Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Random Thoughts on the Woo

Here’s the thing about what motivates the males of our culture to try to achieve fame, fortune and money via the imitation of rock star ethos.

Boobie Hottie Suckle Thigh.

And, at its core, this motivation is understandable and as it should be.

If a preachy Robin Williams talks about dead poets wooing women with words in times gone by, the kernel of truth remains the throughline to today’s present status of Douglas Sirkian imitation of life via the online magnification of t-shirt and stupid-hair echo. Via the social networks and twitlonger bonus rounds, the Vegas Doucheclowns imitate the star pinnacle to attract ancillary suckle thigh.

The motivation is not suspect.

The culture, however, is. For it has gone rancid, douchal and entirely about overpaying for the ethereal validation that can never, naturally, be had.

But the boobies are real. And the motivation is real.

The Boobie Hottie Suckle Thigh screams “Woo!” when she wants to be wooed. And the competition to woo, via the woo, is, of course, eventually directed by John Woo.

# posted by douchebag1
11:32 am January, 11 DarkSock said...

Scientists do not yet fully understand why woo-hotts are unjustly attracted sexually to pumpkin colored manscaping douchebags. .
.
This unsolved theorum in which perfectly spankable taut-bodied young girls are drawn to self-tanning self-worshipping male dildos (hooked on dildonics, if you will) is commonly referred to amongst researchers as “A Cockk-Work Orange”, in honor of the late Stanley Douche-Brick, who was the first choad to die of rectal urinary obstruction.
.
Medical Fact, Son.

11:46 am January, 11 Wheezer said...

HOLYSHITLOOKATTHESIZEOFTHOSE—–fake.
.
.
.
.
Dammit.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Son.

11:50 am January, 11 Nancy Dreuche said...

Then Dr Seuss writes a book about it called “Horton Hears a Woo”.

11:58 am January, 11 Wedgie said...

My penis, who I recently named “Son”, is very happy right now, looking at this picture. He told me so, while I was holding him up to the computer screen.
I think Holly’s cousin is just as hot as Holly. But until we are provided with a photo of them side by side, how are we to know for sure?
Photoshoppers, get busy.

12:00 pm January, 11 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

If that woman’s name is Pam and she’s given up her love of Jesus and virginal ways for these two douchebags then I knew her in high school.
.
I wonder if either of theses guy’s fathers have said this to them, “Look son, you’ve become an embarrassment to me. So much so I cringe to call you son, son.”
.
Anybody remember that mint called Son Son? Billy Joel sang about it in Keeping The Faith.

12:02 pm January, 11 One for the Choad said...

You could probably bounce a quarter off of those things, but I must say they suit her. Now take off the shades so we can see your eyes.

12:03 pm January, 11 Captain Scrote Sparrow said...

It is true that Miss Woo has commissioned a tractor beam between her grandiose fleshy lady mountains. I simply do not care about this particular involvement of douche… now; back to my thoughts.

12:10 pm January, 11 YA said...

And the competition to woo, via the woo, is, of course, eventually directed by John Woo.

What are you saying? That douchebags are eventually going to have wild shootouts to compete over the hotts? Leaping through the air while wearing sunglasses (at night, of course) while doves fly in the background, with a (blinged out gold-plated) handgun in each hand?

IS CASTOR TROY THE FUTURE OF DOUCHEDOM?
http://blahblahblahscience.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/castor.jpg

12:20 pm January, 11 Vin Douchal said...

Ya know, I blame the Eighties. Back then I had a job in sales near the Sunland/Tujunga area north of Los Angeles and in strutted two dudes with teased long hair and deep V spandex tank tops displaying their mottled chest hair and nips and mutli-colored parachute pants.
.
After the double take/spit take I asked the chick at the front of the store, “Are they musicians”? because she knew them.
.
She said no. So I asked if she liked their look and she practically melted as she told me how sexy they were.
.
Blame David Lee Roth and on a lesser scale Ratt for starting the trend. Dress like a moronic tool and the chicks will come (double entendre intended).

