Saturday, January 1, 2011

The King Says “Happy Douche Year!!”

Clubwank Bandits are still out there in 2011.

Still to be mocked.

While the Vegas Boobie Hottie Suckle Thigh stays eternally young in the collective subconscious.

Happy Happy to all HCwDB readers as your humble narrator gets drunk in Gotham…

# posted by douchebag1
8:52 am January, 1 wonderdouche twin said...

That’s a lot of boobie suckle, motorboating into the new year!

9:13 am January, 1 Wheezer said...

It’s good to be the fuccen King! Speaking of which, I’m in Middle-Earth all day, waiting for the Return of the King and watching my LOTR DVDs. This is not the King I was expecting to see. Did Sauron really win after all?
.
(shudders)

9:13 am January, 1 Wedgie said...

Has this guy yet appeared in a photo with a questionable hottie? Go pimp daddy.

9:34 am January, 1 Douchble Helix said...

Long live the King!

Shithouse never had hotts like these.

9:54 am January, 1 Nancy Dreuche said...

Thanks King Deezy! Happy New Year to you and your gaggle of girlies.

As for everyone else I hope you all got your daily requirement of some. To a new year! May it be less pooey than the last! (I’m never allowed to give toasts at public functions. I have no idea why.)

10:37 am January, 1 The Dude said...

I’m getting Breast Fatigue. Wher’s da Pear?!

10:48 am January, 1 DarkSock said...

I’m getting Weenus Fatigue; where’s the lotion?

10:49 am January, 1 DarkSock said...

When surrounded by Bikini Hott, even a pro like The King needs a drool napkin affixed to his pie hole.

10:51 am January, 1 DarkSock said...

As Mr. White would say: GET SUM!

10:52 am January, 1 Vin Douchal said...

Ever been hit in the grundle by a leg on grandma’s Murphy Bed as it swings closed ? I thought so.
.
Today I woke up with a 5 year old boy with bacon-tinged Halotosis breathing in my face, 70 pound pit bull laying on my legs and our new 6 pound whatever-it-is scruffy rescue mutt licking my parted lips and the old lady is still out of town so my piss boner was like an exposed hangnail nerve.
.
Yes 2011 has opened with great promise

1:06 pm January, 1 Douche Assassin said...

The girl in the middle is soo HOTT she creates pixel blur as if she was photoshopped in. I hate the king and I suggest a revolt against him.

1:30 pm January, 1 Mr. White said...

Girl on the right has posed in the shape of an integral sign, and I like that.
.
As for the bags, I found some advice for you for these still-troubled times. Watch this video, and heed its advice. If you take away one thing the wise man sings of, let it be this: Stir the fuccen chili like he says. When I order a bowl of chili, I want CHILI, not a bowl of skin that formed on top of the chili. flopping off my spoon like a dead manata ray. And yes, I DO want a Frosty, a milk, a bowl of chili, and 17 cookies. Don’t judge me.

4:03 pm January, 1 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Three fantastic hotts.

Here’s THE douchebag workout for the year 2011.
http://www.healthhabits.ca/2010/12/06/douchebag-workout/

5:44 pm January, 1 I R A Darth Aggie said...

I’ll take the brunette, thanks. The other two are skanks, or possibly hook…er…call girls. Maybe Frito Bandito is their pimp??

5:54 pm January, 1 Douchelips said...

The King deserves his 2010 Irving Thallbag Lifetime Douchechievement award. And he deserves the mock.
.
But DAMN he consistently pulls the hotts….unbelievable.

8:22 pm January, 1 Hardouche Wankstain said...

It’s good to be the king. Always with the hotts. Even if his game is weak he has to tap 1 in 10 of these herp hosts. That means he went balls deep in one of these jumpoffs 33% of the time every time.

10:47 pm January, 1 Medusa Oblongata said...

I just left Mr. Biscotti at O’Hare airport and returned home alone. I am not happy. I will be slinging some exceptionally bitter venom this week, mark my words. I know I’m usually nice to King D. However, fuck that guy and the porcupine that’s humping his scalp. My trusty, three-headed hellhound, Peanut Oblongata, is downstairs in her barbed-wire enclosere, making that yippy noise that dogs make in their sleep. I am certain it’s because her three noses smell three stinky, runny gashes and the smell of sun-baked poo. The one on the left has a lovely case of jungle rot on her ribs. Someone hand me a lawnmower, I have some fucking yard work to do here.

12:14 am January, 2 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

To The Dude:
If you’re getting breast fatigue, you an always put on a brassiere.

King Douchuous makes Stackhouse look like a Flophouse.

When King Douchuous leans over into the punchbowl at parties, he literally spikes the punch with his hair, but I wouldn’t want to be accused of giving trade secrets away.

12:19 am January, 2 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Yes, you CAN always put on a brassiere.

When he is wearing a pink bandana over his face,King Douchuous is either practicing highway robbery, or robbing the cradle. I am not sure which, because these hotchicks have some mighty “high ways” about them, and these days, underaged girls can easily pass for legal.

4:57 am January, 2 Steve L. said...

ah. King D and classic Vegas suckle thigh. just the thing for me to mock when i’ve skipped the country to the middle of nowhere with insufficient internet time to browse and mock all the pics i’ve missed.
stay classy HCwDB!
and go jump in a lake King D!

6:30 am January, 2 Blinded by the Shite said...

@ Vin
That 70lb pitbull sounds like it would have just enough eating in it for Stackhouse.
.
I don’t think that that is King Douchuous. The king is dead, long live the King!

8:33 am January, 2 Collaz B. Popped said...

Magenta headband worn as gangsta lean,,,,,now he’s more douchey than last year.

8:49 am January, 2 mr.reeve said...

The King knows how to round up the Vegas strippers. The King of Cheetahs.

7:34 am January, 3 Vincent Van Douche said...

The hottes strike back – this Youtube video is excellent mock of the douches – a great discovery to start 2011:

“Puke in My Mouth” a response to “Jizz in My Pants”

Mock on!

2:01 pm January, 3 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Uh…Skank on left is having her “monthly visitor” show up unexpectedly. I guess the King won’t have to either give her money for the abortion of, heaven forbid, marry her.

10:52 pm January, 3 Bret said...

somebody please give me this idiot’s address so I can personally saw his head off with a steak knife!

shitbags like this cannot ever be allowed to procreate.

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