Tuesday, January 25, 2011

The Starry Blight Classes It Up

Our 2010 Douchie Award winner for Douchiest Tatt, The Starry Blight, aka The King of Sears, doesn’t always hang with Hello Kitty Hott and a gaggle of ‘bags by the pool.

Sometimes, The Starry Blight likes to class up the joint. All with a tie on and shizz. Looking like a gangster Soviet-era meth dealer on Ambien.

Hello Kitty Hott is all that is contradictorially Bleethy/Hott in the douchadox.

# posted by douchebag1
1:18 pm January, 25 Eliza Douchecoo said...

King of Sears has been on the crack diet I see.
I’d like to see Hello Kitty’s crack, I love her…O baby you, you got what I neeeeed….

1:19 pm January, 25 boatbutter said...

He’s got the kind of face a boxer wouldn’t punch.

She’s got the kind of boobs only a polydactyl could squeeze.

1:25 pm January, 25 tall guy said...

massive set of Inflatobags, although she’s still bleeth of indeterminate stage.

1:38 pm January, 25 UFO Destroyers said...

He sure parties with all the stars–pregnant Margaret Cho, skinny Tom Arnold, and Lyle Lovett with abnormally large right arm.

1:40 pm January, 25 Geoffrey said...

She has to have the record for most times on hcwd with different bags.

1:42 pm January, 25 UFO Destroyers said...

Since we can now see her face without the Corolla windshield, is this what Rachel Bilson with blond hair and flotation devices would look like?

1:45 pm January, 25 Deltus said...

I’d use her boobolas to jerk myself off with. I’d have to be boiled in bleach for a minimum 7 minutes afterwards, in accordance with CDC guidelines, but I think it’d be worth it.

1:51 pm January, 25 I R A Darth Aggie said...

I must inspect her boobies. Make sure they’re up to standards and stuff. I will probably catch a contagion. Weep for me.

2:00 pm January, 25 Southern Scrotic said...

Mooooootorrrrrrrrbooooooooooat!
.
Boobies.

2:05 pm January, 25 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Sweet mother of Dark Sock’s turds, she has nice boobs. I had another stoned dream but have to decide if it is too disgusting to post.

2:05 pm January, 25 Captain Garanichode said...

Those are some sweet SOUP CANs there Bleethy! Too bad puppet boy will always be made of would…

2:13 pm January, 25 Douchble Helix said...

Of course, there’s a restraining order. Duh.

http://img841.imageshack.us/img841/5342/blondiem.jpg

2:18 pm January, 25 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Ah, Starry Blight. New clothes, still a complete tool. If Hello Kitty is not already in porn, she really needs to consider it. She has the look.

2:40 pm January, 25 Dave said...

In revisiting the award winning photo I noticed that she’s rocking the female version of the groin shave reveal maneuver. Very nice!

2:43 pm January, 25 Mr. Biggs said...

Hello Kitty’s firm, ripe, playful boobage wrapped so snugly in that shiny package brings out that delicious omnisience that tells us, yes, she’s atrracted a douchebag. Let us scrape him off her so’s we may play.

Starry Blight is proof of why douchebags always wear sunglasses. Or, to paraphrase Abraham Lincoln, better to always wear sunglasses and have oneself thought a douche, than by removing them, remove all doubt.

2:55 pm January, 25 G said...

His face is asking for a Dirty Sanchez…

2:55 pm January, 25 Mr. Biggs said...

Dude looks right out of American Psycho.

3:10 pm January, 25 DoucheyWallnuts said...

The saying “Love can overcome all,” isn’t as true as, “Big tits overcome all.”

3:20 pm January, 25 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Sweet Dolly Madison! She’s about as natural looking as a rubber chicken, and only half as attractive. And she’s the better looking of the two. Some please cull them from the herd before the breed.

3:22 pm January, 25 DarkSock said...

Mother, will they try to break his balls?
GE

3:39 pm January, 25 DarkSock said...

Only too late did Carson realize he’d slipped the roofie into the wrong drink.

3:44 pm January, 25 TheBigLebagski said...

I move for the establishment of the “Hall of Bleeth”.

Surely, this is a time that the outstanding Bleeth among us should be enshrined with their own prestigious honorary and no longer discriminated against to be made to feel lesser than the scrote. Surely, this is that time. Let this be our proclamation on this day of the State of the Union. We are one country. Hott, Bleeth, Scrotewank… each should be treated with appropriate fixed stare… that only the enshrinement in the Hall can provide. If I can change… and you can change… then maybe allz of us can change. Ask not what your country can do for you and remember… Keep hope alive. Because until that day comes, keep your ear to the grindstone.

Hall of Bleeth. Let it be.

4:02 pm January, 25 Andy Capp said...

.
……boobies…….
.
(insensate drooling and chorling noises)
,
…yeah…..
.

4:02 pm January, 25 Vin Douchal said...

I’m getting a garlic breath and chili fart vibe from these two from the hurtin’ they put on the free food mini-cart at the neighborhood bar during happy hour on the way to the club

4:06 pm January, 25 Southern Scrotic said...

