Monday, January 17, 2011

The Orange Swirl

Lo! Behold! Whither the brown cow of mooing soul? It is the Southwest, and Juliet has a really bad tan.

Howst uponst thine hottie/douchey singularity canst you suck s’more?

Hardy shorts and orange Bleeth do cohabit to form a singularity of Godless ballwash.

Hark!

Mine eyes shut in rebellion, yet the image stain lingers.

# posted by douchebag1
11:35 am January, 17 Wedgie said...

How fitting that on MLK Day we have such diverse skin tones side by side.
Although, I don’t believe Paul McCartney & Stevie Wonder were singing “Orangey & Ivory” in their famous song.

11:37 am January, 17 Wedgie said...

And p.s. the Ed Hardy “Siegfried & Roy Collection” shorts gotta go.

11:38 am January, 17 Wheezer said...

I see she’s sampling Mr. White’s Dark Brew…..or perhaps her bronzer is seeping into the bottle. One may never know the truth.

11:44 am January, 17 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

I’m a little disappointed that we have yet to see a Brotha Bag in honor of MLK Day. She is a far cry from a Sista Bleeth, but might have to suffice. Dude is going to explode if he holds in his gut much longer.

12:01 pm January, 17 creature said...

I think she’s hot with her enhanced daily double of cans & tan… begs to ask the question, “dost thou carpet match thine drapes?”

12:02 pm January, 17 creature said...

dude can exhale any moment now

12:06 pm January, 17 Bigphatnotadouche said...

Nice bolt-ons on the skinny hott. She looks like she fed up with the whole pool scene and is kicking the Douche in the nads. Maybe there really is justice in Vegas.

12:14 pm January, 17 Anthony LaBaglia said...

Hey! It’s Charlie Sheen’s less-retarded larger twin and my Mom.

12:30 pm January, 17 Crottenham said...

Question to the big, bad Asian – did you actually spend money to buy that t-shirt to make a point with your FU laden response, or is that a regualr piece of your wardrobe?

Either way, thanks for making this websites point loud and clear!

Too funny.

12:34 pm January, 17 Douche Assassin said...

She has a c-section scar… so hott…not so much.

12:35 pm January, 17 Wedgie said...

^Maybe the prior pic?

12:38 pm January, 17 Ted Brogan said...

Leathery.

12:38 pm January, 17 Southern Scrotic said...

She just going to knee the MF in the crotch until she gets her money.

12:41 pm January, 17 Deltus said...

Looking at that pic makes me want to exhale for him. Dude, seriously, stop sucking in the gut, you’re going to break something.

12:41 pm January, 17 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

She’s so skanky she could swallow cock and balls while giving a rimming at the same time. I saw it.

I was reading last weeks posts. I think I was stoned?

1:04 pm January, 17 mr.reeve said...

Brown Creepy Notta Hotta Bleethe and Suck It In Pudwack Billy.

1:17 pm January, 17 Collaz B. Popped said...

Leatherface Bleethy and Frecklechest Suck In.

1:31 pm January, 17 NeverSayNever said...

Is this a trick pic DB1? A reverse game called Where’s the Hott? If so, I think I see her way in the back on the right side… is that her? Did I win? If so, can you please show a close up? I spend all day on the internet and this site looking for the proverbial “girl to jack off too”. Shit, I’d settle at this point to just watch a good jill off demo! @NB 15% too much?

2:21 pm January, 17 Doucheywallnuts said...

Why does he have a tattoo of an armadillo with a hockey stick through it? She’s so freaky she IS hott…dirty hott.

3:12 pm January, 17 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Brain bleach, boss, brain bleach. Helps get the stains out.

3:46 pm January, 17 DarkSock said...

The two faces of Flatulence Suppression.

4:49 pm January, 17 Doc said...

Sucking in the gut doesn’t work there pal.

4:52 pm January, 17 Nancy Dreuche said...

@NeverSayNever, the initials are ND, and yes you are 5% over your alotted creepy limit.

And why don’t you head on over to Girlstojackoffto.com for all of your masturbatory needs. Because there is nothing going on here. I hope that bow is holding that “chick’s” head on. And since she has tanned her hide nicely, to a fine leather if you will, I can finally get that wallet I’ve been wanting. Too much, NeverSayNever?

5:46 pm January, 17 Medusa Oblongata said...

