Tuesday, January 4, 2011

No Shirty For Oldbag

“Out in them foothills, that’s where we find what a makeup a fellers got. And nature will tell us if that be a man, or a douche with the stupid tatts hittin on a bar wench.” — Sheriff Wayne Driscoll, Briscoe County, 1896.

# posted by douchebag1
7:13 am January, 4 mr.reeve said...

That Bam really knows how to pull the bleethe blondes and douche it up cowboy style all at the same time.

7:15 am January, 4 Deltus said...

Holdin’ onto that that URC and the bar wenches upper butt cheek with equally dismissive attitude, I reckon. I must say, them’s some of the dumbest tatts I ever seed on a douchenozzle afore. What’s that one on his front right hip supposed to be, an atom?

7:26 am January, 4 Mr. White said...

Sorry, Old Bag–you won’t become Doctor Manhattan no matter how many atom symbols you get tatted on yourself. And don’t even think about rubbing the pool chalk all over yourself. I don’t need STDs in the crook of my thumb.
.
@medusa
I’m a little concerned about the rope burn on blondie’s calf. I think we’re going to have to fire the playpen intern. Sloppy work.

7:30 am January, 4 Eliza Douchecoo said...

Looks like we’re about an inch away from seeing his 6-shooter….pull your pants up you tool.

7:32 am January, 4 Collaz B. Popped said...

Good God – again the shirtless “Look at me, my zero – pack abs, and my bad ink and my GSR and my mandanna and Im just a fucking douchebagasaurus” vibe.

He’s kind of dildonic.

Blondie is a hottie, cant see enough of her though. Possibly high quality pear, you can just see the formation showing.

Looks like another well dressed, red cup slinging, DB is fwapping to her picture in the background.

7:40 am January, 4 I R A Darth Aggie said...

I intend to post your doucheous pic on HCwDBs!
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That’s bold talk for a one-eyed fat man.
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Fill yer hands!
.
Filled with URC and bleethy ass. Now what?
.
*snap* Thanks…

7:41 am January, 4 chaserofthehott said...

She’s got a trashy Sandra Bullock look going for her.

7:55 am January, 4 smackdouche said...

I am trying really hard to stare at the Hott, but his mind controlling swirl won’t let me.

Blonde Sandra Bullock= good call.

7:55 am January, 4 Wedgie said...

PTP pornstar…..unless oldbag likes to leave photos of his date around the bar.

8:13 am January, 4 mr.reeve said...

I don’t need a watch and I don’t want to buy phentermine on line! Too many fucking spams on here lately.
Nice Rebel flag in the backyard. YYYYYYEEEEEEEHHHHHHAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!

8:14 am January, 4 Ohio FJ said...

This one could win a weekly

8:14 am January, 4 Wheezer said...

“Never”? I reckon this here cowpoke found a way to quit them thar snails.

8:33 am January, 4 Dex said...

Is that a picture of her sitting on the table, next to Guy With Gaping Sleeveless Shirt?

8:37 am January, 4 Guns-N-Douches said...

Douchetatts plus mandanna/cowboyhat… with extra long basketball shorts? This guy can’t get his look straight… he’s just confused. Perhaps the tranny hooker that he’s all cuddled up to will solve that problem. After 15 ecstacy-fueled minutes with the blonde heeshee, Billy-Ray Doucheus will be curled up in a ball on that cum stained bed, muttering “one cock doesn’t mean I’m gay” over and over again.
Wow, I’m bitter this morning.

8:39 am January, 4 FredN. said...

Dex beat me to it. That is a pic of her in the background, looks like she’s wearing the same dress.

And did she just take a pic of Tex on her phone??

8:43 am January, 4 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

In Australia that shoulder tattoo would be swirling counter clockwise.

8:48 am January, 4 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

My niece got a bunch of wrist bands just like Old Bag there. When she take hers off they twist into all sorts of fun shapes like stars, puppies, musical notes, and hearts. When he takes his off they all look like beer cans and distended rectums.

9:01 am January, 4 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

The fellas in the back are watching a good old fashioned southern cock fight.
.
Oldbag’s bout is up next.

9:05 am January, 4 Captain Garanichode said...

“Walk into a shop and get a random tattoo” guy is forgettable (see I’ve already dismissed him), but bleeth is somewhat hott, I’d like to get a gander at her rump or maam’s to build a second opinion.

9:10 am January, 4 Andy Capp said...

I call bleeth. There’s a potentially vile tattoo peeking out of her sleeve.
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As for Billy-Ray Doucheus (thanx G&D), he has the vacant stare of a toddler, one freshly decanted from the Beta Jug in Huxley’s Brave New World.
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The more I see of his ilk, the more I pine for The Future of Man.
.

9:12 am January, 4 Andy Capp said...

Correction: Not pine….outright despair…
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Head hanging, potentially suicidal, despair.
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Same way I feel after a good Stackhouse podcast.
.

9:30 am January, 4 boatbutter said...

That’s Brooke Banner. She’s a pornstar.

9:37 am January, 4 Vin Douchal said...

Bruce Campbell is the most underrated performer in Hollywood. However, in Bollywood, he’s diety

9:54 am January, 4 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Boatbutter, not sure who Brooke Banner is, but I’ll take your word on her resume. But how these white trash southernbags could possibly lure a pornstar into their grimy apartment is beyond me.

