Sunday, January 30, 2011

Retro 80s Douchery: “Just One of the Guys”

Very few embodied classic 1980s proto-baggery quite like the great 80s teen movie villain, William Zabka.

How many early signs of budding choadal development can you find in this clip?

# posted by douchebag1
8:25 am January, 30 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Too many…

9:20 am January, 30 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Puts down the bong and goes to church.

9:25 am January, 30 Wheezer said...

I’m thankful that this is from the pre-frolic era.

10:31 am January, 30 Ted Brogan said...

People who grew up in the 80’s are conditioned to hate blonde guys.

11:26 am January, 30 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

Zabka has been nominated for an Academy Award in the Short Film Category (2004)…and, in real life, is definitively not a douche…but we all still love to hate him!

Douche on Johnny Lawrence.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Zabka

12:11 pm January, 30 Vin Douchal said...

Watching the Pro Bowlers tourney today I realized, “bowler Pete Weber and sports caster Scott Ferrall…. separated at birth?
.
Weber
.
.
.
Ferrall
.

.
.
What a great TV sports weekend with no football. Got Aussie tennis and bowling in the forefront. Real individual sports mano a mano, not a bunch of fat asses bumping dicks while mushmouth Dan Dierdof says, “demoralizing” 52 times in two hours. Fuck, I am hungover

12:19 pm January, 30 Vin Douchal said...

Forgot to mention Travis Pastrana’s NASCAR debut at Irwindale last night. Good showing for 6th place. Take that Danica
.

12:37 pm January, 30 Wheezer said...

Vin, I’ll “take that Danica” and like it!

12:51 pm January, 30 DarkSock said...

Now Zabka’s old enough to do heroic wedgies with his fellow nursing home inmate’s rectal polyps.

12:52 pm January, 30 DarkSock said...

Little known fact: Zabka actually grabbed the kid’s weenus during that take; panicked, the teen voided his bladder and became the first person to pee in his own butt.
.
Medical FACT.

12:55 pm January, 30 DarkSock said...

There are those that claim giving wedgies exhibits repressed homosexual feelings. I disagree; reaching into a young boys pants and grasping his underwear and pulling them firmly and inexorably into their external genitalia is an exhibition of overt homosexual tendencies.
.
Don’t even get me started with the NFL and their shiny pants and pile-ons and hucking the pork between one’s legs and what-not.
.
Not that there’s anything wrong with all that.

1:32 pm January, 30 DoucheyWallnuts said...

The chode in the red shirt far outshines BZab’s doucheness…However, this was par for the course in the dead zone known as the 80s.

2:38 pm January, 30 Hermit said...

“How many early signs of budding choadal development can you find in this clip?”
.
Just one, the disturbing bulge which developed in the eager bully’s pulsating groin, as he rhythmically rubbed the shy, young freshman’s tender white buttocks against the front of his throbbing, stone-washed denims.

2:54 pm January, 30 Corsican Gigilo said...

Well well well I did a google search on pathetic, then hit “Feel Lucky” and showed up here. you got to be kiddin me. u all really do this tay in and day out? for real? huh. bunch of circle jerks that talk shit but don’t do shit. Here’s a hint ladies its called “ENVY”. I’d tell you what to do to make you more like me but you can’t fix LOOSER so I guess u gotta make like a casino and DEAL BWAHAHAHAAAAAA u dummies would get ur asses beat down by trekkies O WAIT U R TREKKIES
funny shit

3:03 pm January, 30 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@ Corsican Gigilo
.
I must disagree with you. You actually can fix LOOSER.

– With a belt
– With a few turns of a wrench
– With a few extra stitches after the baby’s been born (if you know what I mean)
– And for those times when you’ve eaten stuff that doesn’t agree with you, a few doses of Pepto
.
Or you could put that cockk back in your mouth that you’ve been sucking on all day, and that would solve the LOOSER problem for pretty much everyone around you..
.
It’s up to you of course.

3:22 pm January, 30 memphis doucheworkers local 421 said...

I have always been a fan of Zabka and his array of indistinguishable 80’s protobag high school villains. I highly recommend the following essay, which expertly explains why Daniel Larusso is actually the douchiest character in the Karate Kid.

http://www.ruthlessreviews.com/776/karate-kid-the-misundertood-johnny-lawrence/

3:52 pm January, 30 soy bomb said...

@Corsican Gigilo: You can indeed fix “LOOSER.” Simply remove one of the “Os” and blammo! Your weak-assed attempt at a put-down is now spelled correctly. Unfortunately, it’s clear that your near insatiable love of man gravy has finally caught up with you. You’ve suffered one too many bukkake facials and I’m sad to report that you’ve received a cumcussion. This condition is irreversible.