Well, let me be the first to point and laugh at the Chicagobag on the right. Nice Wolves tattoo, fatass. If you’da spent a little less time in the bleachers stuffing your face with nachos, and a little more time walking around, you wouldn’t be sucking it in so hard you get a hernia. Not that she’s anything to try to impress. That right there may be the the most disgusting woman I have seen in the last 72 hours. And trust me, I have been at work for the last 2 days, and in Indiana the day before. I have seen a LOT of disgusting women in the last 72 hours.
.
Speaking of all of the above…..Bless me, ‘Baghunters, for I have sinned. I did a Ed Hardy “Love Kills Slowly” tattoo last night. If it suits the council, I will spend the money on prostitutes and Taco Bell. If there is to be penance for my misdeeds, I humbly await your judgment……

5:53 pm January, 17 Medusa Oblongata said...

This is how the conversation went: “So, I want this tattoo…I wanna put it up kinda high, so you can’t see it when I wear a short-sleeved shirt…. You know, for work and stuff [as if they wear wifebeaters to work]….150 bucks? Ummm….lemme call my wife, one sec….*speaking softly into cell phone* …..It’s gonna be 150……[long pause]….well….welll…..w-…..honey, just let me talk….I know…..you’re right. You’re always right. I love you. I’m so sorry. I’m leaving now… Okay…Yes… Bye. *snaps phone shut and turns back to the tattoo artist, begins speaking really loudly* Yeaaaah, I’m gonna wait for my buddy to come back with me, we’re gonna hit the titty bar and get real shitfaced and then come in, yeah, thanks, man.”
.
Two weeks later, he returns with a woman who looks not unlike the one in the photo, who has a pissy lemon face and makes huffing and sighing noises the whole time he’s getting the tattoo. She pays for it with her credit card while shaking her head and muttering under her breath, He stands behind her, fidgeting and trying not to make eye contact with anyone.

7:05 pm January, 17 creature said...

good eye M.O.
saw the hockey stick, but, couldn’t figure out the rest, guessed an angry lawn gnome
in re, E H tatt… bleed the beast honey

7:08 pm January, 17 Andy Capp said...

I spent a drunken afternoon flirting with a similar Leather Hottie one afternoon over Xmas. I had nothing to do, and nothing but mean intent. We drank watery rum drinks at a bad beach bar at an all inclusive resort. She was a sad and sexually desperate personal assistant from someplace in Iowa. She was probably that color of orange the day she arrived at the all-inclusive resort. When she slipped off the bar seat to go “take care of business”, she made a horrible slithering sound, like an eelskin wallet.
.
I’m sure Leather Hottie makes that sound when SHE walks.
.
He’s just dime-a-dozen former hockey prospect, now with gimpy knees and a job selling Hyundais. That tattoo commemorates his only championship….in the International League. He still thinks he’s hot s–t. That’s why he’s wearing the Ed Hardy diapers.
.

7:34 pm January, 17 Baron Von Goolo said...

She’d be really pretty if she thought she was really pretty. Silkwood shower that walnut wood stain off of her and work a heat gun and a putty knife across that eyeshadow and you’d have someone to take home to mom.
.
Keep the bolt-ons, though. I mean, they’re probably paid for, right? Let’s not be wasteful.

8:22 pm January, 17 Wedgie said...

Medusa:
I hope you made it hurt a little extra, at least. Perhaps next time you could suggest an alternative tatt that sends a similar message, like: “I Am An Asshole” or something instead. “Same thing”, you can explain. “But I’ll make it hurt less, and people won’t make fun of you so much.”

9:37 pm January, 17 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Looks like an IHL hockey tatt of some variety on a good-natured old-bag, and bolt-on boobs on a future Bleeth whose skin will some day make her look like an old bag hag if she doesn’t stay outta the sun.
At least it’s fun to see her high-stickin’ it between his thighs. Makes me wonder, does she pull any hat tricks with that cape hangin’ on her behind?

8:32 am January, 18 Scrotelaw said...

Is that a tattoo of a Gerbil holding a hockey stick?!?!?!?!

8:47 am January, 18 Don Cherry said...

@ Medusa
.
Penance, eh? I’ll get back to you on that one. Maybe we can tie it in with something for The Boss… Mr. White definitely needs to be in on this.

9:24 pm January, 18 douche-a-palouche-a said...

hey …

isn’t that suzie orman?

tell me how to spend my money now, you frackin’ bleeth!

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8:24 am January, 19 Andy Capp said...

Ugg…

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