10:02 am January, 4 Vin Douchal said...
10:04 am January, 4 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I can just hear this fuckstick’s rambling ass right now:
“Now I got this here swirly one on my shoulder in case I’m attacked. See now, what I do is run around REAL fast-like so they think they’re seein’ some kind of optical illusion or sumthin’. It plays with their minds, you know. Then the other ones, like this here one on my hip, makes think that I got superpowers like readin’ and writin’. When I’m a runnin’ ’round I throw my hands up in the air and yell ‘Bo Duke for president’ and stuff like that to confuse ’em And then when they start thinkin’ ’bout what I just said I run to my 4×4 and haul ass.”
.
The South has coined a wonderful expression for his type:
“Ricky’s never been the same since he fell off the roof tryin’ to watch our neighbors amakin’ whoopee but he’s still a nice kid God bless him.” The “God bless him” part is a nice way of saying that he’s criminally stupid.

10:20 am January, 4 Vin Douchal said...

Something else, do you think he’s done or does he see more real estate that needs developing on that doughy frame?
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There’s a bunch of neat symbols above the numbers on the keyboard. Maybe he can work in a “&” and a few “***’s” on the other arm

10:47 am January, 4 Douchble Helix said...

Yep, I’ll confirm Brooke Banner. I just checked Keez Movies’ alpha listings, she’s got this huge tattoo on her left arm.

10:47 am January, 4 Deltus said...

@Vin: not even The Campbell’s best work for Old Spice. That would be the “If you have it, you don’t need it” commercial (full 1-minute version). Hilarious.

11:01 am January, 4 Wedgie said...

Brooke Banner…..correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t she threaten to sue the site a year or two ago? In a rant so wrought with misspellings that we had to use a professional to decipher it?

11:28 am January, 4 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

FREEBIRD!

11:32 am January, 4 Nancy Dreuche said...

Nice bracelets cowpoke. And I’m glad I’m not the only one who keeps 8 x 10 glossies of themselves strewn about the apartment. I’m attractive dammit and I need to be reminded of it. 20 mirrors are not enough!

12:31 pm January, 4 DarkSock said...

There was a disturbing lack of decorum at the wake for Candi’s twin sister.

12:33 pm January, 4 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

That Tim McGraw sure can pull some Kareoke Taylor Swiftbag. And by Taylor Swift I mean Def Leppard. And by Def Leppard I mean the first time I saw Taylor Swift and I still have a boner. And by boner I mean I’m still drunk.

12:51 pm January, 4 Troy Tempest said...

Wow – it’s a house FILLED with douchebags.

And we’re dropping pakistanis by the dozen with drones when we could be cleaning out the rot back home?

Now there’s a sense of priorities for ya.

12:59 pm January, 4 Blinded by the Shite said...

I always liked to hear about the old-bags. Never missed a chance to do so. You can’t help but stare at the old-bags. Can’t help but wonder how they operate: crap goatee, shirtless with a cowboy hat and a shorn groin. There was this boy I sent to the electric chair in Tallahassee here a while back. My ‘tag and my testimony. He was pictured in URC and a blonde porn star. Papers said it was a crime of passion but he told me there wasn’t any passion to it, just douchiness. Told me that he’d been planning to mack on some chick for about as long as he could remember. Said that if they turned him out he’d do it again. Said he knew he was going to be featured on HCwDBs. Be there in about fifteen minutes. I don’t know what to make of that. I surely don’t.

6:15 pm January, 4 Guid is Good said...

Is this some ridiculous, clown 100% polyester shorts party?

8:22 pm January, 4 Hardouche Wankstain said...

Mississippi house party = rebel flag, URC, basketball shorts, I’m gonna’s and herpes.

10:23 pm January, 4 Stephanie said...

I love Bruce Campbell,nice guy too!
Poly Shorts party Walmart rednecks,where are the home made kitchen sink drugs hidden?

10:41 pm January, 4 Medusa Oblongata said...

Rebel flag in the background of a party attended by wiggerbags. I smell a crisis of modernity
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She is 1000% gross. He is definitely in his league. I hate everything about this pic.
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Bruce Campbell is on my List Of Celebrities I Would Blow In A Gas Station Bathroom(tm).
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@ Mr. White–huh? Wuh? Why, I oughta!!!!! *whipcrack*

11:09 pm January, 4 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Oldbag was proud of his prowess as a yard-spinner who could spiral his way around any crow that came near the garden;and quickly wasted no time courting the female crows, not to mention displaying his amazingly long donkey dick hangin’ free in his slinky shorts.

5:41 am January, 5 Steve L. said...

Brooke Banner is here AGAIN?! great catch there boatbutter.
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hey Brooke, are we still being delt with by your legal team?
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furthermore, is shirtless oldbag a member of your legal team?






sorry. hey Brooke, you have… um… legs.

5:42 am January, 5 Steve L. said...

@ Wedgie 11:01 AM,
i remember that day like it was yesterday.

5:54 am January, 5 iDouche said...

If you zoom in on that picture on the table its exactly the same as the picture we’re looking at now, and on that table etc etc, like that cool guiness ad from way back, except crammed with goons and scrotes.

7:55 am January, 5 Medusa Oblongata said...

All hail hypnobag!!!

2:58 am January, 6 Canada Pharmacy said...

Blondie is a hottie, can not see enough of his own. Maybe bulb high quality, you can just see the sights of the training.

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