Wednesday, January 12, 2011

King Creeper

This pic of potential sapphic love deserves a reminder of one of the key non-negotiable rules of douchebaggery.

If you interrupt or otherwise pose, in any way shape or form, behind two ladies about to explore the permeable boundaries of gender and sexuality, you are autodouche.

No exceptions.

None.

Not even you, Rajman.

# posted by douchebag1
9:33 am January, 12 Wedgie said...

Damn, another delightful sapphic moment ruined for eternity.

9:36 am January, 12 DoucheyWallnuts said...

“Welcome to another edition of ‘When Homely Chicks Make Out, Thus Making Them Hot Chicks,’ with your host, Waldouche.”

9:37 am January, 12 Frank Mercurio said...

If you think that’s a delightful sapphic moment, you shoulda seen it last night when Medusa buried me up to my little steel balls in the face of some coed she dragged off campus.

9:59 am January, 12 Taint Nuthin But A G-Thang said...

I don’t know if a person can ever get “too old” to see late teens/early 20 something girls kiss. It warms my heart and soothes my loins.

10:05 am January, 12 Et Tu Douche? said...

Young Sapphic exploration seems like a wonderful, awkward, confusing experience. I say keep on practicing girls until you get it right. With the Rajmans of the world in the picture literally & figuratively can you blame them?

10:06 am January, 12 Paki Kebab Shack said...

Their Harleys are parked outside Raji won’t be able to ride.

10:23 am January, 12 Vin Douchal said...

Can I propose a new rule?
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All photos must now have protruding lady nipples

10:36 am January, 12 Nancy Dreuche said...

Fake lesbianism for attention at its finest. Rajman how much did you pay for your seats? Cuz you got robbed son!

@Frank, you’re being a real dildo. No wonder you’re Medusa’s bitch. What with your tiny balls. Its time to get some big brass ones Frankie and hit the road on your own. Write a book, “The Dildo Diaries”. Get Denis Leary to read passages from it. Lord knows that guy can’t come up with his own material. You’ve got star potential Mr. Mercurio, and its almost as big as your chocolate starfish potential.

10:53 am January, 12 Medusa Oblongata said...

^ HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Well, then. I second the motion. Cheap jagoff doesn’t even chip in for lube, wtf.

11:16 am January, 12 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Medusa, I can check off Give Advice to a Dildo Online, off the list now. Oh Internets, what can’t I do here? I could totally tell Frank was a cheap bastard too.

11:18 am January, 12 Mr. White said...

One minor point, DB1: I don’t know if I really want ladies to explore “the permeable boundaries of gender.” Sapphic experimentation is a wonderful thing. Sprouting a second set of genitalia covered with spines and becoming the first member of a new, horrifying third gender may or may not be a wonderful thing.
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I mean, I don’t want to say definitely bad. Medusa’s a whiz with improv, after all.

12:07 pm January, 12 Wheezer said...

If only the five bikini hotts in the pool pic below would form a sapphic love pentangle…..
.
.
.
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‘Sock, there’s another potential band name. I want 10% of the gross receipts.

12:22 pm January, 12 Nancy Dreuche said...

Oh sorry guys 🙁 One of those dildoes was just the left over quarter section of a 6 foot Italian hero that I ate for breakfast. I was wondering where that went.

At least it makes a good second lunch. YAY!!!!

12:51 pm January, 12 Nancy Dreuche said...

^Damn me. I’ve never been that excited about second lunch before.

1:12 pm January, 12 Nancy Dreuche said...

@me 12:58p, We’re just really reaching for the stars today aren’t we? I like being goal oriented. And its great that I can track my progress online, with my new bestie, troll me. There’s nothing me can’t do now! That’s why there’s a me in team! See troll me, one exclamation point will suffice for fake sarcastic enthusiasm. Three at the most. ALL CAPS only for really important emphasis. Keep up the good work troll me. One day I won’t know if I wrote it or if me wrote it.

1:23 pm January, 12 Collaz B. Popped said...

Frank Mercurio looks like he could also be used as a “ball-peen” hammer or carpenter nail remover if you flipped him upsidedown….what with those marbles and all.

