Wednesday, January 5, 2011

The “Ironic” Kissy Lips: A Reminder

No. No “irony” or humor leniency in the age of Jersey Shore. None.

You remain completely and fully douchey upon demonstrative kissy lips. No exceptions. None shall pass.

Laker Girl Sue may not have been caught at the best angle, but her teeth are healthy, and so I will salt her kneecaps with sea salt and cry softly in a basin.

# posted by douchebag1
7:16 am January, 5 Guns-N-Douches said...

Kissy lips needs to be punched squarely in the face to remind him that when it comes to douche expressions, no means no. Sue needs to work on her posture or get her chesticles downsized as it’s leading to some serious quasimodo haunch.

7:21 am January, 5 RAPETIME said...

Laker Girl Sue needs a sandwich. I could use one of her anorexic arms as a toothpick.

7:33 am January, 5 Deltus said...

A good kick to the face should clear this guy’s head right up. I mean, the shirt looks a *tad* douchey, but it’s not Ed Hardy or Affliction or some shit, so really, aside from the kissy face, he’d get a pass.
.
Laker Girl Sue does need to get her posture right. I bet when she’s not all hunched over, her lithe good looks and what seems to be very impressing boobage would really catch your attention. And by “catch your attention”, I mean “give you an epic, turgid erection”.

7:36 am January, 5 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Are those veins on her forehead or stitches? She’s needs some of what John Candy there is eating behind her.
.
And nice butt pucker there Mr. Delivery Truck driver. Was she purging outside the back entrance when you were stealing five pounders out of your weekly Red Lobster shipment?

7:37 am January, 5 Mr. White said...

Hunchback Sue seems very familiar, but I can’t place her. Has she been on here before? Or maybe anorexic club blondes are just starting to blur together. (New band name = “Anorexic Club Blondes.” Vin?)

7:37 am January, 5 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Being late to the party with Kissy Lips is an offense punishable by pelting with full Axe body spray cans, and is pathetic. The down-market douche shirt is even worse. The result is this douche is worse than the sum of the individual parts.

7:38 am January, 5 Condouchious said...

I punched my monitor immediately upon seeing kissy lips here…my fists do not detect irony nor do they care for it.

7:39 am January, 5 Taint Nuthin But A G-Thang said...

Should I seek therapy for wanting to use a weed whacker on this dude’s face, specifically to hack off his lips? What an idiot.

7:51 am January, 5 Medusa Oblongata said...

They’re both too old for this. All of it.

8:02 am January, 5 Wedgie said...

Laker Girl Sue will join you in your basin-crying. Because her team is playing horribly, and the Zen Master may finally be at the end of his epic run.

8:12 am January, 5 tall guy said...

Agreed with they’re both too old for this call. Especially Sue, who I suspect found anorexia later in life and now is making up for lost time.

8:18 am January, 5 austin said...

shes not hot

8:21 am January, 5 jonezy said...

if she grew some horns, very similar forehead

8:46 am January, 5 Zen and the Art of Douchebaggery said...

The Lakers STINK!

8:52 am January, 5 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

ICONIC….Douchebag!

9:12 am January, 5 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

This jackass is so self-absorbed that he’s thinking of what it would be like to blow his own weenus. At least he’s in the ballpark for the circumference of it.

9:16 am January, 5 Mr. White said...

@wedgie
Laker Girl will join in basin crying because she’s SO. VERY. HUNGRY.

10:05 am January, 5 Deltus said...

How can a chick that thin (and one assumes dehydrated along with that) have nice jugs like that? They’re disproportionate.

10:07 am January, 5 Nancy Dreuche said...

Her basketballs look deflated. He can kiss my arse. End transmission.

11:17 am January, 5 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

These two got nothin on Dennis Leary, Jon Favreau, and Jeremy Piven. Dennis Leary is a Jew. Known medical fact from Dark Sock. And remember I loves me the Jews.

11:19 am January, 5 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^Because I fucck them and feed them every day. Jews I mean. Kosher Saturday is coming again. Watch Team Canada beat the commies today. If anyone needs some good chronic let me know. I’m a giver.

3:03 pm January, 5 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

I always get the feeling that the pucker-uppers on this site have been

a) watching Bogey and Bacall in “To Have or Have Not.”

b) emulating the Seven Dwarfs while working.

c) inhaling helium.

d) practicing assholery upfront.

7:00 pm January, 5 Douchelips said...

Beware the Douchelips! The scourge of the innocent and much beloved by the Douchebag.

2:51 am January, 6 Canada Pharmacy said...

You can not place. Have you been here before? Or maybe the blonde anorexic club are starting to blur together.

10:31 pm January, 6 Motorcycle Parts said...

Cheap jet T-shirt is even worse. The result is a shower, this is worse than the sum of its parts.

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