Thursday, January 6, 2011

It’s Shark Week on HCwDB!

Mrs. Kintner: I just found out, that a girl got hit on here last week, and you knew it! You knew there was a douche out there! You knew it was dangerous! But you let people go partying anyway? You knew all those things! But still my girl is hit on by a douche now. And there’s nothing you can do about it. My girl is hit on by a douche. I wanted you to know that.

# posted by douchebag1
9:21 am January, 6 Wheezer said...

Bleeth Bitches with Douchebags…..
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Hey, the late 70’s called to say, “You can keep the shorts. We’re still scarred by that look. Stay classy.”

9:23 am January, 6 Wheezer said...

I see she’s sampling Mr. White’s Hematuric Hangover cure.
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He has decided to “Stay Unemployable.”

9:31 am January, 6 DoucheyWallnuts said...

As classy as the Stay Classy tattoo is, the testosterone patch at the waist line is the topper. Nothing like a little boner medicine to help keep up with the younger bleeths.

9:32 am January, 6 Wedgie said...

Please blur out the name of our fine product from this abomination. We do not wish to be associated with this photograph in any way. As a corporation, we advocate the responsible consumption of alcoholic beverages.

Thank You,
Philippe Guettat
Chairman & CEO
Absolut Vodka

9:32 am January, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Who would have thought that Sombrero Someguyo had a brother who moved to the city on the coast and married a 25 dollar teenage hooker and got a job at Jiffy Lube? Dicy and I did, that’s who.

9:35 am January, 6 Vin Douchal said...

Stay Classy with an underage lassie

9:35 am January, 6 Nancy Dreuche said...

The Zyzz shorts come in blue! A whale tattoo would have been more appropriate for Tubby here. And his neck tattoos make him look like he’s forever recovering from a wicked case of whiplash.

She is Skankira Mistress of the Dork.

9:42 am January, 6 tall guy said...

Well, at least his aren’t the typical trust fund tatts of the average 20-something douche. Perhaps he doesn’t need to enter the corporate world. Perhaps he’s already done his time working for the man and now has gone for an ironic tattoo’d-kinda thang look. Having mentioned all that, i still think he looks like a knobwrench. He needs to lay off the ham as well.

9:43 am January, 6 Vin Douchal said...

Can’t decide if this guy is more boring or disgusting. That body type is “non-descript”
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He reminds me of my grandfather sitting in his boxer shorts with black garter socks and wingtips , his clothes folded neatly in a pile next to him, feet swinging out over the Narragansett Pier as he drops a fishing line the bay hoping a flounder hungry for a piece of cruller will swim by…. HI GRAMPA! Got any bites !??!

9:53 am January, 6 DarkSock said...

Say what you will, but having her vagina tattooed onto his stomach shows commitment.

9:54 am January, 6 DarkSock said...

Gurn learned a hard lesson about wearing low-cut wife beaters to a paintball match.

9:57 am January, 6 Captain Garanichode said...

Paul Shaffer and Katy Perry walk into a bar……..

10:04 am January, 6 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ Nancy D–“Skankira Mistress of the Dork.”
BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!! Awww, I was trying to think of something along those lines and you handed me my ass. Well done, you! WTF is with all these faux-goth chicks anyway? I can’t wait for this trend to die a sorry death. I can no longer distinguish the cool metal chicks, art weirdos and perverts from the trend-hopping, brainless queef cannons who think Disturbed are really edgy and underground. Blargh. And then these twits think we have something in common because we’re both tattooed. The conversations go like this:
She: So, like, do you like Kat Von D?
Me: Choke on a squirrel cock and die.
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Stay Classy? Oh, I will. Just let me stop eating my own boogers in a minute and I’ll get right on that.

10:06 am January, 6 Medusa Oblongata said...

I’ve seen this dude before.

10:16 am January, 6 Troy Tempest said...

I like turtles.

10:22 am January, 6 Troy Tempest said...

His name is putzenheimer. gerald b. putzenheimer.

His world is a never ending cavalcade of self pity and booze, all fueled by the same trust fund that’s paying for his tattoo.

He looks like a melon trying out for a part in Tron. Weekly bound.

She is a stage 4 bleeth. Medusa’s observation of “queef cannon” is apropos. Her life, as a hostess at the Boom Boom Room, is filled with douchewankery like him, so for her, this is just a natural run of the mill afternoon. I’ve met lumps of charcoal that were more self reflective than this bint.

10:29 am January, 6 Andy Capp said...

To quote Warren Zevon, she ain’t that pretty at all….
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10:44 am January, 6 Classical Music Lover said...

I was listening to Pachelbel’s Canon in Queef as I was reading the comments here. Is that ironic or just a coincidence?

10:54 am January, 6 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Troy, I like Turtles is Turtle Boy’s schtick. Prepare to hear from his lawyers.

@Medusa, Uugh. Kat Von Dumb. I can see where you would hear that a lot being in the tattoo biz. I like your response though.

11:02 am January, 6 Joe Smith said...

Nothing says “classy” like a nicotine patch on the groin.

11:07 am January, 6 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Somehow I think the irony of having “stay classy” tattooed on his chest ensures he will never in fact be classy is lost on this guy.
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I’d totally army her tiger though.

11:16 am January, 6 Stephanie said...

It’s like a whiplash neck brace of shitty tattoos…you will regret this look,creepo.

11:17 am January, 6 FoghornLeghorn said...