Start chippin’ in for lube Frank – if Medusa is hammering innocent pear on campus, its the least you can do – you tiny balled, cheap fuck.

1:50 pm January, 12 Deltus said...

@DoucheyWallnuts: good observation, with the lady kissing increasing the hottitude of the hotts involved. It really can take Tier 3 hotts, and make them Tier 2 or even Tier 1 (depending on the amount of tongue and groping included).
.
Same goes for the right kind of hat. A cowboy hat on a Tier 2 in a bikini can make her seem a Tier 1, as long as it’s not a caricature of cowboy hat wearing.

4:04 pm January, 12 Medusa Oblongata said...

What was that about 6-foot Italian hero?
.
Oh, a SANDWICH?
.
Never mind.

5:04 pm January, 12 Nancy Dreuche said...

@me 1:53p I am disappointed that I got your 16 Candles reference. I’m sappier than I thought. Again with the exclamation points though. Its a dead giveaway troll me.

5:12 pm January, 12 mr.reeve said...

Get an Avatar ND. I am confused with the comment thread. The chciks are nottas and all the talk of dildos has made my ass hurt.

5:27 pm January, 12 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Mr. Reeve, I refuse to get an avatar on principle. The principle of laziness. Yes it makes me open to identity theft but I welcome the challenge. Its not easy being me, and anyone who trys and gets it right deserves kudos. Sorry your ass had to suffer the consequences.
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Plus how many people can say they have their own personal troll, dedicated, retarded, and did I mention dedicated? And cmon I’ve been here long enough, can’t you tell the difference. Have I ever once LOL’d? And since when do I use emoticons? Plus that troll has far superior spelling, its like they use spellcheck. Spellcheck! So yeah, again sorry about the excessive dildo talk. -The real ND

9:18 pm January, 12 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Troll-la-la, irony is so tasty, especially when the King Creeper is trolling the Sapphic Twins with his bug-eyes up close and personal.

9:27 pm January, 12 DarkSock said...

As Sam and Frodo converse, a feral Frodo leers from behind in the New Stage Theater’s version of Lord of the Rings, Middleton Idaho Chapter.

10:07 pm January, 12 Frank Mercurio said...

@ Collaz B. Popped 1:23
You’re just jealous because I am strapped to her vagina night after night. Hatter!

2:42 am January, 13 Motorcycle Parts said...

Get Denis Leary reading passages. God knows that the guy can not come with its own equipment. You have star potential Mr. Mercurio, and almost as big as your chocolate starfish potential.

8:45 am January, 13 Redouche-Reooze-Repsycho said...

I can tell the Nancies apart. The troll is much raunchier and more lascivious. Clearly, some reg got frustrated that original Nancy wouldn’t slut it up more with her comments, and decided to provoke her in a transparent attempt to make her talk dirtier. It wasn’t me, though– I’ve never been very good at getting women to do what I want.
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But I kinda wish I had thought of doing it.

9:13 am January, 13 Nancy Dreuche said...

@RRR, Real Nancy here (Does it really matter though?) I’m glad you can tell the difference. My troll wants me to talk dirty, reminisce about my unrequited love and share recipes. Oprah? Are you my troll?

Since you’ve always been pining for a troll, what do think yours would try and make you do?

11:29 am January, 13 Nancy Dreuche said...

Real Nancy here. now that I think about it RRR doesn’t have a troll because he actually says funny things and isn’t a douche.

11:41 am January, 13 Nancy Dreuche said...

^True that troll me. Finally we’re on the same page. RRR is one of my favorite regulars too. But from that statement you have called me a douche because I have you, troll me. And I accept that assessment. I can be a bit of a douchebag at times. Never a bleeth though. Because for the love of me I just can’t seem to slut it up.

12:15 pm January, 13 Redouche-Reooze-Repsycho said...

I’m not sure a troll would have to work very hard to humiliate me. There’s not much further I can sink, frankly. Maybe that’s why I am un-trolled– I suck enough without having to defend against someone telling me I do.
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But that would imply that trolls feel sympathy. And the laws of the internet say otherwise.

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