@ DW – I think you meant to say “Come all over big tits.”

4:19 pm January, 25 Mikeu said...

I normally do not like those dyed blondes with the fake titties but I will have to agree with DB1. She has a really pretty face and this presents quite the paradox. I bet she would be smoking hot if she was more natural looking. Too bad she probably has low self esteem.

4:23 pm January, 25 Douchble Helix said...

Testing if I can displaythe image right here. Anyone want to just teach me the secret? Thanks.

4:25 pm January, 25 Douchble Helix said...

Last test. Promise.

4:32 pm January, 25 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I really think he’s trying to stabilize her due to her boob poundage.
.
Ok, science time kids. Each boob is roughly the size of her head. The circumference roughly matches so I’m assuming similar volumes. Check it out for yourselves. I’ll give you a minute.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
OK, Jebus Christus! You can stop now. If we assume that each one contains 1 liter of saline with a density of 1.1 g/ml, that means she has 2.2 kg or 4.84 lbs of boobage. Going with this idea a little further, let’s assume she is 5’9″ tall. Using the fact that she can bend at the waist she would generate 158.125 ft*lbs of torque (assuming her total weight is 100 lbs) every time she starts forward. Meth man better start on a heavy lifting program if he’s gonna keep her upright (at least some of the time).

5:31 pm January, 25 Snoop Douchey Bagg said...

She is the matter/anti-matter of bleethy hottness. I’m surprised she doesn’t implode and suck the entire universe into her black hole.

And by black hole, I mean vagina.

5:35 pm January, 25 Wedgie said...

Is it just me, or did her tits get bigger since that last pic by the pool?

7:35 pm January, 25 soy bomb said...

I still laugh when I see the King of Sears’ absurd tat. Those tears of mirth are quickly replaced by tears of rage when I realize that Hello Kitty, the most confusing Bleeth ever, is chugging his meat.

7:35 pm January, 25 army (ret) douche said...

can i second the notion of a hall of bleeth? that to me seems like a good passage of time.

7:46 pm January, 25 Douchble Helix said...

Even laster test…

10:00 pm January, 25 Nancy Dreuche said...

I’m casting my vote for a Hall of Bleeth as well. Theme song to be played during each induction would be “Let It Bleeth” by the Bleethtles, naturally.
.
There is nothing natural about this pair or her pair for that matter.

10:57 pm January, 25 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Frankly, she doesn’t look wigged out enough to qualify as a true Bleeth. Recall Yasmine, if you will, appearing ruined and confused and decrepit as an old pair of torn pantyhose used to clog a leaking pipe.
No, Pink Titty-Kitty here is too much in control to be a complete Bleeth.
And by control, I mean whomping silly douchebags with ginormous whipping balls bolted to her chest.

11:46 pm January, 25 Wheezer said...

If Hello Titty Hott doesn’t watch it, she’s going to find herself and her gargantuan gorilla gaggers in one of these.
.
Does she ever remove her left hand from her hip? (Which is why I have my doubts about that being her with King D.)

12:16 am January, 26 Wheezer said...

Moments later, the “red”head behind King Sharty texted her BFF: “like omg i almos steped n shit i think this guy is like falling apart rite n front of me lol omg lolzzz”

6:24 am January, 26 Anonymous said...

I don’t think that’s an E. I think it’s an H, thus making the Utersladder The King of Sharts.

6:25 am January, 26 Deltus said...

@Whoop-Di-Douche (10:57):
.
You’re right. That’s why she didn’t win Bleethiest Bleeth (The Douchebaguette) in the 2010 awards. Obvious fake boobs, but in a hott way, and she smiles prettily for the camera rather than kissy lips, and no flashing gang signs, and her clothes aren’t super-skanky. A true douchebaguette is *at least* as much about the attitude as the look.

7:22 am January, 26 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

When ever King of Sears motorboats her every in town thinks they’re being called to church.

7:47 am January, 26 mr.reeve said...

King of Sears always has the same smug face. The kind of face that needs punching. Starry Blight is boobs, boobs, boobs and bleethy hottness rolled into a porn star’s body. Huh?

7:59 am January, 26 smackdouche said...

Hello Kitty certainly loves pink, I guess we have that in common. I’ll admit to being a huge fan of Hello Kitty Hott.

12:38 pm January, 27 Stephanie said...

Those boobs have their own zip code.

7:25 pm January, 27 Mark it Eight, Douche said...

Those are ginormous. She’s a walking, somewhat-talking back problem.

12:35 am January, 28 Pantherdouche said...

@UFO Destroyers

I also spot a “young” Keith Richards doing the fist pump, a drunk Jet Lee by his side, and right between the King and Hello Kitty is a female blond head that I can only assume to be Paris Hilton performing felaccio on the busboy. Some star sprangled party indeed!

12:30 pm January, 28 HERO said...

The girl in all the pictures’ name is Kina Tavaroz, she’s actually 100% natural (Yes even her boobs!), I’m a close friend who knows first hand that they are real and she’s never undergone any surgery’s.

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