12:24 pm January, 11 Vin Douchal said...

BTW, here’s an incredible chick you’ve never heard of, Michelle Baker

12:29 pm January, 11 BigBag said...

DB1- I think you might be taking a little poetic liberty when you call the boobies “real”.

12:33 pm January, 11 UFO Destroyers said...

If they can be touched, they can be called “real.”
.
Not that I’d ever be able to touch them, but you know what I mean.

12:51 pm January, 11 dbBen said...

I believe that is Juilan Assange there on the right.
.
Also, Pam could make a wiki leak.

12:52 pm January, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

That girl should drop these punks, get in her Dad’s car and drive directly to Vivid Entertainment. I see her and Sasha Grey munching on each other and taking hard, deep anal. Sweet Jebus I love porn, son.

12:55 pm January, 11 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I think the boobs problem lies boobs in message wimmen boobs are getting from society boobs in general. I mean they feel boobs like they must boobs be sexy and feminine boobs but at the same time be strong boobs and smart boobs. This type of boobs marketing towards wimmen’s insecurities boobs sends them boobs mixed messages. In order to boobs keep themselves boobs in line with boobs both of these boobs they must boobs shoot down “normal” boobs guys and go after the hot, sexy boobs douche who can give them boobs the “lifestyle” that they should boobs have. So they boobs seek out these assclown boobs under false boobs assumptions to begin boobs with. Now boobs, where boobs was boobs I boobs?

1:03 pm January, 11 jonezy said...

in emoticon speaky, isn’t Woo really just Madonna titties next to Pam Anderson titties?

V V ( . ) ( . )

Or maybe the W is more of a holy triangle thing?

1:24 pm January, 11 Deltus said...

( o Y o )
.
I’m not convinced they’re fake. And I realize that’s probably more wishful thinking. And no, I don’t want to be convinced otherwise.

1:40 pm January, 11 Et Tu Douche? said...

I loves me some Woo-Tang and Woo-Tang ain’t nothin to fucck with Son!!. Not sure where I was going with that, carry on.

1:49 pm January, 11 Baron Von Goolo said...

@ Vin
.
I’ve really got to remember to stop wearing my evening tuxedo before I click anything here.
Anyway, my dry cleaner thanks you.

2:04 pm January, 11 massengill said...

@BigBag

If they can be seen and touched, they are real.

2:34 pm January, 11 Southern Scrotic said...

She has complex boobs consisting of a real component and an imaginary component.

2:52 pm January, 11 The Dude said...

DB1, can you rotate the image so Miss Woo Hott is upright? My neck is getting sore.

3:35 pm January, 11 DarkSock said...

Is that mercury leaking out of her lower abdomen? Looks like Frank and Medusa have been busy lately.
.
I approve, son.

3:41 pm January, 11 Fatness said...

Nice grandpa hat there, Eugene.

3:44 pm January, 11 Fatness said...

Boobie Hottie Suckle Thigh in the photo above looks like a chick I dated in college, except that it appears someone stuffed an air hose up her bung and pumped to 80 PSI. And what’s with the belly scars?

3:46 pm January, 11 Southern Scrotic said...

And what’s up with the bump in her bikini bottom just left of center?

3:51 pm January, 11 Nancy Dreuche said...

^Its a third nipple.

P.S. Son.

3:57 pm January, 11 Redouche-Reooze-Repsycho said...

I was going to make some sort of comment on this pic that was lewd and praising of her and disparaging of the douches, but I don’t think anything I type will compare favorably to Jonezy’s 1:03 emoticon theory.

This thread is all academic now– Jonezy won, sons. WOO!

4:11 pm January, 11 Frank Mercurio said...

