Friday, January 14, 2011

Peter Orangeshorts

So what have we learned from this pic?

Ed Hardy makes orange velcro shorts.

And Tammy really, really, and with frequent sessions to talk about it in therapy, has daddy issues.

# posted by douchebag1
9:44 am January, 14 Deltus said...

That, or Tammy looks remarkably young for her age. He’s older, but how much older is up for debate. Being able to see both their eyes would greatly help with the judgement process. Damn you, ridiculously large sunglasses!!

9:50 am January, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Is it just my failing vision or is that Wanda Sykes one hot piece of ass.

9:51 am January, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Is it my failing sense of smell or does Orangey shorts smell by broadband.

9:52 am January, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Is it my failing nerves or is there really a bear in my office? Son.

9:54 am January, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

That dude has a vericose penis.

9:57 am January, 14 jonezy said...

by Daddy issues, you mean allowance money, right?

10:09 am January, 14 tall guy said...

What’s that on his wrist? Is that a Powerband version 2:1? Recently over here, an independent authority of the Australia government known as the ACCC (Australian Competition and Consumer Commission – an organisation responsible for ensuring compliance with our Trade Practices Act 1974) declared plastic bracelets worn by high profile sports stars that claim to improve athletic performance were a sham and suggested the bracelets were ‘no more beneficial than a rubber band. A rubber bands with plastic holograms that did little else than empty purchasers’ wallets’.

10:18 am January, 14 DoucheyWallnuts said...

This picture is de facto proof that steroids can make an ugly body uglier and can’t make you taller.

10:19 am January, 14 DoucheyWallnuts said...

This picture is de facto proof that abortions should be easily available and abundant.

10:20 am January, 14 massengill said...

OMG SHE’S SO FAT! GROSS!

10:20 am January, 14 DoucheyWallnuts said...

This picture is de facto proof that Ed Hardy attracts an element of society that needs to be exterminated.

10:23 am January, 14 RUSH said...

Sweet boobs.

10:30 am January, 14 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

This ass has a tatt of Jesus bling? I guess all the money went to the ‘roids. He better be careful, because it looks like the worms are heading south. And when they find nuthin’ they’re gonna be pisssssssed!

10:39 am January, 14 Captain Scrote Sparrow said...

I’m gaining interest in the blue-wrapped-pear just out of frame…

10:39 am January, 14 Wedgie said...

Nice to see he is a graduate of the finger pistol safety course.

10:40 am January, 14 Wedgie said...

Nice to see they still make sunglasses with training wheels.

10:41 am January, 14 Southern Scrotic said...

Neanderthals were supposedly shorter than Homo Erectus. I think we now have photographic proof.

10:41 am January, 14 Wedgie said...

Nice to see that Spearmint Rhino still hosts those valuable Father/Daughter events.

10:46 am January, 14 Redouche-Reooze-Repsycho said...

That vein in his forehead looks like it could go catastrophic aneurysm at any moment.
.
.
One can hope, right?

10:47 am January, 14 Redouche-Reooze-Repsycho said...

I think he had his dosages tattooed down his right side just in case someone finds him face-down in his own sick, twitching uncontrollably, and decides to call poison control.

10:49 am January, 14 Vin Douchal said...

He looks dispeptic.
.
My theory:
. She ate at the Planet Hollywood buffet, paying close attention to the Indian Food section and drinking the “Never Ending Mamosa” until she became stuffed, bloated and very flatulent.
.
Like any redblooded American male would do, Pete went down on Tammy for quite some time back at the room. Her vaginal juices had a decidely curry scenting and flavor. Pete loves him some pussy eatin’ so he soldiered on.
.
Tammy could no longer hold back and a simultanious explosion of queef and fart blasted at the same time, covering Pete’s face with liquids heretofore never experienced by our hero.
.
Pete’s Corona and Cuervo Gold fueled boner would not let him relent so he went up in there and got his nut off, trying to disguise his I-think-I-sniffed-dog-shit face the best he could .
.
Moments later at the pool, Pete posed with his gal, but the stench would not leave his upper lip even after a few dips in the pool and applying half a bottle of Coppertone cocoanut SPF30 to his vein addled frame.
.
Later, in the 108 degree blazing sunshine, Pete threw up in the hot tub, scattering Douchebags and Bleeths like cockk-a-roaches when you turn on the basement light to a symphony of “Duuuude!” and”Eeeeeeew!”

10:50 am January, 14 Redouche-Reooze-Repsycho said...

