Friday, January 14, 2011

Reader Mail: Irish Musclebag

Reader Antibleeth writes in from Ireland with a Musclebag Tag:

——
DB1
This is ‘Corven’, a semi professional wrestler in Ireland… whos real name is Colin.

He get shirtless at every opportunity, even in the irish weather and upon meeting people for the first time he insists they feel his abs and/or biceps. He is a man of few words, though enjoys listing each of his individual muscles with each given their own adjective (such as terrific triceps, brilliant biceps etc).

He claims to have slept with 52 women during one summer… in spain, so there is no evidence. He has 15″ biceps, so I am reliably and aggressively told.

Douche. Bag.

— Antibleeth

———-

Something tells me stories of sexual adventures in Spain is to Ireland what the greater Niagara Falls Area was to nerds before The Breakfast Club came out and killed it.

# posted by douchebag1
11:33 am January, 14 mr.reeve said...

Nothing says “playa” like a mattress on the floor. “Get some” box spring and a frame musclebag.

11:37 am January, 14 Wheezer said...

He looks as though he’d be much happier sitting on a shillelagh.

11:44 am January, 14 Douchey Lewis and the News said...

Great! Now school girl outfits are ruined for me…this is a sucky day for a Friday

12:04 pm January, 14 Douchesquire said...

Boobies.

12:05 pm January, 14 Wedgie said...

I’ve got news for you, my Irish friend:
15 inches might be big if you’re talking about your johnson, but for biceps, that’s nothin’. Where I work out, we have some girls that big (World Gym, San Diego). The big boys down there are all in the 20’s (I am not one of them).
If you’re gonna brag, you better have the goods, laddie. Otherwise, you’re jack sheit.

12:08 pm January, 14 Wedgie said...

BTW, I bet he’s got the decimal point in the wrong place with that alleged Spanish body count. By two places. He really just screwed a midget for the whole summer: .52 is the real score.

12:10 pm January, 14 memphis doucheworkers local 421 said...

someone should “reliably and aggressively” introduce his face to the Blarney Stone. This is an international infection we’re fighting, and no form of baggery -even celtbaggery- should be tolerated

12:13 pm January, 14 Deltus said...

The lass herein has my Irish eyes a-smilin’. And by that, I mean I have a turgid erection looking at her goodies. Well shore and begorah, me shillelagh is root-deep in your fertile valley!

12:20 pm January, 14 Et Tu Douche? said...

Dear Antibleeth,
.
What you want to do is put him on the next Air Lingus flight to Beantown, tell him to then take a taxi to either Southie or Chucktown, it doesn’t really matter. Tell him when he gets there that all he has to do is walk into one of the local watering holes and yell at the top of his lungs that “Larry Bird sucked!!! & Terry O’Reilly was a pussy!!!. This will help ingratiate him the locals. It will also allow him to realize that his semi pro wrestling skills and his 15” biceps are useless as he gets gang beaten into submission.
.
PS, I love your outfit, it’s a classic and has made many boys, men and some women to give thanks & praise while also inspiring many a nocturnal emission

12:26 pm January, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I agree Wedgeman. Not that I’m a bodybuilder but I’ve had bigger arms than that since I was 15. A guys gotta work you know. They are strangely orange for Irish folk but that may be a Guiness stain. I am Irish as shit and I only get that color late July after spending a month at swimming lessons with my wee Colleens. As far as her ruining schoolgirl uniforms Douchey Lewis, you have to see what most Irish girls look like, at least she has teeth,semi crossed eyes and two boobs, three if you count him. I’d hit it. The Irish chicks fuck like animals. I went when I was done of high school when condoms were still banned in the Republic. If the girls new you had rubbers they’d fight to buy you drinks. Good times and gonorrhea. I still think that Wanda Sykes is a hot piece of ass, her and George Lopez. Go Jets.

12:30 pm January, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Et tu

That shit wouldn’t last 5 minutes at the Union
Oyster Bar.

12:32 pm January, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^House

12:45 pm January, 14 Condouchious said...

Steel chair to Corven/Colin’s head

12:45 pm January, 14 Blinded by the Shite said...

Well colour me green, a fellow Irish ‘bag hunter! Top o’ the mornin’ to ye, lassie.

Douche adornments and attitude have had limited but visible impact here (north of the Border), and where the Affliction and Hardy fizzle out, the collar pop and Jaysus bling certainly bring the crap supermarket brand cola to the party.

Together with the Rubberbandits’ ‘Horse Outside‘, it seems we’re fighting the good fight.

12:56 pm January, 14 RUSH said...

Bodacious ta-tas.

1:27 pm January, 14 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Deer Antibleeth,
.
Please tell me there’s at least one Irish lass who’s not a bleeth?

1:27 pm January, 14 Stephanie said...

Nothing says cheap ass loser than a mattress on the floor.

2:09 pm January, 14 Southern Scrotic said...

He really shouldn’t be acting so naughty with mom looking over his shoulder.

2:43 pm January, 14 Captain Scrote Sparrow said...

Kathy has the face of a well seasoned cast iron skillet and the ass of a drunken jocky and …… mmmmm, nice tits!
.
The leprechaun is a defiant corn-gobbler getting a little too close to his little cousin…

3:12 pm January, 14 Collaz B. Popped said...

^Et Tu Douche – Lingus to Terry O’Reilly,,,,the DB would be DOA.

Nicely put,,,,even as I am closet Islander fan from way back.

EURO DOUCHE!

4:12 pm January, 14 THAT OLD LADY FROM THE OLD WENDY'S COMMERCIALS said...

Where’s the hott?

4:27 pm January, 14 Et Tu Douche? said...

@ Collaz,
.
O’Reilly v Gillies those were the good old days when hockey was hockey.
.
@ Rev
.
Agreed

6:08 pm January, 14 Medusa Oblongata said...

Yeesh, that chick is Teh Yuck. And he is uberpoo. 15 inches? Come on. I’m at a lean point, untrained at that, so I’m a bit jiggly in all the wrong places. And I still have 12 inch biceps. When I was working out hard, I got to 15, 14 when I was a big fatass. Give me a break. And by break I mean Pogue mahon.

7:03 pm January, 14 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Sorry to say, there was Celtic douche before the term douchebag was even coined.

8:31 pm January, 14 Steve said...

15 inches? Please, unless that guy is 4-3, his arms must look like spaghetti. I’m only 5-2 and my arms measure 14 1/2, and I still consider them small.

11:23 pm January, 14 creature said...

Plinky’s mom’s pussy fell out on this guys mattress

8:48 am January, 15 Nigel said...

This Irishman’s sparse furnishings is a glimpse into the future for you Yanks. It should be fair warning as you embrace your present leadership’s march toward a Socialist Utopia.
Good Luck!

9:03 am January, 15 The Boston Red Sox said...

@Nigel, BoSox here. Yes, the entire team. What leader do you speak of? The all mighty and knowing DB1 or President Obama?

9:30 am January, 15 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Colin? That’s a shitty name.

4:08 pm January, 15 Rick Rollin said...

Rollin, rollin here comes Colon, rawhide!

4:14 pm January, 15 Sir David Douchenborough said...

“Corven” needs another potato famine.

2:24 am January, 17 Motorcycle Parts said...

This will help to flatter him to the locals. It also allows you to understand that his wrestling skills and his semi-pro 15-inch biceps is useless as she was gang beaten into submission.

12:10 pm January, 20 Peter Dragon said...

Didn’t know there were so many Irish posters here – where were you all when I was posting about Jedward, orange girls, Red Cup’s arrival in Tesco?!!!

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