What was this guy thinking when he went into the tattoo parlor? “After looking through the catalog, I can’t decide. Just give me one of each.”
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Skankira is not aging well. I hate to see what she looks like when she turns 18.

11:18 am January, 6 Baron Von Goolo said...

Absolut Daddy Issues

11:18 am January, 6 Baron Von Goolo said...

Absolut Poor Judgment

11:19 am January, 6 Baron Von Goolo said...

Absolut Viagra Patch

11:20 am January, 6 DarkSock said...

Absolut Technicolor Uncle Fester

11:20 am January, 6 Baron Von Goolo said...

Absolut MonoBoob

11:20 am January, 6 DarkSock said...

Absolut Ed Hardy Skin Graft

11:22 am January, 6 DarkSock said...

Absolut Terrapin

11:23 am January, 6 DarkSock said...

Absolut Fellatrix

11:24 am January, 6 Baron Von Goolo said...

We’ve used “The Amazing Technicolor DreamScrote” on another thread, didn’t we? Oh wait – all the comments prior to the “upgrade” were lost so we might never fucking know! FUCKFUCKFUUUUUCKKK!!!! I am never going to get over that!!! NEVER!! DO YOU HEAR ME????

11:25 am January, 6 Baron Von Douchemeister said...

It must suck to wear a turtle neck of crappy tattoos and never be able to take it off.

Btw, nothing is totally unattractive like a girl with a crappy sleevee and tattooed knuckles…b/c you know whether you like it or not, you will always play “bitch” in that relationship..

11:25 am January, 6 DarkSock said...

Absolut Woody Harrelson

11:27 am January, 6 Baron Von Goolo said...

@ Darksock 11:20
That was quite amusing.

11:27 am January, 6 Andy Capp said...

The tats seriously violated The Brian Setzer Commandment;
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Thou shalt have a tat where a Judge can see one.
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Turd-le Boy can’t buy a collar tall enough to cover that attrocious technocolour smear…

11:33 am January, 6 Redouche-Reooze-Repsycho said...

Say what you want about this guy, but his fashion sense is impeccable! Note how he coordinates the color of his shorts, shades and tattooed skull-wings.

12:01 pm January, 6 Deltus said...

It is me, or does Skankira have one boob in the middle of her chest?
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Absolut Total Recall.

12:06 pm January, 6 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I’m kind of getting this feel from him. That is if you replace the bad neck tatts with some Disney technicolor vomit that has hardened in a cylindrical shape and had a ping pong ball placed on top of it.

1:00 pm January, 6 creature said...

his head is a golf ball on an airbrushed tee…. where is a brick sized mashie niblick when you need it?

1:03 pm January, 6 creature said...

this cat looks like a skin canvas for Bert in “Mary Poppins”…bleeth has a tatt on her cooter that reads, “Merry Droppin”

1:13 pm January, 6 Vin Douchal said...

Maybe this guy is what the 4chan elder child cocks meant by “jelly neckbeards”

2:16 pm January, 6 Ohio FJ said...

You can’t polish a turd

2:41 pm January, 6 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

That’s no nicotine patch on his groin: It’s an ileostomy flange. He’s bowel-less but not shitless, and wears the tatts as compensation.

2:44 pm January, 6 Menschenjaeger said...

not joking – is there some ‘shop happening here? something about his gut, and esp. those shorts don’t look right ta me…

4:46 pm January, 6 massengill said...

^
Absolut Lack of Navel

4:48 pm January, 6 massengill said...

I think it says “Drug Free” around his nick. Anybody confirm?

4:48 pm January, 6 massengill said...

IF that’s a scripty “X” between “Drug” and “Free” than I’m sure that’s what it says.

5:01 pm January, 6 soy bomb said...

Sorry massengill, not gonna look any closer at this abomination to confirm. The “Drug Free” tat makes sense however, for it’s because of a world such as this that allows people like him to exist in it causes me to do the “heroic” amount of drugs that I do.

7:36 pm January, 6 ehcuodouche said...

Absolut Beached Manatee

8:27 pm January, 6 Troy Tempest said...

Absolut Groin Paste

8:27 pm January, 6 Troy Tempest said...

Absolute Chum Gargler

8:27 pm January, 6 Troy Tempest said...

Absolut Waste of Oxygen

9:19 pm January, 6 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

I reiterate: Absolut Ileostomy Flange Peeking above Top of Shorts

9:19 pm January, 6 Medusa Oblongata said...

I like his shark tattoo. This guy would make a good chum.
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See what I did there?

10:16 pm January, 6 Motorcycle Parts said...

This collection has 20 categories of products offered in several flavors and fragrances. The products are massage oils

4:16 am January, 7 Menschenjaeger said...

Medusa…only if you wanted to cause a massive fish kill.

6:32 am January, 7 Greek-God-like bodies and masculine features said...

Anyone that gross should not wear shorts like that. I think he has a band aid where his removed genetal warts were.
Some of the worst tattoos I have ever seen on a male or female. The shark looks like a 7th grade art students work.

9:57 am January, 7 FlipFriddle said...

So this guy’s alive and Jim Henson is dead. Their CAN’T be a god.

10:03 am January, 7 FlipFriddle said...

Nor can I spell… their indeed. I meant THERE; call me embarrassed.

2:01 pm January, 7 Former AFC said...

WTF is his belly button and what is that rash that is supposed to look like the sharks lip, that dude is all douche all the time!

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