@ DarkSock 3:35
You are indeed correct. All that could be heard was the sound of Medusa grunting, the rustle of Woo hottie’s hair as it was gripped tighter in the gorgon’s sinewy claw. There was a slight, metallic ping as a misplaced thrust chipped the top of my head against woo’s pelvic bone, and I felt the cool rush of my center begin to seep out.
.
I called out for help as she thrust me in and out, my life’s blood drained into Woo’s wet, slippery cave. I could hear Medusa cursing and Woo either crying in pain or pleasure. Suddenly, the rhythm abruptly changed, and I was pulled out, blinking in the harsh, overhead lights of the playpen. Medusa flopped me onto Woo’s taut, quivering belly and made a face as a trickle of mercury leaked from my head and pooled in Woo’s navel.
.
“Fuck. Not again, Frank,” she growled, a shimmering bead of sweat trickling down her temple. “That’s two we killed this week.”
“What?” Woo gasped.
“I wasn’t talking to you, cunt!” Medusa snapped. “Now shut up before he gets up your ass and does some more damage!”
.
And that’s the truth.

4:11 pm January, 11 Nancy Dreuche said...

@RRR, you’re an undercover Woo! Hott. I knew it! Do you have a belly piercing and what’s your favorite cocktail?

4:31 pm January, 11 I R A Darth Aggie said...

But the boobies are real.
.
I’m going to have to verify that statement. Whilst I might welcome our new overlords, I will not take statements like that without proof. Hold still, dear, this won’t hurt a bit. Just think of it as a breast examination.

5:18 pm January, 11 Medusa Oblongata said...

Frank, I……Jesus. What the fuck, Frank.

5:39 pm January, 11 DoucheyWallnuts said...

What is ironic about the pursuit for fame is that all the hard work results in the ability to pork sub-human cum dumpsters like this piece of work with the fake tits and absolute-fuccen-lutely horrendous belly piercing. A real man would ignore this skooneetz (dialectic slang Italian, and by “dialectic” I mean a three-block area around Bloomfield Avenue in Newark) because she is paying attention to these human cum-stains. Wow, I’m hostile…it must be the impending snow storm.

5:55 pm January, 11 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Julian Assange’s twin brother, Marmoset, poses with an off-hours Vegas stripper and his gaybag lover, Choadlick Baggington III.

7:53 pm January, 11 Baron Von Goolo said...

Well…………I think it’s safe to say that Frank made it onto a watchlist today.
.
Strong work, Francis.

12:08 am January, 12 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

WOO is merely a representation of the side-by-side displacement of the two OO from the W., the latter being the droopy sling that rounds out nicely when the OO fill it.

Now, in a genuine WOO, there is no space between the OO at all. But with bolt-ons, clearly the situation is one of O O.

Now, I believe I’ll have two nips of gin, Son.
Excuse me.

1:52 am January, 12 Motorcycle Parts said...

Jump in the air while wearing sunglasses (at night, of course), while the doves flying in the background, with a firearm (blinged gold plating) in each hand

3:51 am January, 12 Steve L. said...

when i realize that even John Woo can’t un-douche the Woo, i sob and wimper like a 3 year old.

4:42 am January, 12 Douchble Helix said...

“Real Boobies’ (plum bobbed), Holly, & Elizabeth…

http://img703.imageshack.us/img703/1771/111044.jpg

5:19 am January, 12 Douchble Helix said...

Redo: HoH Elizabeth (plumb bobbed), Holly, Real Boobies (plumb bobbed, shark douchebag minimized):

http://img195.imageshack.us/img195/1771/111044.jpg

5:53 am January, 12 mr.reeve said...

Wedgie, this chick is no Holly. Holly is in a class of her own. Just ask my penis, son.
Vin, my penis knows who Michelle Baker is. It celebrates with growing and spitting when it see’s her, son.
As for the possible lesbo on the left of this hot, my penis says you may have a vag, son.

2:23 am January, 19 Canadian Pharmacy said...

It ‘s a loss of mercury from its underbelly? Medusa seems to Frank and has recently occupied.

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