4:43 pm January, 30 FoghornLeghorn said...

@Corsican Gigilo: I can google, too, and when I googled “Gigilo”, they told me I mis-spelled it. Thanks for sharing though. No, really.

4:48 pm January, 30 G said...

Corsican Gigilo? please…receiving a well hung salami into your ass every other night does not warrant calling yourself a gigilo…

5:06 pm January, 30 lesbian chicken said...

I don’t know which William Zabka performance I like the best:

Karate Kid or Back to School

5:09 pm January, 30 Nancy Dreuche said...

@The Local 421, funny article. I always thought the karate kid was a whiney baby crys a lot.

@Corsican Gigi, I’ve seen like two Star Trek movies, and that was only with Rifftrax on. Those guys that did MST3K do them to make lame movies watchable. Its the only way to watch them really. But the jokes might go over your head. Lol. So you might want to stick to the Spice channel. Hopefully you can follow the plot lines.

5:12 pm January, 30 DarkSock said...

Some interesting anagrams for “Corsican Gigilo”
.
Coca Soiling Rig
.
Is Circling A Goo
.
And what is most apropos for you:
.
“I Sac-Gig Corn Oil”
qawfe

5:27 pm January, 30 Rockabilly Johnny and the Electric Foreskin Benders said...

^Damn,
I would have sworn I saw two greased- up, handsome young men locked in a wonderfyl homo-erotic embrace somewhere on this site.
Must have been just another one of those dreams I keep having.

6:08 pm January, 30 Juggernotta said...

Shame on you DB1. Showing any clip of this movie without including the “reveal” is just wrong.

BooBies

6:31 pm January, 30 Anonymous said...

Corsican Gig,
.
You CAN fix looser, oh, wait, Mr. Scrotato Head and Soy Bomb beat me to it, so I’ll take the high road…
.
you’re just a hatter, beeeioch.

6:32 pm January, 30 anon said...

Corsican Gig,
.
You CAN fix looser, oh, wait, Mr. Scrotato Head and Soy Bomb beat me to it, so I’ll take the high road…
.
you’re just a hatter, beeeioch.

7:14 pm January, 30 creature said...

I like when the girl/boy shows her tits

7:14 pm January, 30 creature said...

can we have that clip boss?

7:15 pm January, 30 Vin Douchal said...

Another “Separated At Birth:
.
.
GOP pundit / apologist Monica Crowley
.

.
.
Pornstar Carolyn Reese
.

.
.
Ever see these two in the same room at the same time ? Hmm? Or both on The McLaughlin Group in the same week?

7:17 pm January, 30 Vin Douchal said...

Fuckk!
Monica:

.

Carolyn
.

7:57 pm January, 30 Wedgie said...

Monica & Carolyn kind of look like a “before & after” sample from our local after-market surgeon.

8:22 pm January, 30 DarkSock said...

@ Rockabilly Johnny:
.
The first image was just too gay. Or too “corsican” as some might say.

8:31 pm January, 30 Wheezer said...

Corsican Gigilo said…Well well well I did a google search on pathetic, then hit “Feel Lucky”…..
.
That’s a disturbing metaphor.
.
.
.
.
.
Son, we Google “boobies” in these here (motorcycle) parts…..

8:47 pm January, 30 Troy Tempest said...

@Corsican gigilo:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9kpTvm6CYA

8:50 pm January, 30 Medusa Oblongata said...

TROLOLOLOLOLOL
.
Either way, Corsica is France’s ashtray. Ha, ha.

9:38 pm January, 30 Wheezer said...

No doubt this is in Corsican Gigli’s Spank Bank…..

4:39 am January, 31 Motorcycle Parts said...

It is clear that the nearest insatiable love for the sauce man has finally caught up with you. You have suffered too many facials Bukkake and I am sorry to announce that you have received a cumcussion.

5:36 am January, 31 Collaz B. Popped said...

Local Dworkers 421 beat me to the Ruthless Reviews site,,,nicely done.

6:36 am January, 31 memphis doucheworkers local 421 said...

@ motorcycle parts:

that’s a very original post. did you come up with that yourself?

7:23 am January, 31 Ferris said...

“Make like a casino and deal”????

Maybe I’ll make like a tree and leave? Or I’ll make like a snowplow and get the hail out of here? Or maybe I’ll make like a cow and mooooooove?

But most likely I’ll just sit here and wonder why you talk like a kindergartner?

8:08 am February, 1 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Ferris
.
You forgot “make like a fetus and head out”. My “favorite” is “make like a bird and get the flock out of here”. Then again, I’m kinda simple that way.

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