She’s wearing a ruby-encrusted bikini. If she squeezes her breasts together three times and says, “There’s no place like home,” will she disappear from the side of the Munchkin and awaken in her bed in Kansas?

11:00 am January, 14 RUSH said...

@RRR, you never listen to us anymore. What happened? We’re right next to Ratt in your alphabetized record collection, man. C’mon, give us a listen. FREE BIRDS!

11:07 am January, 14 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

This guy is like 4′ 11″ ! Combo Napoleon-oldbag.

11:12 am January, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Dark Sock is getting his groove on Rocco Siffredi style this weekend. Get out the painkillers and Hot Sensations Astro Glide Mrs. Sock. And Merry Christmas to all. What son.

11:28 am January, 14 mr.reeve said...

Is that Marky Mark? Marky Mark and the Orange Funky Shorts
God damn Tammy is HoH hott! All natural cockk raisen good.

11:29 am January, 14 mr.reeve said...

SON

11:39 am January, 14 Wheezer said...

He wants to be in The Hobbit as one of the dwarves: ‘Glowin’
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Fuccen crickets again? Sonofa…..

1:12 pm January, 14 anonymouse said...

Groin vein reveal FTL.

1:21 pm January, 14 Redouche-Reooze-Repsycho said...

@RUSH:
Please! I never owned a Ratt album in my life. Glam-metal– really? Do I seem like I tease my hair, wear spandex and suck dick? I’m not a Zyzz-worshipping bodybuilder, dammit!
.
Besides, you know damn well I had my Hemispheres cassette cranked up in my 19-year-old Mercury Topaz just the other day. Well, until the deck pulled it apart, that is. Fuccen crappy headcleaner! I’m demanding a refund from K-Mart as soon as I leave work today!

1:30 pm January, 14 RUSH said...

@RRR, c’mon, there’s nothing wrong with liking Ratt. Give us a spin again man. Ever since you started listening to the new Brittney you’ve been acting all weird man. Man. Time to rediscover your roots. You’re from Canada right? KMarts gone man, sorry to be the one to break it to you. Also, I don’t think you’re gay man, but the other records in your collection do. So play us dammit! Wait is Hemispheres a RUSH album? I should be more thorough with my research man.

1:31 pm January, 14 Stephanie said...

Veins on his groin area are yucky,cover it up Napoleon Blownapart.

2:19 pm January, 14 Redouche-Reooze-Repsycho said...

@Rush:
Hemispheres came out a long time ago, Rush. You fellas are getting pretty old– it doesn’t surprise me that you can’t remember every album you recorded. You’ve put out about 38, when you include the live albums and compilations..
.
And hell, no, I’m not from Canada. I was born in the South, came of age in central Ohio, spent some educational years out East and have bounced around between Texas, Missouri, Washington and Connecticut since. But I don’t really even like snow, and Molson and LaBatt’s taste like beaver urine, which is probably what’s in them. Plus, most popular culture that comes out of Canada blows, RUSH being the primary exception.

3:16 pm January, 14 Collaz B. Popped said...

Hes really flexing in this pic.

First RATT is classic,,,,but they blew the major label load early. Round N Round will be a classic for a long time.

2112, need I say more? Not even a big RUSH fan,,,but it was a dangerously progressive release.

Lifeson Limelight solo lives forever.

3:24 pm January, 14 RUSH said...

@RRR, thanks man, we do it all for fans like you. Now if you’ll excuse us we need to go practice. I’m gonna dedicate the first song, a RUSH favorite, “Stairway to Heaven” to you Redouche, on account you seem like the religious type. Rock on, eh.

6:12 pm January, 14 Medusa Oblongata said...

What does that say on his side?
“God grant me the serenity to accept the cock in my ass,
the courage to mainline steroids
and the wisdom to be a douchebag.”
.
Oh.

7:13 pm January, 14 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

After enlarging the picture, I read on his side tatts what appears to be “I’ve got the urge to be laid by a dog.”

Now that’s just so bitchin’.

7:19 pm January, 14 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

All ‘dem varicose veins come from the strain of ridding one’s self daily of all the poo a douchebag produces.

Wait. I meant hemorrhoids.
Same diff, specific locale.

11:54 pm January, 14 Guid is Good said...

That veiny oldbag looks like the golf course from Caddyshack.

12:34 pm January, 15 DadBag said...

looks like Fish Slaps dad

2:41 pm January, 15 Jerry from Accounting said...

@DadBag. Fuck Fishslap.

2:26 am January, 17 Motorcycle Parts said...

Elastic, plastic, holograms, that are little more than empty wallets of buyers.

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