode. Then the guitarist rips out an iconic 80s buttrock solo that makes lightning shoot from his guitar that turns all the catholic school girls into dancing leather clad sluts! I think there’s even one point near the end of the video where one of the girls is giving the drummer a blow job.
.
That’s what the 80s was all about.

11:48 am January, 6 Vin Douchal said...

This is the same guy that played the drums on ” The Battle Of Epping Forest ” ?
.
.

He’s sending his brainwaves out to his local 7-11 to put some extra sausage sandwiches in the heated glass display ’cause we got’s company

11:49 am January, 6 Medusa Oblongata said...

^ Holy flaming cow, JD!!! It’s like Motrohead had gay sex with Judas Priest and they all shit out chunks of Whitesnake!!!! I need another shower and my hair isn’t even dry from the last one yet.

11:50 am January, 6 Medusa Oblongata said...

Motorhead. Sorry. Day-Quil, it’s a hell of a drug!

12:00 pm January, 6 Wedgie said...

Fabulous T-Birds. Great band.
My penis likes The Blasters too.

12:00 pm January, 6 anonymouse said...

Except for HPC’s pose, I feel the others in this pic qualify it for your upcoming museum exhibit. Quite the piece of modern existentialism.

12:02 pm January, 6 Nancy Dreuche said...

Poor Asian bartender Ken. I’m sorry you have to witness the dregs of society like Startatt McMindbender and DrawnonEyebrows Tonya everyday. I hope you at least make some solid tips.

12:08 pm January, 6 Mr. White said...

He seems to have an invisible touch yeah
He reaches around, and grabs right hold of your cocck
He seems to have an invisible touch yeah
He takes control and quickly causes pink sock.

12:08 pm January, 6 Deltus said...

@Jacques: that is the ultimate 80’s video. I’m blown away by it’s utter perfection.

12:10 pm January, 6 Wheezer said...

As I head off to work, I must wonder: Will the vacant stare bleeths eventually shave off their eyebrows and tattoo them back on? Or am I simply waaaaay behind the curve on this?

12:20 pm January, 6 FredN. said...

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG.

Only my third post, and it’s not even mock.
Thank you Jacques Doucheteau, I have trying to think of the name of that band for over TWO YEARS now.

I liked them in the 80’s (as a teen), and wanted to d/l the music in various fits of nostalgia. I couldn’t remember the name, and you should have *seen* my attempts at googling the band (“garbageman looking singer + leather + cool 80’s rock + not gay + maybe gay”).

My life is complete.

12:25 pm January, 6 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Zodiac Mindwarp’s biggest claim to fame was that they co-wrote Feed My Frankenstein with Alice Cooper, whom along with Guns n’ Roses they also toured with extensively in the late 80s.
.
Sleeze rock at its best.

12:26 pm January, 6 FredN. said...

P.S. It had taken me 3 years prior to that to remember another favorite Brit band, Fields of the Nephilim, and that was definitely worth it.

12:30 pm January, 6 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Piles of cocaine, booze, leather hats, and back-alley blow jobs. And of course Appetite for Destruction was the culmination of everything Zodiac Mindwarp created, and what Turbonegro continues to pay homage to.
.
Rock n’ fucking roll.

12:39 pm January, 6 Andy Capp said...

I think it was Graham Parker who noted that every record company in the 80s, “wanted the drums to sound like they had been dropped off the Empire State Building”. That and the tendency of coke up producers to crank the treble “to 11” created all those ghastly, explosive, tinnitus causing recordings.
.
With this in mind, I nominate Sussudio as the sonic poster child for all that was wrong with mainstream 80s pop…and record companies (may they RIP).
.
As for Homeless Phil….I’m sensing that he’s slowly but inevitably swirling towards the drain…his raging alcoholism continues unabated. He’s moving into the disheveled stage, and will soon be filling his holey boxer briefs unprovoked.
.
You can see Purple Hottie’s nostrils twitching at the first whiff of incontinence…
.

12:40 pm January, 6 Andy Capp said...

That’s COKED UP PRODUCERS, dadgummit….
.

12:57 pm January, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

That dude is post-tattoo Peter Frenette, one of Canada’s great rock singers. He sang the chorus on “All we Are” the eponymous rock ballad by genius musician Kim Mitchell. The song was written by famed lyricist Pye Dubois and Kim Mitchell. Pye also wrote the greatest song ever by the Titans of Toronto, The Zildjian slammers, The Fly By Nights, The Holy Triumvirate, The Lakeside Park Jews, Did I mention I loves me the Jews but my wifes been a bit of a bitch and I apologize for any anti semitic inferences since Christmas? The Caresses of Steel, The Greatest band to never get into the CLEVELAND rock hall of fame, fucking Cleveland. RUSH. And the greatest song of all time, Tom Sawyer. I love you man. Nancy Dreuche leave the three horsemen of the Rockopalyse alone you sexy virgin. Sorry for all that, I have to go to Youporn now to get a boner for the Mrs. Kroeger when she gets home. Cause I is crunked on the juice. Fuck off Dennis Leary you fag.

1:05 pm January, 6 Nancy Dreuche said...

@The Rev, Only for you will I stop clowning on RUSH. And jew jokes are funny, so no worries.

1:25 pm January, 6 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

That Chriss Angel sure can pick a hotts nose. With his thumb!

1:54 pm January, 6 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Splitting atoms with his mind…and fingers…

1:59 pm January, 6 Et Tu Douche? said...

I’ll NEVER clown on RUSH, my Polk Monitor 10A’s love them and I love them for replicating the sonic mastery the is Neil, Geddy & Alex. Saw them in the Worcester centrum early 89’s back when it was general admission and no seats on the floor. That was one smoky hazed crazy night
.
@Db1 As for the Fabulous T-Birds “Wrap it up” is another solid antidote from Kim Wilson, Jimmie Vaughn et al.
.
The 80’s weren’t all bad lucky for me I spent the 80’s in and around Beantown an WFNX was a great radio station. Del Fuegos, Barrance Whitfield & the Savages. Early Chili Peppers & U2.
.
My fave has to be Chrissie Hynde & The Pretenders “Pretenders” No chick has kicked ass then or now like she did. How can your refute the lyrics “I was a good time, yeah, I got pretty good at changing tires upstairs bro I shot my mouth off and you showed me what that hole was for” Pretty ballsy for a chick.

2:10 pm January, 6 Et Tu Douche? said...

@JD
Thanks for the vid, pretty cool stuff

8:52 pm January, 6 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Tuff Enuff was a TERRIBLE song. Listen to it, but while doing it, count how many times they say Tuff Enuff. You can play the same game with Wrap It Up and you’ll see that the Fabulous Thunderbirds didn’t write songs, but rather song titles they just repeated ad nauseum.

9:32 pm January, 6 Miss Anonymous said...

Spouting off on RUSH during the original Samurai Scrote thread got this site into bloggery of historic proportions. I should know.
Glory be to RUSH.

10:10 pm January, 6 Motorcycle Parts said...

This and the tendency for coke producers to raise the treble “11” created all these ghostly sound, explode, cause tinnitus.

7:09 am January, 7 mr.reeve said...

More like Phil Colons in my humble opinion.

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