Thursday, January 6, 2011

If Kid Rock’s Toejam Grew Consciousness, Assumed Human Form and Went to Vegas on the Next Flight to Hit on French Hotties


It would look like this.

# posted by douchebag1
4:29 pm January, 6 Captain Garanichode said...

uh ohh, looks like Toejam is moving in for the new signature douchbag “Tune in Tokyo” nip-grip… (or he’s playing itsy-bitsy-spider?)

4:29 pm January, 6 Douche Ex Machina said...

That plastic boob looks like it’s about to burst out of its overexposed packaging.

4:29 pm January, 6 Captain Garanichode said...

I think she is a mannequin…

4:31 pm January, 6 Captain Garanichode said...

Casting call for “Mother Mary’s Nipple Man and the Real Girl”

4:31 pm January, 6 Southern Scrotic said...

You would think an herbalist would be all natural.

4:41 pm January, 6 anonymouse said...

Her fakies make his tatt sad, yet she can’t stop staring. Jesus recoils in horror from the bleethiness.

4:46 pm January, 6 Nancy Dreuche said...

If having the Virgin Mary tattoed around your nipple isn’t sacriligious, I don’t know what is.

She is very enhanced.

4:52 pm January, 6 Vin Douchal said...

Glass? At a pool cabana? I’m shocked. Not even the strains of every STD known to man coursing though his blood upsets me more than a glass at a pool. Criminals! Heathens!

4:52 pm January, 6 soy bomb said...

deet-de-deet-de-deet-de-deet-de-deet
.
.
This just in, Bill O’Reilly is an idiot.

4:52 pm January, 6 creature said...

he misspelled liver

4:58 pm January, 6 massengill said...

I’ll take glass at a pool over Corona in a can. Shit I don’t want Corona within 1500 feet of me at all times.

4:58 pm January, 6 skrag2112 said...

He has ‘Our Lady Of Maternal Dissapointment’ tatooed on his tit. Can we call the Vatican for a laser guided excommunication on this heretic?

4:58 pm January, 6 massengill said...

They must be in Tiajuana celebrating that boob job…

5:00 pm January, 6 Nancy Dreuche said...

@soy bomb, that’s a news flash? I hate that jackass. Everyone knows the moon causes the tides because it is made of solid cheddar. Case closed.

5:15 pm January, 6 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ Skrag2112 4:58
I am SO doing a painting of “Our Lady Of Maternal Disappointment” for my upcoming ‘Saints and Icons’ series. I will give you credit in the exhibit brochure.
.
There is nothing hot about that partially inflated Slim Jim in lipstick.
.
I wonder when was the last time he went to church. No, really.

5:43 pm January, 6 Deltus said...

Interesting, when the terrible boob jobs look like they’re about to explode from the pressure they’re being put under. I’d say in that photo they’re at least 50psi.

5:59 pm January, 6 Wedgie said...

It’s a clear plastic wine glass. No less plastic than her boobies, but probably more breakable.

6:04 pm January, 6 creature said...

if my toe had jam like this, I’d be hobblin’ around with only 4 on one foot

7:31 pm January, 6 Mr. White said...

Mother Mary says, “Why the fucck is there a nipple on my collar bone? WHY??”

7:32 pm January, 6 Mr. White said...

I have tupperware more erotic than this girl. Why? The tupperware is a bit more supple than her foobs.

8:37 pm January, 6 Troy Tempest said...

She has all the charm of a mangy grackle soaked in bathtub sealant, and is about as natural.

Behind her beady scheming eyes lies a feeble brain that is practically burning its bearing out just trying to keep her breathing.

And tattoo schlub?

“And in my hour of darkness
There is still a light that shits on me
Speaking words of scrote wank
Let it pee.
Let it pee
Let it pee
Let it peeee
Let it pee
Speaking words of Scrotewank
Let it pee.
And when I’m drunk and stupid
Mother Mary comes to me
With her collar bone nipple
Let it pee….

9:13 pm January, 6 dbBen said...

@Anonymouse: hahaha
.
It is my firm belief that this man has, currently is, or soon will be engaged in the business of selling 4 wheelers.

9:21 pm January, 6 Hardouche Wankstain said...

Ugghh. She has the look of the hot stripper you’re in love with when you’re drunk in smoky, dark club. She has the look of pressure plate bomb in the morning as you decide whether to go coyote on your arm or try and slide it out and replace it with a rolled up piece of blanket Indiana Jones style.

He has the look of a carnie.

9:47 pm January, 6 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

HolyMaryMotherofTatt,Nips,TucksandBolt-Ons…twin female portraits on moobs is a jealous attempt to steal the thunder of cleavite bolt-ons. Aside from that, these two tatts have something of the flavor of India about them.
Either way, it’s not nice to fool Mother Nature, boys and girls.

10:03 pm January, 6 Motorcycle Parts said...

Not even all strains of STD known to man running though his blood bothers me more than one glass in a pool.

10:55 pm January, 6 Jacques Doucheteau said...

More like Kid Rock got anally raped by Sebastian Bach, and this is his ball cap wearing hemorrhagic diarrhea.
.
Don’t fuck with the Ducks!

4:51 am January, 7 Collaz B. Popped said...

@Medusa – the Frank Mercury Chronicles idea is hysterical.

Might be a little too much cockk for most of us though.

5:13 am January, 7 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I can’t believe more of you goyim don’t recognize that the tattoo is of Saint Nipple Neck. Shonda. Anyway, her fake rake doesn’t bother me nearly as much as Kid Schlock’s disproportionately small forearm and hand.

6:10 am January, 7 FoghornLeghorn said...

I once had a nasty insect bite on my chest that swelled up and drained pus for weeks. Mrs. Leghorn wouldn’t look at me with my shirt off. The funny thing is, it looked exactly like the mark on Tattoo-Mary’s chest.

7:07 am January, 7 Wheezer said...

Why would anyone get a tattoo of someone fresh off a tracheotomy?

8:49 am January, 7 ehcuodouche said...

That must be St. Eunice of the Unimammary on his chest.

8:49 am January, 7 DarkSock said...

The sentient tattoo of mono-nippled Stephenie Meyer gazes longingly towards the burnt umber teats of the $2k call girl, her 2D sapphic thirst still unquenched…

9:36 am January, 7 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

The Saint -of-Continued-Disappointment gazes over the landscape before her and prepares to sigh yet again. Where there should be abs, there are none. Where there should be a weenus, there is none. Where there should be glorious natural boobage, only saline and plastic are present. Yes, yes here work here is done.

10:15 am January, 7 Douchelips said...

That tatt is disgusting! Who’s that, the Virgin Mary looking down at his non-existent wang? Wretched. Despicable.
.
He can ride outta here on the Bleeth he came in on….

5:00 pm January, 7 TrikkyMakk said...

Please tell me she isn’t fucking him

11:24 pm January, 7 Motorcycle Parts said...

It has all the charm of mangy chough soaked in the seal bath, and just as natural.

4:47 am January, 11 Car Parts said...

Although the positions of every STD known to man for the game, even though his blood upsets me more than a pool of glass.

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